mental conversations, thoughts, dreamscape.
in their bedroom...
Naoe shoved Kagetora into their bedroom and pushed him roughly unto the bed.
"What the hell were you thinking? He thundered.
"I was doing my job and sacred duty Naoe," said Kagetora calmly.
"What the fuck is sacred about you fucking our enemy?" Naoe asked angrily.
Kagetora sighed, telling himself not to get angry. He was a bit hurt by Naoe's lack of trust and understanding. "I was actually more like an illusion Naoe. I was standing next to Chiaki the whole time, so it didn't really happen, unlike with us. I would never do that for real," he said, "why cant you understand and trust me?"
"Understand what?" asked Naoe fuming, "understand that my fiancé just gave our enemy his deepest fantasy in which he knowingly acted like a cheap slut?" he asked glaring.
Kagetora's whole body jerked as if he had been slapped. "How can you say that Naoe?" he asked , close to tears, "I had to do what was necessary to protect the people of this world and our family." he said, trying to get his angry lover to understand.
"What was necessary?" Naoe yelled, "how is that necessary Kagetora?" he asked, looking at him with open scorn and disgust, "since when did you become so easy and without moral? Are you saying your willing to do this to all our enemies, you little whore?" He asked.
Kagetora couldn't take it anymore, he began to cry. Getting off the bed , he tried to pull Naoe close, wanting comfort from his lover and tormentor.
"please stop. Don't say these things to me," he begged, tearing flowing down his face.
Naoe began pushing him away.
Kagetora was desperate now, afraid to lose his lover. He began to unbuckle Naoe's belt in desperation, trying to arouse his interest so he could show him how much he loved him.
Naoe shoved him away from him hard, causing him to fly across the bed and slam into the opposite wall hard.
"No thanks," said Naoe viciously, "I don't like used goods." he told his lover, then grabbing his keys stormed out of the room.
Kagetora got up dazedly and ran after him, grabbing his arm to try to stop him from leaving.
"Naoe stop , don't go please," begged the boy, through his tears.
Instead of stopping the much stronger man, he was getting dragged along down the stairs.
"Don't touch me!" hissed Naoe, as he tried to pry the boy of him.
Kagetora held on desperately, " Naoe please, don't leave me please," he begged crying, heedless of the others standing nearby watching.
By now they were standing at the front door and naoe was ready to leave, he tugged at his arm again and Kagetora held on, refusing to let go.
"Let go!" ordered Naoe and the boy nodded his refusal, tears still running down his face.
"I said let go you little slut!" Naoe yelled, slapping the boy across the face hard and shoving him away with more force than he had used before and walking out the door without looking back, to his car.
Kagetora, much smaller than Naoe, flew into a nearby table from Naoe's push, and split his lip and hit his head. He fell to the floor, raggedly.
Mia screamed as they all ran up to him.
"Niichan?" yelled Mia , crying as she tried to help him.
Kagetora stumbled to his feet and pushed them away.
"Niichan let me heal you," said Mia frantically, trying to stop him.
"No , my fault ," mumbled Kagetora, swaying as he tried to stand.
Chiaki , hearing his thoughts said, " he wants to go to his room, so let's take him there." they helped there leader to his room and laid him on the bed.
"Let me heal you," begged Mia.
"Just heal his head injury, Mia," said Chiaki, "that's what he wants."
Mia nodded and began to heal his concussion. When she was threw and her brother was no longer in a daze, she said, " niichan , I'm gonna heal your other injuries now, regardless of what you say."
Kagetora pushed her away, "no , go get ready for school." he told her, "if you don't, you'll be late and it will cause us more problems. You can heal me later." he said.
"But niichan," she began to protest.
Chiaki stopped her and led the others to the bedroom door, "go get ready for school you guys, I'll handle this. If you don't he will worry even more," he told them in a private link excluding Kagetora.
They all nodded worriedly and left for their rooms. Chiaki turned back to Kagetora.
"What are you doing, not letting Mia heal you is making her worry even more." he told him.
"I know , but right now we have bigger issues to deal with. We still have a war to fight or there wont be much for us to call home after if we lose." he said to Chiaki.
