Here's the next chapter, thanks to all who reviewed! Keep em' coming, guys! This chapter is the beginning of the intense, addicting, hot drama that is CB, as well as some fluff with DS. Hope you'll like it!
Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl, Chuck Bass would be all mine and we'd never leave the bedroom. Enough said.
The Music in Me: Chapter 2
Serena Van Der Woodsen hadn't had a moment of crisis lately, and she had been thankful for that. Ever since she had begun dating Dan Humphrey, things had been so perfect…with him, at least. Now, everything was shot to hell in the blink of an eye.
She had been so happy when Dan told her that he was starting a band. Serena was so excited for him that she had insisted on helping. Whatever Dan did amazed her. He was the artist, the man who wasn't afraid to try new things. She was overjoyed that he was experimenting with music, and wanted to be there for him like he had always been there for her.
That was before Dan told her the people that he had chosen to be in his band.
They had been on a lunch date on a sunny afternoon. Dan had wanted to take Serena to Little Italy, and Serena had gladly agreed. She hadn't been there in such a long time, and she was thrilled to be going with Dan. But when they sat down for lunch at a small restaurant and Dan told her the names of his other band members, Serena was out of there before Dan could say "gelato."
Why did he have to pick them?! Out of all the men in New York, out of all the people that came to the tryouts, why did her boyfriend have to choose the three men she had the most drama with throughout her whole life?! She just didn't understand it. She especially didn't want to go to a concert and see her ex-lover, her perverted step-brother-to-be, and her one night stand up on stage.
Serena had been surprised at the three boys as well. She didn't know Chuck could sing or that Carter played drums or that Nate…what Nate even did she couldn't remember. After their little fling that almost cost Serena her best friend and her boyfriend, she had tried to drown Nate out of her thoughts as much as possible.
The whole thing bothered Serena so much. It occupied her mind lately, even when she didn't want it to.
"S, what's wrong? You haven't touched your salad." Serena shook her head slightly, coming out of her daze. She looked around as if she had forgotten where she was, then turned to her best friend Blair Waldorf, who had asked the question.
"Sorry B, I'm a little out of it," Serena replied. She picked up the fork next to her plate and began playing with the lettuce leafs on her plate. Blair looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"I'll say you're out of it. You haven't started smoking pot again, have you?" Blair asked. Serena shook her head slightly, her eyes not moving from her plate. "Is it your mom and Bart? That would make me really depressed." Serena sighed. The last thing she wanted to think about was her mom and Chuck's dad getting married at this moment. As if she didn't have enough to deal with.
"No, it's…" Serena looked up at Blair, who hung onto her every word. "It's Dan." Blair's eyes immediately lost their fascination with Serena's words. She looked down at her lap glumly.
"For a minute, I thought it was something important." Blair took a sip of her water before asking, "So what has old cabbage patch done now? Wrote you a bad poem?" Serena smiled a little at the corners of her mouth. The smile immediately faded.
"Do you remember Dan's band?" Blair chewed the vegetables in her mouth and looked baffled. "You went to try out?" Serena asked.
"Oh yeah. God S, don't expect me to remember everything."
"Well…he chose his band members. And no one else knows it but me."
"Who?" Blair asked nonchalantly. She looked down again, not caring. Serena sighed and crossed her arms. This wasn't going to be easy to hear.
"Nate."
"Nate!" Blair immediately jolted upright at the words. "Why wouldn't Nate tell me he was trying out for cabbage patch's band?! And that he made it?!" They were back together, after all. They weren't supposed to be keeping secrets from one another.
"It gets worse," Serena said. Blair looked at her best friend, interested in the conversation again.
"Carter."
"Carter Baizen?"
"Yep."
"He's still hanging around here?"
"Yep."
"I don't see anything wrong with that." Serena gave Blair a hardened look, and Blair nodded slowly, remembering Serena and Carter's history. "Who's the third member?" Serena bit her lip.
"Chuck."
Blair dropped the fork she was holding. Her hand shook and her eyes widened like those of a fish. That was probably the last name she wanted to hear. Serena shook her head, still in disbelief herself. She leaned forward and whispered, in case anyone was listening.
"I was so upset with Dan, I haven't spoken to him in three days. It's killing me B, I don't know what to do. I want to support Dan, but I'm unsure if things will work out. You know that something bad is going to happen when you put Nate, Chuck, and Carter in the same room."
Blair took a deep breath, still shocked from hearing Chuck's name. "Dan doesn't know about what happened with Carter and I, and Nate doesn't know about you and Chuck--"
"Please. Don't say anymore." Blair said, raising her hand with an open palm. She looked as pale as if she had seen a ghost. Serena sighed.
