If Misery Loves Company

Chapter 8

Insight

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

(Yes, Jobi, it looks like there are more than two people reading this, but I guess I'm just not worth the effort of reviews or feedback. Sucks for me since that's my only real motivation for writing, ne? What's even better is when they only BOTHER to leave a REVIEW that nags me for NOT updating QUICKLY enough for them. Quite frankly? Right about now, I'm pissed off and real close to just going back to putting this crap up on my old site so certain people can be left high and dry. I'm tired of the flat out RUDENESS of some of the people on here.)

For the record, I hate changing spark plugs. Not that it's particularly hard on my truck, it's just that I have this constant fear that I'm gonna get one of the fuckers to bind on me and then break off in the engine block. That is a stone bitch when that happens, I'll tell you what. Because of that, I took my time to get it done. Yes, I can finish the job in about ten minutes, but that day, I took longer.

Okay, a lot longer. I ended up wasting an entire hour and a half on it. Yes, I was just trying to delay going back in the house. I was going to drag everything out that day if possible.

I was, in short, just being difficult, this time to myself.

I was just about done when I heard someone shuffling up behind me. Now, having been around Shera as much as I had before the launch, I knew what it sounded like when she walked up like that. She'd done it before… sneak up, but dragging her feet and then stopping a few yards behind me.

Yeah, I knew it was her.

A smile came to my lips at first, but since my back was to her, she had no idea. I wiped that expression off my face quickly, though. I wasn't going to act weird to her. I had to keep calm. I had to see why she was really here, and what she really wanted. I wasn't going to ask her to stay with me, she had to be the one to make the request. There was a good chance, after all, that she just wanted some money for a ticket out of town or something.

I wiped off my hands and turned around, examining her to reassure myself that she really was all right after the previous night's events. "What the fuck? You don't listen for shit, do ya?"

Oh my God, that was the right thing to say, wasn't it?

She seemed scared, and it made me feel bad. "S…Sir, I… I need to know…"

I watched her stammer and got a cigarette lit up. "Know what?"

"Someone has been… leaving me things in my car and… last night, I was attacked and someone saved me. I thought perhaps…" She trailed off, fidgeting with her hands before her.

She has no idea it was me at all? Holy fuck!

Well, maybe I'm just that retarded, but if she didn't know it was me, I didn't want her to now. I didn't want her agreeing to anything based on any white knight syndrome. "What in the hell would lead you to even think for a moment that I would ever do shit for you?"

She turned a little red at that. "I didn't think there was anyone else in town that might have—"

Goddamnit, she was onto me and I had to derail that train right then and there. I took a step closer to her. "I'm the one, Shera, whose life has been torn away form 'em, no fault of my own. I lost my fuckin' job, my dream… everythin'… because YOU decided to fuck with my destiny. Don't you ever delude yourself that I'd go outta my fuckin' way to help you of all people."

Just go kill yourself, right now, Cid. God you SUCK.

She turned from me, crying. "I… I'm terribly sorry… I'll just go…"

I hated myself. I didn't know how to talk to her at all. Yeah, there was a part of me that was still angry over things, but there was another part of me that I'd been trying to ignore since the launch that was killing me over this whole ordeal, or rather, Shera's ordeal. I was going to open my home to her. "Where? I heard you been livin' in that piece of shit you call a car since the launch day."

"That's very true. Shin Ra cancelled my bank account, my credit card, and evicted me from my apartment. My own mother won't talk to me. I've… I'm just… stuck…" she said back, confirming all that I had figured. She was still crying, too, damn it.

Bring her in…

"It's supposed to freeze tonight."

Oh, that's charming, Cid.

Shera just stood there with her back still to me.

Here goes nothing.

I took a deep breath and just went for it. "If I let you go back to that damn car and you die of exposure tonight, I'll feel like I killed ya anyway and that scrubbin' the launch to save your ass was a fuckin' waste."

No visible reaction from her.

I figured I was somehow not being clear, and I got mad at myself. "Get your shit outta that car and bring it here. You can stay in my guestroom for a few days until you find a way to get your ass outta my town."

At that, she turned, wearing that smile of hers that I'd…. well, I'd missed it. "Captain, I—"

I didn't want her to say anything, really. That I got a smile was enough. "Don't say shit to me about it, Shera. This don't mean I like you in any way, shape, or form. I just can't have your death on my hands. That is the ONLY reason I'm lettin' you into my house. You got me?"

I know that was a little harsh, too, but I didn't want her feeling any sort of obligation to me whatsoever. I wanted to keep her safe, but I didn't want any thing, emotionally, from her that she didn't mean… I mean…. Er…. Shit.

