Ladies' Room
Cuddy felt so stressed. She washed her face hoping to find some sort of freshness.
"I need to get out of here!"
"Oh my God! What have I done? I left Jeffry all alone with House! Crap! It's over! He'll tell him something personal about me so that he'll blush every time he'll look at me! It's a matter of fact! It's House I'm talking about! That man could make Satan in person run away so fast from him! He could become the King of Underworld if he only wanted to! What do I do now? How can I get through the night with them???? And he's got photos, too. He'll want to blackmail me! And when the hell did he take those photos? "
Then she thought about the first time Jeffry came to her office.
"Sure!! That's when he took them! He had that stupid camera with him! Grrrrrr!!! I hate House!"
"I have to come back to my table…"
She took a deep breath before opening the door. The best part of the evening yet to come… if she only knew…
In the meantime at the table…
"Sorry! What did you say?" House was lost in Jeffry's hairpiece.
"I said I really think you should trust financial advisers."
House didn't answer. He was too absorbed by that thing that was lying on the top of Pitt's head. "It seems a cat!" he thought.
"Oh, sorry! I missed that again!"
"I said I…" before he could repeat for the third time his sentence, House cut him off.
"I was thinking…You really like Cuddy, don't you?"
Jeffry blushed but then nodded shyly.
"I knew it!" House smirked well aware of the fact that he had already begun his evil plan.
"You know" he stopped himself for a moment, trying to get the Pitt guy more curious.
"I know Cuddy very well. We've known each other for years. I could tell you something about her. I know you're the adviser one, but I could be a good one, too. When it comes to women…Ah…" he sighed.
Jeffry looked at him, his eyes lost in the emptiness, as if searching something to lay on…maybe boobs, House thought.
"Do you want to help me?" Jeffry sounded incredulous.
"Sure! Why not?"
"Well, maybe because I thought that…" He stopped himself.
"You thought…what?" Now House was really curious.
"Never mind!" he emphasized this with a gesture of his hand.
"Oh, come on Jeffry! You can tell me! I swear I'm not going to yell it to the wind!" He crossed his fingers behind his back.
"It's just that…I thought you liked Lisa."
"Are you kidding me? She's hot!" he scoffed.
Jeffry blushed causing House to grin evilly. "I mean…I thought you liked liked her."
House remained speechless for some moments. He knew he felt something strange when he was in the same room with Cuddy but he had always thought that it was because she was a sex bomb! Who wouldn't agree with that? Sex was the keyword. It has always been. Why was this Pitt guy telling him he liked liked her!
Stupid Pitt!
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Because of the way you look at her!"
"Hey dude, she's sexy. Duh! That's all!" House was fending for himself. He noticed that Jeffry was trying to answer him and he decided to change topic. He was feeling uncomfortable. I have to embarrass you, let's not switch roles!
"Hey, do you want suggestions or not?"
Jeffry stayed with his mouth slightly open but then he composed himself. "Sure!"
"Good! Rule number one: she's a woman! Make her compliments! Continuously!"
"Number two: Touch her! Well, duh! I'm not saying you have to grab her ass, or touch her breasts, even if I admit… it'd be such a great thing to do!" He grinned widely. Last time I grabbed her ass it was one of the best times of my life!
"I mean that you have to brush slightly by her. Touch her arm, her hand, her elbow, her…hair…"
"What? Won't she be upset?" Jeffry was really perplexed.
"Oh no, no! Cuddy loves playing rough. So, if she'll seem…upset…don't worry! If you'll insist, she'll be all yours!"
Jeffry nodded as if his life depended on these advices. Well…
"Number three: remember her how much rich you are and how many jewels you'll buy her. Women love this kind of man!"
"Maybe I have to write it down" he said searching a paper and a pen in his pocket.
"NO Jeffry! Focus! Focus Jeffry!" Pitt nodded dumbly.
"Where was I? Oh, yes. Number four: remember to take her home. Then, let her invite you in for a coffee…"
"I don't like coffee!"
"Ooops…Cuddy loves coffee! Hum…oh, no don't cry, son!" House saw the sad expression on Jeffry's face.
"You two can't have everything in common!" House told him putting a comforting hand on Jeffry's shoulder.
"I could get in for a tea…" he said hopeful with sparkling eyes.
"Yes you could!" House winked at him nodding slowly.
At this Jeffry offered House that famous smile of him.
"So you think she'll fall for me?"
"Of course I do! She already has a thing for you!"
"REALLY??????"
"I never lie!"
"I can't believe it! Usually women don't like to be around me." He said woefully.
"Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't they like you?"
"I don't know!!" Jeffry sighed deeply.
House had to put a hand on his mouth in order to stop his infamous laugh that was treatening to escape from his lips. He was using his sarcasm on "Cuddy's new-little-toy", but Jeffry just didn't seem to notice! He was such a child! "Oh my God! He really ignores why women avoid him! Poor man! He's almost as miserable as I am! No…wait! At least I have my Vicodin!"
"Well Jeffry…are you ready? This is your chance! Do what you have to do! I'm gonna go away and by this I mean that I'll leave you two alone. Can you handle this?"
"Yes I can!"
House felt almost guilty seeing how much this ugly guy hoped to become Mr. Lisa Cuddy. He felt pity for this man but he just couldn't wait to see Cuddy yell at him the next day! "I hope she'll wear that black shirt of hers tomorrow! She doesn't know, but every time the sunlight lights her from her behind I can SEE her funbags in a way just a lover should do! Mmm…."
It was then that Lisa Cuddy decided to come back to her table and face her problems.
She almost fainted when she saw the devil stare House was giving her.
"What now?" she thought.
A/N: I took a part of House-Jeffry dialogue from Gilmore Girls. (Taylor and his hairpiece). :P
Thank you for reviewing! So…why don't you do that again? ;D