"I feel bad, because Dan was really excited. But how can they possibly get along? I thought Dan hated all of those guys. And what does it mean for me, you know? Like what happens if they do somehow work together and get big and stuff?"
"Simple. They won't." Blair looked at Serena with eyes as serious as death. There was a silence, when suddenly Serena's phone rang. She reached into her purse and pulled it out.
"Hello?"
"Serena, it's Dan."
"Hi Dan." She figured it was about time she picked up. On the other end of the line, Dan sighed nervously.
"Look, I know that you weren't expecting me to say those names. I know you and Nate have a history, and Chuck's just…well, Chuck's just Chuck. But I have a good feeling, Serena. I did think about you before I chose them, and something told me that everything would be alright. I know it will be hard for you to come and support me with them being there, but I hope you'll see past that." He sighed. "I don't want to lose you over this, Serena. If it really is too much for you to handle, I can get new members. I'm sure there are some talented people in Brooklyn."
Serena paused for a second. Dan sounded so confident, so sure that he made the right decision. Could she really get over it and trust his feeling?
"I don't want to lose you either, Dan. I love you. If this is what you want to do, then I'm not going to stop you." Dan smiled brightly on the other end of the line.
"You're the best," he said. Serena smiled.
"That's why I date you," she replied. "So when is your first meeting?"
"I told the guys to meet Thursday after school in the St. Jude's music room. We have our chorus classes there. There are always instruments in that room, not that we'll be need them just yet."
"I'll come."
"You don't have to."
"I want to! Blair will come too. She'll probably want to support Nate." Blair rolled her eyes hearing this. So did Dan.
"Alright then, I guess I'll see you two on Thursday," Dan said with a grin to cloak his Blair-hatred.
"Great! Love you!"
"Love you too."
Serena hung up with a smile, hoping that Dan was right. Blair sighed.
"You are the only person I know who could be totally upset with your boyfriend one minute and completely alright the next."
"Hey, you're one to talk," Serena said with a joking smile. "By the way, who were those flowers on your doorstep from? Nate?"
"S, you really need to stop reading Gossip Girl."
"Like you don't?" Serena asked. Blair sighed.
"They weren't from Nate. They were just for one of my mom's get-togethers. Nate hasn't sent me flowers in forever." Blair looked uneasy. "I'm worried now, S." Serena knew what her friend was thinking about.
"Blair, Chuck's not going to tell Nate. He would've done so already. His blackmailing you didn't work, obviously. He won't try anything else." Blair looked up at her with nervous eyes.
"He's Chuck Bass. He'll think of something."
"Since when are you scared of him?" Serena asked. Blair pondered for a moment, then looked more confident.
"You're right. I won't worry about it anymore."
Blair could lie to Serena, but she couldn't lie to herself.
Dan sighed and looked at his watch. Three thirty. They were all supposed to be in the music room by now. Maybe putting Nate and Chuck in his band hadn't been such a good idea after all.
A playing of "Mozart's Requiem" on the piano woke him from his thoughts. He turned from the podium at where he was standing and saw Carter playing the ivories.
"You play piano too?" Dan asked. Carter stopped playing, but didn't look at Dan.
"Just a little," he said. He began to tap two keys with his middle and index fingers on his right hand. "We won't need it anyway."
"No, we won't." Dan rested his chin on a knuckled fist and listened to the two high-noted keys play over and over again.
"So where exactly are you from?" Carter suddenly asked. Dan looked at him, and Carter stopped playing the piano. He was dressed in a classy grey suit and brown shoes.
"Brooklyn," Dan said. "How about you?"
"I used to live up here. Then after I graduated I moved on and saw the world."
"What was it like?" Dan asked, running a finger along the podium board. Carter's moss green eyes took on a sarcastic glaze.
"Lies, cheating, selfishness…just like home." He smirked. "Though I shouldn't be complaining." Dan raised an eyebrow. Carter let out a small laugh. "You seem like a well-rounded kind of guy, Dan. I'm not, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I've had my scandalous moments." He continued to smirk and his eyes shone as if it was something to be proud of. "But you have nothing to worry about, Dan. You don't have a cent. Plus you did me a favor by letting me in your little group."
Dan didn't know whether to thank him or to be insulted. It was only day one, and Carter was already confusing him. Dan didn't think he posed a threat to him directly, but he had a feeling that Carter was capable of bad things.
Suddenly the door flew open, and the gloomy music room was suddenly colored by a flash of red and yellow.
