If Misery Loves Company

Chapter 18

Lift Off

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

(….yeah, I'm well aware that I vanished for a while. I moved half way across country, quit my day job, all that jazz. I will finish this.)

I made the trip from Junon to Rocket in what must've been record time. The entire flight I felt sick to my stomach. I'd never been so worried for someone in all my life as I was for Shera right about then. Every effort that I'd made by radio, phone, what have you, to contact her had now failed for longer than I could stand. I'm sure I was a lot edgier with the crew and the damn kids that I was with, but I couldn't help it. I'd gone another good few days without much sleep, even with the help of a good dose of booze thrown into the mix.

You being a bastard and drunk those few days probably really instilled a lot of confidence in you from your crew.

Well, I'm damn sure it didn't help my image but I didn't really give a rat's ass. All I could think about was Shera. All sorts of horrible visions were running through my mind of what they might have done to her. I swore to God Almighty that if I came to find out that Shin Ra had harmed one hair on her head, I single handedly would take down the entire company.

When we got to Rocket, we tried to do it as covertly as possible, given that we were arriving in about the biggest airship ever built. Still, we landed on the edge of town and walked in. I hadn't seen the town so full of activity since the Space Program days. The entire place was literally crawling with Shin Ra people. As I suspected, the focus of all that madness was my own property, and the rocket itself.

As much as I wanted to break away from the group and go looking for Shera, I couldn't really get away with it under the circumstances. With all the activity going on around the rocket, I knew they were planning on using it for something. And if there was anything that I'd learned by that time, no matter what Shin Ra chose to do, it was the wrong damn thing. I was already wildly speculating about what their plan exactly was. I mean, to me it seemed fairly self explanatory that they were going to launch my rocket into that Meteor thing like it was a fucking missile.

I couldn't allow that. Not over my dead body… even though that was a very likely scenario at the time.

I convinced the others that I needed to get into that rocket and stop their plan. When you get right down to it, I'm sometimes completely retarded. It was my damn pride over that stupid machine and my old, burned out dream. That was MY rocket, period, end of story and I wasn't about to share.

I led the charge across the open field toward my baby. By baby, I mean my rocket. If I couldn't go finding Shera for the moment, that was the best I could do. We were met with some resistance, but not as much as I would have expected. We made it up into the tower, meeting a few guards and even a pair of Turks. It wasn't much compared to what we'd been through, all things considered.

Before too long, we were in the flight capsule. I'd be damned if some of my old workers weren't within. That relieved me on some level. I mean, if they were in need of these guys, they sure as hell would have needed Shera, too, since she was the most knowledgeable person in this project next to me.

After a few minutes of questioning my guys, I was informed that the rocket was slated to be launched. See, Shin Ra had decided to load her up with a bomb made from the Huge Materia they'd been collecting. To me, that seemed like the best shot we had. Though I had been just moments before ready to stop them… well… sometimes I waffle like that.

Then, they told me the autopilot wasn't working properly, and I was told that Shera was, in fact, alive.

I weighed my options for a few seconds, before making the decision that I'd fix the rocket myself. My crew men left, and I found myself with Cloud and Barrett.

The boy instantly questioned my decision. He threw something of a fit about my willingness to destroy the Materia.

I understood that he believed in all that magic shit, and that somehow just holding onto that shiny rock would help us save the world.

Well, that was all right and fine, but seeing that Meteor in the sky, and realizing that the entire world was on the verge of death… I couldn't just dump my hopes in a rock. No, if firing my rocket into space and blowing that fucking Meteor up was an option given to me…

…then I was going to take it. I set about trying to diagnose the autopilot, in an attempt to get it working right.

Cloud, even though he was just a kid, he stayed in the rocket right at my side as I worked feverishly. He wasn't any help, mind you, what did he know about any of this? Still, though, the fact that he stayed without giving me anymore gruff about destroying the Huge Materia… it told me that he was putting his faith in me.

Suddenly, I heard the countdown claxon start blaring. Confused, I hit the comm button. "What the hell happened?"