"I'm sorry," said Chiaki, "I had a feeling this would happen. I should have stopped you." he said sadly.
Kagetora looked at him, tears in his eyes, "this had nothing to do with you Chiaki. Its not your fault. This completely mine and Naoe's fault. I was naive to think he trusted and loved me enough to handle it." he said sadly, " oh god he hit me Chiaki. I cant believe he hit me. And the things he said."
The boy began sobbing, heedless of his darkening jaw and his bruised and split lip.
"What did I do to deserve this Chiaki? Didn't I love him enough?" he asked his friend sadly, "why? Didn't I give him everything I have? I even gave him my soul Chiaki, so why?' he sobbed.
Chiaki reached down and began to comfort the crying boy.
"You didn't do this he did, so stop blaming yourself." he said to the boy, " Naoe is the one who is wrong here, not you.
Kagetora nodded , "thank you. Now go get ready for school, we have to act normal," he told his friend.
Chiaki nodded sadly and left the room to get dressed. Kagetora pulled himself to his feet and went into the bathroom. With tears still running down his face, he got ready for school. He could handle the pain, he told himself, he had had worse. Wiping his face and putting a band aid on his lip after applying disinfectant to it, he went to join the others.
Meanwhile with the others...
Mia went sobbing to her bedroom. She kept crying and remembering the past as she got dressed. While she knew that him hitting into the table was accidental, the slap across the face wasn't. She silently prayed that it wouldn't be the same again, after all her brother loved this man, this would finally destroy him.
After getting dressed she went out to join the others.
Yuzuru went to his room and sat on the bed. He couldn't believe what Naoe had just done. His heart broke for his friend as he knew that Kagetora was trapped in his love for him. He sighed and got dressed , tears running unnoticed down his face. Then his lover walked in and came over to comfort him. He sobbed a bit before pulling himself together and allowing his lover to get dressed.
Then they went to join the others.
Kana was surprised to witness what she had. As she tried to comfort the angry and upset Irobe, she thought about what she had seen. She felt upset on Kagetora's behalf as she knew he was trapped in this situation. He loved Naoe so much and it showed in everything he did. The fact that he had merged there souls together only made it worse as she knew they could now never be apart. She couldn't understand why Naoe couldn't see how much he loved him as well. The Kagetora she remembered in the old days would have made him painfully regret what he had down. Even love could be a painful chain to bear at times, she realized.
Haruie stormed into her room, she wanted to kill Naoe for what he had done. She picked up her cell and called Sakura immediately. Sakura answered on the first ring.
"Hi Haruie, you just caught me on my way to work," Sakura said cheerfully.
"You won't believe what the hell your brother just did," yelled Haruie angrily.
Sakura immediately realized something was wrong.
"What could he possibly have done to get you in this mood?" she asked in concern.
She listened for a moment, Haruie telling her everything that had happened and why , and she got as angry as she did.
"I'll take care of things on my end," she said angrily, "I'll call you later," she promised and hung up. Then she immediately dialed Miho and stormed out her apartment.
Haruie hung up satisfied and went to get ready for school as well, then she joined the others.
They all stood in the hallway , ready to leave for school , when they saw Kagetora coming down the stairs. His face was slightly swollen from th slap and his lip was swelling rapidly under the bandage.
He walked calmly towards them as if nothing had happened.
"Niichan, let me heal you please," begged Mia.
Kagetora looked at her kindly, " no its all right Mia, we don't have time, and I'll be fine. I've had worse," he said, pain obvious in his eyes.
Mia nodded and dropped the subject , remembering as well.
"I deserve this," chiaki heard Kagetora say to himself mentally. He silently thank god that he wasn't allowing the rest of their family to here Kagetora's current thoughts.
"Don't forget," said Kagetora out loud, " we have an important mission in a few days, regardless of our personal situations." Then he turned to Chiaki, "Chiaki, drop off Mia on your way to school please," he said.
Chiaki nodded and watched as he got his stuff , including his helmet and walked towards the door. Normally he would kiss the girls and Irobe goodbye but this time he just left.
