If Misery Loves Company

Chapter 3

Clarity

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After having talked to Shera out on the lawn that day, it was back to business as usual. I'd see her at work, she'd smile, I'd… Well, I was just an idiot. Things had gotten so busy as the launch date neared that there hadn't been much chance for me to see her outside of work. That bothered me, it did, but it was time to buckle down about the launch and get serious.

I still watched her, though. Most of the time, I don't think she had any idea, either. I started spending a lot of time after everyone else would go home in the rocket, since it gave me the chance to work without distraction.

There was usually one minor distraction, though.

Shera tended to be on the rocket until pretty damn late, too.

I could see her from where I would sit in the capsule on the monitors. I'd find myself spacing out from my tests and just staring as she moved around the engine room of the rocket, doing her own work.

I'll be damned if I didn't watch her, night after night, obsessing over those fucking oxygen tanks. I never said anything to her about it, though. I don't think she even had any clue that I was in the rocket at night as well, since I stayed on the bridge, and she down below.

One night, though, when it was the time she usually gave in for the day and went home, she dared to venture up to where I was. I heard her enter the bridge behind me, and since my back was to her, she couldn't tell that I smiled to myself.

My smile lingering for a moment, I spoke. "Shera… It's later than usual for you to still be spookin' around the rocket."

"Sir?" she asked back, the surprise of me being there evident in her voice's slight waver.

I didn't turn to look at her yet. "I know you been in this rocket every night pretty much. You hang out with those damn oxygen tanks until around ten most nights before leavin' and goin' home."

She gasped to herself. I guess she really didn't have any idea that I knew what she'd been up to. "Y…you know about that?"

I almost laughed. Shera had been so focused into her own little world that she'd not realized the obvious. "Of course I do. I'm in here almost every damn night, checkin' things out and I do have those, you know." I pointed over to the monitors.

"Oh…"

Managing to get my smile under control, I turned to face her, wanting her to know that I really didn't mind, but that I thought she was going a little above and beyond. "Shera, you're burnin' the candle at both ends. Those tanks are fine, I wish you really would quit worryin' 'bout 'em."

Her eyes fell away from me, down to the deck plate. "You are working here before I ever get up in the morning, and you're still here, so it would seem, when I got home again at night. If there's anyone that's burning that candle, Captain, it's you."

Damn it, I couldn't help myself and that grin crept back up on me. "So I am, but my life is on the line."

Her whole attitude changed suddenly. Her usual upbeat persona faded and she became downright scared looking. "I know… That's why I… I just need to know everything on this rocket is perfect, Sir. I couldn't live with myself in the mission failed and you…"

Poor critter, she's honestly scared I'm gonna die…

I wanted so badly to get up and go pull her in for a hug, God I did, but I knew that was just something that I couldn't do. Not before the mission. No, I knew the risks of what I was going to go through. There was a fair chance that I was going to die. She was absolutely right to be afraid. That fear kept me from making that walk across the room to her in that moment. I had to wait until I landed safely back on the ground before I really tried to make her mine. What good would it do to find out she was interested, if she was at all, if I wasn't going to be around?

I couldn't let my fear out to her then, though. No… seeing how upset she already was, I needed to try and say something comforting. Something… something that would show her that I believed in her abilities. "Well, I trust you to make sure that don't happen. You make sure this ship is perfect and I promise to live. How's that suit ya, Miss Shera?"

There it was, that smile of hers that I lived for. "I'll do everything that I can."

Having gotten her back into a better frame of mind, I knew I needed to get her on her way. It was real damn late. I reciprocated that smile, something I should have been doing a lot more often. "That's all I need to hear. Go home, Miss Shera. I'll see ya in the mornin'."

Her eyes gleamed behind those glasses, and her head cocked to the side. Shera looked at me like nobody else ever did, and it made me hopeful that she did really have some sort of sentiment for me. "All right. Good night, Captain."

I let my smile linger for just a minute more, and nodded before turning back to the controls. She walked away and left the rocket at that point, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

And there were no more thoughts about the rocket in my mind. No, I was stuck on Shera. She gave me cases of the 'warm fuzzies' like I'd never known in my life.

I kinda liked it.

That's bullshit. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.

I fuckin' loved it.

Still… there was a time for work, and a time for fun.

From that moment out, it was a whirlwind of activity as the final push for the launch date came. I didn't get any chances to be around Shera outside of work, although I wanted to, damn I wanted to.

The last day before the launch was hectic as all hell, but before I knew it, six o'clock had come and everyone left the rocket and the office building to get ready for the launch party that was to be held that night. Figuring that I should get on my way, too, I left my office after signing off a few last things and then walked out.

