James, Sirius, and Peter cajoled their friend all the way to Hogsmeade. It was two days after Remus's seventeenth birthday, and a Saturday evening; so they insisted on getting him drunk at the Hog's Head Inn. The group had already had a couple of covert shots of firewhiskey back in the Gryffindor dormitory, so the mood was quite jovial during the walk to the village.
The Hog's Head was having a Muggle-style masquerade party tonight in celebration of the four hundredth anniversary of its opening. Sirius and Peter had concocted quite a costume; when they reached the inn, the two would become a centaur, with Sirius as the human upper body and Peter as the horse's hind end. Sirius was wearing a cloak now, but when he reached the warmth of the inn he planned to go shirtless. Peter, however, would have to crouch down underneath his costume and hold onto Sirius's hips from behind; Remus wondered how long that would last before Sirius became irritated by the hindrance. Remus thought Sirius, with his dark good looks, should have dressed as a satyr, or as the god Bacchus himself. Remus noted that Sirius hadn't mentioned Olivia since last week, so he wasn't sure what had (or hadn't) happened there. Remus was often astonished at how quickly his friend managed to disentangle himself from "messy situations," as Sirius liked to call the inevitable end of his relationships.
James was dressed as the vampire Vlad Drakul. He had tried to make himself as scary as possible, with his black hair slicked back and fake blood made from corn syrup dribbling from his lips, but the effect was only marginally successful due to his glasses and untamable hair; he looked like a Muggle punk rocker, Remus thought. All he needed was a pair of plaid pants and some combat boots to complete the effect.
Remus had dressed as the Slytherin house ghost, the mysterious Bloody Baron, whose name as a Hogwarts ghost was known in the village, even if his story was not. Remus had borrowed clothing from Hogwarts storage; some of the house elves had helped him find a suitable velvet coat with large brass buttons, a frilly shirt, short woolen pants, and a ridiculous curly wig. Sirius had thought he was supposed to be Captain Hook, minus the hook. Remus wasn't certain how the Baron would feel if he ever found out that he was being imitated, and he certainly didn't intend to tell him.
As they approached the Hog's Head, they could see that the place was quite crowded with the usual suspicious-looking clientele, as well as a few students they recognized. All the windows in front were open, despite the bitter March weather, to provide the patrons with a little fresh air. The place looked warm and inviting in the purple light of dusk, and they were drawn to the music and the laughter as weary travelers to a blazing fire. Sirius threw open the door, allowing his cape to fly open as well, for effect, and inhaled deeply. Remus saw Sirius's eyes quickly scanning the room, probably making certain his younger brother Regulus was nowhere about.
Upon entering, Remus smelled firewhiskey and butterbeer, pipe smoke, the wood fire, greasy food, and the sweat of many witches and wizards crammed together in conversation, camaraderie, and shady dealings. By the fire, a group of older wizards dressed as Whirling Dervishes crooned a ribald tune that Remus could barely understand because the men were laughing so hard. Remus scanned the pub and recognized only a few Hogwarts students; he figured that most of the students were at the Three Broomsticks, as the Hog's Head seemed to be crowded with locals. Remus wondered if any of Voldemort's cohorts were lurking in the dark corners; he wouldn't have been surprised if there were. There didn't appear to be any Death Eaters present, but one could never be sure. So far there hadn't been any attacks in Hogsmeade; but Remus knew that this security wasn't likely to last.
As luck would have it, a clutch of witches and wizards vacated a booth just next to the open front windows, and James ran to claim it. Remus and Peter quickly joined him, and Sirius inched his way to the bar to order firewhiskeys from the dark-haired barmaid who helped on the weekends. Sirius was undoubtedly putting the drinks on credit, as usual, to keep the firewhiskeys coming; even though Sirius was on the outs with his family, the money, at least for now, was still there. Normally, Sirius's imposed generosity and the pressure to keep drinking would have irritated Remus; but tonight he was willing to accept the gift. Remus felt relaxed and strangely electrified, as if this night were something unusual that he should remember, as if something was about to shift and he had better notice it when it did. As Sirius approached the table, balancing four firewhiskeys in dirty glasses between his fingers, Remus felt quite lucky indeed to have three friends such as these.
"A toast!" bellowed James. "To our favorite furry friend, Remus John Lupin!"
