Chapter 4 – In which Butler begins to investigate…
Butler frowned. And a two metre tall giant is terrifying even when he smiles. Butler had also taken to talking to Holly on the laptop. Usually it was just to say hello, sometimes to check up on Sool, and others to check up on how the business was going. But this time, it wasn't even remotely similar to any of his previous calls.
As he saw the screen flickering on to reveal Mulch and his row of bone crushing molars, he jumped into the first question,
"Do you know anyone by the name of Ivy Kestrel?"
"A 'hello, nice to see you Mulch' wouldn't hurt. And why do you want to know?" Butler's soldier senses tingled. The last sentence was not spoken without hesitation.
"Because we have an exchange student here named that. She could almost be mistaken for a fairy, and I was wondering if anyone had disappeared from Haven or Atlantis or something?"
Mulch visibly paled, and clutched his gut, "Sorry, just came out of the tunnels. Er… sorry, you'd have to ask Holly that. I've heard that her step dad's in the MI5 and one of their top workers. That's all I know."
"Well, if you find anything… or if there's something that you remember in a minute's time…" Butler had learnt this trick from Madame Ko as well. When flustered, the principal's assassins would tend to blurt out things that they don't realise.
"No! I've never heard the name Kestrel, and nor does anyone else in Haven. Not even the Council members know! Nobody at all knows that name!"
From Mulch's agitation, the older Butler sibling concluded that a lot of people knew about these people. He just wondered why this girl, whilst way above average teenage intellect, was such a celebrity. He decided to run this past Artemis first.
"Alright, Mulch, it was just a question. It's just the paranoia from old age, I suppose." He smiled, terminating the link. Picking himself up, he turned to go downstairs. It was about time for the Fowls and the Kestrel to get acquainted.
Below ground, Mulch was still wide eyed and his beard hair was frozen solid. Never a good sign. He grabbed his phone, and paged the first number that came into his head when the two words 'Ivy Kestrel' came into a sentence.
"Foaly! Fowl and Kestrel are in the same house!"
"Don't you think I know? I've got 24 hour surveillance trained on them now!" For once, those smart quips and sarcastic comments had been kicked out of the centaur's mouth. When two teenage geniuses met together, and the both knew the existence of fairies… it was never a good thing.
And, when one of those teenagers had the power to destroy the Earth when she got angry, then so much more the trouble.
Grinding his tombstone teeth, Mulch debated on whether or not to call Holly on this one. But Holly was a PI, not an LEPrecon hotshot captain. Visas took time to sort out, and Fowl could not be allowed to find out about Ivy.
"The Mud Boy may have reformed his ways, but he'll always be part criminal." Muttered Mulch, speaking from personal experience. And with a brain the size of Fowl's? No way could it curl up in a corner and settle down.
There wasn't any choice. He picked up the phone, dialled, and waited for the owner to pick up.
"Mulch! I'm kinda in the middle of something here! Can't this wait?" Diggums heard the sound of a gunshot in the distance. Ah. Holly was dealing with something. And that something was probably a couple of thugs trying to steal the Frond necklace, their latest 'project'.
"Er… no. I have this feeling that you're going to be called up for some work real soon. Really, really soon." And, before Holly had a chance to demand what was coming, Mulch heard the ringing that indicated another caller on the phone.
"Yeah, I gotta go. Please don't kill me when you find out what it is!" Mulch terminated the link. It seemed that freedom wasn't doing much for him. He was still being chased by one of the best elves in the business.
Foaly was calling her again. Strange, thought Ivy, he doesn't usually try and call me unless he needs ideas or updating me on the latest evil doings of Ark Sool. She excused herself from the lab and rushed to the nearest lavatory.
"Foaly? Why are you calling me? Has Sool tried to tell you to go stuff your head inside one of your super expensive Atlantis plasma screens?"
"Yes, but no, that's not why I'm calling you. I need you to promise me that you won't tell Fowl who and what you are. He didn't stop until he discovered us. A cross-species war would be bad enough, but a cross-reality war? I don't think any of us can take that!"
"Foaly, calm down, you overly intelligent centaur! My mum already forced me to do the Lightning Vow, so unless I'm suicidal, then there's no way that I could tell Master Fowl about my Mum and I. Are you satisfied now?"
Foaly's frown determined Ivy's suspicions. "No. Fowl found us and managed to contact us. There is no way in saying that he won't find out about you and your world. I'm half thinking of pulling you out of that trip right now."
"How do you do that, Foaly, without arousing anyone's suspicions? No, I'll make sure that Fowl doesn't find out from my mouth." But I will make sure he hears it from someone else's mouth.
"Alright, but be on your guard, Fowl's one tricky character." Foaly quipped.
Ivy terminated the link, and returned to the lab. She would have to concentrate if she were to get the giant's attention. She re-entered, finding Fowl still examining the different types of carbon under the microscope.
She sighed. Why did life have to be so complicated for her?
Artemis hardly heard the girl enter. Maybe she wasn't as tomboyish as he had first thought. Unfortunately, he was still upset at the fact that she could hack into government files just as easily as he could. He hadn't thought that any human could do so as fast as he could.
