"Hey Lindsey," Catherine said as she entered her daughter's hospital room. "You okay?"

Lindsey rolled her eyes. "Sure Mom."

Catherine walked closer to the teen and kissed her forehead. Then she sat in a chair next to the bed. "Okay, so you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah…but I'm not sure what I want to say…I mean, it's all kind of confusing."

"Well, I think I can understand that. I mean, I didn't find out about Sam until just a few years ago and was just beginning to get my feelings sorted out over it when he was killed. This is a lot for you to take in and neither Gil nor I expect you to pretend to feel things you don't feel. And I'll answer your questions as best I can."

"It's just….you were so angry with Dad about him cheating on you….and all along, you had cheated on him with Gil."

"It was a little different….I mean, I didn't go over to Gil's intending to cheat. I was looking for a safe place. And it only happened that once. Your Dad was actually seeing other women…long term. But….I understand what you are saying. I can see how it seems the same to you."

"It does. I know it was only that once with you but it was still cheating."

"What do you want me to say, Lindsey? That it was wrong? Yeah, I suppose it was, except that night gave me you and you are the best thing in my life. So I can't look at it as wrong…a mistake. It was a gift."

"I thought Gil was the best thing in your life…"

"Well, he's pretty damn good….but honey, you mean everything to me. I just hope that you can get where you are okay with me and Gil. I hope you can be happy for me."

"I was…but that was before…now I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

You're not supposed to feel anything in particular, Lindsey. Whatever you are feeling right now…that's the supposed to." Catherine paused and then an idea came to her. "Why don't you tell me what you are feeling…not what you think you should feel?"

"I …. Gil's always been around, like more than an uncle even. He's always felt safe to me. There were times when Dad didn't…feel safe, I mean. I knew he cared about you…us. And I always hoped that ….that you two would do something about it. I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. And…then a couple of years ago it was like he didn't care anymore; he wasn't around much and….well, it was Sara, of course. And then suddenly he's back. And now you're telling me he's my real father…" Lindsey stopped talking a minute. She was picking at the blanket as she gathered her thoughts. "I was…am glad that you two reconnected. But I just wasn't prepared for the rest."

"That's understandable. But you still haven't said how you feel about Gil…"

Lindsey looked around the room, thinking. Finally her eyes made it back to her mother and then dropped to her bed again. "Guilty, I guess."

"What? Baby, you haven't done anything to feel guilty about."

"But…when you told me….I was …I dunno, happy?"

"Really? Why would you feel guilty about that, though?"

"Because it feels like I'm forgetting Dad," she confessed.

"You are not forgetting him. He'll always be a part of you. If there was one thing Eddie got right, it was loving you with his whole heart. He didn't always know how to act with it…but there was never any doubt that he loved you. And you loved him…will always, I'm sure. Accepting Gil doesn't mean you are turning your back on Eddie."

"Yeah…maybe. But it still feels weird. Look, Gil wrote me a note when he sent the teddy bear. It was…For Gil, it was pretty emotional. He…um, he told me how he's always felt a special connection. He said he always thought of me as the daughter of his heart."

Catherine absorbed what her daughter was telling her. Her mind went back to Lindsey's birth. Gil had seen Lindsey before Eddie had. Eddie had been unreachable; Gil had been there for them and had held Lindsey when she was just a few minutes old. She remembered the strange look on his face, it had always confused her. Now she understood. Then he had watched for all these years, holding his emotions in, wishing for something he thought he couldn't have.

No wonder he had turned to Sara. She had so obviously wanted him, offered him an opportunity for happiness. And she had been good for him…until she left him devastated. Things had been happening so fast. As Catherine thought about it, she was amazed that he was handling things as well as he was. Gil never moved too quickly, especially when it was emotional. But these last few months he had gone through Sara's kidnapping, the revelation of their intensely private relationship, her recovery, and her leaving followed by weeks of despair. When he had turned to Catherine for comfort, his feelings for her had resurfaced and just as he was adjusting to that, he had discovered that he was Lindsey's father, followed by Sara's pregnancy and abortion. As Catherine pondered all of this, she wondered if they weren't moving too fast. Maybe he needed time to catch up with his emotions.

Lindsey was watching her mother as she was thinking all of these things. She could see how worried Catherine was. "Mom…is there something else….something you are not telling me"

"No honey, not really. Just that Gil had been through so much lately. It must be a bit overwhelming for him. But I do know he loves you so much; he always has…but now ….even more."

"Mom…he's loved me because he loved you. He has ever since I was old enough to notice. That's why I didn't like it that he and Sara were together. You two belong together."

Catherine smiled at her daughter. "Yeah?" she smiled. "I think we are finally figuring that out."

"Look, I don't want to get between you. But I need time to deal with this, okay?"

"Yeah, baby. Actually, I think we all need to take a little time to catch our breath. So much has happened so fast…."

"Would you give this to Gil for me though?" She asked as she handed a folded piece of paper to her mother.

"Sure honey….."

That sat in quiet comfort for a few minutes. Lindsey was getting sleepy again, Catherine could see. "So, I'm going to go and let you rest for awhile. Is it okay if Gil comes back with me later?"

"Yeah," smiled Lindsey. "But I'm not ready to deal with him as my father yet, okay?"

"Okay." Catherine kissed Lindsey on her cheek. "You get some rest and we'll see you later."

Catherine put Lindsey's note in her pocket and headed for her car. Hopefully Gil would be back at the house by now. She wanted to tell him about the conversation with Lindsey and give him the note. And she needed to hold him; feel his arms around her. As she climbed into her car to leave, she could almost feel him with her.

------------------------------------------

Okay, the GSR shippers have been at me again in reviews of a story I wrote awhile back. I'm really tempted to do something mean with Sara. But I'm trying to focus on helping Gil make a family in this story. How am I doing? Reviews, as always, are appreciated. The little button is still there!