"Hear, hear!" Sirius and Peter cried. The four raised their glasses and clinked them together, then downed as much of the fiery stuff as they could manage. All attempted to keep a straight face, but the watery eyes were impossible to avoid.
More quietly, James continued, eyes twinkling. "May you always have a soft spot to rest your head after the full moon."
"Thank you, James." Remus raised his glass, facing each of the others in turn. "And may I always give my good friends here the honor they deserve. I couldn't ask for better." The friends took another swig of the scorching liquid, managing to retain their composure only slightly better this time.
As the four drank and chatted, they each loosened up in their own particular way. Peter began telling the most risqué jokes, watching to make sure the others laughed; none of them had any idea where Peter had gotten this raunchy material. Sirius was inclined to climb onto the table and make an announcement of his availability, but the others pulled him down, seeing as there were only a few young women in the place; most of the witches were in their forties, at least. Sirius said that age mattered little when it came to love, but acquiesced nonetheless. Instead, he contented himself with listing the qualities of the women in the pub; it was almost as if he were trying to see if there was anyone worth taking out to the woods for a tryst. Remus, usually quiet, became animated and philosophical, regaling his friends with his theories on countering Dark creatures and spells – it was more than defense, he insisted; it was an art. With every pithy comment that Remus made, James was reminded of a popular song, which he then felt compelled to sing at top volume for the benefit of the others.
Night began to fall, and the darkness outside made the lively pub feel cozier in comparison. Many people passed by the window of the inn over the next hour or so, but all at once James leapt up and, with his torso hanging out the window, shouted, "Evans! Hey, Lily!" He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly.
Lily approached James at the open window. Remus experienced the familiar stomach lurch; but this time, probably due to the firewhiskey, it was a pleasant sensation. Lily was wearing a long green velvet cloak and hood that offset her red locks beautifully. Her hair was down tonight, Remus was pleased to notice.
"What's going on in there?" Lily asked.
"Masquerade party!" James and Sirius shouted.
"Come in, come in!" begged James. The other three called out their agreement that she should escape the cold. Remus thought he saw Lily glance at him before she left the window to come to the door, and his heart skipped a beat. The other three young men cheered; all were feeling particularly jolly by now.
James stood up when Lily neared their table, and she slid into the booth between James and Remus. Remus inhaled the cold, sweet air that Lily had brought in with her and thought he would pass out with longing; he managed a smile in greeting, hoping that he didn't do or say anything foolish in her presence tonight. James immediately gave Lily his whiskey and Sirius called for another round of drinks. Lily downed a respectable amount of the whiskey and made a sour face, then took another swig for good measure. The boys applauded, suitably impressed. Lily said she had come from the Three Broomsticks, where she had had a butterbeer with friends; she claimed to have been on her way home when the boys waylaid her. Her cheeks were red from the cold; she was practically glowing. Best of all, she seemed in no hurry to head back to school. No one bothered asking how it was possible for her to be "on her way home" while heading in the opposite direction of Hogwarts.
Lily had not dressed for a costume party, so Peter declared that she must be Guinevere, of Camelot. She already looked the part with her flowing green cloak. They all explained about their costumes, and Remus felt obliged to remove his preposterous wig at once. He noticed that Lily kept looking at Sirius's sleek, well-sculpted chest and arms, and he felt a twinge of jealousy. Her appraisal of Sirius's body didn't seem to faze James in the least.
"So the occasion is the four hundredth anniversary of the opening of the Hog's Head?" she asked.
"Ah, no, my dear lady," James replied. "Well, yes, that, too. But more importantly – it is the birthday of our dear old comrade, Remus."
"Well, cheers, Remus!" She raised her glass, and everyone else in the booth did the same. "I'll have to give you your birthday kiss, won't I?" she smiled, her eyes glittering in the table's guttering lamplight.
Remus tried to grin and raise his glass to her in return, but his insides were churning into butter. He wasn't used to flirting, and he didn't know if he could withstand an initiation to the art with none other than Lily Evans. He was likely to make a spectacular fool of himself.
James cut in. "Oy, birthday kiss? Where was mine? Where have mine been all these years?" he pouted.
"It's a new tradition," Lily quickly countered. "Don't worry, you haven't missed anything."
"I have an idea!" James announced suddenly. He looked at Remus's costume and winked at him. "Whoever can guess how the Bloody Baron died, it's a round of drinks on me. And Lily will kiss everyone at this table."
