Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer, I do not own Artemis Fowl, and the only characters in this story that are my own… do I really need to type them out?
Chapter 10 – In which their most interesting conversation of the week is interrupted by a Mach 15
Artemis wasn't exactly accustomed to sitting somewhere that allowed him to be exposed to insect bites, wetness and cold. So I suppose that you could say that sitting in the middle of the woods for ten minutes, staring at the badgers as they came out and attended to daily (or nightly, Artemis mused) events, was almost more educational than a week at school.
However, a few events that happened afterwards also have to be taken into account. These made the ten minutes all the more interesting.
The first of these was that five or so mushrooms started to act surprisingly human. Artemis had, it must be admitted, seen much more frightening things (like a reptilian creature holding a gun to his forehead) but not quite as supernatural as this. After he had somehow contained himself and gathered the courage to do so, he lifted himself steadily off the ground, and backed slowly away from the dancing fungi.
Now this, he thought as he tried to head back to Fowl Manor, is something worth looking into.
Unfortunately for him, Ivy had somehow intercepted his way back and was standing right in front of him, with the massive manservant at his side. The small fact that she had managed to find him so quickly (A/N: he had been wearing the deflectors he had patented… it basically deflects any electronic signals) was soon drowned by the fact that thousands of little grass blades were trying to get up his trousers.
"Master Artemis, your parents are about to send for the army to find you, what were you doing here?" Reprimanded Butler, trying not to laugh whilst Artemis tried to halt the blades of grass climbing up his trouser leg.
"I'm… communicating with nature." It was the lamest ever excuse he had used within his fourteen years on Earth (and under it).
"Yes, but don't you think that you're communicating with nature a little too intimately right now?" Smirked Ivy, obviously enjoying herself.
"What do you want, Kestrel?" Demanded Artemis, not being so far from normal teenage thinking that he didn't retort when insulted.
Somehow, two teenagers glaring daggers at one another didn't quite fill up Butler's time wholesomely. I wonder if this is going to affect my judgement when Juliet tries to set me up with someone, Butler mused, stepping in before any blood was spilt (and, taking into account Ivy's talents, it was probably going to be Master Artemis's blood).
"Master Artemis, Ivy has a little confession to make through me." Butler had to bite his tongue to refrain from groaning when Artemis gave his best vampire smile treatment, and mocked,
"Oh, and I thought that her confession of her being an idiot had already been admitted."
It was perhaps a very good thing that Ivy had had practise over the years to keep a reign over her emotions; otherwise she may have just obliterated Artemis there and then. Of course, it may have just been good manners that made her force a smile and ask Butler,
"If you please, Domovoi, I need to sort out this little misunderstanding. Care to tell him about my family's supernatural side?"
It didn't escape anyone's attention that a spark of lightning struck at her feet at that second. It left the earth black, and left a very shaken Ivy staring at the sky. She couldn't believe how difficult this was going to be, nor how frightening.
"Butler, something tells me that you're going to say everything before I venture to say anything. Unless you want another thunder bolt right about now."
Butler nodded. The last thing on all their minds was to have another bolt of electricity obliterate someone right in front of their eyes… Artemis had already seen fairy deaths (or at least, ugly fairy accidents)… he wanted to confine these to the fairy species.
"Artemis, something tells me you want to sit down." Butler was being very calm, which nowadays generally meant that Artemis was about to get surprised… and Artemis Fowl the Second did not like getting surprises.
"What is it Butler? What do you need to tell me?" Despite the fact that Artemis was quite angry with Ivy (partly for managing to find him and partly for making him talk to her), he was still aware of the fact that Dom was ominously quiet.
"Our little friend here," Butler nodded towards Ivy, who didn't even dare to move a muscle at the moment, "has some supernatural things that she hasn't revealed to us yet. Mostly things related to something that has just been demonstrated."
"Speak in plain words, Butler, I'm not in the best of moods today… I need plain English." Snapped Artemis, his head spinning slightly from trying to figure out what Dom was trying to say.
"She can control the elements, Artemis. Earth, Lightning, Air, Water, Fire… but they can, apparently, be used against her as well." Ivy tensed, hoping that what she had heard from Holly was true, and the two humans were quite flexible on the 'humans are the most intelligent life forms' rule that pretty much predated even Jesus' birth.
"What does he mean, Ivy? And I take it that if it is true, then I have you to thank for the pieces of grass who find being up my trousers so interesting?"
Ivy bit her lip. Now came the difficult part. Backing away several paces, she raised her hands in the ancient salute taught to her by Beryl deep underground. She was really hoping that this would work; otherwise she had just bargained all of their lives and lost the bargain.