Palmer… that fat son of a bitch… he snorted over the radio. "Hey, hey!"

I rolled my eyes and grit my teeth. "Palmer?! What the hell didja do?"

"They said they finished the auto pilot, so I launched!"

I felt my heart leap up into my throat. There was only one person who could have fixed the problem before I'd even figured out what that problem was. "Goddamned Shera… why'd she pick today to get fast? Damnit…"

I tried to shut down the launch sequence in a mockery of my abortion of the launch years before. The controls were completely unresponsive to me. Clearly, they had been rerouted elsewhere in the ship. "…won't budge… It's completely locked up…"

I heard Palmer laugh something else out at me, and I felt the engine fire up. I was going up in that rocket, whether I wanted to now or not. I quickly barked for Cloud and Barrett, both still inside with me to strap in.

Though I had no control over the rocket given the situation, I landed my ass in my rightful place, snapping the harness around my body. I was white knuckled for sure as I gripped the arm rests. With the angle that the rocket had been left at, I wasn't sure that we were going to get up off the ground. She started to lean more as the engine screamed several decks below us.

That was one of perhaps… four times in your life you honestly started praying, wasn't it, Cid?

It surely was. I just begged God that if this was going to fail and I was going to die, to at least have that happen in space.

Selfish as it may have been, I wanted to have at least that moment of success. Still, though, as I felt the rocket finally surrender to upward flight, I gave thought to what all I should have said to Shera. I'd wasted so much time…

The sky, through the small window before me, was blue and cloudless. I watched that featureless expanse, ignoring the crushing pain the rocket's acceleration was causing me. The higher we got, the darker that blue patch of sky grew.

After a few minutes, occasionally glancing at the altimeter as it wound up higher and higer…

That blue gave way to black.

I know what you're envisioning. You think that at that moment it would have looked like the night sky, but you're dead wrong.

The blackness of the sky once you're out of the atmosphere… it can't even compare to seeing the night sky from the ground. It's not just dark, but it's completely and absolutely pure. The stars, once you're beyond the air… they don't twinkle and fade in and out like they do when you're on the ground. No… they burn their true colors, steady and unwavering. Instead of flickering silver spots… they come in an array of yellow, red, blue, and white.

Seeing that, actually being there, feeling my weight only held back in the seat by the rocket's sheer power, and no longer gravity…

It was the closest thing to a religious experience I can ever claim to have had.

I'd made it into space, I'd fulfilled my destiny after all.

The Meteor came into view. While it had looked big from the ground, it was only now that I could really appreciate its size. Next to it, my rocket was like a toy. Materia bomb or not… we weren't gonna harm that massive nightmare. There was just no way. Reality is rude like that sometimes.

Cloud said something behind me after several minutes. It snapped me out of my state and I turned my eyes to the monitors. "Yup… it's headed for a collision with Meteor…"

The two other men with me panicked. They didn't want to die out here, and I can't really say that I wanted to, either. I still had an ace up my sleeve. I laughed and looked back at them, informing them that the rocket had an escape pod. We weren't doomed to die, all we had to do was… simply put, get the fuck out.

With that, I started to make my way to the escape pod. Cloud, of course, lagged behind me, though, hemming and hawing about how he really should bring the Huge Materia with us off the rocket.

Being as that I was moderately stressed with the prospect of my survival at that point, I told him I didn't fucking care what he did. I was going to get the pod working, and that whatever he chose to do, he best make it fast. To my surprise, he did make it fast and got the Materia in record time.

I carried on into the oxygen tank compartment since that's where the escape pod was built into the rocket. Heading toward the pod, I heard a strange ping… you know, the kind of sound you hear when metal is being over stressed. Though I tried to not pay it any attention, it was quickly followed by the screech of escaping gas.

To be honest, I don't rightly recall much immediately after. The force of the explosion had blacked me out for several seconds.

When I did come to, the world was moving in slow motion. I was confused, disoriented, not knowing what the hell had happened. My head hurt like crazy since the percussion of the blast had done enough to rupture my eardrums. As I tried to move, I realized that a large section of that mother fucking eight tank was on my legs.

