Well everybody, here is another chapter. As usual, all songs can be found on youtube. And as usual I don't own anything and be advised that there might be a few dirty words in here you might not like. And please leave me a review, I really need them as a motivation to go on!

Love Her Madly

Still in the basement

Don't ya love her madly
Wanna be her daddy
Don't ya love her face
Don't ya love her as she's walkin' out the door

"Jackie, come on now, read it!"

"I can't, Donna. It's just... I don't know what's in it."

With a little moan Donna leaned against the small couch and searched the pile of empty cans and bottles for something to drink while staring at her tiny friend. Jackie was shaking violently and just couldn't find the courage in herself to unfold the piece of paper and read what he had written down. For now it was enough for her to know that he had been the last one to touch it, that he had placed it there for her to find once she had figured out the clues he had given her. But in all her grief she had failed to do so and fate had given her a push.

"Why don't we eat something?"

"Jackie, you just ate a whole box of Twinkies! Stop trying to change the subject. What are you afraid of?"

"It's... I don't know. I am afraid that I might find out things I don't want to know. I am afraid to lose the pictures of him I have in my head. The last memory of him I have... I fell asleep in his arms after we had probably the most amazing sex we've ever had. Don't give me that look Donna, even our kids are more comfortable with the idea uf us having sex than you. You really are like Eric, do you know that? Where was I... He was so incredibly sweet, he has always been, even through his struggles... But that night was just beautiful. And this note reminds me that it was planned, you know? The whole evening was planned out, he wanted me to have this memory. And the knowledge alone is tainting it."

"I think I know what you mean... Are you going to read it now or what?"

Jackie fought the urge to hit her friend in the head with a baseball bat conveniently poking out of one of the closets, but she laughed instead. They had been down memory lane all day long, why stop now.

Carefully she unfolded the paper, cherishing the soft and dry surface and stroking it gently with her fingertips, almost seeing him fold it and sneaking into the basement to hide it. Maybe he had even smiled, imagined this moment, trying to see her just like she was trying to see him right now. And that brought him so close again she almost choked on the tears trying to fight their way out.

Looking down she saw just one line in that familiar scribble that sometimes looked like somebody testing a pen and was so hard to read to most, but she had seen it so many times before, she managed. And she could see he had tried very hard to make it readable.

I loved you madly, doll.

She looked up and saw that Donna, just like her, held her breath, so she carefully handed the note over to her, even though her hand struggled to release it. She wanted to hold on to it and curl up around it, but she couldn't. Not now.

"He always did that, an easy one after a hard one so I wouldn't lose interest. And this one is pretty easy."

"Well, I don't get it, but I'm not supposed to. So, what's next?"

"I have to go look for whatever Doors LP that song was on. Wanna know the connection?"

Donna simply nodded and leaned forward and Jackie laughed.

"Silly Steven heard that song everywhere after I announced that I got the MTV job and that I was leaving. So technically, it was this song that made him decide to go after me and stalk me until I take him back. Yeah, I guess that sums it up nicely."

"Wait, what? I remember that I played it on the show a few days after you left and after when I came to the basement he yelled at me for some reason. Well, actually, he yelled a lot back then, but now I think it makes sense, somehow. He mentioned the song, that's why I remember. Actually, that was right before he disappeared..."

"You know what? Let's go whip up some Hamburger Helper and I tell you the whole thing while we eat, and then we go look for the record. It was L.A. Woman I think..."

Twenty Minutes Later

Living Room

They were both sitting on the couch, legs pulled up, a bowl of Hamburger Helper on their laps and some bread between them. Steven was lying on the floor, toying around with a kitten Jackie had adopted from the shelter a few weeks back to keep her company.

"So Jackie, spill it. I've waited long enough. Don't give me that I'm eating crap again. You have barely touched your food."

"Okay, remember the night I went over to the basement and told you about the job?"

July 20th, 1981

Point Place, Wisconsin

The Forman's basement

It was a relatively hot summer for Wisconsin, and a very boring one on top of it, too. Donna and Hyde were sitting in the basement, trying to kill a lazy weekend full of nothing to do. Eric had to run some errands for his parents, at least that hadn't changed... Fez was working because weekends at the salon were very busy, and Jackie had left a little over a week ago to attend a few castings in New York and they hadn't heard from her so far.

