Silver Lining
Chapter Seven: Hopes and Fears
It was still raining. That was the first thought in Sakura's mind as she slowly emerged from her deep sleep. She could hear it falling softly against the roof and window; the last vestiges of the passing storm. The sound was soothing, and she sighed and snuggled deeper into the warmth surrounding her.
She felt very groggy but also incredibly tranquil. Her eyes were still heavy and stiff from her colossal breakdown, and when she sleepily opened them the first thing she saw was the dark zigzag pattern of the seal on Deidara's chest. They were facing each other, their arms around one another in what had been a tight embrace now loosened by sleep. His fingers were still woven into her hair, and she pressed her face to his chest, pursing her lips against his skin.
Sakura couldn't believe she'd just fallen apart like that…all from his simple declaration that she wasn't alone anymore, that he was with her. But a breakdown had probably been a long time coming, and Deidara, his words and actions and mere presence, had been the trigger that brought all her walls crashing down. He made her feel cared for, and he represented possibilities that her battered and broken heart had needed and reached for desperately. He was right about her, about everything. She had been running from her grief, hiding herself away to avoid any possibility of pain. Like she'd been wandering through a cold and impenetrable fog, aimless and trapped. Deidara was the wind that had blown it all away, the bright warm light of the sun breaking through to show her the way out. He had no idea how much he'd helped her.
He also had no idea how cute he was when sleeping. His boyish features were usually countered by cocky and roguish expressions when he was awake, but now he just looked sweet and adorable. If he knew that he would probably never sleep around other people again. Sakura shifted a little and carefully raised her hand to brush some of those long pale strands away from his face. He looked tired, a slight shadow under his closed eyes as if he'd stayed awake long into the night. Maybe he'd stayed awake to comfort her if she needed it. The thought of Deidara doing something like that was a little odd, but then he'd always sort of treated her differently than he treated other people.
She would make sure to show him how much she appreciated everything he'd done for her…but later. She had exhausted herself to the point of collapse yesterday, and she was still very tired. Right now she just wanted to lie here, and he was warm and comfortable and smelled good too, so she cuddled closer and closed her eyes with a contented sigh.
When she woke again it was to Deidara pulling her closer against his chest, his hand caressing up her back. He was just waking up, and as their eyes met she gave him a soft smile. "Hi."
His features broke out into a drowsy grin. "Hi," he murmured, letting his settle on her waist.
"It's still raining," she said with small amusement.
His gaze lost focus for a second as he listened, then he gave a lazy shrug. "I guess we're staying inside today, yeah." He rolled into her and gently pushed her onto her back so he could lay half on top of her with his face buried in the crook of her neck.
Sakura stretched like a cat beneath him. "Sounds good to me," she sighed, and brought her arms around him to comb gently through his long, mussed hair.
Deidara propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at her. "Did you sleep okay?" he asked quietly.
Sakura nodded. "Better than I have in years, actually."
He studied her a moment. Her jade eyes were bloodshot, but lucid and unguarded…and happy. His lips curled in a small smile. "Good," he said. Her eyes were still slightly puffy, the tops of her cheeks tinted pink from overstrained blood vessels, and her hair was a mess. She would probably say she looked terrible. But he thought she looked adorable, beautiful, because this was the real Sakura. The unguarded Sakura, the girl he'd known and admired all those years ago. She wasn't hiding anymore.
She reached up to touch his face with soft fingertips. "Thank you…for pulling me out of that place. I don't think I could have done it without you."
Deidara stared at her, his expression again unreadable. Then he shook his head dismissively. "I'm just glad you're okay now," he said quietly.
Her fingers trailed down his cheek and along his jaw. "Are you okay? You look tired…did you stay awake late?"
Something flickered across his expression, but was quickly gone. "I'm fine, yeah," he said lightly. He lay back down and his arm closed around her waist. She cradled his head against her chest and continued to play with his hair, and he closed his eyes. "The exhibition is tomorrow night," he said after a moment.
"The sword will probably arrive sometime today," she said absently. She was enjoying this idle interlude, and wished they didn't have to get up at all.
"When it does I'll know, but it probably won't happen until dark." He began to play with and loosen the belt of the robe she'd fallen asleep in. With his other hand he pulled on the neckline, revealing her collarbone and part of her shoulder, and he began to place lazy kisses along her exposed skin.
Sakura smiled and shifted a bit to allow him to pull her robe further from her shoulder. "What do we do all day, then?" she asked with a hint of mischief.
Deidara gave her a look that said exactly what he wanted to do all day, and then he was kissing her, slow and lazy and quickly becoming more heated. He rose up on his elbows to lean over her, and she shifted under him and caressed up his sides as their tongues danced. He was so good at it that everything but him was rapidly losing focus and she sighed blissfully and prepared herself for more of last night's ecstasy.
Then her stomach suddenly gave a loud, plaintive growl.
Deidara pulled back to look at her with a raised eyebrow, and she blushed with mild embarrassment. "I guess I'm a little hungry," she said with a small laugh.
"Apparently." He gave her another brief but thorough kiss and finally sat up. "I'll order something from room service. What do you want?"
She was tempted to say 'you,' but then she probably wouldn't get food for several hours at least. So she playfully replied, "One of everything."
Deidara shook his head, amused. "You eat like a pig, yeah. You'd better be careful or you'll be a fat old lady someday."
She raised her chin defiantly. "No I won't, I'm a medic; I can just speed up my metabolism to burn it off." She sat up and linked her arms around his neck, rising up on her knees to partially straddle him. "Besides, you can't expect me not to have an appetite after all that activity yesterday, and you did drag me away from my dinner…" she said in a playful, sultry tone.
"Hm." He smirked wickedly, his hands roaming up her bare thighs and over her hips under the robe.
His lips were dangerous territory, so she kissed his nose instead. "I'm going to take a shower before breakfast gets here." She went to get up, but his hands applied pressure to keep her in place.
"Want some company?" he murmured while bending to kiss and nibble the side of her neck.
Sakura shivered and resisted temptation. "Maybe next time. You were going to order breakfast, remember? Besides, if you joined me I doubt I'd actually get to do much bathing."