Still, she smiled again. "Yes, Sir."

Immediately, she turned away from me and headed back for her car. I turned as well, running to the house to pick things up a little before she returned. I was smiling like an idiot then.

She may have blown the launch, but… Goddamnit, I still loved her and now she was gonna be where I could watch her right.

Feels pretty good, don't it?

Yes, yes it did.

Just about an hour later, she had all her stuff out of that God forsaken car and into my guestroom. I told her she could have the guest bathroom to herself and I showed her where the washer and drier were. She set about getting herself cleaned up and her things in order, and I just sat in my living room, finally at ease that she was going to be safe if nothing else.

I would finally be able to sleep at night again.

I hoped she wouldn't leave too soon.

Maybe she'll stay forever!

That was not an unappealing thought. Not at all.

Shera stayed in her room for the most part, just venturing out a few times to get things to eat in the kitchen as I gave her full permission to do.

When I figured she was settled in for the night, I picked up the phone and called Mike.

"Mike's Bar," he answered.

"Hey, guy, is Brad there?" I asked, knowing full well that he was.

"Yeah, sure, Captain. You ain't comin' in tonight?" he asked.

"Naw, I don't think so. I'm stayin' in. I just wanted to ask Brad somethin'," I said back, smiling to myself that I had a reason NOT to go.

A few seconds later, I heard the phone passed over. "Hello?"
"Hey, Brad, it's the captain."

"Well, to what do I owe this honor?"

He was the only one with a tow truck in town and I had a favor to ask. "Is there any chance you can pick up Shera's car off of Olive and bring it to my house?"

"Sure… I can fit that into my schedule in a day or two, I figure," he said back, sounding agreeable.

"That'd be great, I'd appreciate it." That said, I hung up.

Hey, it's not like I was going to leave her car, one of her few worldly possessions, out there to be impounded by the cops. I could get it back in driving order for her so that she wasn't tethered to the house if nothing else. That way, if she wanted to up and leave, she would be able to.

Not that I wanted her to.

Once it was a little later, I walked down the hall to my room. I could see under Shera's door that the light was off. I went to put my ear against the door to hear if she was doing anything else within, but the door wasn't latched completely and creaked open when I'd touched it. Instantly, I reached over and flipped off the hall light, not wanting to wake her up if she was out. The door to her room kept slowly opening further as it has a habit of doing. Soon, it was open enough that I could see in.

Sure enough, Shera was wrapped up in the blankets, oblivious. I stood there just looking at her from where I was in the hallway for several minutes. It felt so damn good to have her in the house. I began to remember exactly how lonely I really had been again. Feeling myself in danger of going in and waking her up to talk I reached out, carefully closed her door again and went to bed myself.

I forced myself out of bed at six the following morning, something I hadn't done since the launch, and got some tea and went to watch a little television. Now, it should come as no surprise that even though I get up early as a matter of habit, I'm still crabby in the morning, and this day was no exception.

As I sat rooted into my chair, I heard Shera get up and start shuffling about the house. It sure was good to have slept all night long without having to worry about her. Still, the fact that I'd not been in my usual routine for more than a week had taken its toll and I sank into a daze.

"Captain, do you want me to make something?" she asked after a while, poking her head into the living room.

"I'm watchin' the fuckin' television right now. I eat at seven." Like I said, I'm crabby in the morning and set in my ways.

It wasn't too much later that I could hear her clanking around in the kitchen, and soon, I could smell bacon, thusly drawing my attention. When the news was over, I got up and slogged into the kitchen, seeing that she'd made waffles, too. I gave her my cup and asked for more tea before tearing into what was really the first real meal that I'd had since before the launch.

I didn't really notice that she spent the entire time just watching me eat until I was done. It had been that good. "All right, I'll admit that you might be useful. Can you make dinner, too?"

"Yes, Sir," Shera chirped back, giving me a smile.

I stood up and went over to her. I figured that letting her earn her keep would help keep her pride intact. That's the kind of girl she was, after all. "Get the dishes washed and I want dinner at seven. I don't care what you make, as long as it's good—and don't go tryin' to make me eat any health food shit. I like meat and potatoes. Keep it simple. I have tea in the mornin', another cup or two around noon. I don't eat lunch, but I have more tea at around four in the afternoon with somethin' small to eat. Dinner is my mainstay, seven sharp. I have a cup of coffee after dinner, and more tea at ten before I turn in. Do you think you can possibly handle that or is it some insurmountable task that you would like to try and sabotage?"