On his way to the door, Chiaki heard a stray thought, "I have to keep going on and fighting, even if Naoe doesn't love me anymore. I'll survive, I'll have to. The others are counting on me. I cant be weak , I have to fight."
He opened their link and let the others hear this as well. As soon as Kagetora rode away they others looked at each other.
"What are we gonna do?" asked Haruie sadly.
"We'll fight and do what we always do, survive ," said Chiaki. "This time its Naoe's fault. We are all angry at him right now but we have to give them a chance to make up. I will talk to him later. Even though we might be against it we have to find a way to help them get through this. They couldn't survive without each other before and their souls weren't mated. What do you think will happen now?" he asked them sadly.
They all thought about what Kagetora was thinking. They had to help those two stay together, even if they wanted to lynch Naoe. Then they all left for school, deep in their own thoughts.
At school...
When Yuzuru and Chiaki got there, the girls were all huddled around their new "idol" Takaya and all wanting to kiss his boo-boo away.
Kagetora smiled and thanked them all politely and allowed them to try to comfort him.
Ms. Fujimiya came in and saw her "darling boy" all bruised up and immediately went into "mothering mode". She demanded to know who had hurt her dear and Kagetora told her that it was actually an accident as he saw a little kid getting beat up and went to intervene. She immediately asked if there was anything she could do for him and he told her that just seeing her lovely face, made his pain fade away.
She preened and blushed insisting that he miss the surprise test she had for them since he was hurt, but he insisted on taking it and much to her delight, Aced it as he had been doing with all his test lately. He was actually now ranked third in his year from all his makeup work and current scores, behind Yuzuru and Chiaki.
Yuzuru and Chiaki watched it all sadly. They could hear his actually thought and knew his inner despair at his situation. They both silently hoped it would all work out okay.
with Naoe...
After storming out of the house, not even bothering to look back at his lover, he got in his car and began driving. He somehow winded up at his parents house.
His mother took one look at him and pulled him inside. She called his father and gave Naoe a cup of soothing herbal tea.
"So what happened to put you in such a state?" Yuki, his mother, asked kindly.
Naoe took a breath and told them what Kagetora had done the night before.
Kaname nodded when he was threw and said, "and how did you react when you found out, this morning?' he asked, he had a bad feeling about this.
Naoe colored shamefacedly and shifted uncomfortably.
"I got really angry." he said, " I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to our bedroom, then...," he broke off, his face darkening even more in shamed and embarrassment.
"Then you?" his father prompted Kindly.
Naoe looked down in shame and continued, "I shoved him unto the bed and asked him what he thought he was doing. He told me that he was just doing his sacred duty and I asked him what sacred about sleeping with the enemy. He told me that it wasn't real, it was only an illusion and he begged me to understand. I called him a cheap slut." he said sadly and his mother gasped.
His mother was about to speak but his father stopped her.
"Go on," said Kaname to his son.
Naoe sighed and continued, " he told me he was only doing what was necessary and I called him a whore. He begged me to stop and pulled me close crying, but I shoved him away from me and he flew across the bed and slammed into the wall. I told him I didn't want him and that didn't like used goods and walked out of our bedroom with my keys. He ran after me and grabbed my arm, begging me not to go but I told him not to touch me. I asked him again to let me go and when he refused I slapped him across the face and shoved him away from me and left. The next thing I knew I was here." he said.
Kaname looked at his son, with shame in his eyes, "you were wrong Yoshi," he said sadly. Then he turned to his angry wife, "honey please let me handle this alone," he said gently.
His mother was about to put up a fight but she saw her husband's shame and quietly left after giving her son a disapproving glare.
Kaname turned back to his son. "Yoshi, you have to stop this before it's too late. Do you realize that what you did was abuse?" he asked sadly.
Naoe nodded.
Sighing Kaname continued, "this isn't like you son. I wasn't expecting you to be calm about this, but you went overboard. You could have hurt or even killed him." he said.
Naoe began to cry softly, "I just got so angry dad, when I thought of him with another man. I sorta just lost it," he sobbed.
Kaname patted his back gently, " I know, but you're going to have to control your temper son. You not only flung him against a wall, you pushed him repeatedly, slapped him, embarrassed him in front of those who serve him and said things you should never say to the one you love." he said to his son.
