One Drunken Night
A/N: Ah Karaoke, we arrive to it at last. I'd been kind of putting off this chapter because I wasn't exactly sure how to go about it. Then I realised something. When do I ever know how to go about something? I just wing it, its worked for my fics so far. So, Amazon Turk, tonight you will be singing 'Get Stoned' by Hinder. Badly. There may even be an assassination.
Disclaimer: In Soviet Russia, stuff no owns you! Jeez, that was lame wasn't it?
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"For the last time, no!" Akalara snapped
"Come on…" Kandi pleaded, it had taken twenty minutes to get Akalara to even enter a karaoke bar and she was not planning of letting the green-haired Turk get away so easy.
"No!"
"Come on..!"
"No, there is no way in hell I'm getting on that stage, I wouldn't be able to read the fucking lyrics!"
"Your no fun." Kandi said, pouting.
"Hey, if you want to go make an ass of yourself Vending machine, be my guest." Akalara said pointing to the stage where someone was trying to sing 'Never gonna give you up'. It was a catchy song but one that is downright awful if the voice isn't right, which it wasn't. Elena and Ram were giggling at how atrocious the man was at singing.
"Alright then, I will." She said curtly, the man had just finished (thankfully) and was shoved unceremoniously out of the way to make way for the streaked hair Turk. But she was determined not to do it alone.
Grabbing her two partners by the arm she dragged them on and selected her chosen song.
"Okay, are you ready to rock?!" She shouted down the microphone, "Because if your not, fuck you!" Flipping off the entire audience, she began. Using the other Turks dragged onstage as back up singers
"Just hear me out
If it's not perfect I'll perfect it till my heart explodes
I highly doubt
I can make it through another of your episodes
Lashing out
One of the petty moves you pull before you lose control
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out 'We could end up making love instead of misery'
But it's all right now
Without a doubt
The break up is worth the make up sex you're givin me
Lets hash it out
Cause your bitchin and your yellin don't mean anything
Don't count me out
I can handle all the baggage that you're carrying
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Let's go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out 'We could end up makin love instead of misery'
But it's alright now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
Go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out
'We could end up makin love instead of misery'
But it's all right now
'Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me'
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned."
However, in Kandi's excitement to get up on stage and perform (no doubt, down to the alcohol) she had forgotten that she can't sing for shit. The reaction of the live audience was not overall positive. Sure there where a few whoops and yells from Yuffie, but apart from the main group… it didn't go over too good.
One person in particular had caught Kandi's attention. He was wearing blue jeans with a black T-shirt and a bad hair-cut. Once the song had finished Elena managed to hear him pass some snide comments about Kandi's ability, the sort of talking-down that is usually found on a TV singing competition, where there's the judge who likes everything, a judge who's sort of fair, and the complete bastard.
"Say what?!" Kandi shouted when Elena passed over to her what he had said.
"Calm down girl, we don't need another bar fight, we're running out of places to be banned and then un-ban ourselves later from." Akalara said, preparing to have to restrain her friend.
"Who said anything about a fight? There a laptop anywhere around here?"
"Why would you want a laptop now?" Tifa asked, Kandi stirred, remembering that she wasn't just with the Turks. Although Tifa had torn up one of the most exclusive clubs in Edge, framing a music critic just so she could kill him was not the sort of thing to be planned.
"umm… no reason." Kandi said, trying to cover her tracks. Okay girl, calm. Its only one person who hangs out at karaoke bars and make fun of the people performing because he has no life, no reason to try to get him offed.
"I didn't know this was a Karaoke bar for the deaf. Maybe they should put a sign up for that." The man commented, not to Kandi's face, but close enough for her to hear. Calm down, Kandi. Resist the urge to castrate him and then rape him with his own dick attached to a mop.
"Can we just go now? I've wasted about 20 minutes of my life here and the beers not even good! Its like sex in a canoe, its fucking close to water! " Akalara complained. At least with the DDR machines, they were still slightly sober and were all talented enough not to make themselves look like a bunch of fools.
"And talk about the company she's keeping…" the critic started again. This time Yuffie's face went red with rage at some of the things he was saying, he was defiantly going down for that one.
"Hey Kandi," she whispered, "Don't worry about a thing, I'll cover you for this one." She said, indicating the man. Kandi smiled sadistically, sometimes it did pay to have someone in a high position of the WRO as a friend.
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Ahh… its done. That took longer than expected, hope you like it. And oh, any relevance of that critic to any real person, living or dead, is purely co-incidental. Put the lawyers away Simon.