Darn it! Must my Felus domesticus (although treasured) continuously saunter on my keyboard when I am in the midst of typing?! I am continuously deleting odd combinations of numbers and letters from my work – but I am quite certain that is not something you want to, much less need to, know. Reviews would be appreciated greatly.
"Artemis?"
"Hmmm…?"
"Will you get your hand off of my stomach? I can't complete this paperwork with you rubbing my lower midriff asking Angelina and Artemis how they like it in my womb." Anna-Maria replied as she smoothed her hair and tied it into a loose ponytail.
"Oh. I'm sorry." Artemis said, withdrawing his arm. "But – are you not excited? We are getting our first sonogram of the twins today."
"Not overly excited if you consider that soon I won't be able to see past my stomach if I try to glance downward." She replied. "Where's Holly? Wasn't she coming over?"
"Does she need to?" Artemis asked. "Where's Davy's toolbox?"
"Davy's toolbox? In his room, where else would it be?" She frowned and looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"
"I need his hammer."
"And why, may I ask, do you need his hammer?"
"If Holly brings her camera, I'm going to need something to smash it with."
Anna-Maria rolled her eyes (which Artemis found very attractive, if you can believe it) and muttered, "Men, they always act as if the sky is falling and is about to land on their heads."
"No, you're thinking of Chicken Little. Which reminds me….do you think we should read bedtime stories to the twins at night?"
"I think it may be
better to do that after the twins are born – at least then they'll
be able to see the pictures and won't wonder why their father is
making odd sounds."
"You always were good at insults."
Artemis said, smiling his vampire-smile.
"Touché, Mr. Fowl." Her bracelet vibrated. "Oh, that must be Holly." Sure enough, Holly's image appeared on the screen.
"Hello, Mud Boy; Fairy Girl. Ready for your first sonogram?" The elf captain asked.
"One more trip to the bathroom, and I'll be ready."
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Artemis watched as Anna-Maria paced around the room nervously. "Darling, will you relax? I am quite certain that young Artemis and Angelina can sense your nervousness; it may disrupt them in some way."
"Artemis, our children are going to be quarter-fairies; what if their ears are pointed?"
"Then they will have a characteristic that makes them unique from other children." Artemis replied as he leaned back into his chair. "Please, calm yourself. As you have said, they will be only quarter-fairies; hence, their ears will only be slightly pointed if at all. We are simply getting our first sonogram of our first-borns."
"Yes, but fairy sonograms are much more advanced than human ones." She replied, finally sitting down.
"How so?"
"Well, first of all, they are in color. Secondly, the doctor can tell you what the exact height, weight, physical features, and intelligence quotient of the infant will be at birth."
"Do they have to supply us with all that information?" Artemis asked with a raised eyebrow. "I would rather be surprised."
"No, they don't have to tell the patient; they just can. It takes away from the surprise and extra pleasure of being a parent, does it not?"
Holly focused her camera on their faces. "I don't know about that – but I would hope that you don't end up with an Artemis-like version of a baby vampire if I were you."
Artemis frowned. "Thanks so much for your opinion, but I doubt that young Artemis and Angelina found it humorous."
Anna-Maria sighed. "How long have we been waiting? It feels like we've been in this room for the past five hours."
Artemis looked at his watch. "Actually, we have only been here for about five minutes. The doctor should be calling us in –"
"Mr. and Mrs. Fowl? The doctor will see you now." A nurse said.
"Shortly." Artemis finished. "I detest interruptions."
"Get used to them, Mud Boy." Holly smirked.
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Holly had her camera focused on Anna-Maria, Artemis, and the sonogram machine; but the doctor appeared to be the exact opposite of camera-shy. On the contrary, she kept trying to push her face in front of the lens. "Do you mind?" Holly hissed at her after she had to move the camera for the fifth time. "I'm trying to get shots of the expecting parents."
"Is that the boy on the left side?" Artemis asked, pointing.
Anna-Maria studied the screen and whispered, "Artemis, that's an arm."
"It is?" Artemis frowned and squinted at the screen. "Oh. That explains why there are two of them."
"What are those odd vibration waves?" Anna-Maria asked the doctor.
"The twins are laughing." The doctor replied.
Holly focused in on Artemis's face and cracked up. "Great job, Mud Boy, the twins haven't been born yet and you're already making them laugh!"
"Thank you yet again, Holly. Remind me to erase that DVD when we get home."
"Which twin is on which side?" Anna-Maria interjected.
"Angelina is on the left, Artemis is on the right."
Holly covered her mouth, but burst out laughing anyway. "The twins must have found it funny that their father managed to mistake one for the other even though they aren't identical!"
Artemis frowned. "It was a mistake that any person could make. I am not a sonogram specialist, after all."
"Enough with the arguing, you two!" Anna-Maria exclaimed. "Doctor, how much longer am I going to stay like this?"
"Just until I can print out a picture of the sonogram." The doctor replied, manipulating certain controls that looked very complicated (Holly wondered how such a dimwit had managed to get through medical school). She snatched the photo from the printer and held it up. "Okay, Mrs. Fowl, you can get off the bed now...or sit up or whatever you want to do."
Anna-Maria frowned at her as she sat up. "Are you always this vague?"
"Uh…sometimes."
Holly whispered to Artemis, "Why did you pick an idiot to birth your first-borns?"
"She may be an idiot, but she managed to get the highest grades in her class." Artemis replied.
"Either that wasn't a very smart class, or she cheated off of somebody."
"Do we have anything to worry about?" Anna-Maria asked.
"Not really. In your situation, seeing as the two of you are genii; I'd worry that the kids would be morons – like multiplying a negative by a negative equals a positive. But the twins are fine – if you consider an I.Q. of 188 per twin at birth fine."
Anna-Maria frowned. "Is there a form of some sort I can fill out to get a different doctor?"
Artemis sighed. "Who is the most intelligent doctor at this clinic?"
"You're looking at her." The doctor replied with a cheery (must be fake) smile.
Holly blinked. "Oh boy, you two are in for it."
I'd hate to have such a moronic doctor in their situation…REVIEW please!