"I'm here, bitches!" Chuck exclaimed in a purposely loud and annoying voice. Nate trailed behind him and closed the door.
"Finally! What took you so long?!" Dan asked, more than a little annoyed. Chuck sat in one of the chorus chairs and put his feet up on the desk. He took off his navy blue uniform jacket and threw it behind the chair, leaving him in the yellow St. Jude's dress shirt.
"Don't get your tongue tied, poet Humphrey," Chuck said.
"Well, where were you?!" Dan asked. Chuck smiled a little, pleased at seeing Dan so upset. His smile suddenly became a frown.
"Mr. Smith wanted to have a little 'conference' with me." Chuck raised his fingers into quote signs when he said conference. He then made his voice nasally in an attempt to mimic his chorus teacher. "'No smoking in my class!' I'll smoke where I want, damn it." Chuck directed his left thumb towards Nate. "Nathaniel came with." Dan sighed.
"Alright, let's just get this going," he said.
"Great," Chuck said, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. "I'll need therapy for this."
"Charles Bass! I never thought I'd see you here." Chuck's eyes formed into a scowl as he saw the man in the grey suit sitting on the piano bench. Nate saw him too and his eyes widened.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Chuck asked loathingly. Carter smirked again. Dan looked confused.
"You two know each other?" Dan asked. Chuck laughed as he lit his cigarette, unfazed by Carter's presence.
"Know him? This guy taught me everything I know. Nate too," Chuck said. Dan looked at Carter with a newfound disrespect. Carter didn't seem the least bit displeased. Chuck took a casual puff of his cigarette and shot Carter a mock smile. "So how's my baseball doing, Carter? Did you hit yourself with it yet?"
"Wait, what?" Dan asked. Carter kept on smirking, not replying.
"Chuck, don't--" Nate started. But it was too late to stop a Bass remark once the opportunity had presented itself.
"Well, if you did, I wonder if it hurt as much as when the nurse dropped you on your head when you were born," Chuck said with a proud grin. Carter's smile disappeared and his brow lowered, upset now.
"You shouldn't talk, Bass. You're a real piece of work yourself. And your father's a louse who should never have entered the business world," Carter snapped.
"Thank you for telling me something that I am already aware of. You always were one to state the obvious, Baizen," Chuck said with a cocky tone in his voice. He blew out some smoke before adding, "Oh, and just to fill you in, the sluts all say I'm better than you ever were."
Carter stood up violently, ready to start a fight. Nate stood in front of him, and Carter shoved him out of the way.
"Your friend needs to learn a few things, Archibald!" Carter called out as he approached his dark-haired prey. Chuck grinned as he stood up.
"On the contrary Baizen, you didn't learn enough. At least, that's what the sluts told me."
Carter was about to throw a punch but Nate grabbed his arm and pulled it back, causing Carter to let out a yelp. Nate let go as soon as Carter calmed down.
"Knock it off! Whatever happened in the past is done," Nate stated, always the peacemaker. He turned to Dan. "Dan, let's start this. What's on the agenda?" Dan was too busy staring at them with his mouth open in shock that it took a few minutes to process Nate's words. He shook himself out of it.
"Um, well…" He sighed. This was not off to a good start. "Alright, everyone sit down and relax." Carter sat on the other side of the room, as far away from Chuck and Nate as possible. "I guess there's no need for introduction. I think we all know each other here."
"Unfortunately," Chuck muttered under his breath. Dan cleared his throat.
"The first two things we need are a band name and a song. Any ideas for a name?" Dan asked.
"I don't know," Nate said.
"The Bass-Archibald Experience featuring Two Losers?" Chuck offered. Carter glared at him from across the room. Chuck was too busy wrapping the end of his scarf in between his fingers to notice. Dan looked at Carter.
"Any ideas?" Dan asked. Carter pondered for a minute.
"I say we rip off of some other rock band's name," he suggested.
"How about 'The Bass Underground?'" Chuck said. No one bothered to reply.
"Hey, do you know that song by Jefferson Airplane, 'Go Ask Alice?'" Nate asked. The guys nodded. "What if we do, 'Go Ask Dan?'"
"I like it," Carter said.
"No, it's not bad enough," Dan said.
"Thank you! Finally, Humphrey's talking sense," Chuck said. Suddenly, a wry smile formed at the corners of Chuck's mouth. He was thinking of one person, and it had given him an idea. "What about Secret Addictions?"
"What about them?" Dan asked. Chuck laughed so hard he coughed. Nate, Carter, and Dan looked at him like he was insane.