"I just cant seem to stop myself," sobbed Naoe, "whenever I see him with other people, I panic and want to control and dominate him. I'm always afraid he's gonna leave me," he said sadly.
Kaname nodded in understanding, "everyone has those moments towards the person they love son," he said, "but they handle it differently. He has sacrificed his pride to be with you. He even mated your souls together, so he can never leave you, nor love anyone else in that way. Why don't you get it? He has given everything to you , even his soul. What more do you need to understand that he loves only you Yoshi?" asked his father, " he cant leave you now because your joined, but keep this up and he will begin to try, if for no other reason than to protect himself from you," his father told him wisely.
Naoe turned to his father and began sobbing like a child on his shoulders. "What am I doing dad?" he asked through his tears, "what is wrong with me?"
"You're pushing away the man you love," said Kaname simply. " you need to remember that he has a job to do as well. He already sealed his memories and risked the world to be with you. Stop acting like a spoilt brat and appreciate him fully."
Naoe nodded and into his father's chest and was beginning to pull himself together , when an angry Sakura, followed by an Miho with her son on her hips and Shinohara entered.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Screamed Sakura at him.
"Calm down Sakura," said Kaname to his hot-headed daughter patiently.
Sakura glared at her father, " I will not calm down. Haruie just called me upset to tell me that Yoshi slapped Kagetora and pushed him so hard he connected into a table and split his lip with a severe concussion," she yelled.
Naoe began to sob all over again, "oh god what have I done?" he cried sadly.
"I don't know why you're crying. Kagetora allowed Mia to heal his concussion but didn't even have time to get the rest healed and had to go to school in pain because of you. He seems to think you don't love him anymore and is trying his best not to fall apart," lectured Miho angrily , pushing her baby further up on her hip. In her rage, her shy demeanor was completely gone.
"From what I heard, Mia screamed and was crying. Apparently Kagetora used to be abused by their father when he was younger, and he used to take her hits as well." said Shinohara, "Yoshi, for the first time in my life, I'm actually ashamed of you. You had better find a way to make it up to that boy. No matter what happened he didn't deserve this." he said sadly.
Sakura slumped down into a nearby chair sobbing. Yuki had returned at the raised voices and had heard everything. She immediately took control.
"Miho, take your baby home, Shino go to the temple, Sakura hurry or you will be late for school." she said and gently eased them out the door.
Then she turned to her son, "Yoshiaki, I'm sure that your father has given you some good advice. You need to pull yourself together and go home. When your lover returns, you need to apologize and be patient with him," she said gently, "he has been abused before and it will be hard , but you must be patient. Make no mistake, what you did was wrong and you hurt him. Now you will have to heal the hurt that you have caused. Try to show him that you do trust him and that it wont ever happen again." she told him.
Naoe nodded , and after finally pulling himself together, he went home after thanking them.
Yuki watched her son go and turned to Kaname, "oh Kaname, what is going on with him?" she said , beginning to cry, "why is he becoming this way?'
Kaname pulled her into his comforting embrace and ignored the question even he couldn't answer. Then he remembered what the boy had said that night,
" I cannot change the past but I can make the future better. Even though I now have visions of the future, even I cannot say that I will never hurt him again or that he will never hurt me. Still I have sealed my memories and put everything we swore to protect at stake, just so we could have this chance"
"Maybe there is still hope for them, honey. I have faith and think so," he said.
with Naoe...
When Naoe got home he found Kana in the family room, playing with Irobe.
"Sorry about this morning," he apologized, embarrassed.
Kana turned to look at him, "it's all right, you don't have to apologize to me, I'm not the one you hurt." she said.
He walked into the room and sat on the sofa next to her.
"I really screwed up didn't I?" he said softly.
Kana nodded , "yeah you did," she agreed then, "but you're missing something here. Even after the first time you shoved him and insulted him, he still tried to fight for you," she said observantly.
Naoe nodded, "yes but I threw it back in his face," he said sadly.
Kana nodded again, "yes you did. So now you have to fight for him." she said.