Being in control of the elements also made them a master of you. Fortunately, the five ancient elements, before the periodic table came into existence, were probably the only things that were used for scientific experimentation. And even now, they were demanded everywhere… so their attention couldn't have been fixed onto one girl all the time… or at least, that was the hypothesis.
"Lightning spirit, I summon thee,
As I will it, come to me!"
The bolt of lightning, clearer, brighter and much more real for some reason, flashed into existence. When the smelting of the grass had been complete, a form, seemingly sexless and without clear features appeared on the grass. Wordlessly, Ivy dropped to the ground, placed her hands onto it, and muttered what sounded like an apology. The grass suddenly took in the ashes, and immediately grew out new ones.
"Earth creatures… always so sullen. They take months to grow out new creatures after their old leave. Such a waste of time." The voice that came from the being seemed louder, more penetrating than any human voice could manage. The two humans present almost shrank away.
The eyes that were the only coloured feature on the individual's face spared them a glance, and averted its gaze once again to Ivy, who returned it with the same intensity. "Have you finally come round to breaking my hold on you? I was wondering what was taking you so long." There was almost a race of amusement hidden beneath that stare. "I suppose that you need to be released now. Do I need to summon thee, mine brethren?"
Immediately, four other spirits appeared out of nowhere. A tanned creature with vivid green eyes, hair and clothes emerged from the earth, a slight shimmer in the air revealed one of the most beautiful being that anyone had ever seen, and with one fluid motion, a blue form twisted out of the earth, and landed in front of Ivy. They all regarded the two humans, whose eyes were literally bulging now, and sighed collectively. These people all seemed to be sexless, but at the same time coldly beautiful.
"What hast thou done now, my daughter? Is not breaking our vows enough to satisfy thee?" Sighed the blue form, shaking her head as if amused. Ivy felt a heat run up her face as she blushed. Changing the subject, she asked, in the same flowery (and useless speech… why did they insist on using it?),
"Mine uncle, Fire, has not attended. Prithee, where is thy brother?" She knew very well where he was… she just needed one small slip of attention, just to gather her bearings. Meeting with her uncles and aunts really did make her nervous… and only one thing in the mortal world made her nervous. She wasn't used to the emotion.
"He is still sulking on the subject of your outsmarting him, my niece. He shall not attend this time. He has sent me to represent him." This came from the shimmer in the air. Ivy grinned. Aunt Air was so scatter-brained that she could hardly remember that she had also lost hold on Ivy. Aunt air was never one to bear grudges.
"What dost thou propose to do on thine present situation, my daughter? Wilt thou erase the memories of thy companions… or wilt thou die with them?" Lightning and Water had always been severe… but they were the only ones who called Ivy 'my daughter'. Ivy sighed, finally gathering the loophole in her head, ready to shoot at them.
"Unfortunately, mine parents, you cannot legally claim my life upon this small and trivial event. Mine mother hath made me promise to do all within mine power to stop Artemis Fowl," She indicated the pale youth to them, who had regained parts of his composure somewhat and was steadying himself upon a tree, "from finding mine true identity. Thou didst not bind me to not tell any of his human associates."
"She speaks the truth, Cousin Lightning. We cannot hold this against her. But we are still entitled to take the lives of the humans." For he first time, a frown came upon the perfect blue features of Water. "I never thought that she was as cold as this when she was chosen."
This surprised Ivy, but not enough. Somehow, her mind was always slightly fuzzy when it came to speaking with the elements. "Mother mine, you are not even entitled to take their lives. I cannot control them… they are part of human nature. Even I have human nature within me. We cannot refuse its calling of curiosity. Butler there had even began to suspect I had some supernatural powers even before I had told him. And he is obviously not the one thou hast forbidden me to reveal my secret to."
Something passed between them all. It seemed that a decision had been reached. It almost seemed as if the very universe was waiting upon that single decision now.
"Daughter mine, there is sense within this." Ivy sighed slightly, but she could clearly hear a 'but'. "However… we have had this several times. We cannot let it escape unnoticed. A craft will come shortly. You must stop the crossing of realities again. There was a reason to your coming here with thine mother." Lightning turned towards the sky again, but stopped and turned to face his tiny charge once again. "Incidentally, daughter mine… thy choice does not have right or wrong within it. It only hath thine decision to change the fate of the worlds."
The four immortal beings seemed to sink back into the surrounding area, leaving a relieved teenage girl and two stunned humans staring at where the conversation had just been held. Artemis, obviously, was the first to speak.
"Can't you look nervous, even before those noticeably dominant figures?" Well, not on the subject, but it was something.