Barrett and Cloud, in a noble but somewhat futile attempt, tried to get the metal off of me. There just wasn't any time for heroics, though. "Don't worry 'bout me! Hurry up an' go!"

Cloud didn't make any move to leave, despite my order.

"You fuckin' moron! No time to worry 'bout other people!" I yelled back at him, pointing toward the escape pod. We hadn't come this far for all of us to die in that fucking rocket, after all.

They still refused to leave, trying to pry the metal off of me.

I let my head fall back to the deck plate. The number eight painted on that chunk of steel pounded the inevitable truth into my head.

Shera had been right all along.

…and you were sure that you were going to die from that very thing… without ever having told her how you feel.

The pain and stress was making me resign to my fate. I closed my eyes, letting my last thought come out aloud. "…Shera… ya were right. This is the end for me…"

"Don't say that, Cid."

My eyes snapped open and I twisted my body to look to her, seeing that yes, Shera was right there beside me. Part of me wondered if I was hallucinating. Especially since she'd called me by my name, and not Captain. "Huh…? Shera?!"

She gave me that same unfaltering smile that I'd come to love so damn much. "I tagged along. I came to help you."

I couldn't believe that she'd now thrown her life into the fire with mine. I mean, I'd figured that at least I could have died there knowing that she was safe for the time being back on the ground. But no, here she was right with me, about to take part in my fate. "You stupid bitch!"

Because that's the kind of romantic thing one always says when you realize another person has potentially sacrificed their life for you.

Of course!Shera didn't seem rattled by it, though. Instead she joined Cloud and Barrett in their effort to free me. With the added strength of that woman, they did get the tank fragment up enough that I was able to haul myself out from beneath it.

I took a deep breath and looked at Shera. "…sorry."

Her eyes ran over me, and then she moved to the escape pod controls. "Hurry, I'm going to detach the escape pod."

After getting up from the floor, I went to her side, my confidence rattled badly. "Hey, Shera? Does this pod really fly?"

Again I got a smile. "It'll be okay… I've been checking it until now."

I couldn't help but reflect her expression. Shera had been right about things I'd been to ignorant or stubborn to understand. The facts were all out on the table now. Shera was smarter than I was. I swallowed the tatters of my pride. "Then I'm relieved."

Shera seemed to get a little emotional as she uttered a thanks to me.

There wasn't much time for me to dwell in that, though, as she soon got the door to the pod open and we all hurried inside. We strapped in and braced before we were blown away from the rocket.

I kept my eyes to the small window, knowing that it was a fair chance I'd never get this far up again. That was a bittersweet moment… Off in the distance, I watched the rocket that I'd put so much of myself into vanish in a small flash against the side of Meteor. "…so long, Shin Ra twenty six…"

It had been in vain. The rocket hadn't done shit to that damn Meteor. I knew that even had we left that Huge Materia onboard it wouldn't have mattered.

My reverie was cut short though, as the pod hit the atmosphere. Streaks of fire licked at the window, and Shera whimpered in her fear. She curled up in her seat, shaking terribly.

Despite my own fear, I just leaned over and held onto Shera for all I was worth. I'd made so much of her life miserable. From that moment forward, I was going to do everything I could to keep her happy. "Shhh… it's all right… we'll be through this part in a few minutes… 'chutes'll open, an' we'll land in the water. I ain't gonna let nothin' bad happen…"

She turned a little, and gripped at my jacket with her hands.

I nuzzled against the side of her head, not caring if Cloud and Barrett saw this side of me. All I wanted to do was to make sure Shera was going to be okay.

There was a jolt as the parachutes deployed, slowing our fall. Shera yelped in terror against my chest, and I just kept my protective hold around her. Soon, we hit the water, and only then did she sit back a little and look at me.

Had we been alone, I would have kissed her, I honestly would have. "Shera… really, thanks…"

"I'd do anything for you, like I've always said…" she whispered back to me.