"I meant for a name, dumb-ass. Secret Addictions can be the band name," Chuck said. He smiled evilly. "Because it represents all of us. There's Nate's father's secret addiction…" Nate blushed, embarrassed. "There's Carter, Lord knows what crap he's done from watching eyes…" Carter smirked. "And then there's Dan's addiction, my step-sister-to-be."
"But that's not a secret," Dan said. Chuck rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. It's an addiction nonetheless." They were quiet for a few moments before Dan nodded.
"I like it. We'll use it for now unless we can come up with something better," Dan stated.
"Yeah, it's good. Except that I don't want to admit to the world that my dad's a marijuana addict," Nate said.
"Nathaniel, you'll be fine," Chuck said. Carter leaned over his desk and looked at the two of them.
"What about you, Chuck?" Carter asked. Chuck tapped the end of his cigarette on the desk, and the grey ashes fell to the floor.
"What about me?" Chuck asked coolly.
"What's your secret addiction?" Carter asked.
Suddenly the doors of the room flew open and Blair Waldorf stood in the walkway.
"Serena, they're in here!" Blair called out, looking over her shoulder. She turned back and faced the boys in the room. Her eyes moved directly to Chuck, whose eyes examined her up and down and whose mouth twisted into a knowing smirk. Blair turned away from his gaze, telling herself not to worry about him. Chuck Bass was a fling of the past--and he would stay that way.
Blair walked angrily over to Nate, brushing by her ex-lover.
"Nate, why didn't you answer your phone?! Serena and I were trying to call you!"
"You were?" Nate asked, dumbstruck.
"Well yeah, we were running late, and then St. Jude's has like five different music rooms we had to search for," Blair said angrily. She had forgiven him for not telling her about the band, but now he had made her upset again. Nate pulled his cell out of his pocket and checked his messages.
"Sorry Blair, I must have turned it to silent," Nate said.
"Silence…what a powerful thing," Chuck whispered. Blair stood in between him and Nate, and heard him. Nate didn't. Blair kept her poise, unflinching at Chuck's words.
"You're forgiven, Nate," she said briskly. She wanted to sit down next to him, but she didn't want to be near Chuck. She was glad when Serena entered the room.
"Dan! Hey!" Serena exclaimed, running with open arms to her beau. Dan smiled and embraced her.
"Thanks for coming," Dan said happily.
"Wouldn't miss it. How's everything going?" Serena asked.
"Good, so far. We already have a band name," Dan said.
"Ooh, what's the name?"
"Secret Addictions," Chuck answered for him. Blair took in a breath, expecting him to look over at her and give her a cocky smile. He didn't. He always did the opposite of what she expected him to do.
"We're going to try to work on a song," Dan said to Serena.
"Sounds great!" Serena said.
"Come on S, let's sit down," Blair said. Serena left Dan's arms and began to walk towards Nate. Blair stopped her. "It's okay, we can sit closer to Dan."
"But B, you always sit next to Nate," Serena said. Blair shrugged.
"Well, that's exactly it. I always sit next to Nate. I'll let you sit by your boyfriend for a change." Blair turned to Nate and gave him a sweet smile. "You don't mind, right Natie?" Nate smiled.
"Of course not," he said. Chuck felt like throwing up at hearing Nate's sugary sweet nickname. He rolled his eyes, not caring who was looking in his direction. Serena and Blair took two seats right before Dan's podium. With all the separating, Dan felt like he was at a political talk rather than a band meeting.
"Next up is a song. I've been working on something, and Nate presented me with an idea," Dan said. Nate smiled and nodded proudly. Dan pulled out some sheets from off of the podium.
"I made some copies of my two songs and Nate's song, titled 'Mistakes.' You all can take a look and decide if we should do these or not." Dan passed out three sheets to Chuck, Nate, and Carter. He came and sat down between Blair and Serena and shared his copies with them. As they read, everyone but Carter noticed Nate's song was about how he slept with Serena. Serena frowned at that one.
"I like these," Carter put in, "especially the one about the club." Dan had gotten inspiration for that song the night he and Serena saved Jenny from Chuck. The other was about a band, inspired by his father.
"Nathaniel, your song is too wimpy. This is a rock band. We're supposed to be writing songs about drugs and sex, not past mistakes," Chuck said as he tossed the papers down on his desk.
"No, we can do some sensitive songs. I actually like it," Dan said. Serena grimaced. So did Chuck.
"Fine, be wusses. But I do like the other two even if Humphrey did write them," Chuck stated. Dan smiled at the positive feedback from everyone.
