Remus awoke with a jolt and sat up, gasping and reeling, convinced that it was the full moon and that he had overslept again. Yanking back the bed curtains, he saw that the time was half past eleven, nearly time for lunch. He dropped back onto his sweaty pillow and felt the terror and disorientation slowly subsiding, replaced by a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as he remembered the events of last night and this morning. Another fifteen minutes elapsed before he decided he had better get up. He moved slowly at first, merely sitting on the edge of the bed until his head stopped swimming. The bed tower was empty; all the students were in class. With effort, he got out of bed and dressed.
As it happened, Lily didn't check on Remus. In fact, she missed all her classes and made herself rather scarce all day long, only appearing for the evening meal. The day passed for Remus with no fanfare other than the dull recognition that everything now had changed.
During breakfast, Sirius had whispered to James and Peter that Lily now knew about Remus's lycanthropy. Over lunch, when Remus joined his friends after his fitful sleep, he proposed that they all have a meeting that evening. Lily was now, more or less, one of them; after that traumatic prologue, she had a right to know the whole story. Because they couldn't think of a place to talk where they were certain they couldn't be overheard, James suggested that they utilize the Room of Requirement once more. Peter spotted Lily on the way to dinner and tiptoed over to her to ask her to meet them at eight o'clock, and she had agreed. She had eaten quickly and exited before the other three boys, speaking in whispers across the long table, knew she had even been there.
James had arrived early and, as Remus entered the Room of Requirement, he found himself in a warm, inviting lounge filled with comfortable tables and chairs. James was seated in an upholstered chair next to the fireplace, and the flames danced across his glasses as he stared into it. He had bruises on his forearms and a small one under his left eye, evidence of his encounter with centaurs in the Forbidden Forest last night when he was searching for Remus. Remus winced again at the sight of the injuries. He flopped into the chair across from James, grateful for the warmth and coziness of the blazing fire. James didn't speak to Remus, or look at him; and Remus, feeling wretched, did not press him. Soon Sirius arrived, then Peter, and they all sat in silence around the small coffee table as they waited for Lily.
As the minutes ticked on, Remus began to think she wasn't going to show up. He nervously fingered the scar on his upper lip, shifted in his seat, checked his grandfather's antique pocket watch. At last the door opened, and a pale Lily stepped through it. She softly closed it behind her and padded across the room. As she approached the fireplace Remus saw that her eyes were red, and his heart thudded painfully. She wore a maroon silk scarf around her neck and her blouse was buttoned high to hide the place where he had bitten her. Slowly she lowered herself into the remaining chair between Sirius and Peter.
"Now what?" she said breathlessly, keeping her raw eyes on the rug at her feet.
There was a long moment of silence as Remus tried to think of where to begin. "I – that is, we – think you deserve to know the truth."
And he told her his story, from being attacked by Fenrir Greyback to his arrival at Hogwarts and Dumbledore's provision of the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack. He told her that the only faculty members who knew about his condition were Dumbledore, McGonagall, Pomfrey, and Hagrid. At that point James took over and described the development of the friendship between the four boys, how they slowly began to suspect that something was going on with Remus, and how they eventually discovered his secret by following him and Madam Pomfrey to the Whomping Willow one night under the invisibility cloak and overhearing part of their conversation. Sirius explained how he, James, and Peter had decided to become Animagi and had finally succeeded last year, accompanying Remus on monthly visits to Hogsmeade. After a moment's hesitation, James told her about the near-tragedy in December, when Sirius had lured Severus to the Whomping Willow. Peter described the Marauder's Map that Remus had created over Christmas holiday so that they could see who was about, particularly at full moon. Finally Remus detailed his attempts to find a cure, including his dodgy but informative meeting with Adelaide Honeyduke and her subsequent death, as well as the reports he had uncovered in the Quibbler and his meeting with Lucas Lovegood. He pointed out how many people had been bitten by werewolves lately and declared that it must be the work of Voldemort. When Remus finished speaking, Lily sat in stunned silence, letting the words sink in.
