What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.
I sit with my head in my hands. I am sitting on the blue couch, and Emilie is sitting in the overstuffed tan chair.
"Em, I'm so sorry."
"I know, Spot."
"I was wrong, and stupid, and I've regretted everything since you left."
"I know, Spot."
"I don't deserve to see my daughter grow up."
"Spot, I want to move back in with you."
"What?" Is Emilie out of her mind? The home of an addict is no place to raise a child! That's why she left in the first place. I tell her as much, and she moves next to me on the couch.
"Spot, Zoe needs a father. She needs you."
I shake my head. "Em, you need to move on and find a man who's worth your time."
"I did. I have his ring on my finger and I gave birth to his child."
I shake my head again. "Emilie Conlon, you are the craziest woman to walk the face of the earth."
She nods. "Gabriel Conlon, you are the most broken man to walk the face of the earth. Our family is broken. I'm tired of raising Zoe alone."
"If I'm broken, why do you want me?"
"We can heal together. We can mend our little family."
I sigh. "No. I already hurt you enough. I'm not doing it again." This is the hardest thing I've ever done, but she's better off without me.
She draws in a shaky breath. "Fine, if that's what you want."
And I watch her walk out of my life once again. This time, I won't let her walk back in. I won't be there to come back to.