Forever
Pairing: Inui/Shinji
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Theme: #6. the space between dream and reality
Disclaimer in part 1
Rating: PG
Shinji never fell asleep the second he got into bed. No matter how tired, or sick, or whatever he was, it always took him at least a half an hour to get to the point where sleep would overtake him. Before that, his mind was still going, chasing itself in circles as Shinji thought over his day, or his mood, or his plans for the next day/week/month. That was the way it had always been, and how Shinji had always expected it to continue.
Except, lately, something had changed. It wasn't his routine at night. He still did the same things as always—shower, brush his teeth, take his vitamins--including that calcium thing that Inui had forced on him—brush his hair, and get into bed. It wasn't his bedtime, either, or something in the house, or even that his mind had suddenly decided to give him a break and shut off right away.
No, his mind was as active as ever. Though, instead of thinking of everything, Shinji found himself thinking of only one thing—Inui. Or, more specifically, Inui, and him, and their future together.
There was a time where Shinji would've said with absolute certainty that he was just not relationship material. That there was no one out there that would be able to see past his rather obvious outer shell and really see Shinji, the Shinji that had always been there, just hidden from the world.
But Sadaharu did. He wasn't put off by my mumbling. No, he was fascinated by it and used it as a reason to find out more, not to run away from me. The only other person who's ever really gotten inside me like that is Akira, but even Akira doesn't…. Shinji groped for the right word for a minute. Know me. He doesn't know me like Sadaharu does, which is odd, since I've known Akira for so much longer, and I know Akira loves me, and I love him, but not the way that I love Sadaharu….
Shinji suddenly sat bolt upright in bed, realizing what he had just been thinking. "I…what? I love him? How can I love him? Isn't it too soon for love? I always thought love took more time, and besides, I bet he doesn't love me back. Like me a lot, maybe, but not love, because he's sensible and smart, and probably too smart for love. I should be too smart for love, too, you know, so why am I sitting here thinking that I love Sadaharu—"
A banging on his wall interrupted Shinji's monologue. "Shin-chan, shut up! We're trying to sleep!"
"Sorry, Rumi-chan…." Sighing a little, Shinji lay back down and picked up his train of thought again, mentally this time.
All right. Maybe I do love Sadaharu. But it's definitely too soon to say anything to him about it. At least not until he…I don't know, tells me, or shows it, or something. Unless I slip up. Which I do sometimes, I know. At least if I do slip, I don't think that Sadaharu would hate me or be disgusted or anything like that.
Shinji rolled onto his side and reached out to his nightstand, feeling around until he grasped something very important to him. To anyone else, it was just a simple button, but to Shinji, it was something that meant that, just maybe, he wasn't the only one that had high hopes about where this relationship was going to end up one day.
I know we're only fourteen. I know that there's a lot of life ahead of us, even now. High school, college…so many things can happen to us, so many experiences…. But, I really think, no I know that I want to be with Sadaharu through it all. I should be scared by that. I should be terrified to think that I'm willing to tie myself to someone when I'm still so young, but it's not scaring me. I feel safe, instead. Comfortable. And…it's scaring me a little that I don't know if Sadaharu feels the same way about me, but somehow….
Shinji thought of Inui's expression when he thought that Shinji was breaking up with him. Inui's expression when Shinji accepted the button...and Inui. And, most tellingly for Shinji, he thought of the way their lips had met in that moment, of the way that Inui had held him close and made him feel like he was the center of Inui's universe and that nothing could dislodge Shinji from that spot.
I think we both want the same thing, really. I think we both feel the same way about each other. We just can't…express it yet. But I can feel it. I will feel it. And when we're both ready, I'll say it. I'll tell Sadaharu just what I want from him, and, I hope, he'll tell me that he wants the same things in return….
Shinji slipped into a deep sleep, still clutching the button close to his heart, dreaming of Inui's smile, arms, and kiss, and a future that Shinji hoped with all his heart would be theirs.
I want forever, Sadaharu. Forever with you.
--The End--
Note: I know Shinji's birthday is in November and Inui's is in June, and that they are in different grades. So their ages might look a bit odd to most people. However, I'm basing their ages off of a school registration cutoff date in October, which essentially means that Shinji would have to have waited almost a whole year to be enrolled in school, whereas Inui could've stared as soon as he turned 5. Therefore, while Inui is technically older than Shinji—by 5 months—they were born in the same year, so Inui will be turning 15 in 10th grade, and Shinji will be turning 15 in 9th grade. I hope that makes sense. If you are confused, just ask and I will try to explain it better.