Then she handed him Irobe, " the type of love you have is unmatched by anyone else I've ever seen and its eternal. Don't let it go , or him, you wont find anyone better." she said and then she walked out of the room to get formula for the baby.
For the next few hours, Naoe helped Kana with Irobe and after taking a shower when it was almost time for Kagetora to come home , he waited patiently. This was actually the first time since he had moved in with him , that he hadn't taken him to school.
The others arrived home before kagetora. Chiaki used the link to find out why and Kagetora told them he would be home late but to stick to their normal routine.
Naoe apologized to all of them as soon as they got home. Mia and Yuzuru nodded sadly, Haruie glared, and Chiaki decided to be more vocal as soon as they were alone.
"Do you know you actually managed to hurt him this morning?" Chiaki bit out angrily.
Naoe nodded sadly but stayed silent.
"You know," said Chiaki, " before if you had done this I would have been on your side and understood. But this time you had no reason to do this. He was only doing his job. You know, the worst part about all this is that , he actually thought you would understand. He had so much faith in you. He begged and pleaded in front of all of us and you treated him like shit. Don't you get it dumbass, the seme is supposed to protect the Uke, not abuse them." he said.
Then he shook his head in disgust and walked off.
Things continued on as normal, well as normal as things could be in this situation. And it was during dinner time that Kagetora returned.
By now half his face was a big black bruise and his lip was swollen.
Naoe looked at him guiltily, "this is what I did to him," he thought.
"Yes," said Chiaki viciously, "you did that! Do you feel better now? More like the one in control?" he asked.
"Sorry I'm late ," Kagetora mumbled, his lip making it hard to speak.
He pulled out a cute teddy bear from his bag pack and walked over to Irobe and picked him up. Playing with him was something he did everyday after coming home from school.
He showed him the teddybear, "look what I got you," he said lovingly, "did you miss me?" he asked and began tickling the boys stomach. Irobe giggled and after giving him his usual hug, he put him in his high chair and brought him next to his seat.
then he shared food for himself and began to eat in small bites, his earlier experience at school telling him how painful it would be otherwise.
They all ate quietly, non of the usual banter they normally had and each wished they were somewhere else. Finally , dinner was over and kagetora began to help the girls clear the dishes away.
He was holding a crystal bowl , when Naoe reached out to touch him, in order to get his attention so they could talk. Kagetora dropped the bowl and jerked away reflexively, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.
Everyone stopped what they were doing to look over at the two of them.
"S-sorry it s-slipped," said Kagetora, a tremor running threw his voice as he trembled. He immediately got up and ran to the kitchen, claiming to get a dustpan to clean it up.
"I hope you're happy Naoe," said Chiaki angrily, " your finally in control."
The way the boy had reflexively tried to shield himself and began to shiver, it was obvious that he had been abused before. But what was most obvious to all was the fact that he was terrified of Naoe.
Naoe sighed and walked out of the room away from the accusing stares. He went into the office and after grabbing a bottle of brandy, made himself a glass.
That was where Mia found him when she went to look. She entered to the room and sat in the chair across from him.
"Your drinking. Don't do that. It will only make it all worse," she said calmly.
Naoe looked at her with pain filled eyes and she felt sorry for him.
"I'm sorry I scared you and about all of this," he said sadly.
Mia nodded, "I know. Be gentle with niichan. Our father used to hit our mother and him all the time when I was younger," she said, "the only reason he never hit me was because my brother always stood in for me or use his body to shield me from him. Sometimes niichan would refuse to go get medical help, he didn't want to leave me in the house alone with them. The worse was when I was thirteen, my mom had already left years before and my father was hitting him again. He broke a few of his ribs and arm. Still niichan defended me. I called 911 for help and my drunken father left before they got here. That was the last time we saw him. He refused to stay in the hospital and made an arrangement with the social worker to be able to keep me, refusing to get treatment otherwise."
Naoe felt even worse.
Mia, saying all she wanted to say got up, "in spite of everything, my brother still loves you Naoe-niichan." she said. Then she turned and left.
Kagetora did his homework with the others and after playing with Irobe some more, said goodnight. He went upstairs to their bedroom and got a pair pajamas as well as stuff for school the next day. Then he went to one of the guest rooms and locked the door.