Deidara chuckled and moved his hands over her bare hips again. "Then hurry up and go before I remember you're naked under that robe, yeah." She smiled playfully at him before getting up and heading to the bathroom.
When she was gone Deidara sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had stayed awake late, because Sakura crying in her sleep had agitated him to the point where he couldn't sleep until she stopped, which hadn't been for quite some time. What bothered him most was that it bothered him so much, that it had invoked some dormant instinctive reaction in him.
Deidara was not a compassionate person. He was selfish and insensitive, and even a bit mean. He knew it, and had always been perfectly fine with it. He was alarmed by his reaction to her, because it was completely foreign to him. He'd always known she was different, that his feelings for her ran on a different level, but now they were veering off into unknown territory. He felt compromised somehow, like she was changing his very nature, making him contradict things about himself that he'd always been so sure of.
The fiercely independent, nonconformist part of him wanted to rebel loudly and defiantly. But rebelling meant pushing her away, and he knew for a fact that was something he did not want to do. Truthfully he was happy when he was with her, even when she was difficult and irritating. He loved lying with her like they just were, relaxing as she played with his hair and touched him in such a soothing way. Sakura's affections were genuinely tender, not absentminded and superficial like he was used to from other women. The last person to touch him in a truly caring way had been his mother, over twenty years ago. He'd never thought about and never missed it, but he supposed it was something all humans secretly needed, no matter how heartless they thought they were.
And now that Deidara had it, he was addicted. Being lovers with Sakura was a like a whole new experience. He'd always made sure to please a woman in bed, to demonstrate the mastery of his art and to feed his own ego more than anything else. But with Sakura it went to a whole new level; when they were intimate he felt connected to her in more than the obvious way. It was far better than it had ever been with anyone else. He guessed maybe it was what was referred to as lovemaking, as opposed to fucking. Well…maybe not the first time…that had been pretty wild and primitive. But after, when they'd come to bed… Just thinking about it was heating his blood, sending it straight to a certain part of his anatomy. No cheap floozy picked up in a bar to satisfy a physical urge could ever compare to what he felt and did with Sakura.
He wanted her. He'd wanted her for a very long time and he had no intention of pushing her away, especially now that he'd finally brought the true Sakura back. Deidara was not the type to deny himself what he wanted, even in the interest of self-preservation. He was just reckless like that. He was a risk-taker. But the things he felt for her scared him, and they were getting stronger every day. He wasn't sure how to define it or what to think about anything anymore.
Sakura sighed and relaxed under the hot stream of water, mechanically going through her bathing routine as her mind processed the last few days. Today was the first day in years she'd woken up with a positive outlook. She was looking forward to the day. She was happy.
The events of yesterday—the fight and the resulting crash of their wild joining, the hours of incredible passion afterward, and finally her overwhelming breakdown…the whole thing had been a cathartic experience. Now she felt like she could finally begin to heal.
It was all because of Deidara, because he cared about her and wouldn't put up with her self-destruction, because she cared about him so much in return. Sakura never thought she would get close to another person, and certainly never intended to be intimate with a man again. If she hadn't met Deidara again, she never would have. They had a pre-existing connection, and trust, and attraction. It had surfaced toward the end of her time with Akatsuki, but she'd already been with Itachi and it was too late to see where it might lead. She didn't regret the way things happened, and wouldn't have changed anything because Itachi had taught her a lot about herself. And the years she spent with Kakashi had been the happiest of her life. She had loved him with all her heart and soul, and he her. When he died she didn't think she'd be able to go on, and in a way she hadn't.
But life always goes on, and now it had led her here to this point, and if one wanted to think in terms of fate, perhaps the connection she'd made with Deidara all those years ago had been for this specific purpose—to save her from despair when she'd become incapable of saving herself. If he hadn't been here and hadn't been him, she would still be that ghost woman, that empty shell just waiting to die.
Deidara was right when he said that wasn't the kind of existence her loved ones would want for her. Sakura had always known it, but without them she didn't see any other way to be. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to smile about, no one to love, and so she had simply existed. She knew it was wrong. In a way it was a dishonor to them and the sacrifices they'd made.
The possibility of losing Kakashi had always been there, in the back of her mind. He had been the village's best shinobi, assigned the most dangerous missions imaginable, and he was getting older. She'd always known in theory, but it still hadn't made it any easier to lose him. But Kakashi had known and accepted it, and he told her once that he wanted her to live and love again if something ever happened to him. Sakura refused to have that conversation at the time, stubbornly blinding herself to the very real probability that he wouldn't survive the war. Kakashi would want this for her, she knew. She'd had no secrets from him; he knew everything about her time with Akatsuki and her lasting affections for those who survived. If he saw her now with Deidara, she believed he would be happy she'd reunited with him. He had been a very selfless and kind-hearted man underneath his aloof exterior. It was one of the things she loved most about him.
And Naruto…who had been with her through everything, the last of her family to leave her…his last words were a wish for Sakura to find a way to survive without them and be happy again someday. She hadn't kept that promise very well…but now, she felt like she wanted to try. She wanted to live again.
Sakura hadn't realized she'd begun crying again, thinking about them, until just now when the tiled spot on the wall she'd been staring at for the last ten minutes blurred out of focus. She sighed and turned her face to the water to wash away her tears. Moving on was hard, but it was what they would all want for her, and she now realized she wanted it for herself.
But that brought up a whole other set of issues. Mostly about Deidara and herself, and the direction their relationship was going. They had crossed the line from friends to lovers. She was okay with that, more than okay actually, but what about him? He wanted her physically, that much was obvious and she'd known it for some time. He cared about her, and they were close friends. But the combination of those things didn't always indicate the desire for a serious relationship, especially with men. Especially with men like him, who were vehemently set about their independence and unwillingness to blend in with society's rules. When it came to women Deidara was a self-admitted hit-and-run type. He'd made jokes about it in the past, which she had scolded him for. She even remembered hearing Tobi and Kisame talk about it: how he got all the best women when they were on missions because of how handsome he was—they used the word 'pretty'—and how women were always attracted to his volatile and potentially dangerous character.