Donna got op to turn on the radio, they had spent the last twenty minutes staring into space without moving, there was nothing on TV, they had read all magazines in the basement at least three times and there really was nothing to talk about. Hyde had never been a person for smalltalk, but lately he had started to act like "Hello" was an insult. She had never seen him so angry, and that was something for the record books, because Steven Hyde and anger were good old friends.

She didn't even pay attention to the radio, because when she turned the knob they could hear the very familiar clacking of heels on the steps and with a bright beam of sunshine Jackie entered the basement, smiling from ear to ear, wearing a short red dress and sandals and light makeup.

"I just had the most exciting week of my entire life. And guess what? I am moving to New York!"

The basement remained silent. Donna stared at her, mouth wide open and Hyde... Hadn't even turned his head. He could see her from the corner of his eyes and that was enough for him to know that if he turned his head to fully look at her, he would be doomed. He already felt the need to be mean to her crawl up his back and sit down on his shoulder, puffing a cigarette while whispering nasty remarks in his ear, and he was tired of fighting it. He didn't even know why he still was such an ass to her sometimes, after all they had decided to be friends again. Sometimes he just couldn't.

"So, your castings went well?"

"No. They were horrible. But that one guy who was just visiting saw and liked me and he knows this guy, Bob Pittman, who is looking for people for his music TV station, they call it MTV. And I will be a VJ. They will launch it in August, so I'm just here to gather my things and pretty much leave. They helped me find an apartment, I will actually live together with another girl who will work there."

Hyde swallowed hard to avoid spitting out the angry remark that burned in his throat like bile. She looked extremely happy and that was a state she hadn't been in in a long time. She was positively radiant right now and he felt upset. But why?

"So, what are you hosting, the mainstream show?"

She chose to ignore him and went on chattering, telling about the casting she had been hauled off to and the other people that had been chosen to be the first VJs of that MTV station. She laughed about how she didn't even really know what she was auditioning for and that she did a four minute thing about Earth, Wind and Fire and everybody crowded around her afterwards, asking questions and congratulating her on her good job. Two days later she had received the good news and the day before she had to leave for Wisconsin again she had met the others, three guys and a girl-who had spontaniously offered her a room in her place since her current roommate had just moved out. All this time Jackie was addressing only Donna, her back turned to him as if he wasn't even there. He put his feet on the table and grabbed a magazine he had read four times now.

"Well, I'll be leaving in five days, I better go and tell Mrs. Forman so she will have time to get used to it. She would be pissed if I didn't tell he right away..."

So Jackie left the basement and walked up to look for her surrogate mother in the kitchen. Donna looked at Hyde, an eyebrow cocked.

"Weird, huh? Now Jackie's leaving us, too. So it's just you, me and Eric. Well, and Fez. But he'll be off to L.A. next month..."

He threw the magazine back onto the table, he had even read the advertisements in it twice. It was probably time to get up and go to his crappy little apartment and kill whatever jumped at him when he opened the fridge for supper.

"Yup. Just us now."

On the radio, a new song had just started, it was from The Doors and sounded as giddy as Jackie had been just a few moments ago.

Don't ya love her madly
Don't ya need her badly
Don't ya love her ways
Tell me what you say

He got up, stretched and patted Donna on the shoulder before he walked out the door without another single word.

November 2007

Jackie's House

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about that... And I always thought he was just bitching because his dad was sick and everybody left..."

"Well, he was. But a part of him wanted me back. A very subconscious and suppressed part mind you, but it was there. He just didn't want to admit it."

"Yeah, sounds like Hyde."

The two women were lying on the couch, backs against the armrests, legs tangled up underneath a large purple comforter. Steven was still lying on the floor, but he had gotten himself a pillow and a burgundy comforter, the cat was curled up on his chest and he had his head turned to the side so he could watch his mother and his aunt.

"I don't think you've ever talked this detailed about what happened with you and dad. And he didn't talk about it at all. Except for that one time when he gave me that speech about how he would haunt me forever if I blew it with the girl I love by being like him. He wasn't even wasted. Which was kind of scary..."

"I actually did. Amber and her friends asked long enough for me to roll up our story in great detail on one of their pyjama parties two years ago and I continued bit for bit every time they came here. And we left off where we are right now, when I left point Place for good."

"Really? You played storyteller for them?"

"I guess they found it interesting enough because they kept coming back for more."

"So Jackie, that wasn't all, was it?"

"No. He heard it literally everywhere. He told me Leo played it at Grooves once and he almost tore off that poor man's head for it. But you know him... And you've been to my goodbye party. You know what happened."