"Wait a minute! Why don't you kiss everyone at the table, James?" Lily fumed, but there was a smile underneath the hard edge. Remus's heart did a somersault.
"If it'll make you happy, I'll do it," James joked, his smile spreading mischievously. "But it won't be pretty."
"Or as fun," Sirius added with a leer, waggling his eyebrows.
"Don't worry," Peter assured her quickly. "No one actually knows how he died."
"Don't be a spoil sport, Peter. Come on, anyone have a guess?" James prodded.
The table was silent.
"Do you know?" Lily asked James.
"Oh, no, I was just wondering. I don't know myself. Ow!" James winced as Lily poked him in the ribs, but he appeared smugly pleased with the physical contact.
At that moment, the wizened barkeep with the long, grey beard brought another tray of drinks and began passing them around; he smiled at Lily as he passed her a firewhiskey. Sirius glared at the old man, clearly remembering that he'd allowed Death Eaters to meet here. Remus figured the fellow probably wasn't given much choice.
"Come on," James prodded. "Someone must have a guess."
"Erm, actually," Remus began quietly, "I think the Bloody Baron wanted to live forever. He was sentenced to death for the killing of a unicorn. The town magistrate had him impaled seven times with the horn. Hence all the blood."
"No way!" Peter crowed.
"Nope, outrageous," pronounced Sirius.
"Wait, let's hear him out," said James hopefully, glancing at Lily as he spoke.
"Actually, that seems to be the most commonly held belief," the bearded barkeep confirmed jovially. The table erupted into cries of disbelief. "How did you hear about it, if you don't mind my nosiness?"
"I, er … One day during my second year at Hogwarts I ran into Peeves – the Hogwarts poltergeist – and he let it slip." Remus grinned ruefully. "Along with a bucket of lake slime." The barkeep smiled knowingly and sauntered back to the bar.
"What?" James was incredulous. "Why did you never tell us?"
"Um … never came up in conversation?" Remus ventured.
"Aww, you traitor!" Lily roared, laughing. "Now I have to kiss these perverts! Oops, well, you're the birthday boy, Remus, you're okay," she said soothingly. "But the rest of these clowns …"
The happy group at the table continued to down their drinks, and soon Sirius began singing a song. He claimed that it was written by one of his less illustrious ancestors in the sixteenth century, and dedicated to this very inn. His voice was quite pleasant and resonant, although he slurred several of the words. The ivy he had placed in his tousled hair as part of his centaur costume truly gave him the appearance of Bacchus, and he sang with abandon:
The boar's head in hand bear I
Bedecked with bay and rosemary
And I pray you, my masters, be merry
Quot estis in convivio.
Caput apri defero,
Reddens laudes Domino!
"I know that song!" James cried out drunkenly as Sirius sang. "We sang it at Christmas every year!" In fact, everyone at the table knew the song, from various festivals and gatherings in their past, and they all sang the last two lines of each verse. James took on the next verse, singing in a clear, boisterous baritone:
The boar's head, as I understand,
Is the rarest dish in all the land,
Which thus bedecked with a gay garland
Let us servire cantico.
Caput apri defero,
Reddens laudes Domino!
Lily began clapping in time as James sang. Peter piped in with the third verse, his voice a thin, nasal tenor, his small eyes glistening joyfully. The other boys joined in the clapping, and the singing of the refrain became louder as many of the patrons in the noisy pub began to clap and sing along.
Our steward hath provided this
In honour of the King of bliss
Which on this day to be served is
In Reginensi Atrio:
Caput apri defero,
Reddens laudes Domino!
Remus, feeling warm and happy, fortified by the drink, jumped in with the last verse. His voice was rough at the edges but rang out nicely. By this time, the entire pub was clapping, singing, and hooting.
The boar's head, I dare well say,
Anon after the eleventh day,
He takes his leave and goes away,
Exivit tum de patria.
Caput apri defero,
Reddens laudes Domino!
A wild cheer ensued from the entire pub, and there were several toasts to the barkeep and barmaids, even to the ruddy-faced house elf who peeked his head out of the kitchen for a split second. "To the Hog's Head!" several of the men bellowed. "Nice to see the young ones carrying the torch," a fierce-looking man roared jovially. Remus's group all grinned at each other contentedly, laughing merrily and downing more firewhiskey.
"Lily, sing us a song!" James insisted, his face looking as if it were near to crack in two from smiling.