Downstairs, chiaki turned to the girls and his boyfriend, " if you need Kagetora for anything he is in the second guest bedroom," he said , leaving everything else unsaid. They all nodded sadly and went back to training.
With Naoe...
Naoe came up the stairs and walked to their room. Even though he expected it, it still hurt when he found it empty. He took a shower and went to lay on the bed, where he cried himself to sleep, wishing he could take it all back.
With Chiaki and Yuzuru...
Yuzuru cried in his lovers arm that night until , finally worn out, he fell asleep. Chiaki fell asleep an hour later, cursing Naoe for his stupidity and for upsetting Yuzuru.
with the girls...
They talked on the phone with Miho and Sakura on three-way, about the events of the day. Mia also told them about all they went threw when they were younger. They hung up three hours later and went to bed.
with Kagetora...
He laid on the bed and cried for a while. Then he pulled himself together and forced himself to fall asleep. The fist thing he did when he entered his dreamscape was take away the pain from his wounds, but he didn't heal them, as it would cause problems at school. Then he began to work.
with his allies and enemies
early Tuesday morning...
With the Date clan...
Lord Date woke up feeling refreshed. "What a strange dream," he thought.
He sighed and sat up. He was about to put on his robe when he saw it. The burning flame in the shape of a tigers eye on his chest.
"So it wasn't a dream," he thought happily, hope finally springing in his heart for his brother.
Then he remembered all that Kagetora had said and called in his vassal. They began planning for the upcoming war.
with the Takeda clan...
With lord Shingen ...
Lord Shingen woke up screaming. He quickly pulled himself together, not wanting to bring disgrace to himself and went into the bathroom. Stripping down to take a shower, he was about to step in when he saw his reflection in the mirror and noticed the snake tattoo. Pride completely forgotten, he began to scream.
With Khosaka..
Khosaka woke up to the sound of his lord screaming and quickly hopped into a pair of pants. He ran down the hall and burst into the bathroom to assist his lord.
He saw his lord sitting on the floor crying and began to calm him. His lord looked up and noticed the tattoo on his chest and paled.
Khosaka looked down to see what had caused it. It was then that he saw the tiger and noticed the soreness of his backside. He too began to scream.
Later on that day, they seriously began to consider there options.
With the Fuuma...
Lord Fuuma woke up shaking, "that was one hell of a nightmare," he thought eternally grateful to be awake.
His current mistress turned him around to face her so she could kiss him and paused, looking at him perplexed.
"What is it?" her asked her.
She frowned, "nothing , its just that I don't remember seeing that on you before," she said, pointing at his tattoo.
He looked down and saw the rat and screamed.
With Kotaru...
Kotaru immediately woke up and hurried to his master's side.
"What is it my lord?' he asked.
Lord Fuuma looked up at his vassal, " I had a nightmare about rats and woke up with this on me," he said showing him the tattoo.
Kotaru frowned and then remembered his nightmare. He undid his shirt and looked at his chest. He paled when he saw the burning mirror tattooed on him.
"I think we should seriously consider, switching sides my lord," he said seriously.
His lord nodded and looked at his vassal worriedly. They knew that there time to switch sides was running out. They also knew that there was a 90 chance that their tormentor would refuse them, especially after all they had done to him.
After seeing Kotaru's tattoo, they both knew who was responsible. Uesugi Kagetora.
with Ranmaru...
"No please stop, Nobunaga spider-sama!" he screamed upon waking.
He looked up at the maid who had woken him up and blushed in embarrassment.
"It was just a dream my lord," she said smiling.
"I know," he said, his blush still prominent.
The maid nodded, " but if you hate spiders so much, why did you tattoo one on your chest?" she asked innocently.
Ranmaru looked down and upon seeing it began to scream.
When he finally calmed down, he was too embarrassed to look at her.
The men with the threatening tattoos all tried to pretend that they weren't there, unsuccessfully going about their day.
Tbc
authors note: Hi there again, hope you like. Sorry for the errors, please read and review. I've decided to make this into a series. I've already started working on the other one as well. Anyway goodnight, gonna take my medicine and got to sleep now.