Sakura knew that wasn't what Deidara was doing with her, knew she was more to him than a one-nighter or meaningless fling. What she was unsure of was how much more she was to him. What did he think about this new development between them? What did he want from her, and how far did he want it to go?
What would happen when this mission was over?
Now that Sakura had a source of comfort and happiness in her life again, she didn't want to let it go. But what was she going to do? Attach herself to Deidara and tag along wherever he went after this so she didn't have to be alone again? That wasn't right, and she didn't want to weigh him down if he was happier by himself. She didn't even really know what she wanted from this yet, only that she didn't want to go back to being that isolated and lonely shell of a person. She should just talk to him about it, but it had only been a day since everything changed and she wasn't just going to throw something like that at him. Especially since she didn't know what her own answers would be. In reality, their time on this mission and in this beautiful place was coming to an end. Soon they would have to decide where to go and what to do next. He'd offered to take her to see Kisame, and she was really looking forward to it, but what would happen after that?
Sakura was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of the shower door opening. She whirled around as Deidara step into the steamy glass enclosure and shut the door behind him with a very mischievous grin.
"Deidara! What are you doing?" She'd been so caught up in her thoughts she hadn't heard the bathroom door open and had no idea how long he'd been standing there. Long enough to strip naked without her noticing, the sneaky little devil.
"I need a shower too, yeah. You've had long enough," he said, stepping up to her and setting his hands on her naked hips.
Sakura thought he was going to close in on her, maybe kiss her or something, but he merely moved her out of his way to stand under the water stream. She smacked him lightly on the shoulder. He laughed and proceeded to wet his hair through. She didn't really mind, she was pretty much done and had been just standing there zoning out for the past several minutes anyway. Besides, the sight in front of her wasn't exactly one to complain about, ever.
When Deidara reached for the shampoo, she reached out to take it from him. He looked at her strangely, but gave her the bottle. "What are you doing?" he asked with a small, uncertain laugh.
He really didn't know, she realized. He wasn't used to having someone take care of him. "You can't just invade my shower and expect me to stand here and do nothing, right?" she said teasingly, and placed a kiss on his cheek as she began running her soapy hands through his hair.
Deidara looked a little thrown by her affectionate gesture, but he held her waist as she gently massaged his scalp and worked the lather through to the ends of his long hair. When she was finished he rinsed his hair and then she began to gently run the sponge over his skin. He was still a bit tense, so she leaned in a little more and slipped her free arm around him as she rubbed over his back. "Relax."
"I've never, uh…this is kinda strange to me, yeah," he said awkwardly.
Sakura smiled, feeling a little sad for him and the total absence of affection and caring in his life. She would change that. It was the least she could do after everything he'd done for her. "I know," she said softly, kissing where his neck and shoulder met, tasting the water on his skin.
The tension drained from him and he rested his chin on her shoulder with a small sigh, and a moment later his arms slid around her back and pulled her in. Her arms were pinned beneath his and she couldn't continue, but she soon realized the way he was holding her was more than a simple embrace. She let the sponge fall to the tiled floor so she could wrap her arms around him in return. Deidara's lips brushed her shoulder and began slowly kissing up the side of her neck in a way that was more tender than lustful. He lifted his head, and the vulnerability Sakura saw in his expression surprised her and pulled at her heartstrings. She gave him a reassuring smile, not knowing exactly what had come over him but having a fairly good guess. He lowered his face to hers, pausing just a moment before meeting her lips. It was soft and tender, and something passed between them that she felt all the way through her being.
Hot water splashed down over them as Deidara kissed her in a way he never had before. It sparked so many things to life inside her that she felt like her whole body was tingling. He moved her slowly until her back pressed into the cool tiles beneath the showerhead and their kiss began to grow more heated. His fingers threaded into her hair and his lips trailed down her throat and along her collarbone, and her hands moved up his back to grasp beneath his shoulders. His mouth trailed down her chest and closed over a rosy nipple as his arms slid around her waist tightly. She moaned softly, the moan turning to a pleasured gasp when he straightened back up and lifted her with him so she was straddling his thigh. She worked her fingers into his hair and arched into his amazing mouth, sighing in anticipated pleasure as his palm pressed into the soft flesh of her other breast.
His other hand slid down her thigh and she shifted to straddle his hips, his hard length pressing against her hot center. They both moaned at the contact and he lifted his head to capture her lips again, his tongue gliding into her mouth lustfully. He supported her weight by leaning into her so both hands could suckle and lap at her breasts, and she moaned raggedly into his mouth. She rolled her hips against him, wanting to feel more. Deidara groaned and his hands slid down her sides to grip her hips. Their eyes locked as he lifted and lowered her down, sinking slowly inside her inch by inch.
He lifted her again and brought her down upon him with another slow, deep thrust. He buried his face in her neck and began to rock into her in a slow, torturous way that was completely different from the last time they were in this position.
"Gods, Sakura…you feel so fucking good," he whispered brokenly against her neck, almost inaudible under the rushing water, and his arms tightened around her almost desperately.
She moaned with his particularly deep thrust and gripped his hair and shoulder as she writhed against him. "S-so do you…ah!"
He continued to move within her in deep, easy strokes until they couldn't control their slow rhythm any longer, then he worked her against him urgently until she cried out her release, before finding his own a moment later. They stayed joined against the wall for several moments, their arms around each other as she placed soft kisses along the top of his shoulder. Then he lowered her down with a lingering kiss and she grinned at him as they rinsed off and exited the shower.
Deidara grabbed one of the large fluffy white towels and wrapped it around her, then grabbed another and tucked it around his waist. She grabbed a smaller towel and moved close to him as she gently rubbed it over his hair. He smirked and closed his eyes, unused to this new level of intimacy, but quickly finding that he enjoyed it very much. When she was done she used the same towel to pat down her own much shorter hair, and he cupped the back of her neck to pull her in for a long, affectionate kiss.
"What happened to breakfast?" she asked when they broke apart.
"Probably sitting outside the room door, yeah," he said with a grin.