"Like you could write better, Chuck," Blair snidely commented. Chuck's brow lowered.
"Maybe you should just keep your thoughts to yourself, Waldorf."
"You make a better song subject then a writer. I swear that 'You're So Vain' was written about you," Blair said. Serena laughed, and Dan, Nate and Carter tried to suppress their laughter. Chuck glowered angrily at Blair, hating the sudden caustic remarks.
"You're…so vain…" Serena began to sing, pointing at Chuck. "You probably think this song is about you…"
"You're--a--whore…" Chuck sang the next part of the chorus. While everyone looked at him in surprise and outrage, nobody noticed that he was looking at Blair when he sang that and not Serena. Dan stood up and walked toward him angrily.
"You'll be sorry you said that, you son of a bitch!" Dan exclaimed. Nate and Serena went on each side of Dan, trying to stop him. Carter watched in amusement, and Chuck looked at Blair with cold eyes. Blair looked down at her hands in her lap, ignoring him.
"Dan, we talk to each other like this all the time. Think nothing of it," Serena said.
"You're a bastard!" Dan yelled at Chuck, ignoring Serena. Chuck closed his eyes and shrugged. He had been called worse.
"I'm so sick of this!" Nate yelled. Everyone stopped doing what they were doing and looked at him in shock. They had never heard Nate scream before. Nate looked at them all with angry eyes. "Is this all we're going to do?! Just sit here and pick fights and call each other names?! What are we, four?!" They all watched him in silence, and Dan lowered his arms. Nate sighed. "If that's all we're going to do, then why are we all here?! I'm so tired of this constant drama."
"Like you don't bring it upon yourself sometimes?" Chuck asked.
"Let it go, Bass," Carter said with a sigh.
"Nate's right. Let's stop this and begin with a clean slate. We'll hold nothing against each other from now on. Agreed?" Dan asked.
"Agreed," everyone seemed to answer at once, some more begrudged than others. It was silent for a few minutes, then suddenly Chuck leaned against the wall and began to say something very softly. It sounded like it was set to a beat.
"And he walked to Victrola with a smile on his face, a wad of cash in his pants…"
They all looked at him and listened carefully. Blair watched him closely, enthralled as the words flowed from his mouth. She had never heard him sing before.
"Came home with five, woke up with nine, and he poured himself another glass." Chuck stopped and smiled as he saw their shocked faces. "I took Waldorf's suggestion, about the song subject thing."
"That was actually pretty good," Dan said. He turned around and ran to the podium to get paper. Then he came back and sat at a desk. Everyone crowded around him, even Carter. "Let's expand on that."
It was a week later, a Friday. Dan was sitting and having lunch when Nate walked over to him.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Nate asked. Dan nodded, a bite of ham sandwich in his mouth.
"Yeah, sure," he said after he swallowed. Nate took a seat. "You're coming after school today, right?"
"Yeah. I'm glad the last meeting went okay…after those arguments at least," Nate said. He suddenly smiled. "I'm taking voice lessons down at a music store close to my house. I figured I could always learn more."
"I'm glad you're into it." Dan paused for a minute, then leaned in to whisper. He despised Gossip Girl and didn't want her hearing over his band-related conversations. According to Serena, she hadn't found out the members yet. Dan didn't plan on letting anyone know until their first gig. "So what's the story with Carter? I don't want to go back to the topic, but--"
"No, that's fine. You deserve to know." Nate folded his hands and tried to seem like he was speaking casually. "Carter used to be a playboy and drug addict. I guess you could say he was a role model for Chuck and me, except that now I think I've learned differently."
"He said he went traveling," Dan said.
"Yeah, he went all over the world after graduation, and he came back saying that he was a changed person." Nate's eyes suddenly turned cold. "He told me he had changed. He said that he had discovered more important things in life. I was stupid to believe him."
"Why, what happened?" Dan asked. Nate sighed.
"He tried to rob money from me in a poker game." Dan looked shocked, surprised Nate would fall for such an act. "I was having a conscience debate during this time, and I fell for his act. Thank God that Chuck showed up."
"Chuck helped you?" Dan asked. Nate nodded.
"Carter stole from Chuck's apartment. He took a baseball that belonged to Babe Ruth and some other things. Chuck showed up right before Carter and his goons were going to pummel the crap out of me. He told Carter he could keep whatever he stole if he let me go."
"Wow," Dan said. He had never known Chuck was so loyal. Knowing that he helped Nate made Dan think Chuck was a good person…for about two seconds.
