Peripheral
By: Sonnie
Neji wondered how Shikamaru still stayed sane if he had two women to think about. Tenten was enough, taking his mind in many directions he thought his mind ought not to be going. Just as he had once believed in destiny, he had also denied the existence of love. In his mind, the two were at odds with each other, and, after accepting that fate wasn't real, wondered if love really did exist.
No one in his family showed love for anyone else…the rigid, formal behavior spoke volumes of what was appropriate and what wasn't. To overhear Tenten's father yelling "I love you!" after her when she ran off to class sounded oddly foreign, yet it was something he knew that many typical families did. She received more affection from that one man with those three words than he'd ever gotten from his entire family.
But our families are different, he reasoned. She doesn't even have a family name…and even her first means "here and there"…like her entire being is made up of flying weapons and fleeting glances and sweet smiles as she dances through existence. If I am a caged bird, then she is everything outside that cage…
Neji frowned when laughter interrupted his thoughts, the gentle sound having quite a jarring effect. He didn't need to activate Byakugan to know that Tenten was close by. From the low tones of the voice accompanying her, he figured she was with Shikamaru.
"You're going to have to choose between one of them sooner or later," Tenten told the younger ninja with a faint touch of disapproval. "You can't have them both."
"Can't I?" Shikamaru asked, but his voice was far from conceited. In fact, he sounded absolutely miserable.
"You sound like your world is coming to an end," Tenten commented.
"It is!" he wailed. "One of those girls is going to kill me, I swear!"
Neji could hear the laughter in Tenten's voice. "Then guess you have to pick the right one."
"Ugh, this is so troublesome," Shikamaru sighed disgustedly.
"Who would have guessed out of all those pretty boys…the least prettiest one would be the lady killer?" Tenten said, winking. "You've got prospects for miles."
Shikamaru eyed her. "And you don't?" he asked.
"Where?" Tenten asked, gesturing around her broadly. "I don't see any."
"Trust me, they're there," Shikamaru grumbled. "For one, Makeup Man is even more brooding than usual, and I doubt its something in the water."
"It's Kabuki paint!" Tenten said automatically. Clapping a hand over her mouth when she realized what she said, she laughed. "Now he's got me saying it too. I've been spending so much time with him we're starting to think alike."
Shikamaru gave her an unreadable look. The statement was casual but he knew she had said it more to convince herself than him. "What about Neji?"
"What about him?" Tenten said dismissively, but her eyes said a different story. Glancing down at the kunai in her hand, she flung it at a knot in the tree. It landed a centimeter from dead center.
"Tenten," Shikamaru growled, his tone warning her he wouldn't let it slide.
"It's not like we're the same," Tenten murmured softly. "I mean, Neji doesn't feel anything for me and you've got two rather strong-willed young ladies ready to duke it out for a piece of you."
"Don't remind me," groaned Shikamaru. "I finally understand why Sakura complains about getting her ass felt up so much by strangers. It's really embarrassing!"
"Temari's quite bold," Tenten commented with a smile. "And Ino turned bright red when she pulled that stunt in the market. I swear she made an old woman faint."
"I just want to be left alone," Shikamaru wailed. "At least I don't have to worry about trying to keep your hands off me."
Tenten smiled, waving her arms at him threatening as she advanced. "Oh, Shikamaru!" she cried, attempting to smother him in a dramatic embrace. "You're so sexy! Your scrawny little body turns me on! I just adore how you won't get off your lazy ass and do anything for me! I think it's so interesting that you sit around playing old man games with instructors! I love you, Shikamaru! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!"
Shikamaru swatted her arms away, a small smile on his lips despite his dismay. "It's not that funny, Tenten," he said uselessly as he fended of her 'attacks.' "They're making my life H-E-L-L. And by the way, I'm not that scrawny."
"Right," Tenten snorted, eyeing him skeptically. "I think Temari weighs as much as you." Smirking, she continued. "But just think about that if you turn her down…She could take you down in one swing!"