"So did you order me one of everything?" She moved out of his grasp, but held onto his hand as she stepped back.
Deidara laughed, and when she turned away his features settled into a soft, thoughtful smile and he let her pull him out of the room.
"I'm starting to think it was a bad idea to leave the room after all, yeah." Deidara leaned back against the low wall near the path they'd been walking down and sighed, watched Sakura hop up to sit on top of the same wall and wondered how she could find the energy to do such a thing.
The rain had finally stopped some time after breakfast—which was technically lunch considering how late they'd slept, and they'd decided to roam around the resort and hang out where they would have a clear view of the service road. Even though the rain had passed, the humidity remained. The sky was still overcast, and the occasional bursts of sunlight didn't deter the heat any. The air was thick and uncomfortable, and they were sweating even while standing still.
"We haven't seen any activity on that road all day," Sakura grumbled, indicating the service road they'd been surveying for hours on end from different locations. She shifted on her perch and her knee brushed Deidara's elbow as she straightened her legs out in front of her for a moment. "What a waste of time."
"Well, we have nothing else to do besides waste time until it gets here. Whether that's tonight or sometime tomorrow, all we can do right now is wait, yeah." Deidara casually raised a hand to stroke lightly up her smooth calf.
Sakura's disgruntled expression softened at his touch and she reached out to play with the ends of his ponytail. "Well, at least we could be having fun while we waste time, not stand around slowly dying of heat stroke," she grumbled again, though less irritably than before.
Deidara leaned his head back to look up at her and smirked. Just by touching her he'd calmed her annoyance and made her relax a little. He liked how responsive she was to him, and not just physically. But it seemed to run both ways. It was strange to be so attuned to another, but it was also nice to have someone who understood and related to you so easily. He didn't have to explain himself or waste time trying to convince her with most things, and he never became bored or disinterested with the things she said. It was just easy to be around her.
"How can you stand to wear your hair like this when it's so hot?" She lifted the pale blond strands away from his neck and felt they were slightly damp from the heat.
He shrugged, and his hand continued up her leg to caress over her thigh as he turned toward her. "Try running around the deserts of Suna wearing an Akatsuki cloak, yeah. Compared to that, this is pretty tolerable."
Sakura smiled. "I still have my cloak, you know. It's actually in my pack back in our room."
Deidara grinned up at her and moved to stand between her knees, hands sliding over her hips to close loosely around her waist. "Yeah?" He already knew that of course, but he wasn't going to say so. "I still have one too, another solid black one like yours."
She let her hands rest on his shoulders as he stepped in to her. "It means a lot to me. As strange and unwelcome as that situation was, I missed you all after it was over. Especially you," she said softly, hunching over until their foreheads touched. "I kept it as a reminder of our friendship and of the time I spent with all of you." She paused and then laughed. "I think I'm the only person in the world who fondly remembers being a hostage."
Deidara chuckled. "That was the most un-hostage-like hostage situation I've ever participated in or heard of. You sure threw us all for a loop, yeah. And I have a memento of you too, remember?" She looked at him curiously, and he brought his left hand between them out of the way of prying eyes.
The mouth in his hand grinned widely at her, revealing a gap where two of the teeth were missing. Sakura laughed. "I forgot I did that to you. Did it ever cause you problems?"
He shook his head slowly. "My art is all about the tongue, not the teeth, yeah," he said with an impish smirk.
She rolled her eyes at the innuendo. He looked entirely too smug about it, but at least his arrogance was merited. His hands slipped beneath the hem of her shirt to touch her skin, his thumbs rubbing light patterns against the small of her back. He pressed his lips to her collarbone and she closed her eyes, enjoying the moment.
Sakura felt so contented, so natural like this, with Deidara, that she couldn't believe a little over a week ago she'd been like a completely different person. That wasn't really her; that was the person she became to protect herself. She was happy now and felt like she could be herself once more, but she also felt very vulnerable. She had lowered her guard and now she was open to being hurt again.
Deidara was a ninja and his life was violent and dangerous. While it was true he was very formidable, with power to rival a Kage, and he was currently doing work far below his skill level and there was little these days to seriously put his life in danger…it was always a possibility for even the best shinobi. And he was reckless in combat, just as likely to off himself in some radical display of art as he was to be killed by an enemy. She had grown up knowing that death was a part of the life she had chosen, that she was bound to lose some friends and family along the way. That was why the rules of emotional detachment existed, to keep soldiers functioning when everyone around them died. But Sakura had never been any good at that part of being a ninja. She couldn't help but love and let people close to her heart, and she couldn't help but hurt when they were taken from her. She might have been okay if she'd only lost a few precious people. But she had lost them all. Except one, as it turned out. She couldn't help but let him back in, and now she was terrified of what would become of her if she lost him too. Should that keep her from trying, from moving on and giving herself a chance to be happy again? No, she'd already attempted that strategy and failed. It was too late now anyway. It had been too late the moment she woke up in that motel room and saw him again after eight years. As soon as the thought 'Deidara is alive' passed through her mind, the walls she had built around herself began to crumble.
She was treading on dangerous ground here…bordering on some serious emotional dependency. Deidara was the only person she had left, and he had been the one to help her and bring her back to life after years of dark depression. Now she had gone and made it worse, attaching herself to him even more by bringing sex into it. But she didn't need to worry about her motives for wanting to stay with him. She wanted to be with Deidara because she cared about him deeply, not because she needed him as some metaphorical floatation device. The real question was, what did he want?
This development was still new and she should just give it time, but they didn't really have time. They would be leaving here tomorrow night and once they delivered the sword a decision would have to be made to either stay together in some form or go their separate ways again. Sakura honestly couldn't imagine parting ways after finally being reunited. 'Good job on the mission, see ya around sometime' just didn't cut it in this situation. But she wasn't going to impose herself on him. She didn't think Deidara intended to give her a friendly pat on the back and walk off into the sunset when this mission was over, but she didn't want to assume anything about the current and/or future state of their relationship. Assuming about others' feelings had produced some seriously bad results in her past, and she was not going to set herself up like that. Still, his feelings for her seemed genuine. When he looked at her it felt real. His touches, his kisses, and the way he made love to her all felt very real. This morning in the shower, it felt like they reached a deeper level of intimacy, and in that moment she'd felt like he needed in more than a sexual way. Then again, she could just be seeing what she wanted to see. It wouldn't be the first time.