Although that centaur, Foaly, certainly could do it faster than any human. Sometimes, he wondered whether or not that pony was melded to his computer or something. Artemis Fowl smiled. He had made a joke. He could hardly remember the last time he had chided himself for making a joke.
"Er… Fowl? Are you alright?" It wasn't even remotely near to a question. More like a demand. But there was just a spot of sympathy.
"Oh, yes, I'm fine… why shouldn't I be?" Asked Fowl, as if oblivious to the fact that he smiled in front of someone without his sadistic vampire smile.
And a vampire smile coming from him was, in itself, scary enough, much less a warm, sincere smile coming from Artemis Fowl the Second.
"Er… nothing. Nothing at all. Now, why do you think that carbon could have such an impact on the cures of cancer?"
If it had been anyone else rather than these two adolescents discussing this outside the classroom, then I would have sufficient reason to be worried.
When it was finally time for dinner, Artemis and Ivy had forgotten the original little squabble, but were still within the protective boundaries of business, and still miles from entering friendship. Angeline and Artemis Senior looked at each other worriedly, and nodded in unison.
"Arty, we need to talk for a second." Whispered Angeline, and Artemis Junior nodded to Ivy, indicating that she should go and seat herself without the Fowls for now.
"Arty, old boy, we don't think that you and Ivy are actually… bonding properly." Ventured Angeline; unsure of how she should put it.
"Mother, Miss Kestrel and I are fully bonding, and I must say that her intellect level is almost compatible with mine." Smiled Artemis, pleased that she had been able to understand and even argue with a few of his points.
"Yes, but you are still a fair throw away from friends, and that's what your mother and I wanted you to do on this trip. To make friends. Do you know anything about her family apart from what she's said on the letter?" Asked his father, and for once, Artemis had come to one question that he could not answer.
"I want you to try and talk to her about something other than logic and schoolwork." Scolded Angeline, the sentence sounding more like an order rather than a request.
Artemis Fowl the Second slumped his shoulders, and unwillingly dragged himself through the corridor and towards the dining hall.
Ivy had heard the entire conversation; such was her way with air. Settling down, she decided not to make things too hard for him. After all, her fists clenched on this thought, she could relate to what he felt like right now.
Butler was having other concerns. He had contacted one of his associates in England, who had access to the birth archives. Ivy was listed. Her mother was not. He once again checked her school records, searching for something that would lead him somewhere.
After several searches (the girl had moved several times in her early years) he found a lead. It seemed that Ivy Kestrel had a little tie in with the local bullies and ended up being charged of carrying a weapon and disposing it. The girl had denied the charges, but a hole in the gang's leader's arm wasn't something that proclaimed your innocence.
Butler checked the pictures. This bullet didn't look like normal bullet holes. He should have been the expert.
"Too thin… and too shallow." Muttered the giant to no one in particular. He saved the files into his archives. Master Artemis would have to see this.
Artemis and Ivy were going through an almost torturous evening. Being better than most psychologists, they were still not in full control of teenage hormones. If you're a teenager then you'll know about those little temper flaws everyone has.
"I do spend some of my time studying 'feminine' activities, thank you! I don't think that you can even lift a 5 kilogram weight without whimpering!" Snapped Ivy, finally cracking. She tried to calm down before the gale attacking the windows broke the French style windows.
"Well, at least I stick to my gender. I don't try any embroidery." Uttered Artemis, still refusing to budge from his position of sexist pig.
"Oh! I don't know why you can't just be civilised for once! Come on, can't you just at least be polite and ask me why I insist on doing gymnastics and fencing when I can just as easily be amused by… what did you say? Oh yes, embroidery?" Genius she was, but calm and tranquil? Not a chance.
Angeline and Artemis Senior knew enough from their dates that when two tempers flared then it was time to call in the cavalry.
"Butler! Could you take Miss Ivy and Arty to the gym? I'm sure that Ivy can show you all how good she is at gymnastics!" Beamed Angeline, just as Dom came crashing down the stairs.
"Yes, ma'am. Should I take the Bentley or would you prefer we take the BMW?" Asked Butler, composing his breath.
"No need, Butler. I can show you all right here and now my gymnastic abilities." Smirked Ivy, taking a few steps backwards, making mental measurements and posing herself. Artemis Fowl Junior instinctively moved behind the chair he was sitting on.
Her smirk increasing, she flipped, twisted and skipped all the way to the end of the room. Then, ignoring the gasps from her audience, she cart wheeled all the way to the chair that her host had been hiding behind and landed with a backwards flip on the bar.
"Next time you say that a needle and dyed thread is more preferable than this, I'll use you as my dummy for fencing practice." She hissed, and flipped onto the carpet, smoothing herself into a bow.
Artemis looked at Butler with wide eyes, expressing his surprise. He had heard from Butler that she had been practising for a few years now, but this was definitely a first.
As for Butler, he was becoming more and more suspicious of this girl. She was obviously in contact with the underworld, and she had to possess some kind of magic. After all, he reasoned, even with all the natural ability in the world, you still couldn't get to Olympic standard within three years.
But, even in his wildest dreams, he couldn't have imagined what would happen in two days time at Tara.