"Wow," she muttered dryly, pressing her fists to her forehead. "I need a drink."
With a pop, a tray containing five glasses of firewhiskey appeared on the coffee table in front of Lily and she jumped. Her sudden, nervous laughter broke the tension, although the general mood remained grim.
"Thanks, Room," Sirius acknowledged, taking a glass and toasting the air. "Well, I'm not letting it go to waste."
"I'll join you," Lily agreed, lifting a glass with a shaking hand.
Everyone sipped slowly, thoughtfully. No one seemed sure what would happen now.
"So Severus knows," Lily mused.
"I'll say," Peter confirmed with a nod. "But Dumbledore swore him to secrecy. He hasn't told anyone."
"That we know of," Sirius corrected darkly. "But he's probably the only student at Hogwarts who could have jinxed that tree last night, much less wanted to. It screams of Dark magic. I'm certain it was him, or at least some Death Eater he knows." And Sirius told her about their discovery of Severus's meeting in Hogsmeade. "If he didn't do it, he probably had one of his Death Eater cronies do it."
Lily's face was dark, inscrutable.
"Besides, where did Filch come from last night? We weren't doing anything wrong," James said crossly.
"Other than sneaking out one of the side windows at dusk, smelling of butterbeer" Peter reminded him. "Why don't we ever just go out the front gates, like normal people?"
James ignored the question. "Snivellus could have set him on us, knowing where we'd be headed."
"I have no doubt who was behind it," Sirius said, peering angrily into the fire. "All of it."
"Well, who can blame him?"
Everyone turned to look at Remus. He studied the faces of his friends and took a swig of firewhiskey. He placed the empty glass on the table.
"I'm able to keep my problem under control, but only just; and Severus knows that almost as well as anyone. I've got to find a way to stop this. I don't know if it's possible, but I've got to try. The Whomping Willow has been breached, and I don't know if I can trust it again. Last night was only more proof of what could happen if anything – anything at all – goes awry." Remus looked meaningfully at Lily and darted his eyes at her neck. She returned his look with one of alarm and shook her head slightly.
"What?" James blurted, sitting forward in his chair.
Lily and Remus stared at one another. As he looked into her eyes, he thought he saw something – and suddenly his mind was full of a vision of he and Lily walking back to Hogwarts hand in hand after his birthday party at the Hog's Head. But then Lily lowered her eyes and it was gone. Tentatively, she removed her silk scarf, unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, and pulled the collar away from her neck. A human-sized bite mark, bruised and angry, shone in the flickering firelight. Peter gasped, and James leapt up; clearly, Sirius hadn't told the other two about her wound.
"Gods, Lily!" James was kneeling at her side in a flash, gingerly touching the mark with his fingertips. Although her brow was furrowed, Lily allowed James's fingers to move over her skin. His hand traveled slowly, soothingly, as if it were trying to calm a spooked horse; and, indeed, while his hand searched the wound, she became still. Lily met Remus's gaze again, and once more a set of confusing images flashed vividly in his mind's eye, first of himself kissing Lily roughly against the tapestry last night, then of Lily dancing with James at last year's Yule dance, his hand pressed gently on her back, leading her confidently in a waltz. But Remus hadn't actually witnessed their dance; he had been outside with Elphaba. What was happening?
Lily turned to face James and the image was gone. Remus shook his head, as if he would shake more images loose from his addled brain. Perhaps it's just fatigue, Remus reflected. He hadn't slept long enough this morning.
"It's not as bad as it looks," Lily said softly to James, a note of embarrassment in her voice.
Remus had never heard her speak so gently to him. James, still on one knee in front of Lily's chair, abruptly embraced her. Watching his friend's profile, Remus thought he saw James's eyes glistening. A surge of jealousy coursed though Remus's body. Unable to watch any longer, he turned away and sank deeper into his chair. Sirius, his head leaning against the chair back, watched Remus carefully until Remus became uncomfortable and turned to face the fire.