Lily blushed. "Ah, no …"
"YES!" the table exploded.
"Please, for us," Remus insisted. "For me, for my birthday?" He held his breath as she looked at him for a moment, her green eyes reflecting the dancing light from the oil lamp at Remus's elbow. Then she looked away toward the fire, deep in thought, and he felt the breath leave him again. Finally, with a crooked smile, she agreed and another cheer erupted from the boys.
"This ballad is well-known by some of the older people in the wizarding community. It's called An Mhaighdean Mhara, which means 'the sea maid' or 'the sea wife.' It was written in Irish, but I'll sing it for you in English. My great-great-great grandfather wrote it. I don't know if it's true, but supposedly he married a mermaid."
"What?" Remus asked incredulously. Was this why she wasn't concerned about swimming in the lake at night? Did she have mermaid blood in her? There was so much he didn't know about Lily, and so much he wanted to learn.
"You're kidding," Sirius scoffed.
"If you don't let me tell the story, I won't sing the song."
They were immediately silent.
Lily took a breath and looked at each of the boys in turn as she revealed the tale. "My great-great-great grandfather on my mother's side, his name was Pádraid Chinidh – or Patrick Kinney, as we would say in English. He was a sailor and a powerful wizard who fell in love with a fierce and unusually beautiful mermaid whose English name was Mary. She loved him desperately, and she agreed to allow him to cast a spell so that she could have two legs and live on land with him. He gave up sailing and they lived for several years in happiness, and had a daughter. But one day, Mary went into the barn and found her magic cloak, her 'skin' – and she knew that she must return to her home in the sea. The song is a lament, between the mermaid and her daughter, Máire. It's my grandfather's words in the first verse, his little daughter's in the second, and the mermaid speaks in the last two verses."
Lily cleared her throat and began to sing in a quiet, clear voice. She kept her eyes closed for the first few lines of the song; but then, emboldened and singing more fully, opened her eyes and stared into the fire. Her face looked rapturous, like a marble sculpture of a saint ascending heaven. The drink had given her glittering green eyes an intense and faraway look, and the boys around her sat transfixed, bewitched. James and Remus stared at Lily somberly from either side. Sirius gathered his cloak around him and watched her serenely, his laurelled head leaning on the back of the booth. Peter clasped his hands on the table and gazed at his fingers with wet eyes. The din of the pub seemed to dissipate as the four listened to Lily's voice:
It seems that you have faded away and abandoned the love of life
The snow is spread about at the mouth of the sea
Your yellow flowing hair and little gentle mouth
We give you Mary Kinney to swim forever in the Éirne
'My dear mother,' said blonde Máire
By the edge of the shore and the mouth of the sea
'A mermaid is my noble mother'
We give you Mary Kinney to swim forever in the Éirne
I am tired and will be forever
My fair Máire and my blond Patrick
On top of the waves and by the mouth of the sea
We give you Mary Kinney to swim forever in the Éirne
The night is dark and the wind is high
The Plough can be seen high in the sky
But on top of the waves and by the mouth of the sea
We give you Mary Kinney to swim forever in the Éirne
The boys were silent for several moments. Feeling a rush of cold air from the window, Remus began to shiver. James continued to watch Lily, chin in his hand, his eyes blinking slowly as if she were still singing. Lily, blushing at the tears that had welled up while she sang, glanced awkwardly at the ceiling while she wiped her eyes and laughed.
Coming back to himself, Remus touched her arm lightly with his fingertips. "Lily Evans, stealth chanteuse," he said softly. She caught his eyes in a brilliant green gaze, and they smiled at each other for an instant.
"Well, well, I think we've all got our second wind now," Sirius announced, whipping off his cloak again. "More drinks?" The table jubilantly agreed. "Come on, Peter, let's show off our costume at the bar."
"Wait, wait, these are on me," James winked, handing Sirius some coins.
Sirius and Peter assembled themselves into the formation of a centaur, trotting toward the bar to the applause of the other patrons. Several women eyed Sirius's physique and refined good looks approvingly, and some began to whisper.
As they swigged the last of their old whiskey, Remus, James, and Lily began joking about the amount of homework they were being given by Professor McGonagall in Transfiguration. James performed quite an accurate imitation of the last time he was given detention by "that manx, Minerva," as he called her. Remus and Lily were in stitches by the time Sirius and Peter, who had already disconnected himself from Sirius's hips, returned with the drinks. The two had brought doubles for everyone, and Lily groaned.