Shikamaru glared at her but his expression was void of venom. "At least the guys interested in you keep their hands to themselves…" Shikamaru trailed off, remembering a few past instances. He grinned before continuing, "…when they're smart."
"But some of them are really, really stupid," Tenten reminded him with a sad shake of her head.
"Yet they all pay for it in the end," Shikamaru finished gracefully. "But maybe a broken nose is too much."
"I gave him a warning," Tenten muttered. "But it's not like I get any worthwhile attention. No one likes me, Shikamaru!"
He smiled at her mock tragic tone yet knew there was a certain amount of truth in her words.
"I don't need you being the female equivalent of Sasuke," Shikamaru reminded her. "It's better for me that way."
"And why's that?" Tenten challenged gruffly, but laughed at just how rude his statement was.
"You're not always thinking about ways to captivate men's interest," Shikamaru said distantly, obviously remembering one of Ino or Temari's stunts.
"It's not that I want them to fight over me like they do with Sakura or Hinata," Tenten began, "but that isn't ever going to happen. Sometimes male attention is nice. I like feeling like a woman, believe it or not. Everyone seems to think that the slightest feminine tendencies are weaknesses."
"You're right, and it's quite unfair," Shikamaru said. "It's probably why Temari has such a tough skin; she doesn't and can't afford to be perceived as weak."
"Neji and Lee always made me feel weak when I wanted to act like a woman," Tenten said. "But Kankurou doesn't make me feel like that. He makes me feel attractive. I'm not really used to that but it's sort of…satisfying. That doesn't make me bad, does it?"
Shikamaru snorted. "You're seeking vindication of your gender," he said. "I don't think there's anything wrong with that."
Tenten nodded listlessly. She was leaning against a tree with a look that Neji would nauseatingly call dreamy. Staring up at where the forest canopy scattered light, she smiled and sighed.
"You know what?" Tenten whispered, a little gleam in her eye.
"…What?" Shikamaru was a tad weirded out…she could be silly sometimes, yes, but he'd never seen her act like Ino or Sakura and this was coming dangerously close to what he deemed as Sasuke-worship type behavior.
"Actually…someone does like me," Tenten giggled, the noise causing Neji to frown. "And it's just so wonderful that I don't believe it's really happening. It hasn't sunk in yet."
"And what makes this romance so wonderful?" Shikamaru asked her, raising a slender eyebrow. "What's he like?"
"Well," Tenten said proudly, straightening up. "He's about this tall." Demonstrating, she raised the flat palm of her hand about six inches above her head. "And he has really soft, silky hair." She smiled as another giggle escaped. "And he has such a nice voice when he speaks, which really isn't all that much but I always find myself looking forward to it."
Neji's brain was currently befuddled. It could literally be any man; if she hadn't used a gender specific pronoun it could have technically been any woman.
"And last night we went into the woods and he serenaded me with his violin," Tenten's cheeks were bright red and her giggling wouldn't subside. Shikamaru looked mildly alarmed at her reaction.
"What song?" he asked curiously.
What man? Neji wondered furiously.
"Meditation from Thais," Tenten said with a gentle smile. "It's one of my favorites, actually. He must have asked one of the girls, because I don't think any of the guys other than you knows I listen to classical music. It would destroy my reputation."
"This infernal giggling would destroy your reputation," Shikamaru told her thornily, scowling when she mussed his hair affectionately.
"But you won't tell anyone," Tenten said shrewdly. "Or I'll tell them all why Ino nearly killed you two weeks ago."
"It wasn't my fault!" Shikamaru wailed. "Temari threw a bra in with my stuff and Ino just happened to volunteer to help me unpack."
"It was quite a racy one, if I remember your account correctly," Tenten teased.
"I like black underwear," Shikamaru said stiffly. "And yes, lace helps."
"Now did Temari know this already from experience or was it just a lucky guess?" Tenten asked him coyly, laughing at the dark glare he gave her.
"I think you should tell me who your admirer is," Shikamaru said.
"You don't even care," Tenten told him flat out. "You just want some information to blackmail me with."
