"You know I can't help you," Jack said.

"I understand."

Chapter 15: Letting Go

Sam slept very little that night. As reassuring as it was to have Daniel and Cam in the same residence, and even Jack in a way, she was deeply disturbed. Her conversation with the man who looked like her husband had torn at her emotions in more ways than one.

It went without saying Sam wanted to restore her timeline. She took that as a given; it was only right. Still, hearing "Jack's" obvious angst as he realized his small children would no longer exist gave her serious pause. Of course, she knew the lives of many people in this timeline, her own parents among them, would be irrevocably altered. But thinking about children who would never be, Jack's children, seemed worse somehow.

Since she'd met Colonel O'Neill, Sam had worked overtime reminding herself he was not her Jack. She had to remember this was not the man who'd promised to be with her always, the man she loved beyond her wildest expectations. He might share many of her Jack's characteristics, mannerisms, even values, but his experiences were different. And he was married to Kerry. In this timeline, the Carter-O'Neill romance had burnt itself out.

Colonel O'Neill wasn't the man she'd worked beside for ten years, fighting for their lives and the lives of everyone on the planet. Not the man she'd feared for when he was lost or worked non-stop to bring home on more than one occasion. And he wasn't the man she'd married. As hard as it was, she was glad she'd made that clear to him last night. Much as she'd want her Jack here to help her, he wasn't. Sam being Sam, she didn't want Colonel O'Neill to help out of a sense of misplaced loyalty. He needed to be clear on who she was too.

But there was only so much he needed to know. Surely he didn't need to know the heartache his counterpart had suffered in the original timeline. He'd suffered enough of his own agony in this world. And he wasn't the one she needed to tell the precious news she'd so eagerly held onto during the Purgatory mission. The man who needed to hear it … was far away, somewhere.

She'd been so anxious to return from that mission. Just before leaving, she'd been given the news. After months of trying to conceive, she was pregnant. She'd been ecstatic. That seemed like so long ago.

Now, less than a week after that final day on Purgatory, she realized this Sam wasn't pregnant. Trying to wrap her mind around this was difficult to say the least. Sam found herself mourning. Though her mind told her once the timeline was restored, her pregnancy would be as well, for now, she was this Sam and she was no longer pregnant.

Finally she appreciated fully her husband's distaste for alternate timelines, universes, and realities. Her head was spinning.

OoOoOo

Cam, Daniel and Sam met for breakfast early the next morning. Jacob joined them briefly, taking the time to inform them that he'd been in contact with world leaders and received uniform agreement that restoration of the timeline was their desired course of action. Though it should have been good news for all of them, Sam appeared less than enthusiastic.

"Sam?" Daniel called, realizing she was miles away from them.

"Oh … sorry, Daniel," she said. "My mind was … not here. How are we going to do this?"

Cam and Daniel looked at each other and shrugged.

"We were assuming you would tell us," Cam said.

"Dig up the Antarctic Gate, right?" Daniel suggested helpfully. "That is what you told Jacob."

"We could do that," Sam said without much enthusiasm. It didn't take long for her to notice the looks of disbelief on her friends' faces. "I'm sorry, even if we manage to unearth the gate, even if it's exactly where it is in our timeline, I have no idea how to predict a flare. It's going to take time."

"But you can do it, Sam," Daniel said.

"I hope so," she replied half-heartedly.

OoOoOo

In his role as security officer for the president, Colonel O'Neill would be directly involved in formulating plans for retrieving the Gate. Though he had no idea how doing so would contribute to restoration of the timeline, he knew his Sam well enough to know this Samantha Carter O'Neill would give it her best shot. Although Captain Carter had never been promoted to Colonel in his timeline, or saved the world, he had no doubt she had the ability to do so. She was brilliant.

Even before President Carter obtained approval from the world leaders, Jack sat down with him for an open, no-holds-barred discussion of his personal feelings about the situation. Theirs was a strange, sometimes forced relationship. His ex-father-in-law had always been one of Jack O'Neill's biggest fans. Together, they'd done their best to insure Sam's safety during her pitched battle with the demon of depression. When Sam had filed for divorce, Jack sought out Jacob for a listening ear, while Sam poured out her heart to Kathleen. Jacob knew Jack had done his best by their daughter. After the divorce, many people were surprised when Jack turned up as an important part of White House staff. For Jacob and Kathleen however, he'd been an obvious choice. They trusted him.