"This isn't a plot to get me drunk, is it?" she smiled, though it was plain to all that she was already quite inebriated.
"Yes, it is," James said simply. "You've never spent any time with us, and we want to make sure you enjoy it so you'll want to do it again."
The table laughed and toasted again, downing these drinks with more relish than the last round. Soon James was reminding Lily of her obligation to kiss everyone at the table because Remus had correctly identified how the Bloody Baron had died. There were many protests and lots of laughter and prodding, until finally Lily was leaning across the table toward Peter. Peter blushed a bright red and started giggling nervously, which made Lily laugh all the more. She pressed her lips to his, laughing so much that there was scarcely a pucker between the two. They both collapsed backward, laughing hysterically.
"You call that a kiss?" Sirius boomed. "Here, let's show 'em how it's done, love." Suddenly he hoisted himself up, sprawling on his back across the table, empty glasses flying everywhere. The others managed to grab their full ones and down them or place them out of the way. Sirius looked up at Lily from his prone position, arms open wide to the sides, and, smiling rakishly, commanded, "Give it to me."
Smiling and blushing at his semi-naked form, Lily leaned forward into Sirius's upside down face and kissed him once. In a flash, his hands were in her hair, holding her to him, prolonging and deepening the kiss. One of his knees bent and he started kicking the back of the booth, hips bucking wildly. The patrons in the booth behind him turned and glared. James whooped and Peter clapped. Just when Remus started to think it had gone too far, Sirius released Lily; but he kept her lower lip gently between his lips as she pulled away. Lily touched her mouth, blushing intensely now. Sirius plopped back into his side of the booth and watched her face with satisfaction.
"Ahh," Lily scolded, still rubbing her lip and wagging her other finger at him. "Now I see what all the Slytherin girls have been talking about."
"Lies, lies, all lies," he denied with a smile.
"Now Remus!" James cried, and Remus's heart leapt. "The birthday boy!" Evidently James wanted to save his kiss for last.
"I don't know how much of this I can stand," Lily smiled, not meeting Remus's eyes.
"Oh, it – it's quite all right," Remus stammered, realizing that his diction was fairly imprecise at the moment. "A simple handshake will suffice …"
But the kiss cut him off mid-protest. Her lips were supple and met his easily, comfortably, and he found himself kissing her back hungrily. The kiss lasted longer than he thought it probably should have, but he didn't care. He lost all sense of time and place while he inhaled Lily's scent, savored her mouth. He realized his hands were holding her face as she gently extricated herself, smiling, from the kiss. The other boys were vocalizing their approval, Peter punching him on the arm. Remus's head spun as he looked, smiling, into Lily's eyes, their faces only centimeters apart. He had somehow gotten a lock of her hair wrapped around his index finger, and she laughed as she unwound it for him.
"Lady Guinevere?" James purred, slurring. His eyes blazed, but his smile was strangely cautious as he waited for her response.
Lily offered a crooked smile in return, glancing sideways at him. "I don't know about this, James Potter."
"What? Trust me, I won't bite," he grinned, taking her hand at last in his own. Lily tentatively gave him her hand and allowed herself to be pulled toward him. Their lips met and, in his usual over-the-top fashion, James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him in the long booth. Sirius and Peter erupted into screams of laughter. Remus was forced to watch their squirming bodies from his position next to them.
Then he realized that the squirming was Lily trying to push herself up. She got her bearings and stared down at James. Looking across the table at Sirius, with some of James's fake vampire blood on her chin, she said, "I think he's passed out."
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Remus and Lily watched through the grimy open window as Sirius and Peter carried James up the road as best they could. James's dead weight and their own drunkenness caused the boys to stop every few feet to readjust. Finally, they heard Sirius bark, "Oh, fuck all!" He fumbled in his cloak for a moment, then raised his wand and yelled, "Levicorpus!" In a flash, James was upside down, his cloak over his head. Sirius was then able to move the body with ease, dragging James manually by his wrist as if he were a balloon. Peter quickly shuffled along behind him, laughing and patting Sirius on the back.
Remus flopped back against the booth with a thump. "Wow," he mused. "I haven't seen him that snockered in a while," Remus slurred. He downed the last of his firewhiskey, no longer feeling the intense burn in his chest he had felt earlier this evening. The cold air coming in through the open window didn't bother him, either. Probably had a few too many, he winced. He would be feeling it tomorrow.