I was more or less oblivious to the fact Cloud was opening the hatch and calling for the Highwind to come pick us up. No… I was too occupied. Holding Shera, I closed my eyes and was just content to be there with her. It was a few hours before we were picked up, but it was the best few hours of my life. I'd finally seen space, and now I had Shera in my grasp. Something had changed between us because of what we'd been through. That damn rocket, now destroyed, had served to push her and I together, after all. We weren't just business partners or friends anymore.

Shera was my woman, and always had been, I just finally understood it.

For the first time in my life, I was a little disappointed to hear an airship approach. We were plucked from the water and brought onboard my ship.

I went straight to the bridge, and to my rightful place. Shera stayed at my side. After getting my bearings, I broke the silence. "Shera, I'm gonna get ya back to Rocket, okay?"

She gave a nod, fidgeting with her hands, and turning toward the window. "All right."

I studied her for a few seconds, seeing that she didn't really want to go home. "Hey…"

Shera didn't turn her body, just her head back toward me. The way the light was hitting her… damn she looked pretty right then. "Yes, Sir?"

I shook my head a little and snickered. "For one, don't you feel like you gotta call me Sir or Captain anymore…" I stopped for a second before making a confession, "I… I kinda liked it back there when y'all called me Cid."

Her cheeks turned about nine shades of red. "All right then, Cid."

I took the liberty of admiring her for a few more seconds. "Good deal… You know what? When this is all done, Shera… I uh…"

Red alert, red alert… you are goin' where you've AVOIDED goin' for the last five years!

She moved a little closer in her curiosity. "Yes?"

I took a deep breath and looked right into her eyes. "I'm gonna teach ya… how to fly."

What??? What the hell was that? How does, "I want to marry you" become "I'm gonna teach ya how to fly?"

God, I wish I knew myself. Maybe I was still just as big a coward as ever.

Still, she teared up. I think perhaps by that point, Shera knew me well enough to be able to translate my 'Retard' into English. "I would love that, Cid."

My cheeks started to burn a little, and I got back to the task of flying. Soon enough, we were over Rocket again. I circled the town, seeing that all of the Shin Ra presence had seemed to evaporate in the past few hours. It tugged at my heart, too, seeing how the town now looked. The icon of my failure and the stagnation of my life was gone. The skyline was open and different. Life wasn't going to be the same.

I landed and ordered everyone to stay put. Shera and I made the short walk to the house in no big hurry. I remained silent, trying to sort out my thoughts, until I got her to the door. "I wish I could stay a while, Shera, but…"

A pained smile seemed to come to her face. "You've got to go and save the world, it's all right."

I started to say something, but then realized that talking was the wrong thing to be doing with my mouth at the moment. I canned my reservations and fears, put my arms around her, and kissed Shera for all I was worth.

About time.

I suppose I'm not the most romantic guy and I have already admitted to being more than a little retarded when it came to anything physical. Still, Shera instantly parted her lips against mine, telling me that it really was all right and something she wanted. I took all she was willing to give me in that kiss, before reluctantly pulling back a little.

Shera's eyes eventually opened only half way, her lips still parted. I'd never seen the particular look in her eyes before, but I understood. God ever did I understand finally and had I not had the fate of the world on me at the moment, I would have picked her up and taken her straight to bed.

That wasn't to be at the moment, though, and it hurt. "I'll be back as soon as I can, all right?"

"Y…yes, C…Cid…" she whispered back breathlessly.

That was the sexiest thing you'd ever heard.

You bet your ass it was.

I touched her cheek and smiled, feeling pretty damn good about finally having taken the next step with her. Though it pained me dearly, I had to turn and run toward the ship before leaving again.

This time, though, I wasn't running from her. I was running to hurry up and finish this clusterfuck of a mission so I could get back to her.

I'd used my anger over the rocket failure all these years as the excuse for never going forward. Like she'd known all along, that was a load of shit, she had been right. Shera had always been right. It was one of those… epiphanies people talk about, where they know they're going to change their whole lives.

Mine had just taken five years to sink in.