"Yeah. But I came over to give you something," Nate said. He handed a piece of paper to Dan. "It's another song I was thinking about." The title was called "Unobtainable." Dan paged through it and immediately recognized that it was another Serena and Blair song. Dan remembered seeing (out of his peripheral vision) Serena grimacing as she read Nate's last song. Humiliating her was the last thing he wanted to do.
"It's good, Nate. But can I ask you a favor?" Dan asked.
"Sure," Nate said.
"Can we please try to stray from the 'sleeping with Serena' kind of songs? I mean, it might be embarrassing for Serena if the song becomes famous and we're asked to explain the meaning behind it all." Nate's eyes became like those of a sorry puppy dog.
"Oh, I didn't think of it that way."
"It might be bad memories for your girlfriend, too," Dan reminded him. Nate stood up.
"Tell Serena I'm sorry," he said. "I can even take the song back."
"Well, I like some of the things in this song. How about I alter it to take the Serena stuff out?" Dan asked. Nate smiled widely.
"That's fine." He bent down and picked up his books off the table. "I'll see you after school." Then he turned and left, his bright blonde hair making him stand out against the other dark-haired boys in navy blue coats and beige pants. Dan smiled, realizing that underneath the silent Nate Archibald there was a good person. Incredibly naïve, maybe, but good nonetheless.
Chuck Bass sat down in the leather seat of his limousine and sighed heavily. He looked out at the glistening lights of New York City and the magnificent colors reflected in his eyes.
"Where to, Mr. Bass?" called out his limo driver.
"The Palace," Chuck said. The glass that divided the front seats from the back rolled up, leaving Chuck to his own thoughts. The ride started smoothly before one of the back tires hit a pothole in the road. Chuck didn't notice.
He had been at one of his favorite fancy clubs, one of his favorite places to be on a Friday night. Or, it used to be. Chuck walked into the club not his usual excited self. He knew he looked good, too. He had worn the sharp red suit that he had purchased for the masquerade party about three months back, complete with a dress shirt as black as his hair and a red tie. He had bought new cologne too, since he had knocked over his old bottle thanks to a nosy Dan Humphrey.
He should have been having a blast. He should have had so much more to drink. He should have had from three to six girls with him in the back seat with him.
But Chuck was alone. He had been alone for a while, and it had begun to bother him too much. He had thought that going out for a night would help him forget his troubles, like it had done numerous times in the past. It hadn't. No amount of booze could stop his mind from wandering. No busty slut that approached him as she whispered naughty words could make him forget the reason why he was there in the first place. For the first time in history, Chuck Bass had left a club without a hangover and without a woman. And it sickened him.
He didn't want to think about Blair Waldorf so much. She wasn't supposed to do this to him--no woman was supposed to do this to him. Somehow she had managed to press herself firmly into his memory, so much that everyone else could not hold a candle to her.
Chuck thought about Blair during the day. She was his secret addiction, and secret barely covered it. Then he would see her making out with Nathaniel as he passed by an outside entrance, and he would remember that she wasn't his and never would be.
Chuck had tried so hard to keep her to himself. He had gone completely out of character and bought her a necklace for her birthday when Nate hadn't even bothered to show up. He had ruined her cotillion just so that she wouldn't ever want to be with Nate again. That had backfired so terribly that it made his head spin. When Blair ran back to Nate, he had tried to use a traditional Bass blackmail, but even that couldn't keep her from wanting her prince charming.
Chuck didn't understand what was so damned special about Nathaniel, especially when he kept letting Blair down. Chuck figured that if Blair were with him, she would be afraid that he would let her down. But after all the times that Nate had done so, why wouldn't she take a chance on someone else? Especially when she could always count on him?
Chuck laid his head back against the seat and sighed. He just had to face it. She didn't want him. She would rather have the man who talked sweet and didn't want her than the man who was a little rough yet wanted her more than anything. He would do anything for her, yet she'd rather have the man who cheated on her with her best friend.
Chuck laughed a little at himself. Since when would he do anything for a girl? He realized that something in his brain must have snapped.
Just then, he saw the street that he took to school every morning approaching. Chuck raised an eyebrow, thinking about Dan's band. He hated to admit it, but it had been going pretty well. When the group met the day before, they had rehearsed their old songs and started Nate's new one. Chuck frowned at the thought of Nate, but then suddenly had a thought. He had nothing else going on that night, and he needed something to take his mind off of the only woman who had ever broken his heart.
Chuck pressed a button and the glass rolled down.
"Wait, turn down this street and go to St. Jude's." The driver turned back and quizzically looked at him. Chuck smiled. "Yeah, I'm going to school on a Friday night."