Lily turned toward Remus and rested her cheek on her hand, her eyes slowly blinking as she gazed at him.
"You're a bit worse for wear," Remus smiled, indicating Lily's chin, which was still covered in James's fake blood. "May I …?" When she nodded, Remus pulled a frilly handkerchief from the sleeve of his costume and wiped away the syrupy substance. He grinned at her when he was done, marveling inwardly at how satisfying the simple act of touching Lily with a handkerchief felt. He stared at her lips, hardly daring to believe that he had actually kissed her tonight, even if it was just part of a game.
"Hmm …" she sighed. She raised her glass and tilted it back to her lips, then realized it was empty. Misjudging the distance from her mouth to the surface of the table, she put the glass back down with a loud thunk.
"Another?" Remus offered, reaching for the few coins in his lint-filled pocket. What are you doing? he chastised himself. Shut up, idiot, he answered.
"Oh, Remus," Lily said cryptically. She raised her eyebrows and smiled the crooked smile that Remus had finally deduced only appeared when she was drunk, and he decided that he loved it almost as much as her sober, symmetrical smile. He loved the sound of his name in her voice, half-sigh, half-declaration.
The clocktower bell rang from further in town; it was half past nine and time for all Hogwarts sixth and seventh years to head back to the school. Third, fourth, and fifth years had to be back by eight o'clock. The bar officially stayed open much later for its local clientele.
Remus felt his cheeks becoming warm and he looked out the window. He could no longer see the forms of Sirius, Peter, and James anywhere on the road. The Hogwarts upperclassmen and a few other patrons began to detach themselves from their drinks and wind their way, singly and in pairs, to the door.
"Shall we?" he ventured.
"Let's shall," Lily replied.
Lily slid herself out of the booth and weaved a bit upon standing, balancing herself with a hand on the windowsill. Remus stood up next, wig in hand; and the room only tilted once, which he took as a good omen. He offered his other hand to Lily, who was wise enough to take it.
"Ah," Remus nodded, "we are halfway there."
Trundling out of the Hog's Head, Lily supported herself with one hand on Remus's shoulder. They walked for a while in silence down the dark road, the other patrons already lost in the darkness further ahead.
"Ugh, this is bad," she whispered roughly. "I'm staggering."
Remus's eyes crinkled. "Yes, but staggering is a sign of strength," he declared, sweeping his arm outward dramatically. "Only the weak have to be carried home."
Lily looked up at him and started laughing, a deep, throaty belly-laugh that made Remus's skin break out into goose flesh. He grinned down at her, thanking whichever angel had brought Lily to their table this evening, thanking James for passing out, thanking his lucky stars that he was sober enough to escort her home, thanking the night for being just moonlit enough. Lily's skin was so luminescent that it looked stark white; she was an alabaster ghost in a world of black and grey. Her wildly tousled hair seemed even redder now than in the daylight; her eyes the dark, bottomless green of the sea. Remus willed time to slow down just for tonight, just for their walk back to Hogwarts.
"I didn't know it was your birthday today," remarked Lily.
"Actually, it's not," Remus confessed. "It was Thursday."
Lily stopped and looked at him. "The day we were on the hill. You never said."
Remus shrugged. "It's just a day." He started walking again but Lily stopped him, her hand on his arm.
"Remus. I never gave you your official birthday kiss tonight, did I?" Her eyes were locked on his, and there was a strange determination in them, like the one he'd often seen in Potions class.
"Erm," he managed. Think of James! his voice of reason ordered. But that voice was becoming fainter in the din of his pounding heart.
"I must give you one kiss for each year you have walked this earth," Lily concluded. "That would be ..."
"Seventeen," he supplied helpfully. A thrill of longing curdled in abject terror as soon as the words left his mouth.
Lily smiled. "Yes, seventeen kisses it is, then."
The guilty part of him starting speaking before he could shut it up. "That's – that's hardly necessary. I mean, you already kissed me when –" And her lips were on his for the second time this evening.
"One," she whispered.
Remus was speechless as Lily pulled away, gazing calmly at him. The look seemed to last a full minute while his heart, the little tyrant, thudded inside his chest. Light and shadow faded around him as he stared boldly into her face, wishing he could read her thoughts. Why was she kissing him? He watched Lily's eyes shut once more as her face moved toward his.