Her internal debate ended when Sakura noticed that Deidara's chakra was just slightly agitated. Not enough to be noticeable to others, but she was a medic and in close physical contact with him and she felt it. He was also starting to fidget a little, his fingers tightening and loosening slowly against the small of her back as he stared at something over her shoulder. He was doing these things unconsciously, she realized, and it wasn't the first time he'd done it today.
"What's wrong?" she asked, tilting her head down to see his face.
"Hm?" He straightened and looked up at her.
"You seem anxious about something." She turned to look behind her briefly, but saw nothing out of place, just some buildings and hotel guests involved in various recreational activities. "A few times today, and even a bit yesterday, you've seemed a little restless and, well…fidgety."
Deidara frowned slightly, shook his head. "Nothing's wrong." He stood up fully and moved his hands from her waist to rest atop her thighs as he stretched his neck. She didn't look convinced, and he sighed in mild exasperation. "It's just…missions like this aren't really my thing, and they start to bother me after a while, yeah."
"Why did you take it then?"
He looked at her like it should be obvious. "Money."
She couldn't really argue with that; it was a lot of money, and it was her reason for accepting the job too. But she still didn't understand what he was so antsy about. "What's so bad about it though?"
Now he looked slightly annoyed, and his fingers were twisting the hem of her shorts. "I don't like undercover missions, okay? My style isn't suited for it." He looked up at her, a strange glint in his eyes that wasn't exactly pleasant. An edge crept into his voice. "I don't like it when my art is repressed, yeah. When I have to do missions like this that interfere with my creative expression I tend to get a bit…worked up, and…well, I just don't deal well with restrictions on my jutsu."
Sakura watched him with slightly widened eyes. Was he saying he was having withdrawals? He just blew up a whole building like, five days ago. What more did he want? "So you're saying you're having urges to blow things up?" she asked cautiously, not quite sure how to handle this side of Deidara.
A fleeting grin that was more frightening than friendly passed over his face, and his hands tightened on her thighs. "Kinda, yeah. I mean…I don't have anything specific in mind, but…it's more like the fact that if I did want to, I can't, and that really bothers me if I think about it too much."
Sakura was somewhat relieved to hear it was more about his aversion to rules and restrictions than an actual compulsive need to be a pyro, but she was still a bit thrown off by him at the moment.
Then his chakra spiked a little. "Although," he said in a low, fervent tone, "there is some stuff around here that would make great art. Like…that glass roof in the lobby, yeah. When it blows, all that glass would shower down to the floor like snow…beautiful, deadly snow engulfed by flames…and the sound it would make…like thousands of crystal bells…" His tone was almost reverent, practically a whisper as his fingers ghosted over her cheeks and into the soft hair at her temples, sweeping it back from her face as he leaned in closer, excitement burning in his eyes. "Can you imagine it? It would be amazing, yeah." He whispered the last words against her cheek as his lips trailed lightly over her jaw.
Sakura was a little alarmed by his words. She knew he would never hurt her, but he was still unpredictable and dangerous to others at times, and she was slightly concerned about what he might do. He was practically vibrating with excitement at what he was picturing in his head, and his zealous words and the fanatical look in his eyes were a good reminder that he wasn't entirely sane.
But then, neither was she. The fact that she'd once created an alter ego in her own mind was proof that she wasn't the epitome of mental soundness. She also had some intense anger management issues, so she didn't really have room to point fingers at others for having crazy impulses.
And really, what ninja wasn't just a little bit nuts to begin with anyway?
She interlocked her fingers behind his neck. "I'm sure it would be fascinating, but you couldn't do it without hurting innocent people," she said carefully, not wanting to sound like she was denying him lest she set him off. She'd talked him down before; she was sure she could do it again, and she had more tricks in her arsenal now that they were intimate. Deidara frown-pouted at her words, so she hooked her legs behind his thighs and lifted his face up to focus on her rather than what he was thinking. "If you could figure out a way to do it and not harm people, I wouldn't mind seeing it with you, after the mission is over." She smiled playfully and planted a lingering kiss on his lips.
Actually, what he was describing did sound fascinating, and she was being honest when she said she would like to see it. His passion for explosive art must be rubbing off on her. She didn't care about the structure of the hotel—Shingo undoubtedly had plenty of money for repairs and he was almost certainly not an innocent artifact collector and businessman, so she felt no guilt there. She was okay with Deidara blowing the roof off the building, as long as it didn't get anyone killed.
She continued to kiss him until his chakra settled and he calmed down. He responded eagerly to her, his fingers twisting in her hair as he pulled her downward to his level. Tired of straining to her elevated position, he simply grasped her hips and lifted her down between his body and the wall, and then moved with her, pressing her against a taller part of the sloping stone façade as his mouth slanted over hers and he deepened the kiss.
Sakura broke away for air with a breathy laugh, and he continued his attentions on her neck. Apparently thinking about explosions excited him in other ways as well. That was good, he could use that as an outlet for his pent up energy. Good for me too, she thought, as Deidara nibbled just below her earlobe and sent a shiver up her spine. They were in public, but they couldn't really be seen, and she had to admit the knowledge that there were people around was a bit exhilarating. She leaned her head against the wall with a soft murmur of pleasure as he slipped his hand under the hem of her tank top, the mouth in his palm nibbling up her stomach. "You know, there's one way that isn't restricted at all," she said silkily. He raised his head to look at her with a devious and utterly sexy smirk, and she trailed her fingertip along his jaw. "You can create all the art you want with me."
"Believe me, I plan to, yeah," he murmured, brushing his lips teasingly against hers and pulling back when she tried to make it a full kiss. The expression on his face as he looked at her made her heart flutter. "You're amazing, you know that?" he said, surprising her and causing her to blush a little.
"You're not so bad yourself," she said warmly.
