A/N: wow. I haven't updated in more than a year. I have completely lost interest in this story since I began writing it more than two years ago. I have written a little more than ten chapters and have not finished. At this point in time, finishing it is not even close to the top of my to-do list. My priorities could change later on though. I will add a new chapter every couple of days until all ten are posted and from then on, I'll consider finishing.

I was young and naive when this story began and as I look back on it, most is unoriginal and quite predictable. If I get time or inspiration, I might work on one of my other stories, which also haven't been worked on in forever, and maybe some new ideas will come to me! Keep reviewing, which will remind me to update! Thanks!!

Chapter 5

Dear Diary

I sat up in my bed, listening to my friends sleep. It was a Thursday night and I couldn't sleep. "Lumos!" I had something on my mind and I had to get it out. I reached under my pillow and pulled out a green, small book with a golden lock. I quickly unlocked it with a matching golden key that was tied to a green ribbon around my neck. I pulled my quill from a pocket on the back side of the cover and dabbed it into the ink. I began to write.

Dear Diary,

I have something on my mind that just won't seem to leave me alone. It's James Potter. Sometimes, he is so sweet, and I can just see myself falling for him, just like the other girls, but at other times, he can be so arrogant, like nothing has changed. I can't make my mind up about him.

Yesterday, he stood up for me, from Severus. It went too far, and soon, he was showing off in front of everyone else, once again. When it's just us, he is so different, but when he's around his friends, he's back to his old ways.

I just had to get that out.

Love,

Lily

I shut my diary and replaced it back under my pillow. I snuggled down under the covers, and was about to fall asleep, when I heard a small crash. I sat up erect in my bed and stared toward the door. It had come from the Common Room.

I slowly slipped out of bed and felt the cold stone floor beneath my feet. I quietly inched my way in the darkness; towards what I was pretty sure was the door. I groped for the handle, and finally felt it. I opened the door, only to find a small pile of dungbombs. I kicked them down the stairs and slowly followed behind.

I crept silently down, not understanding all of this, until I saw him. James was leaning against the wall, with his hands stuck in his pockets.

"Potter, what's all this about?" I whispered, walking towards him.

"Oh, good, you're awake," was his reply.

"Why were you throwing dungbombs at my door?" I asked curiously.

"I need to show you something. He took my hand and pulled me to the portrait hole. His hand was warm, and I felt my body tingle, yet I pulled away.

"What's this all about?"

"You just really need to see something."

"We'll get caught!"

"No, we won't." He pulled out something from his pocket. It was a blank sheet of parchment. He ruffled his hair and smiled sheepishly at it. I grinned, knowing he couldn't see me; he was so adorable when he did this!

"Is this some kind of joke?" I asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." Instantly, there was a map of Hogwarts in his hand, which had appeared on the parchment. I gasped, and he smiled at my reaction, his eyes glittering.

"Look," he said. "There's no one on this floor." I leaned around his shoulder and noticed he was right.

"Where'd you get that thing?" I asked, astonished.

"Well-I-er-made it. You know, with Padfoot and Moony's help." I understood the nicknames. It was simple for me to figure out with the monthly 'sicknesses' and the secretiveness.

"You made this?" I asked in disbelief, even more so than before. I ran my fingers along the smooth surface of the parchment. I then traced two little figures with my finger, yet I couldn't make out the names. I looked up at James and saw him beaming down at me.

"Okay, let's go." He took my hand again and led me from the room. I followed him down two flights of stairs, down a left corridor, then a right, then another flight of stairs and a sharp right turn. We ended up in front of a classroom.

"James, what-" He put a finger to my lips, telling me to shush. I nodded slightly and he opened the door a crack.

I peeked in and stared in disbelief. Summer Duval was standing there with Brett; their faces squashed up against each others. Brett had been cheating on me; they had been the two dots I couldn't comprehend.

"Keep your tongue in your own mouth, mister!" I screamed. I ran over and smacked his cheek. They both stood gawking at me.

"Lils, I–"

"Don't 'Lils' me! Fifty points from Hufflepuff for sneaking out after hours, and another twenty for two-timing me!"

"You can't do that!" Summer screeched. I glared darkly at her.

"I'm Head Girl, so yes actually, I can." I turned on my heel and dashed out of the room. I ran all the way back to the Common Room, without stopping or slowing down. I plopped onto one of the sofas and just cried.

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I looked up and sniffed.

"Why'd you have to show me that, Potter?" I spat, glaring at him.

"I didn't want you to get hurt." I stared at him in disbelief and he sat down next to me.

"Well, how do you think I feel right now?" I asked coldly, letting a few more tears drop.

He wiped them from my cheek with his thump. "I know you're hurt, but what if you had found out from someone else? I had been trying to get him to fess it up to you, but he wouldn't budge. He didn't like you for you, Lils. He only liked you for your looks I couldn't stand him doing that, so I took action."

"James, next time, stay out of it. All the boys only like me for my looks, so it's nothing new." I sniffled again.

"Not all the boys." He leaned over closer to me.

"Yes, all the boys." He pulled back. "You don't even like me, so why are you doing this? It's just an act, there's no use in hiding it anymore."

"You think this is an act, Lily?" He looked appalled.

"What else, then?" I asked coldly.

"Lily, I've been following you, pestering you, annoying you for the past six years. If I didn't really like you, then what else would it be?" I stared into his hopeful hazel eyes, expecting to find my answer.

"If you do like me, then you're like all the others. You can't see past my looks, into the real me. That's all I've ever wanted; someone who cares about me for me." I had no idea why I was telling this to him, but it felt right.

"Lily, if you just gave me a chance I could show you that I'm that person." I stared at him blankly. I wanted to give him that chance, yet tomorrow he'd be back to the same James Potter we all know and I hate.