Oh, slick there, sport.

I did inwardly wince at that last statement since I knew it was just my unresolved anger about the launch slipping out.

She didn't flinch in the least, though. Instead, she just kept smiling and nodded. I guessed she was onboard with the plan, then.

It worked for me.

I wondered, as the day went on, if she was going to go a little stir crazy just being in the house. I figured that she could go shopping for me since… well, I dunno… I thought women liked that kind of thing. I gave her a list and some cash and sent her off on her first mission.

She did it right, too. Not only did she return with all that I'd wanted, but a little extra to make some cookies and that sort of thing. I'm not above admitting that I really like homemade cookies, and they weren't something I got all that often.

I sat in my chair that afternoon, just day dreaming as I smelled those cookies in the oven. I was snapped out of that state, though, when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking that it might be Brad with the car for delivery, I hopped up and answered.

When I saw that it wasn't Brad, but rather, Eric Stephenson, I knew I was in for a little trouble. Stephenson had been on the rocket project as an electrician and I had hated the guy from day one. He was a complete and utter ass who spent every waking moment of his life talking about how he'd fucked every woman in town. "What in the hell are you doin' here?"

He glowered down at me, stinking of alcohol. "I heard Brad talking to one of his guys. Said you were going to have Shera's car towed here. I want to know why."

"Because havin' it stay out on the street to get more tickets and then impounded ain't that hot a deal," I shot back, not really intimidated by the fact he was bigger than me. Much, much, bigger.

"That bitch is living here?" he asked, stepping closer.

I stood my ground. "I don't rightly see what business that is of yours, Stephenson."

Well, that just got him all razzed up. "She cost this town the space program and me the biggest contract I've ever had! I'd say it's plenty of my business! Now, you get that little whore out here because I have a few things to say to her."

I could hear Shera gasp behind me, and I knew that after what she'd been through the night before, she was terrified this man was going to come after her. I grabbed onto the doorframe and leaned a little closer to him. "You lost your fuckin' job… so what? We all lost our fuckin' jobs. She knows what she did, ain't no reason to beat her for it."

I think he figured he could intimidate me. "I said for you to get her out here now!"

I openly smirked at him, seeing that for the moment, anyway, he was going to be all bark and no bite. Besides, I figured someone needed, probably, to go make sure that Gregory wasn't still lying tied up in his family room. "Here's what y'all are gonna do. You're gonna get offa my property and get your ass in your truck. I want you to drive over to Gregory's house and have a little fuckin' tea time with him. You have a good look at his ugly ass and see what happens when guys in this town try to lay their hands on a woman. If you still need further clarification after that, feel free to come on back. You got me?"

It was all too easy and instead of saying another word, Stephenson just groaned in frustration and walked off. I maintained my stance in the doorway until he was back in his truck and well down the road. I locked the door, and turned to face where I knew Shera was eavesdropping. "The damn cookies are burnin', Shera."

She yelped and I could hear her open up the oven quickly.

A little while later, I went for my afternoon tea, Shera sitting across from me. She sat there and fidgeted with her hands for a while before speaking. "Captain… I was afraid Stephenson was going to hit you there for a moment."

I looked her in the eye, trying not to smile. There were a few things that I knew about certain people. "I weren't in no damn danger there, Shera. His kind ain't a threat to me."

She just gave me a sheep like blank stare, obviously needing clarification.

"Thing is… that kinda guy, sure, he's a big mother fucker, and acts like a real bad ass but… He's the kinda guy that's beat on women his whole life. Which, of course, he can physically get away with because he's just so much bigger'n 'em. Thing is, the women that fall victim to that kinda shit usually are submissive, and all the men he's ever fought have been drunk. Well, I ain't some little submissive bitch and I'm sober as all hell at the moment. I ain't afraid of his little act in the least. Confronted with that, he didn't know what to fuckin' do so he just walked off. He's a Goddamned loser." I kept locked in her gaze, wanting her to see that I knew exactly what I was talking about.

Her eyes darted away, and she turned red. "Well, I appreciate that you defended me like that."

Shit! She's onto me! Pull up, Highwind, pull up!

I shook my head, needing, yet again, to avoid her getting that white knight syndrome. "I did it because it was the right fuckin' thing to do, not because I feel any sorta obligation to you, so don't go readin' shit into it."

Shera then looked back up at me, some insight flashing behind her eyes, despite what I'd just said. "Captain… Gregory… is… is that the name of the man that tried to attack me last night?"

Gah! Fuckity fuck fuck!

I took my Goddamned cookies and fled from the kitchen. Shera knew. Damn.