I stopped by Shera's office, finding that she, too, was gone already. Her computer was still on and I went ahead and entered, having a look around. Obviously, her mind had been somewhere else when she'd left that night. Usually, her office was spotless, her computer off and covered.

That night, it wasn't the case. Not only had her computer been left on, but there was a half eaten sandwich on a paper plate, and a ring of hers in the middle of her desk. First thing I did was to 'bump' into her desk, to cause her computer to come out of it's screen saver, wondering what she'd been working on last.

When I saw that it was, yet again, the plans for the oxygen tanks, my first impulse was to get pissed, but… something just kept that from happening. In fact, I smiled to myself and then looked at her desk again. That damn sandwich… I could see that it was peanut butter and that God forsaken apricot jelly crap. I hate apricot jelly. Our luck, it would draw ants, so I casually pushed the paper plate aside until it fell from the desk and down into her garbage can.

My eyes then fell on that ring. I'd seen her wear it around before, always on her left ring finger even though she was single. I knew it was going over the line to touch it at all, but I couldn't help myself and I picked it up. After all, the last thing she needed was the cleaning people making off with it when they arrived.

I held it in my hand and examined it as I walked back to my house. It was so small, hell, it wouldn't even fit past the second knuckle of my pinky if I tried—not that I tried, of course. Nope. It was silver… at least, I'm pretty sure it was, looked like it to me, not that I was an expert by any means.

Damn shame she wears this and not a wedding ring, Cid. A wedding ring from… you?

That thought hit me like a ton of bricks as I went in the door to my house. From the moment I'd laid eyes on Shera, there'd been a strange feeling within me. I ain't one for that kind of talk but, it was true. Absolutely fucking true. The thought of being married to her actually was the one thing that was able to completely push any and all thoughts about the launch and the rocket out of my mind.

I went into my kitchen and sat at the table, seeing that I still had an hour before the party was going to start. I set the ring on the table in front of me and stared.

I had a flash of clarity then that I'll never forget.

That moment was when I resolved that I was meant to be with Shera. She was mine and no one was gonna take her away from me. I was going to marry her, and I was going to do it right after I touched back down on the ground the following day. I would ask her, and she would say yes. I knew in my heart that she would have said yes. How I knew that, I don't know, it was just blind faith, or maybe wishful thinking. Who knew?

I got up, slipped that ring into my pocket and left the house again. There was a jewelry store on the way to the bar and I headed straight for it. Luckily, it didn't generally close until eight so when I went in, the clerk was still behind the counter.

"Captain Highwind? This is quite a surprise to see you in here," he said to me, leaning onto the glass case in front of him.

"If I showed you a ring, you could tell me what size it was and all that, right?" I asked, point blank.

"Of course." His eyes narrowed in curiosity.

I brought out the ring of hers that I'd 'borrowed' and set it on the glass before him. "What size is that and what do you have in the way of weddin' rings that would fit the woman that wears it?"

He picked up the ring and looked at me, wide eyed. "You're getting married, Captain?"

"God willin', if all goes well tomorrow, yeah," I shot back, looking down at the floor.

"Well…" he walked a short distance away, and slid the ring onto some sort of sizing thing. Quickly, he came back over to one of the display cases and pulled out a few rings. "It's a size seven, and these are as well."

I went over and bent down, having a look. I had no idea what kind of ring Shera would like at first, but as my eyes scanned over them, I realized that she was always fairly simple with the way she dressed and such. She wasn't the kind of woman that would want something incredibly flashy. No… I reached out and picked up one of the simpler rings. It didn't have a huge diamond on it, but it was clearly a wedding ring. "This one…"

"And what about yourself?" he asked, taking the ring from me.

Well, that was a good question. "Uh… Hell, I dunno."

He laughed and handed me back the silver ring that I'd brought in originally, and then placed the one I'd picked for Shera in a little box. After, he pulled out a tray of men's rings. "What style would you be interested in?"

I looked them over. Now, I hate wearing anything like that. The closest thing to jewelry I'd ever worn was my dog tags in the service. Right off the bat, I dismissed anything with diamonds or that crap on it. I work a lot with my hands, I needed something that wasn't going to get in my way or be… shiny and annoying. Which left me with just one choice amongst them all. A gold band that had a brushed surface. I picked it up and tried it on, seeing that it fit all right. "Okay, I'll have this one."

The clerk held out his hand and I gave him the ring after I took it off again and he put it in a box like the one Shera's was now in. After that, he pretty much raped my wallet and got away with half of what was in my bank account for two of the simplest damn rings he had in the fucking store.

I took the two rings in their boxes and shoved them into my coat pocket. I had a plan, I had the equipment. As long as all went well the next day, I'd have Shera all to myself.

…or so I had hoped.

That done, I headed down the street to the party.