Note: If you have 'Shadow of The Day' by 'Linkin Park', listen to it while you read this. This chapter made me cry!
Harry looked into Draco's slate grey eyes which he realized with a sick dawning were currently effulged with pools of love. He was so beautiful, sitting there and waiting for Harry's reply. He'd admitted it, he finally had. Harry's heart beat quickened.
"No." he got himself to yell out. "No, no, no!"
Draco looked confused, though he was still smiling. "What do you mean?" he asked softly.
"No, you don't love me, no, you can't love me!" Harry said in aghast, seizing Draco's shoulders, trying to make his angel understand. Draco grinned bubbly. "Harry, baby, I know what I said, I know you're scared, but I've thought it all through, I'm ready to go to the next level with you."
"No, no, no, no, no." Harry kept repeating, covering his face with his hands.
"Yes. You stole my heart Harry. You've been perfect to me and I want to return the favor. Actually, I think I've been in love with you for a few years now…"
"No, Draco, no." Harry jumped up off the bed. "No."
"Harry, I love you, please, let us go though our problems together."
"NO!" Harry shut his eyes against blinding tears. He had to do it now, or else he'd hold Draco and never let him go. He wasn't going to say he felt the same way. He didn't. Draco would get over him.
Draco blinked up at Harry, who was holding him tightly by the wrists, eyes shut, his face turned away from Draco's. He reached up and traced his fingertips against Harry's scar, brushing back his thick silky hair form his face. There bodies were tightly pressed together and Draco could feel Harry's heart beating quickly. "I can ehlp you take the pain away." he said tenderly, tiptoeing so he could whisper into Harry's ear. "You don't have to go though all of this alone." Then, he reached up and embraced his longed for love.
Harry's eyes shot open and Draco saw something there he'd never seen before. He didn't know what it was but it scared him. "H-Harry?"
Harry began laughing, hard. Looking down at Draco with a disgust that made Draco's stomach hurt. "I really can't do this anymore." He said, his voice hard and mean.
"Do what?"
"Try to take advantage of you. "Harry looked down at Draco with bored discontent.
"What? Harry, I'm not understanding what you're saying."
Harry sighed, showing his obvious want to be somewhere else.
"Advantage? I know it might be a rather big word for you. In your case it means pretending to be your friend or compadre or whatever you want to call it, so I can get close enough to find out secrets about Voldermort. Now I'm sure even you've heard about him."
Draco gave a watery smile. "Ha ha, very funny Harry. I know you'd never do that. You've proved time and time again what wonderful person you are, what a wonderful boyfriend you could be…"
"There you go, being fucking gay again. I got rather tired of that. Sure, I didn't get any information, but I really couldn't stand being around you for much longer. It was fun at first, laughing behind your back as you ran around sniveling, but God, you cry more that a colic baby."
"Harry, stop, it's not funny anymore." Draco said, his smile fading completely. I mean I just told you how I feel, are you putting me to the test or something?"
Harry rolled his eyes, mostly to get the tears there to disappear. But of course Draco didn't know that. Draco was trembling so hard, he knew because he was still holding his
wrists.
"You've passed the test of stupidity with flying colors." Harry drawled.
'Don't cry, please don't cry.'
Draco pulled his wrists forcefully away from Harry and stepped back. "No, no, this isn't real." He whispered. "Not again, no."
He sank to the floor, covering his face and curling himself up tightly. It was all Harry could do to prevent himself from reaching out to the other boy. "Harry, you wouldn't do this to me, would you? You're not that kind of person."
Then his head snapped up and he grinned. "Yes that's it! This isn't you. You're under the imperious!"
Harry's stomach clenched with fear. If Draco thought he was under the imperious, he would still love him. "Shove off Malfoy, you wish. Didn't you think it was just a bit fishy how desperately I wanted this whole thing to start? Surly you've figured out there had to be ulterior motives."
Draco's eyes grew unfocused. Then he covered his face again, silent with tears for a while. Then he stood up and strode to Harry, though he was still in tears. "You bastard. You sick, sick bastard! I hate you. How could you do this even to your worst enemy! I can't even begin to fathom what kind of monster you'd have to be to even think about doing this."
"The crucio curse Harry! You made me suffer that for you. How could you be such a good actor! Wanting to protect me, wanting to be there for me!" here Draco gave a dry sobbing laugh. "And I ran crying to you. I'm such a fucking idiot."
Reaching into his pocket with trembling fingers he pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry's chest. "You need to feel the hurt like me. You deserve to die!!"
'Yes sweetheart, kill me please. I should die for you, yes.'
Draco stood there, staring into Harry's eyes for a long time, and then he pulled away, blinded by his tears. "I can't do it." He whispered. "I can't hurt you. You're eyes…too many memories."
Harry sneered. "Your brain is large enough to hold memories Malfoy?"
"SHUT UP! FUCK YOU! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH. YOU CANT HURT ME ANYMORE, SO DON'T TRY!" Draco screamed.
"I can't believe it. I loved you Harry. I was ready to give everything to you. Everything! Every part of me. Well thanks for at least sparing me."
Harry couldn't say anything, his heart was breaking.
Draco wiped his face. "Well I'm not crying over you…not in front of you anyways. And I'm not running either. Just letting you know, you lost a lot Harry. You lost what could've been a lot of happiness. Now you'll just rot in hell, and good riddance."
Draco walked to the door and pushed it open, his head held tall, but Harry could hear the noise of him crying before the door even shut behind him.
He stared at the wall for a long time, unable to move. Then he crawled unto the bed and clutched the nearest pillow to his chest, wrapping himself around it, tears streaming down his cheeks into it, unknowing to the fact that Draco was doing the same thing. Draco was right. He'd just lost what could've been a lot of happiness. He'd just lost everything. He'd lost Draco. And that had been his everything.
'Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbyes the only way
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you'
-.- So sad. Damn. Guys wallow and cry with me, cuz I cried like shit! Especially cuz I was listening to 'Shadow of the Day', which btw are where the lyrics at the end come from. Guys, don't slaughter me! I know you didn't want them to break up but the story's not nearly over! At LEAST 5 more chapters. I luv happy endings. Stick with me and just wait. This is after all a Harry/Draco! thanks 4 the reviews guys. So many! LingLing20009, Azrulai(thanks 4 adding me to ur fav list!), YaoiFanGirl101(friends.), and of course Enigmus, MalfoysOnlyChemo and Njferrel, who added me to there favorites. i luv u guys so much. kisses 4 everyone! whether u want em or not muhhahahahaha...sorry.
Oh and im writing a harry/draco oneshot called 'the perfume counter'. Look out for it!