Chapter 7 – In which Artemis only finds out half of the story…
"Sool! Stop right there!" Panted Ivy, slightly out of breath, even though she had been using her affinity with air to speed herself up. Her hair out of shape, and with the air around her momentarily agitated, her hair had come down from her plait and was now floating around as if it were underwater.
Down, air, don't blow my cover from the two humans. She sent the signal to the atmosphere around her. The wind died down, but reluctantly. But you are also a human… we can feel it.
Not bothering to answer that, she turned her attention to Sool. His eyes narrowed and then widened as he realised who this was.
"Ivy Saraswati Kestrel! What are you doing here? I thought you lived in England? Which is, if I remember my school days correctly, on the other side of the Irish Sea?" Ivy rolled her eyes. She had forgotten how annoying the little gnome was. Even when she was small, she resented the way he patronised her by handing her a little baby elephant and playing 'peek-a-boo' with her.
"Yes, but if you actually stayed in touch with the outside world, you will realise that I am here for my exchange. It just so happened that here is where the exchange was taking place."
If Sool really knew what was going on outside his office (and Ivy highly doubted it… the guy didn't even watch PPTV!) then he put on a brilliant show of surprise when he say Butler turn to the diminutive girl and mutter (but still loud enough for his ears to hear),
"Miss Kestrel, I do not think Master Artemis would like you turning up here and ruining the proceedings…"
"Artemis? As in Fowl? What in the name of Frond are you talking about?" Exclaimed Sool, his sagging cheeks now stretched as far as his mouth would allow.
A rustling from the bushes made the air tense, and then relax. It was only Artemis, reasoned Ivy, and upon seeing the raven dark hair and the astonishingly blue eyes, she smiled as she proved her prediction.
"Yes, Sool, as in Fowl. It has been a few months, has it not? How's the LEP suffering from your control?" Smirked Artemis, enjoying the sensation of elation as he saw the dramatic change of emotions from surprised to outraged on the gnome's features.
"Oh, only a dozen or so officers have left the service and joined Holly's squad. Short and Diggum's is becoming quite a party now… they're thinking of going onto PPTV and advertising for informants. Completely voluntary and undercover, of course." Kestrel smiled in her own spooky way – when she smirked, it looked as if dark wings would suddenly sprout from her shoulders (which could, in all probability, actually happen).
"Like to explain what you are doing here, and with a Mud Man, no less? I thought that the People weren't allowed to have dealings with humans." Frowned Ivy. She was trying her hardest not to look at Artemis, seeing as his body language was screaming at her, 'how do you know this guy?'
"They have my wife! I demand to have her back! I knew that Fowl would relapse if we didn't do something about it…"
Now this made Ivy's eyebrows jump up.
"Your wife? I thought she was caught drinking Martinis a century or so ago, wasn't she? You know, banished into the human world? How could Artemis find your wife?" Ivy was sceptical. According to rumour (and of course, Foaly's archives) Sool's wife had broken the rule of not taking spirits with the Mud Men. But that was over a century ago now. Artemis's grandfather probably hadn't even yet been conceived!
"He gave me a photo! It had my wife's arm on it!" Screamed Ark, now near to screaming his head off. He flung the single piece of paper towards them. Using her power of air to carry the photo towards her, and smiling that Artemis still hadn't noticed the air acting strangely around her, she saw a mottled green hand. She frowned. Surely a single arm was too little evidence?
"I asked that pompous centaur to run a scanning. Underneath that cloth, it's a sprite. I'd recognise that face anywhere! I stared at it everyday! It's my wife, I tell you! It's my wife, and they are holding her hostage!"
Ivy nodded. But internally, she was still raising her eyebrow. This was Artemis Fowl, not some petty criminal! And Sool? Falling to his knees for his wife? She was still really quite doubtful.
"What did Fowl tell you he would do if you didn't bring the ransom?"
"I didn't tell him to bring any money. I just told him to bring his conscience." Artemis's blue eyes were too blue to resist… shake yourself out of that trance, he's not your mum! Ivy scolded herself, turning back to Sool.
"What conscience? All I know about Sool is that he's a git and that he took over the LEP out of politics, not actions. Despite that, he's about last on my list of 'likely to commit crimes'."
At this, Sool sobbed even louder. Ivy rolled her eyes. He may have looked stuck up on the outside, but on the inside he was just a big crybaby, as he was demonstrating right now.
"Actually, no. Sool's history is quite interesting, if you bothered to read up on it, Kestrel. It doesn't exactly show that he's a man without something on his conscience."
Here, Ivy started. It wasn't often that someone knew something that she didn't. And now that she had experienced the feeling, she wasn't entirely sure whether or not she liked the plummeting sensation.
"What conscience? The man doesn't even know where the local church is, Fowl. How the heck is he going to know where he wants to look?"
Artemis had gotten over his initial surprise at Ivy coming out and greeting Sool. After all, he was only aware of three people being informed on the whereabouts and the existence of the People. But now, seeing as the other person who knew about the People was right here, he could play this to his advantage…
"Now, then, Sool. Would you care to explain to me why you're on speaking terms with my exchange partner here? I was under the impression that I was the only one who knew of your existence underground. Who found who first?" He smirked, just for the sake of driving up Sool's blood pressure. He wasn't a criminal, but he could still be evil when he wanted to be.
"What, Ivy here hasn't told you yet Fowl? I suppose that she doesn't trust you enough to know that…"
And right at that moment, Holly's foot came out of nowhere and smacked Sool right in the chest. The gnome hadn't been physically injured since his school-days, and that was just from the constant bullying he was the target of, and he immediately slumped into a faint.