Shikamaru blinked. "Actually, yeah," he said, shrugging. Smiling, he watched her carefully. "I just hope it's not Kabuki Man. If he's head-over-heels enough to serenade you then we're all in trouble. The last thing I need to deal with is two love-stricken shinobis. I don't need you suddenly becoming troublesome because so far you're the only female remotely on my side."
"Honestly, Shikamaru, it's not a war," Tenten muttered. "But I'd never presume to tell you who to pick."
"I'd never tell you to pick between Neji and this new guy," Shikamaru said simply. "And I know it's Kankurou."
Ignoring him, Tenten pressed on. "I don't have the right to make a choice like that considering Neji hasn't acknowledged my existence beyond that of a teammate," Tenten said, her tone sorrowful. "There are stronger, more beautiful girls out there…maybe that's what he wants. At any rate, he hasn't ever treated me like a woman."
Shikamaru shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't know how," he offered half-heartedly. "I doubt it's personal."
Tenten sighed, burying her head in her hands, good mood having completely evaporated. "What do I do, Shikamaru?" she asked him. Her voice raw and her eyes pained, she was genuinely conflicted. "It's all so new and wonderful and I'm afraid I'll close my eyes and it'll all disappear. Or I worry that I'll wake up having imagined it all. Ninjas aren't meant to fall in love, are we? I mean, I could die or he could die…I'm worried about it and we're not even serious. Is it wrong to want something like that? Something beautiful and fleeting and delicate?"
Shikamaru looked at her silently for a moment. "No, it's not wrong at all," he said quietly. "I don't honestly know what to say. You like to fight more than I like to lead, but we're both equally good at what we do. I lead because I'm a strategist and I want to protect my friends. You fight because it makes you feel alive…and being in love is affirmation of your desire to feel that way."
"God, all this rhetorical nonsense," Tenten hissed, frustrated. Throwing herself backwards, she landed flat on her back. The blowing trees scattered the light so it danced across her face. "Why does one guy have to like me and the other one hate me?"
"Tenten," Shikamaru said seriously, "I don't think Neji hates you. Granted, he's not much of a talker…or even a listener as far as I know…but that's what makes Neji…well, Neji. Kankurou is a puppeteer and a Kabuki actor…his entire existence revolves around self-expression. I hate to sound negative, but unless Neji has an attitude adjustment he's never going to be able to give you the same kind of consideration that Kankurou does. If Neji does turn his attention on you, it won't manifest itself in all those romantic ways you think you might want."
Tenten's head turned to look at him, her ponytail swishing. "Why do you have to be so damned logical?" she asked him tiredly.
"To make women angry," he said, absolutely serious. "I'm not good at comforting people, Tenten, and you know that. You talk to me because you want honesty."
Tenten looked thoughtful. "That's true," she sighed. "But if Neji felt anything at all…I mean, how could he not say anything?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "That's something you'd have to discuss with Neji," he said simply, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Anyway, I gotta head back. You coming along?"
Tenten shook her head, closing her eyes against the sunlight. "I'll be back later," she said softly.
"Just be careful," Shikamaru advised. "Even though we're in the woods right outside Konoha it's still dangerous."
"Yes, mother," she grumbled.
Shikamaru turned to leave, but paused. Walking back over to her, he knelt beside her with a very serious expression on her face.
"Can I ask you something, Tenten?" he inquired quietly.
"Sure," Tenten said, wondering what on earth he was going to ask that made him so serious.
"…Is Kankurou any good on the violin?"
"Idiot, get back to Konoha!" Tenten yelled, giving him a good shove considering she was laying on the ground.
Laughing, Shikamaru climbed to his feet in an effort to avoid her wrath. "Sorry, sorry," he told her, his smile very clearly indicating he wasn't sorry at all. Or in Tenten's mind, not sorry enough, at least not yet.
Shikamaru waved to her as he walked away, stopped only when Tenten called his name.
"Hey, Shikamaru," she said, a smile in her voice.