Deidara grinned and tightened his hold around her waist. "Sure I am. And that's why you like me," he said, and lowered his lips to her neck again.
She squirmed in delight as what he did tickled and aroused at the same time. He was sort of right though. She did seem to be drawn to dangerous bad boys, or at least guys with something off-kilter about them. Sasuke had had more issues than she could count, Itachi had been a ruthless sociopath, Kakashi had fostered severe depressive tendencies and an addiction to literary porn, and Deidara was an anarchist and a borderline pyromaniac. Sakura's taste in men was even more proof or her own psychological issues. But she'd never worried too much about those things before, because her men had always treated her well no matter how crazy they were.
Deidara had always been good to her, and the way he was making her feel right now was wonderful. But he was as unpredictable and volatile in character as he was in his fighting style. He was obsessed with his own jutsu, to the point of being suicidal in the case of his 'masterpiece.' Could she set herself up for the possibility that he may get tired of her, or recklessly get himself killed one day? Could she let herself fall in love with a man like that?
A wave of anxiety washed over her as she realized the implications of her thinking. She was more emotionally attached to him than previously thought if she was asking herself a question like that, and she still had no idea about what he really wanted from all of this. She was falling for him hard and fast, and she didn't think she could stop herself if she tried. What if it wasn't the same for him?
She pressed a soft kiss to his neck, the salty taste of his slightly sweaty skin lingering on her lips. She continued along his jaw until she got to his mouth, and he tilted his head and met her kiss hungrily. She pressed into him as he once again worked wonders on her senses. When he pulled back she was breathless and flushed, her worries forgotten. "Is it just me or is it getting even hotter out here?"
The sun was starting to set and the late afternoon haze was setting in, making the muggy air nearly unbearable. "It is getting hotter. I'm pretty sure we're not gonna see anything today," he said, referring to the reason they were out here, looking vaguely toward the service road with mild irritation. Then he met her gaze again and a mischievous smile formed on his lips. "Let's head back to the room, yeah."
"Are you serious? It's way too hot to even think about sex! Just the contact we have now is making me sweat," she said incredulously.
Deidara grinned. "Who said I was talking about sex, huh? Pervert,"
She gave him a look. "Says the man currently groping my ass..."
He looked down at his hands as if he wasn't fully aware he'd moved them to their new position. He shrugged. "It's a great ass."
She smiled appreciatively and ran her hands over his firm chest, admiring the way his snug tank top showed the definition of his lean muscles. "I bet it's cooler down by the beach. Maybe we could walk back that way," she suggested.
"Alright." His hands slid up to her waist and he pulled her against him. His mouth hovered just over her ear, his warm breath tickling deliciously. "Also," he murmured in a low tone that made her feel all fuzzy inside, "you forget that our room has air-conditioning, yeah."
Sakura gave him an alluring smile and they stepped away from the low wall and back onto the footpath, and she reached down to take his hand as they walked.
The beach was definitely cooler and they enjoyed the refreshing ocean breeze as they leisurely strolled back to their bungalow, their sandals in one hand and their fingers gently interlocked on the other.
Deidara kept making her laugh by teasingly licking and nipping at her palm with the mouth in his hand. The people around them probably thought Sakura ridiculous, as she would spontaneously burst into giggles for no apparent reason, shooting playfully dirty looks at her partner who hadn't appeared to do or say anything. He messed with her for several minutes that way before she stopped him by bringing their joined hands up and pressing her lips to his palm affectionately.
Deidara halted his steps and stared at her in amazement. He hadn't expected her to do something like that. Sakura didn't think it a big deal; she hadn't minded that mouth anywhere else on her body, quite the opposite in fact. His bloodline limit had never bothered her; it was just part of him. Sure, there were narrow-minded people who were freaked out and repulsed by such an oddity, and maybe that's what he was used to. But Sakura was a ninja who'd had many comrades with odd abilities and even odder physiologies, and as a medic she'd been exposed to a lot of weird stuff. She'd gone to school with a boy who had thousands of bugs living inside his body and called them out at will, so Deidara having mouths on his palms was mild in comparison. Any woman who experienced what he could do with those extra mouths would never think strangely about them again, she was sure of that.
But her gesture was obviously very significant to him, and he stared at her for another moment before an adorable, boyish grin spread slowly across his features. Sakura smiled warmly as she turned to start walking again. Resistance tugged at her hand and she turned back, and Deidara pulled her back toward him as he bent his head and kissed her.
In younger days Sakura had dreamed of romantic moments like this, envisioning herself being passionately kissed by a gorgeous man on a tropical beach at sunset…and then he would take her back to their bed and make love to her over and over. Of course, in those youthful dreams the gorgeous man had dark hair and eyes and was as different from the real man kissing her as night from day. Just as the dreams of the boy had evaporated over time, so had the fanciful ideas of ever living out such ridiculously romantic scenarios. Yet here she was—in the last place she ever thought she'd be with the type of man she never imagined herself falling for, and she found that the reality was much better than those silly childhood fantasies.
By the time they got back to the room night had fallen and the humidity was significantly lighter. Sakura switched on the light by the door and the room was lit in a low ambient glow. Deidara walked over to the sofa and flopped down to stretch out lazily. In a good mood and feeling playful, she joined him by nimbly hopping over the back of the couch and landing in his lap. Half sprawled as he was, he barely caught her as she landed on his middle, forcing an amused grunt from him. Sakura giggled and with some awkwardness managed to shift so that she was straddling him.
His hands flexed over her hipbones, and the look in his eyes told her what he thought about her current position. She gave him a playful smirk as her fingers moved beneath his shirt, raising it up inch by inch. He raised his arms and sat up a little to let her take it off, and then his hands were back, fingers slipping under the waistband of her shorts and tracing along the edge of her panties. His fingertips left a trail of heat in their wake that pooled deep in her belly. Sakura absolutely loved the way he looked at her, like she was the only thing in the entire world that interested him. She caressed up the smooth expanse of his torso and bent to trail affectionate kisses over his toned chest. He gave a soft sigh of enjoyment, slipped his hands under her shirt to caress her back and sides as she curled over him.
