Okay, Anna-Maria still has two months left in her gestation period. If any of you have any ideas you want me to do, let me know now.
"What. Is. That?" Artemis asked. "Last time I checked there were still two months left in your gestation period."
"There are, thanks for noticing." Anna-Maria replied sarcastically. Over the last couple of months, her belly had grown in size so much that she feared she would one day get stuck in a doorway. Still, the doctor has assured her that the twins were healthy.
"Then what are you holding?"
"What, this?" She held it up. "It's a baby simulator."
"And we would need a baby simulator because…"
"We have to learn how to properly change diapers so the twins won't get rashes in… uncomfortable places." Anna-Maria replied.
"Why do I need to learn how to change a diaper?"
"Because I can't change the diapers of two babies at once, that's why." She replied huffily.
"And we can't just get a maid to do it?"
"Artemis! A maid is no substitute for parental affection! We have to learn to do this ourselves."
"Fine. Here, give it." The male genius held his hand out for the baby simulator, withdrawing it at the last moment. "Wait, is it going to squirt makeshift urine on me as soon as I open its diaper?"
"No, Artemis. But it does burp makeshift milk." Anna-Maria picked up the simulator and thumped its back; a stream of white liquid squirted out and sprayed all over Artemis' shirt. "Oops, sorry."
"Charming." Artemis muttered as he wiped the front of his shirt with a towel. "You are going to have to pay for this shirt, Anna-Maria."
"Fine, whatever. Just take the baby…I mean the simulator."
"Is there anything else I should know before I proceed with changing that contraption's diaper?" He inquired.
"Actually…if you treat it incorrectly – not placing enough baby powder, for example – it's going to start crying nonstop for about five minutes or until the mistake is corrected."
"Oh, is that all?" Artemis asked, sarcasm dripping from each word.
Five Minutes Later…
"Stop that infernal contraption before I rip its simulated head off!"
Anna-Maria bent over the simulator. "Why me? It was your lousy changing that made it cry in the first place."
"I did nothing so 'lousy', as you say."
"You completely forgot the baby powder!"
"Just stop that horrific din!" He cried, covering his ears with his hands.
"Artemis, a similar 'horrific din' will be produced by Angelina and Artemis. Babies always cry when they're hungry or need something." Anna-Maria said defensively.
"Not like that simulator."
"True. No baby could sound be so annoyingly consistent and ill-tempered." She agreed.
Five More Minutes Later…
"I'M THROWING THIS THING OUT THE HIGHEST WINDOW I CAN FIND!" Anna-Maria screamed.
Artemis held her back, keeping her from seizing the simulator. "Did you not say 'we need to be professional about this' only a few minutes ago?"
"That was before I realized there is something seriously wrong with that thing. LET ME AT IT!"
"Would it not be easier to simply return the simulator?"
"And let someone else suffer because of that little mechanical monster? No way!" She lunged for it, but Artemis still held her arms tightly, and she missed.
"Darling, relax. Remember, your blood sugar and blood pressure must not rise; particularly now that you are expecting."
She stopped and sighed. "Yes, you're right. Where's my meter?"
Artemis produced it from a drawer and proceeded to check her blood sugar and blood pressure. "Hmm…your blood sugar is normal; a result of your insulin injection taken earlier today, I presume. However, your blood pressure is in danger of rising to tremendous heights."
"I know how we can fix that."
"Do you? How?"
She picked up the simulator, lifted the window, and threw it out of the Manor. She watched it crash on the path below. Anna-Maria breathed a sigh of relief. "See? I got it to stop crying."