"Yeah?" he asked, turning around, hands in his pockets.
"He's quite talented," she said, giving him a firm nod. "Just don't tell Temari. She won't let him live it down."
Shikmaru nodded in response as he walked off.
Women.
-O-
Neji watched silently as Tenten continued to lay on the forest floor, fiddling idly with one of her weapons. Having already memorized them so well over the years she wasn't chancing accidentally injury, even though the way she handled it was careless. Staring up once again at the sky, she began to hum mindlessly, not caring how much she didn't seem like a ninja. She was almost nineteen years old but hadn't ever really felt like an awkward teenage girl.
Isn't funny how I get to feel like one now? Tenten thought wryly, glancing down at the gleaming metal edge of the kunai. She very carefully drew the tip along the pad of her index finger, drawing a tiny drop of blood.
"My love is like a red, red rose," she murmured.
"That's newly sprung in June," Neji finished, causing Tenten to reflexively hurl the kunai at him. Plucking it out the air with cool precision, he dropped his arm at his side.
"Neji, it isn't polite to sneak up on people," Tenten scolded, angrier with herself for not noticing him.
"You're a ninja, Tenten, I'm not supposed to be able to sneak up on you," Neji said superiorly.
Wincing at the truth, Tenten crossed her arms across her chest, turning her head away from him pointedly. "I didn't know you read poetry."
"I don't," Neji told her truthfully. "I just remember Lee sprouting it one day about Sakura, although he was trying to insert the color green in the second stanza."
Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Tenten turned her head back to him. "That really, really wouldn't work," she said.
Neji smirked. "It didn't stop him from trying," he said.
"Nothing ever does," Tenten muttered fondly. She knew it would be polite to be standing or at least sitting up to talk, but her limbs seemed drained of energy and her mind seemed drained of reason.
"So…how well does Kankurou play the violin, really?" Neji asked her suddenly.
Tenten inhaled sharply. He must have heard everything…
"I meant what I said," Tenten told him in a hard voice. "He's very good."
"Oh really?" Neji drawled, dropping her kunai beside her where she snatched it up.
"Yes!" Tenten said sharply. Her expression softened as she remembered it. "He plays so perfectly…the melodies are sweet but he shows admirable restraint—nothing too sappy or sentimental to mar how lovely the notes already are. But it's so elegant the way he plays…he romances every tune and cherishes it…"
Unsettled by her lush descriptions, Neji wondered briefly if this was the cliché moment where he'd seen his teammate as more than a comrade. It wasn't one of those stories where he'd accidentally seen her bathing or when he'd caught her doing something embarrassingly girly, but it was in relaying a simple description where he'd seen a different side to her. How many ninjas were still able to find poetry in the world when they'd killed and watch others die?
Neji remembered the year Tenten had spent as an ANBU. She had been very skilled, yes. But after returning from each mission she'd seemed a bit off. Not hysterical over the gruesome nature of the job nor harshly cynical, but only the slightest bit distant when he caught her unaware. She had been a bit of a daydreamer when she was younger and apparently that hadn't gone away. But her eyes were different when he caught her staring off into space.
When Tenten announced she was leaving ANBU, he had been relieved. Despite her skills he knew the ANBU captain had secretly been relieved as well. Not that Tenten was in any way unreliable, it was just that she wasn't showing any outward signs that she was bothered by what she was doing. For someone like her to be that stoic…Neji wasn't sure he wanted to know what happened.
"Neji, are you okay?" Tenten asked him concernedly.
"I'm fine," he told her, his expression unreadable. He looked through the trees to where Konoha could be glimpsed in the distance. "I'm going home. You should head back soon, too."
"You're not jealous, are you?" Tenten asked after him playfully, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Neji looked back, pausing. "Why would I be?" he asked her puzzledly, frowning before his steps resumed.
Watching him walk away, Tenten sighed tiredly, rolling over on her stomach before pushing herself up to her feet.
"Yeah…why would you be?" she whispered, letting her kunai drop from her fingers.