Soon the driver had arrived, and Chuck hopped out. The Constance Billard and St. Jude schools looked so dark and eerie at night. They also had the worst security in the face of the planet. Chuck slipped in through the gates and found an open window without a problem. He reflected on how easy it had been for him and everyone else to sneak into the school's pool that one night--with bottles of alcohol.
Chuck walked slowly down the halls of St. Jude's, his footsteps seeming to echo off the walls. It was so dark and quiet that Chuck barely recognized the place. Everything looked different at night, so concealed. He finally found the music room where he and the others had practiced and went inside.
Chuck flipped a switch and a dim light was casted upon the room. He walked toward a large brown shelf, positioned behind the grand piano and the podium. Chuck bent down and found a book of old music projects from a graduated class. He flipped to page nine and found copies of the band's songs. Dan always kept extra copies in there in case someone lost theirs. No one ever bothered to look in the old project folder.
Chuck grabbed a copy of Nate's new song and walked over to the podium. He peered at the empty seats, feeling stupid all of a sudden. Then he looked down at the title of the song. Chuck cleared his throat and looked at the first verse, noticing Dan's photocopied notes scribbled on the side. "Soft rock," it read. Then Chuck thought back to what he sang the day before.
"How could I believe…that this was for real…when there's others to long for…other moments to steal…"
"How can I grasp the…things that I've dreamed…when there are other worries…when nothing was as it seemed…"
Chuck smiled. The song was so cheesy, so Nate thinking about Serena. It was very Nate also in the way that it was too sensitive for Chuck's liking. Yet oddly enough, something about it reminded Chuck of himself and what he had been thinking lately.
"Unobtainable…no matter how much I try…unobtainable…no matter how much I lie…everything's impossible…and everything is wrong…unobtainable…and that's what I long."
Chuck had suggested putting "long for" as the words, which technically would have made more sense, but then it wouldn't have rhymed. Chuck smiled at the memory.
His thoughts were interrupted with a crash.
Chuck made a sudden turn and saw a shocked Blair Waldorf standing near a desk.
"I need to stop coming to this school after hours," Chuck sighed, turning away from her doe-eyed gaze. He began talking to himself. "Every time I do it gets me a heart attack. It's like the whole world has nothing else to do but follow me around." He felt Blair's eyes on him, and he turned to face her with a cold stare. "What do you want?" he sneered. Blair's eyes went from shocked to angered.
"I came because I left something here yesterday afternoon and I couldn't find it this morning. I figured it was here."
"So you show up at ten thirty at night to come get it?" Chuck asked, turning away from the podium and staring her down. Blair's voice rose to an annoyed tone.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I was gone all day to one of my mother's social gatherings. Maybe you'd understand if your asshole father was ever home and asked you to help him with something." Chuck grinned.
"I love it when you're feisty." Blair rolled her eyes.
"You disgust me." She bent down and picked up the chair she had knocked over and placed it back on the desk. Blair then began looking around on the floor for the thing she had lost. Chuck smirked.
"So you're back with him again, hunh? Even when he leaves you alone on your birthday or at Christmas? And even though he doesn't even bother to tell you things?" Blair looked up, her face flushed with anger. She had successfully avoided Chuck on a personal level for two weeks. Running into him alone was the last thing she needed.
Especially when he had been on her mind ever since she had kissed Nate and promised him that she loved him. Especially when she kept remembering back to their nights and makeout sessions together and how he had made her feel. Especially when he was standing right in front of her in a dimly lit room, pinning her with his eyes and looking so damn hot that she had to turn her head away just to contain herself. She loved him in red, though she would never tell him so.
"You'll never get it, will you Chuck? I love Nate. You can try all you want to dissuade me, but he will always be better than you." Her heart broke as she said it. Chuck's face brightened with cocky attitude, and Blair knew what was coming.
"Better? Yeah, he really is. I'll bet he was the greatest in bed, too." Blair stiffened, and Chuck's mouth formed into an evil smile. "You can tell yourself that but you know it's a lie."
"You don't know anything!" Blair exclaimed. She wasn't going to let him get the best of her.
"I know everything." Chuck briskly walked over to her and grabbed both of her arms before she could run. He bent down and whispered slowly in her ear before she could resist. "I know that look you give him is not the same as when you look at me. I know that when you walk in here on Thursdays you look at me first. I know that Nate can't ever compare no matter how much you wish he could."
"Let me go!" Blair exclaimed, but she didn't put up much of a fight. Chuck laughed in his throat and pulled back to look straight into her eyes. Blair felt her heart beating faster and faster by the minute.