"Wait," he heard himself saying. But their lips met, for a second longer this time. Lily pulled back and smiled.
"Two."
Remus's hands twitched. His palms felt itchy and hollow, as if only by touching Lily would they feel complete again. He willed them to remain at his sides.
"It seems that I … I've forgotten to … to say … to do … erm, something …" Remus was fully aware that he sounded like an exceptionally dim-witted troll.
"What are you blathering about, Remus?" There was that crooked smile again.
"I … uh … I really haven't the foggiest notion. Have you?"
"You were about to kiss me back, I think," Lily said simply, her pale face upturned and waiting in the moonlight. Remus could feel her breath on his chin. Somehow his hands were on her waist now. When did that happen?
"I – was I?"
"You tell me." Lily's eyes, so dark tonight, flashed brilliantly, fiercely. How could he have avoided meeting those eyes so many times, day after day? He felt her fists resting on his chest, holding the lapels of his coat tightly. Now Remus and Lily found themselves staring at one another as though they had each accepted some sort of challenge. Why were his words so hard to find? He inhaled, as if by doing so he would manage to say the right thing.
And he kissed her.
Warm exhalations mingled, vapor clung to faces while bodies shivered in the cold. Hands tugged, fingers groped. Thought became simple, singular, uncomplicated. Kisses tolled the seconds and minutes by fits and starts. Smiles created secret cursive messages on mouths, messages decipherable only by taste.
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After several sublime minutes a cold voice broke the couple apart. "I wouldn't do that, Lupin."
Remus and Lily looked behind them and saw the dark, angular figure of Severus Snape ambling toward them from Hogsmeade.
"You of all people should know she's Potter's prize." The expression on his face was inscrutable: he seemed at once vexed and pleased. Severus cut a wide path around the couple staring at him, still breathing hard, lost for words. They watched as he lazily made his solitary way back up the road toward the school.
"Bloody hell," Lily breathed, her face angry as she stared after Severus's loping form. "Bloody, bloody hell. Bloody hell."
Lily and Remus stared at one another for a long moment.
"Lily, I –" he began.
"Don't," she said quickly, her eyes lowered and her cheeks red. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have –"
"No, no, no, no, no!" he sputtered. "Please, don't think that I didn't want … That I never … I mean, all this time and I –"
"Remus." Lily took his hand in hers. "Let's go home. It's late, and there's no sense in finishing your birthday kiss. Your heart's not in it anymore."
She was right. Remus felt wretched. They gazed at each other for a moment and finally turned to walk back to the school, his hand holding hers inside the pocket of his coat. He suddenly felt stone sober. His thoughts were a blur, but he tried not to show Lily how confused he was. He just wanted to feel the warmth of her hand for a few moments more. They walked in silence, and finally, indeed, it seemed that time, as Remus had so naively wished, had slowed to a crawl. By the time they reached the front gate, they had dropped hands.
One by one, they climbed the stairs to the Fat Lady. "Blubbering buffoon," Remus muttered dismally, and the portrait opened. The Common Room, thankfully, was empty and dark; moonlight striped the deserted tables and chairs, the abandoned homework, and mugs of coffee and pumpkin juice that hadn't been cleared away by the house elves yet.
"Well," Lily whispered. "Good night."
"Good night, Lily," Remus murmured, miserably relishing the feel of her name on his tongue.
They stood for a moment, searching each other's eyes for what to do next.
"Well, get on with it!" the Fat Lady ordered groggily. "Some of us want to get some sleep."
Suddenly, without warning, Lily gave Remus a quick peck on the lips, then dashed through the portrait hole into the Common Room and up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. Remus touched his lips with fingers that had been warmed by hers and slowly, automatically, made his way up to the boys' tower. His friends were already slumbering noisily in their beds. Remus fell onto his own bed, still fully clothed in his ludicrous costume and grasping his wig in one hand. He stared at the spinning bed curtains for a long, long time.
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A/N on the songs:
-- Sirius sang "The Boar's Head," by Wynken de Worde, English traditional, 16th c.
-- Lily sang "An Mhaighdean Mhara," composer unknown, Irish traditional, date unknown. This is a beautiful ballad. Go to iTunes and listen to the sample by the band Altan from their album Island Angel. They sing it in Gaelic and it's heavenly.