"Ah. Well, why don't we discuss that back at the house? I'm sure that your parents are quite worried by now." Evasive, but it did work. Five minutes later, they were surrounded by the two fretting parents, ordering the pair of them to take a shower and to make sure there weren't any possible infections on their cuts.
After they had both been checked head to foot on where there were any possibilities of cuts and bruises by their bodyguards, the two teenagers met in the music room to confer what happened that day.
You had to congratulate Artemis and Butler. Granted, they had seen fairies with handguns, bombs that targeted living cells, trolls, dwarves, goblins, shuttles… but nothing could have measured up to what had happened then. Artemis was the more collected of the two, and he was still shaking slightly.
"Kestrel, I think it's time that you finally told us exactly what you are." He deliberately used 'what'. It seemed to make no impression upon the girl whatsoever.
"As you've just seen, I'm obviously not a normal human. But I'm not fairy either. I'm sure that you've downloaded most of Foaly's files onto your laptop, Artemis. Show them to me, and I'll point out the section that you need."
Hesitating, Butler reached for the laptop and handed it to the diminutive girl. Filing through the files with practised ease, she came across the fairy words, 'Inter-reality Files – Class Alpha-Alpha-Beta' Ivy had to admit, she was a little disappointed that the file hadn't been 'Alpha-Alpha-Alpha', indicating that the security would be even tighter, and she managed to get the entire file translated in under a minute.
"I take it that you've already translated most of these files then? Or only the ones that you took an interest in?" Asked Ivy casually, highlighting the relevant passage and turning it to Artemis.
"The latter of the two, Kestrel. And how on earth did you manage to get into my files? I thought that the fairy files were in the same folder as…" He paled, if that were at all possible. He looked from the screen to Ivy, his eyes uncomprehending, but Ivy had no doubts as to what state his mind was in.
"You… you're… your mother… your life… your powers…" Finally, he had come to the stage where Ivy could soothe him. She was wondering when he would finally hit on the fact that she wasn't from the same world as he was.
"Yes, my mother and I came over to this world through Foaly's tried and failed inter-reality transporter. He had this obscure dream of creating an industry where you can just get to another world for a holiday… unfortunately, the machine needs energy. Much more energy than what the People can produce."
She paused, letting it sink in. Finally, he took a deep breath, and calmly said, "You'd better explain all of this to me. I don't generally enjoy being ignorant, and this time is not exempt from any other."
So she did.
A day later, the two teenagers were talking again, and they had a much wider range of things to talk about. Mostly Ivy, and sometimes computers, and even psychology when Artemis was in a strange mood. Grudgingly, Ivy had to admit that she was having the most interesting conversation in two days with Artemis now.
"The one you called Lightning mentioned something about a craft. What was he talking about?" Asked Artemis when Ivy had finally given up trying to teach him how to play the flute. He simply didn't have the lung capacity for it.
"Oh, he's got a very strange sense of time. They all do. And a craft can mean anything. Most likely he misread readings from deep space and he's calculated that some satellite it coming down to earth again." Ivy dismissed the theory, and tried to force a clarinet into Artemis's hands when she heard a deep rumbling noise outside.
And that deep rumbling noise seemed horribly familiar.
"Oh no. She actually managed to complete that threat." Sighed Ivy, running out of the room with Artemis hot on her heels.
"Who are you talking about?" Artemis inquired, trying to keep up with the surprisingly fast girl.
"My mother. She threatened to take me to see my uncle Spiro. He's so stupid, always playing around with his stupid ID bracelet… why have you stopped?" Artemis had, indeed, stopped dead in his tracks at the mention of 'Spiro'. "Oh. That."
And they both knew what she was talking about.
Outside, Mrs Fowl and Mrs Kestrel were having a very friendly conversation, Melissa switching on her full charm. Her gaze went over to Ivy, and she frowned at her when Ivy's self-control threatened to release itself. She nodded to Angeline, and came over to the two children.
"Good news, kids. We're all going to Chicago! You know that your uncle Spiro's dying to see you, Ivy, and I thought that your new friend there could come with us! We'll have them back by tomorrow!" It was all a cover, and Ivy knew it. Her mother had obviously been visited by Lightning, and she wasn't that happy about what news it brought to her, either.
Artemis Fowl the Second looked at the jet, and then looked at Ivy, raising one graceful eyebrow. "Tomorrow? I would have thought that we'd at least miss half of Monday when we do manage to get back." He was sceptical, but that was about to change.
"Didn't I mention that my father was in MI5? This jet goes Mach 15. We'll be back before lunchtime tomorrow as long as mother doesn't decide to do some early Christmas shopping in Chicago." Ivy's tone was almost mournful as they climbed into the jet and away to face her uncle, and Artemis's human arch-enemy, Jon Spiro.