Sakura was simply being affectionate, rather than seductive, though the easy, attentive way they touched each other was still having an amorous effect on both of them.
"I was just thinking…" she said softly with her cheek against his skin, her fingertips tracing over the abstract markings of his seal. He made a quiet murmur of acknowledgement, and she continued. "We haven't used the hot tub yet…"
A smirk formed on Deidara's lips. "Hmm, no we haven't. It'd be a shame to leave without using it, yeah."
"My thoughts exactly." She leaned up to give him a brief kiss, pulling away before his magical tongue could trap her again. "I'll get changed. Meet me there?"
"Mmhm," he murmured, letting his hand slide over her leg as she got up, tapping her rear with a wicked smirk. She stuck her tongue out at him as she headed toward the bathroom where she'd left her swimsuit.
Sakura emerged a couple minutes later in her black tie-on bikini. She smiled to herself, remembering what Deidara said about this particular article of clothing and wondering how he would react now that he didn't have to keep his hands to himself. She passed through the bedroom and entered the bamboo enclosure. Deidara was relaxing in the warm swirling water with his arms up on the edge. He was facing the doorway, and his eyes roamed appreciatively over her lithe figure as she stepped down into the sunken spa.
She stood waist deep in the heated water, letting her hands smooth back and forth over the roiling surface. "This is different than a hotspring," she mused, getting used to the feel.
"Only the bubbling, and it's artificially heated, yeah."
Looking up at him with a playful smirk, she flicked her wrist to send a splash of water in his direction. He chuckled and raised a hand to block it, and then wrapped that arm around her waist as she moved to sit in his lap.
He'd tied his hair up in a low ponytail, so only the very ends of it were getting wet as he sat chest-deep in the water. She slipped one arm around his neck and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "This is really nice," she said quietly, her fingers trailing up and down his chest and abs. "I kinda wish we didn't have to leave tomorrow. Or ever."
Deidara didn't answer right away, gazing unfocused at the water's surface. His thumb stroked over her hipbone where his hand rested on her thigh. He exhaled slowly in what could have been a sigh, and finally replied, "Me too."
Several quiet minutes passed as they relaxed in the warm water, enjoying each other's touch. Sakura continued to run her fingers along his firm torso, not paying attention to the fact that her hand was steadily moving lower until she brushed over the small ridge of muscle above his hip bone and blinked, quickly coming out of her tranquil drowsy state.
"Deidara…" she said slowly, a bemused expression on her face.
"Hmm?"
"Where are your swimming shorts…?"
A roguish grin spread across his features, and he merely shrugged.
Sakura laughed, wondering how she'd been sitting on his lap for at least ten minutes and hadn't noticed he was wearing nothing but a smile. "If I knew you planned to skinny dip I wouldn't have bothered putting this on…"
"Why do you think I didn't say anything, hm? I wanted to see you in that bikini again." The backs of his fingers trailed over her stomach. "And I wanted to do this…" He pulled one end of the tie in front and the small triangles of material slipped to the sides, revealing much more of her breasts without falling completely open.
Sakura pulled back, slipping off his lap to stand, making no attempt to re-cover herself. Deidara didn't move, simply continued to watch her with a sly grin. She stood in the center, water swirling around her waist, and a sultry smile curled her lips. She reached up to grasp the two open sides of her top, but instead of retying them she slowly slipped the dark cloth from her bust, fully revealing her breasts, feeling a sharp thrill at the hungry look in his gaze. He didn't look at her exposed chest at all; those blue eyes locked on hers with a predatory gleam, and she felt heat build within her and her nipples tighten under the intensity and promise of his stare alone.
She continued the slow, seductive removal of her bikini top, playfully tossed it at his head as she backed away a bit more, moving to the far side. He caught it on a finger and dropped it on the tiled edge as he stood and stalked toward her, his gaze never wavering.
Playing coy, she eased along the edge away from him. His smirk widened as he caught on to her game, and when he reached out to grab her by the waist she giggled and snaked away from his grasp. Deidara chuckled darkly and continued to close in on her, fingers grazing her waist or hands brushing a thigh as she continued to playfully evade him. The hot tub wasn't that big and he could have caught her in an instant, but that would ruin the fun.
Finally, wanting to enjoy his nearly naked prey, he swooped in and grabbed her from behind. Her laughter rang out as he spun around with her, splashing water over the edge and across the ground. He sat on the bench again with her in his lap, her back pressed against his chest. "Now that I've caught you, little hellcat, what should I do with you?" he growled low against her ear, sending a shiver through her entire body as his hands moved over her abdomen, one moving upward, the other downward. "Hmm…I think I want to hear you purr."
His teeth gently grazed her earlobe and she tilted her head with a sigh of pleasure. He nibbled the skin of her neck as his hand closed over her bare breast, the tongue darting out and swirling around her tightened nipple before drawing it into the mouth and sucking gently. He had her squirming and gasping within seconds. Her arms lifted and linked behind his neck as she arched into his hand.
His other hand continued its descent until his fingers hooked under one side of her bottoms and with a slow pull the ends slipped open. His fingers slid just under the front edge until they reached the other side and undid the last tie. The scrap of black material came away easily, and floated to the other side of the hot tub. Beneath the surface his fingers skimmed up the length of her inner thigh, all while his other hand continued to lavish attention on her breast. She was already panting with pleasure and anticipation. "I love the sounds you make for me, Sakura. Like their own little works of art," he rasped, his breath tickling over her ear and neck. His fingers ghosted over the soft pink curls between her legs. "Especially when I touch you here…" He was rewarded with a sharp, breathy moan. She was already wet, the slick moisture of her desire different than the liquid swirling around them, and the knowledge that he turned her on so quickly and easily sent a jolt straight to his groin. He was used to women getting worked up quickly with him, after all he had a few advantages, but Sakura was by far the most passionate, not to mention the most beautiful when aroused. She was truly a masterpiece, superior in every way.