Jack knew he was well respected. He'd had a fairly quiet, non-descript career once he'd retired from the black ops assignments of his youth. After marrying Sam Carter, he'd decided to spend as much time as possible at home starting a family. Initially he'd been surprised at how much that meant to him. But watching Sam and Charlie, he'd known his family was more important than anything else.

Charlie's death, Sam's illness and the divorce had devastated him. His grief over his son's loss had been compounded by what he perceived to be Sam's rejection. He'd poured himself into his work, now largely administrative. In the process, on the rebound if ever there was one, he'd met Kerry, an administrative assistant at the Pentagon.

She was lovely; free, happy, full of life, she liked him. She liked him very much. Without even trying, he responded to Kerry in a way he didn't think possible. He needed the attention and care she seemed to offer. At first, their relationship was anything but romantic. A shoulder to cry on, companionship, someone who made him feel alive again, Kerry filled a gaping hole in Jack's life. In spite of himself, Jack developed feelings for her. And as one thing led to another, much to his surprise, Kerry announced she was pregnant.

Though he didn't love her the way he loved Sam, Jack didn't hesitate to do the right thing. He was relieved and grateful that Kerry was willing to see the pregnancy through. He couldn't imagine her aborting his child. Then they found out she was having twins.

They were married. In a small out of the way ceremony, Jack O'Neill and Kerry Johnson said their vows. Both intended to keep those vows, for their children if for no other reason.

OoOoOo

When President Carter informed Sam and her team they were cleared to find the Antarctic Gate, Sam's first reaction was one of surprise. Surprise that it had been that easy, surprise that it hadn't taken months of bureaucratic wrangling to come to a decision. He'd explained that one of the few positive effects of this horrendous war was the ability to work together, both as a nation and as leaders of supposedly warring factions.

After the surprise abated, the team sat down with Jacob, his top advisors, including Colonel O'Neill (Jacob had agreed to excuse Jack from the mission itself, but insisted on his counsel in the planning stages) and a team of scientists recruited to assist Sam in the daunting task of predicting a solar flare. Drs. McKay, Lee and two physicists from the Pentagon were assigned to work under Sam's direction. Without knowledge of the reason for the project, McKay and the others would have only their natural scientific curiosity to motivate them.

And so it began. It was the adventure of a lifetime for many involved, the expedition to find the Antarctic Gate. As she packed to accompany Cam, Daniel and the other handpicked team to the South Pole, Sam realized the necessity of taking one step at a time. Finding and unearthing the gate from beneath more than a mile of snow was one thing. Getting that Gate up and running was another project altogether. She remembered miserably the long weeks and months it had taken to construct an adequate dialing program in her timeline.

It would take a miracle for Ba'al to miss what would be going on. It would take months. They could only hope the Gou'ald was occupied elsewhere and overly confident in his hold on these beleaguered earthlings. Were he to get wind of what they were doing, she had no doubt their punishment would be severe.

So, no pressure, she thought. All I have to do is live in this upside down world for what, maybe a year and do the impossible while I'm at it. Not a problem.

Since the team had the advantage of SG1's knowledge, they went directly to the exact coordinates of the buried Ancient artifact. Still it took a full week to excavate a large enough opening for the Gate to be extracted. And as luck with have it, the DHD was damaged beyond repair. Sure enough, dialing program here I come, Sam thought as she glumly watched the useless device rise through ice.

Then as she rebuffed Daniel's attempts to reassure her, Sam heard excited shouts from the immediate excavation site. Apparently, they'd found something else, another artifact. This one had been buried directly beneath the DHD and on first look appeared undamaged.

The second artifact would change everything.

TBC

A/N: Again many thanks for reading and reviewing. Your attention makes writing so much fun. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and are waiting for the next installment.