"So," Sirius barked. "What do we do about all this?"
No one spoke. James slowly pulled away from Lily and fastened her top blouse button; a pink flush stole across her cheeks as he did so. Then he delicately tied the little scarf around her neck again. He turned to face his friends, and Remus saw a dangerous glint in his eyes.
"What do we do? Revenge of the highest order," James said calmly.
"NO!" Remus and Lily erupted simultaneously.
"Why the hell not?" James demanded, standing beside Lily's chair and glowering at Remus.
"Yeah, why the hell not?" Sirius agreed, snapping his glare toward Lily.
"Because I said so," Lily spat. She stood and whirled to face James, meeting his glare with one of equal threat. "Because Severus is not what this is about."
James inhaled quickly to retort, but Remus interrupted him.
"She's right," Remus intoned quietly. "We escalate, we lose. We have to let it die here. Let him think he's won. Tit for tat, right? We started it, Severus finished it. The end. Let him have his little victory." He took a deep breath and went on. "The only way we – I – can win is to find a cure, an antidote, something. And I have to figure out why all these werewolf attacks are happening, who's behind them. And why did Araminta Drury and Tristan Kimball disappear so soon after they were attacked? I have to start with Greyback. We know from his history that he's got particular ties to Voldemort. Voldemort, in a sense, made him what he is."
"We'll help you," Lily said at once. "You can't do this alone. Not if Voldemort's behind it."
James and Sirius gaped at her. "You shouldn't get more involved in this, Lily," James reasoned. "Remus hurt you. It could have ended very badly. And it's Snivellus's fault. Just imagine if we run into Greyback – "
"But whose fault is it that Snivellus – damn it, Severus! – found out about Remus's condition in the first place?"
James blanched, and Lily brought the argument to a close with a satisfied humph.
Remus suggested that they all meet again Friday night in the Room of Requirement to brainstorm about how to find the Greyback home. There was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up in two weeks, and they could probably escape fairly easily once in town.
The five wandered back to Gryffindor tower together, and Remus managed to linger back with Lily while Sirius and James spoke in hushed tones up ahead, with Peter lurking nearby. This was the first moment Remus had had to speak with Lily today.
"Lily, I'm sorry," he said softly, not wanting their conversation to be overheard.
"Stop apologizing. It's not your fault," she replied, not unkindly. "I'm sorry I avoided you today. I just … I had to try to make sense of all this." She paused. "I'm still making sense of it." She gave him a fleeting look and kept walking, their strides somehow perfectly matched as they strolled through the stone corridors. "I did a lot of reading about werewolves today."
"I can't blame you," Remus said. And you're not the first to avoid me, he thought wistfully.
"I hate that you have to go through that every month. I'm really sorry, Remus," she whispered, a frown darkening her features.
"Thanks," he replied, watching her profile carefully.
"Look at it this way: now I know when you'll need your space," she whispered. A sad smile upturned the corners of her lips.
Remus flushed, unsure how to respond. No matter his feelings, he reminded himself, there could never be a relationship with Lily … even if that was what she was hinting at, which he seriously doubted. His friendship with James was part of it, but now Remus had to admit that it was simply too dangerous for Lily – for anyone – to be with him.
At that moment, James dropped back next to Lily and, Remus saw with a sickening feeling, placed his hand on the small of her back. He quickly looked away and slowed his pace, feeling as if a cold drizzle had frozen his heart inside his chest, every heartbeat causing another crack. He peered out the windows at the dark, star-pricked sky, the innocently waning moon. Every now and then he glanced ahead and watched James and Lily walking together, silent in their thoughts. His hand was still on her back. Remus couldn't bear it; he forced himself to watch Peter's feet instead. As they neared the stairs to Gryffindor tower, Lily delicately inched away from James.
Remus focused his eyes on the toes of his scuffed shoes until the group reached the portrait hole.
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A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Things are about to get very interesting for Remus, if you stay tuned …