"No," I said flatly. I stood and walked to the dormitories, not glancing back once to see him, I didn't want to see him.

The next day I awoke to find a pretty, younger girl staring back at me. I jumped a little, then rubbed my eyes.

"Hey Rachelle," I said groggily and sat up. "What's up?" This was Remus' little sister. She had long straight brown hair and blue eyes that matched her brother's. She was in her fifth year and currently dating Bethany's oldest younger brother, Robbie.

"Well, Robbie said that he was walking by the boy's seventh year dorm, and he heard Sirius shouting at James. Then, Sirius heard Robbie, so he told him to find me, to find you." This girl was the opposite of her brother for one reason; she never stopped talking. Yet, she was just as sweet and good-looking.

"Um… okay. Thanks, Rachelle." I stood up and quickly changed into a jean mini skirt and a white tank top. I walked down the stairs, my bare feet on the cold stones. I glanced up, and sighed. Sirius was standing there, beaming at me.

"What is it, Black?" I asked unemotionally.

"You really didn't have to dress up for dearest Prongs."

"Shut it, Black. Now, why did you need me?"

"Well, James won't get up. I've tried everything but one. That one would be you. You of all people can wake him up. So, if you'd be so kind to follow me."

"What gave you the idea that I agreed?" I asked. He gave me his knee-weakening smile.

"Lily, you can't turn me down, can you?" He gave me puppy dog eyes and a small 'Pretty-Please-With-A-Cherry-On-Top' face.

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me big!" I reluctantly trudged up the stairs and pushed open the first landing's door, labeled 'Seventh Years.' I pushed it open. All of the bed's hangings were shoved back carelessly, except the last bed. The curtains were drawn tightly shut.

I stared for a moment, plotting it. I wanted revenge. What was I gong to do? Really cruel, funny or nice were my options. Hmmm… I decided… none.

I walked over and slowly slid open the hangings, expecting the worst. The covers were pulled firmly over his head. I sighed.

"Potter, wake up!" I yelled. He didn't budge. I yanked the covers off of him, and could see him shiver. He was rolled into a tight ball, with only a pair of sweat pants on. I pushed him over, so he was facing me. His hair was more unruly than ever, if that was possible, and he had an engaging smile placed on his lips. I sighed and remembered what I had to do. I shoved him over and with a loud 'BANG,' he laid sprawled out on his back, on the floor.

"Padfoot, what the-" He opened his eyes and rubbed the back of his head. "Hey, Lils. Finally decided to-"

"Shut it, Potter. Sirius told me to get you up. Now that I've done my job…" I walked to the door and slammed it behind me.

Twenty minutes later, I sat with Shae at the breakfast table. Kristina had gone to practice some Quidditch drills and Bethany was off with Remus somewhere. We were laughing together as I recounted the morning's 'incident.'

"And then, I slammed the door, and-"

"Helloooo ladies." I swirled around to see the two inseparables behind me.

"What do you want, Potter?" I asked icily, not welcoming him in the slightest.

"Just to see my Lily Flower." I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go outside, Shae." She nodded and followed my quick footsteps towards the lake on the grounds.

"Lily, what was that all about?"

"He just really gets on my nerves."

"I don't think so," Shae insisted, with a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.

"Shut it."

"Ooh, a little cranky on the subject, aren't we?"

"Shae!" She gave me a look and I sighed. "I don't know, but sometimes, yeah, I think I've had a crush on him all these years; but at other times, I'm positive its hate and annoyance jumbled into one."

We walked forward to the edge of the lake. I took off my shoes and began to twirl my toes in the cool water, when I realized Shae staring at me.

"What?!" I asked guiltily.

"I knew it! I knew it all along!" she yelled. She then started to do a jig, but stopped instantly for some unknown reason to me. Two strong arms lifted me then tossed me into the air. I toppled over into the icy water. I came up, gasping for air and looked into the eyes of the accused.

"JAMES PATRICK POTTER!" I screamed, kicking furiously to stay afloat. He cringed at the public use of his middle name, but still laughed at me. I heard a frustrated cry from beside me. Shae was bobbing in the water too.

"SIRIUS! YOU RUINED MY HAIR AND CLOTHES!" She screamed, even louder than I did. I giggled and then noticed Sirius was standing on shore, laughing hard and clutching his side. Just then, I noticed that my hair and clothes were also completely drenched.

I swam angrily for shore, and as soon as I pulled myself up, I saw the terrified look on James's face. Good, he should be scared. I bolted after him and saw Shae do the same towards Sirius.

After minutes of sprinting around the grounds after him, I stopped for air. I breathed heavily, and saw James stop a few feet ahead and smirk. Bloody Quidditch players.

"Had enough?" he asked. Reluctantly, I nodded slightly, and he kept grinning. He smiled wider and walked over to me. "Good. Now, how about going to the Ball with me?" He was dangerously close, only inches from me. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

I stared in cynicism. "ARE YOU INSANE? You throw me into the lake and expect me to go out with you? Yeah bloody right!"

I squirmed out of his grasp and stomped towards the castle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shae grinning and nodding at Sirius. Bloody blondes.

I was once again sitting up in my bed, hugging my knees. As soon as I heard the snoring coming from all angles of the room, I picked up my diary and walked to the window. I sat in the armchair and wrote, pausing every now and again to stare at the crescent moon shining down as my light.

Dear Diary,

He did it again. He was a complete prat, and pushed me into the lake, then he asked me to the Ball. He has some nerve.

When I was with Shae, standing by the water, I realized for the first time, I like James Potter. Yes, you understood me correctly, even though it may be hard to believe. I wanted so badly to accept his invitation to the Halloween Ball, yet I didn't. My reputation is at stake. It seems stupid, I know, but I think it's for the best.

Love,

Lily