"But I know something else. I know that you'll never let him go, because you're a fool, hanging onto something that can never be. I know because I'm doing the same thing."
Then he pulled her even closer to him and hungrily thrust his lips onto hers. Blair kissed back, diving into what he offered. Her blood rushed and she put her arms around his neck, bringing him more into her. She had what she had been missing and craving for so long.
Chuck's hands moved from her upper back down to her ass, and she grabbed tightly to his shoulders. Blair smelt a new kind of cologne on him, and suddenly her mind filled with images of the things she had been longing to do with him--and to him. They parted their lips for a moment and Blair began to remove Chuck's red suit coat.
That was when Chuck suddenly stepped back. Blair's eyes widened.
"You made your choice," Chuck said coolly. He turned and walked back towards the podium. Blair breathed heavily, unbelieving.
"What?! You can't do that to me!" Blair exclaimed angrily. Chuck turned and stared right back at her, his gaze burning her inside.
"You mean leaving you helpless after you got all hopeful and excited? Well, you didn't seem to have a problem doing it to me," Chuck snapped. Blair didn't respond. They stood staring at one another for a moment, the tension still there. Blair felt guilty tears welling up in her eyes. She looked down so that Chuck wouldn't see.
"You're right. I guess I didn't."
Chuck's cold facial expression turned slightly soft. Blair looked back up at him, the trace of all tears gone.
"You sounded great," she said. "I never knew you could sing." Chuck knew it was pointless chatter to relieve tension, but he let it go.
"Me neither." He looked down at his feet and sighed calmly. "What did you lose?"
"My checkbook."
"That's not good."
"Yeah, I know." Blair looked back at him and tried to muster up a friendly smile. "Maybe the lost and found has it."
"Maybe," Chuck replied, still not looking at her. Blair frowned, knowing her attempts to get out of the awkward state would be futile. She looked at him, her eyes pleading for him to look over.
"Chuck, what happened to us? How did it come to this?"
"Nathaniel broke up with you, you came to me, you've always wanted Nathaniel and I've always been the backup. What was, is now, and ever shall be." Chuck's voice was bitter, and he continued. "I was always the one telling you it would be okay. I was always the one telling him why you were angry. I was the one who made myself sick thinking about you."
Blair's eyes widened, confused. Chuck looked up at her like she wanted, except his eyes looked very hurt. She had never seen him look so broken before.
"Yeah that's right. I thought about it so much that I finally couldn't take it anymore."
"You made yourself sick?!" Blair asked, thinking about her problem.
"Not on my own will, no. But sick nonetheless." Chuck glared, angry again. "I hated myself for it, getting all upset over a girl. I still hate myself for it." Blair couldn't believe what she was hearing, and that Chuck was admitting it. Chuck couldn't believe it either.
"Are you still sick over it?" Blair asked.
"Absolutely not. I took control. You forget who you're talking to. Oh wait." He laid a finger on his chin, sarcastic as ever. "Scratch that. It's obvious that you can forget. Very easily, in fact."
"You don't know that," Blair said softly, the tears welling up in her eyes again. Chuck suddenly let out a laugh.
"Don't pull that crap, Waldorf. At least dignify yourself somewhat and don't pretend like you have thought or cared about me."
"You're so cocky that you can't even think that I might be feeling the same way you've been feeling?!" Blair asked angrily. She walked down to him and got right in his face. "I've woken up in the middle of the night after having dreams of the night you saw me and Nate on the stairs! I see you watching me at school and I feel like I could cry! I remember the way you kissed me when he kisses me and I just want to forget it all!"
She began sobbing, and Chuck immediately put his arms around her and held her. Blair's body shook with her sobs and Chuck rested his head on hers. They stood there in silence until she calmed down.
"Blair," Chuck asked, his arms still around her, "why are we doing this to each other?"
"Because no one else will understand," Blair said through her sniffles.
"Why do you care so much about everyone else? I couldn't care less."
"I have a reputation, Chuck. I have to uphold it."
"But you aren't truly happy." Blair looked up at his face and felt the butterflies returning. Then she stood up slightly on tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips.
"I know. That's the way it has to be."
"No, it doesn't."
Chuck bent down and kissed her again, softer and comforting this time. Blair held it and then the kiss turned deeper, more passionate. Chuck pressed her close against him and Blair brought her one leg up and clutched it around his waist. After making out for a few minutes Blair turned and leaned Chuck up against the piano. He pulled away, not so abruptly this time, and gave her a look of pure sin. Then he walked over to the switch and shut off the lights.