Much to Holly's (and to Butler and Ivy and everyone else who was there) dismay, she didn't manage to get in a second punch. It really was a little too disappointing. Artemis, however, didn't let that hinder him. You know that phrase 'let someone walk all over you'?
Well, to Sool, it was no longer a saying, thanks to Artemis.
"His smile always did annoy me. And when the genius mind is annoyed, then psychologically speaking…"
"Psychologically speaking, according to you, the mind will tend to fall to primitive stages, generally prone to violence or violation of personal space. Now come on, Fowl, your parents will either think we're lost, or we've lost sense of time and come looking for us."
"Aww, but I want to see the arrest of Sool! Please, Artemis, say that we can stay, I want to see the guy's face!" Whined Juliet. Artemis rolled his eyes, not believing that he was in the same household as her, and Ivy just smiled, glad to have someone who was similar to Jane by her side.
The journey back to the Bentley wasn't something that either teenager enjoyed. Ivy had formed several theories about why Artemis was trying his hardest to not talk to her (a vein popping from his jaw being no indication whatsoever, of course) and Artemis, knowing full well that Ivy was just as accomplished in psychology as he was, didn't make an effort to prove otherwise.
Butler and Juliet were both more than a little astonished, Juliet a little more than Dom, and it wasn't until they reached the Bentley that Juliet had gathered enough audacity to ask,
"Why didn't you tell us that you had contacts within the little people, then?"
Ivy smiled weakly at this. Inside, she was attempting to come up with a plausible excuse. It wasn't as if she was going to tell them that she was only in contact with them because the fairy mind-wiping equipment somehow refused to work on her. That would just make them even more suspicious.
"Er… they thought that I was too innocent to mind-wipe, so they decided to train a second Foaly. You know, the centaur?" She was only too aware that they knew about Foaly. The centaur was, of course, the only other person on the earth and under it who could make Artemis's eyes widen.
Artemis, being the bothersome genius that he is, snapped at Ivy,
"Why don't you just give up this masquerade and admit it? The fairies found you only because you somehow fell down one of their chutes, and by some miracle, you were pulled out by the LEP, and they just didn't have the heart to turn someone like you into a mindless human. Am I correct?"
No, but thanks for providing me with the best excuse I've heard all this time, Arty. Thought Ivy, and began to re-inflate Artemis's ego. She was amazed that he managed to guess so quickly, she claimed, and continued to steer them away from the subject of the People. Unfortunately, Butler was not so convinced.
But he wasn't about to tell Artemis that. In some ways, Master Artemis was a lot like Commander Root. Well, with the 'get some rock hard evidence or get out of the labs until you've got some' attitude, at any rate. The story Master Artemis had provided Miss Kestrel with was plausible, as any excuse he came up with was.
So Butler had to find something that wasn't plausible to make up for it.
On evenings such as the one we are venturing onto now were the ones where Artemis and Ivy would go outside and Ivy would wander away into the woods. Artemis was not unduly worried, seeing as she was armed with her palmtop, complete with a satellite and radio communications. It was plain to anyone that if she really didn't come out, it was because she had found gold.
That evening was no different. Well, alright, maybe just the smallest bit different. This time, Artemis actually insisted that he come with her into the forest. Shrugging, Ivy pointed to the forest and said, "Be my guest."
Being brought up near woods where you could frequently step on nettles didn't exactly help Artemis. For one thing, the last time that he had consented to go for a walk with his parents was when he was about six, and didn't know that there were plants there that could make his ankles itch and hurt at the same time.
For Ivy, however, it wasn't exactly a new experience. After all, the elements included Earth, and it was perhaps Earth that worked the best with her. By the time they reached the usual spot where Ivy stayed for about half an hour every time they came out, Artemis had been scratched, bitten and had so many nettle stings that he was doing all he could not to cry out something that began with 'S' and ended with 'hit'.
"You have to tell me if its just natural instinct that keeps you from getting scratched by these brambles or just my bad luck." He grumbled, rubbing where he had fallen and grazed his knee, and wincing as he did so.
"Here, let me have a look, I've done this to myself often enough." It was true. She had requested that the Earth harmed her during her first time in a forest, so that she could learn what she needed to do to heal her own injuries. "It's a good thing that I keep a bottle of this safe with me."
She poured some of Holly's Nettle-sting formula onto several of the raw bits on Artemis's ankles. She almost swore, why did he have to wear shorts today of all days?
"This isn't poison, " she reassured him as he winced, "It's Holly's special formula. She used to get a good number of these herself above ground and you can't rely on magic too much. And don't pull away. I want to see if the badgers come out again."
Artemis was still for the rest of the session, but Ivy knew that he wasn't obliging. He was thinking of the best response.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier about your knowing the People?" He asked finally, deciding that tact really wasn't going to work very well with this Kestrel. "I wouldn't have thought you were crazy, and it's not as if you hadn't heard of me before."
A single mother badger crawled out of her sett, sniffed around, and finally decided that the two pale humans weren't about to attack her cubs, and barked for her new-born cubs to come out.
"You wouldn't tell either if you had a mother who could kill you if you disobeyed her." She murmured, and left Artemis to his own thoughts.
Excellent. I've planted the first seed. She thought, as she settled down to call the badgers to her.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long! I really am quite busy and I have about half an hour before I have to go sing in London! Even though this is probably the worst chapter yet, plz R&R!