His fingers moved away and she made a small sound of disapproval at the lost contact, but he distracted her by his hand gently pulling her taut nipple between its teeth as his own mouth trailed hotly over her throat. She sighed raggedly, turned her face toward his and he caught her lips in a searing kiss. He lifted her thigh over his, spreading her legs apart. She whimpered, knowing what was coming, and he ended the kiss with a wicked smirk as his hand slid back up her thigh and his fingers stroked her. He slowly slipped one finger inside and she moaned, her hips rolling as her arousal intensified. A second digit joined the first and her head fell back against his shoulder.
"Deidara…mmhh…" she panted close to his ear, her face turned into his neck.
She was unable to stay still now, her groin and chest straining against both of his hands as her heavy breaths were quickly becoming panting moans. Her pleasured writhing and his name from her lips were incredibly arousing, and Deidara was almost painfully hard just from touching and listening to her. He couldn't wait to replace his fingers with another part of him that he knew would make her moan even louder, but he wasn't quite finished with her this way yet.
The third tongue flicked out to lap over the swollen button of nerves he hadn't touched until now, and she writhed against him with a loud moan as the already intense pleasure he was giving her became white-hot and she began to tremble. Teeth enclosed her nipple, and he pushed his fingers deep within her as the mouth of that hand closed over that most sensitive spot and sucked gently. Her moans became a string of pleasured cries and her body felt like it was bursting into flames as he sent her racing toward the edge. Suddenly her fingers tightened against his shoulders and her body arched stiffly as she came. He held her against his chest as she shuddered and gasped her release, not letting up on his ministrations until she collapsed against him again in a boneless heap.
Sakura took a moment to catch her breath and turned her face to him. "How the hell did you get so good at that?" she asked breathily.
Deidara looked down at her flushed face and a sly grin spread across his features. "Art is a bang, yeah."
She laughed softly and tried to give him a playful swat, but she couldn't really move yet, and ended up tapping him on the shoulder. "You're such a cocky bastard." He merely chuckled and lowered his face to kiss her. She responded passionately, parting her lips at the soft touch of his tongue. She turned in his arms, moved across him to straddle his lap again, facing him this time. "You know…you're not the only one with a few tricks up their sleeve." Her hand trailed down the ridges of his abdomen. "One of these days…I'll be the one making you scream," she whispered against his lips as she took him in her hand.
Deidara sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes as her fingers stroked up his hard length and closed around him tightly. "Is that so?" he whispered, his lips brushing over hers.
She sighed as he lifted his hips against her hand, the tip of him rubbing against her. "Mmhm. I would do it right now…but I can't hold my breath that long…"
Deidara's eyes opened wide at her provocative words, and then she was sinking slowly down upon him until he was buried inside of her. He hissed softly at the feel of her tight and hot around him, and gripped her hips as she began to move. Their lips met as she rocked and ground against him, the warm liquid swirling around their bodies giving them even more heightened sensation. He lifted his hips to go deeper inside her and they both groaned. His hands roamed up her torso and cupped her breasts firmly, tongues immediately ravishing her sensitized flesh and making her moan loudly against his mouth. She broke away from his lips as her pleasure spiraled higher and her breath quickened.
Unable to take her torturously slow pace any longer, he gripped her ass firmly and stood up, lifting her onto his hips and turning their still-joined bodies around. He sat her on the edge and she lifted her legs to wrap around him, her thighs parting allowing his thrusts to go deeper.
"Unhh…Deidara…more…" she panted against his neck, their angle amazing but not enough to bring her to release again.
His hand worked into her hair and he kissed her passionately as he lowered her, and she braced her hands against the tiled floor as he laid her on her back. He trailed hot, open mouthed kisses down her chest and stomach as he straightened back up, grasping her thighs as he began to thrust into her again. This new angle allowed him to hit incredibly deep, and her eyes snapped closed as she moaned wildly. Her fingers clawed futilely at the wet tiles as he shifted the angle of his hips, stimulating that perfect spot inside her with every thrust.
His breaths were shallow and rapid as he began to lose himself in the feel of her, hot and velvety around him. He didn't know if he could last much longer this way. A primal groan escaped his lips as she contracted tightly around him as she neared her release. "Sakura…"
She heard the warning beneath the pleasure in his tone, and she bucked her hips upward as the heat within her coiled and intensified to an almost unbearable level. "Oh, gods…harder…"
There wasn't a man alive who didn't love hearing that, and with a pleasured growl he gripped her thighs and drove into her hard and fast. Her moans became louder and longer as she began to topple over the edge, and he brought his hand to where they were joined and pushed down, the tongue flicking as he continued his hard thrusts. She came instantly, her back arching off the ground as her orgasm exploded within her. He quickly found his own release as he watched his lover's ecstasy, gorgeous and writhing beneath him, her breasts heaving as he emptied himself inside her, both of them finding completion in a moment of perfect, radiant art.
Exhausted, he eased forward and rested his forehead on her flat tummy, supporting his weight with his elbows on either side of her. She cradled his head against her abdomen, her fingers easing through the strands of his hair as they brought their breathing under control. "Damn…" she whispered breathlessly, barely able to keep her eyes open after such an intense experience.
He nodded against her, feeling incredibly drowsy himself and wondering if he would even be able to move off of her. "Uh-huh…" he murmured, a silly grin on his face.
Sakura laughed almost inaudibly. "If we don't move I'm going to fall asleep right here."
"Me too, yeah." He braced himself and placed a kiss above her navel before pushing up. He climbed out of the hot tub and grabbed the towels laid aside. She lifted her hand to him lazily and he reached down and pulled her up, wrapping a towel around her in the process and then securing his own.
Sakura dried off and stepped forward to slip her arms around his waist, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, sighing in contentment as he held her and began to walk them into the bedroom where they fell on the bed with soft laughter, their towels falling to the floor. She slipped beneath the covers and he followed, limbs curling and wrapping around one another as they got comfortable.
He kissed her softly, unhurried and without intent, and she pulled his long hair free of its tie to fall over his shoulders. "Goodnight, Deidara," she whispered sleepily, snuggling into his chest.
"Goodnight, Sakura," he whispered into her hair, his arm tightening around her smaller frame as he closed his eyes and smiled.