"Well, I wasn't."

"That's why I'm going to tell you all about it now, Steven."

July 24th, 1981

Point Place, Wisconsin

The Forman's garden

Don't ya love her ways
Tell me what you say
Don't ya love her as she's walkin' out the door

All your love
All your love
All your love
All your love

He shut the kitchen door to block out the damn song currently playing on Kitty's little kitchen radio.

Of course Kitty had insisted on throwing a little party for Jackie before she left and Red had suggested a barbecue. It was the first time any of them could remember Red had actively taken part in party preparations except for his annual barbecue on Veteran's Day.

The garden was decorated with everything Kitty could get her hands on that didn't look too much like any specific holiday and she had gotten Donna to paint a banner that said "We'll miss you, Jackie". The crowd gathered wasn't so much of a crowd, since it was only the Formans, Donna, Hyde and Fez, but Kitty kept repeating that it was the thought that counted, after all.

She was checking the right angle of napkins and forks again, snapping at Donna who had set the table for doing it wrong again, her poor boy shouldn't be living with a woman who didn't know how to set the table right, not to mention her lack of cooking skills. Kitty was still upset that the former neighbor girl had lured her son out of her house soon after his return from Africa and now they were living in an apartment together-unmarried!

"Good evening, ladies!"

Fez strolled around the corner, his clothes and hair matching the latest trends of the new decade and a newfound confidence positively jumping into everybody's face. He had been hired form a big studio in Hollywood as a hair stylist and he was rightfully proud.

"Hey Mowgli, come over here and let me see if you are of any use around a barbecue. Because my son sure isn't."

The only fixed points in their lives were Red and Kitty. No matter what happened, they were both the same, living in the same house, keeping the basement the way it was and having their kid's old bedrooms ready for visitors.

Hyde sat on the porch, beer in his hands, staring at the neighbor's house, the house formerly known as the Pinciotti residence. He was still confused every time he came over and saw some stranger mowing the lawn or their kids play basketball in the driveway like they had done a million times. This porch, this driveway held so many memories his head had trouble processing even a fragment of it and it happened more and more often when he came here. And it seemed to be getting worse with every member of the gang who was leaving.

When a car slowly rolled into his view he was yanked out of his thoughts. Looking up he saw Jackie getting out of her car, saw her head appear over the roof, and the rest of her body slowly becoming visible as she walked around it and towards him.

"So, where is the surprise party I'm not knowing anything about?"

He yanked his head towards the garden and she nodded, but walked in his direction instead. She sat down next to him and grabbed his beer.

"I still can't believe I'll really be moving to New York. Of all places."

"Sodom and Gomorrah with a subway. "

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Just an old memory, that's all."

"Huh."

"I'd say you better get back there before Kitty finds you here and gets all upset."

"Okay."

"Wait, let me handle this. OH, HELLO JACKIE!"

"Sh, everyone she's coming!"

They shared a smile at Kitty's attempt to quiet everyone while she was the loudest of them all, and then they stepped around the house, Hyde on step behind her, his hand on the small of her back. It was more a reflex and he didn't pay attention to it until everybody yelled "Surprise!" and he saw Donna lift her eyebrow at him. He pulled his hand away as if he had been burned and walked over to his friends.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, Donna."

With that he turned away to get himself a beer, Jackie had kept his. He passed Kitty who was currently crying about all the kids leaving her and looked at Red. They had tried to keep her away from alcohol while she was preparing food, but had failed miserably. Her eyes fell on him and she jumped up and wrapped her arms around him.

"But you aren't going to leave me now, are you, Steven? After all I did for you? You have your shop to take care of, right?"

Not sure what to do with the woman he saw as his mother but who was very drunk and very embarassing right now, he carefully patted her back and grimaced at Red to get her away from him. But he made it very clear that he was glad to be rid of her, so Hyde was on his own now.

"No, Mrs... Kitty. I won't leave you. I might be gone for a week or two, I even moved out, but you don't believe I could stay away from you and your delicious cooking, do you?"

When he heard her signature laugh he knew his strategy had worked. Carefully he pulled away from her and made his way to the cooler where he sat down on a chair and enjoyed the cold liquid. There was no reason for him to leave this exact same spot-he was right next to the booze, after all.

Eric walked up to him a little while later and forced him to return from the place in his head he had spent so much time at recently.

"Hey, uhm, we wanna go down to the basement. You know."

And that was something he was even willing to give up his good spot up for.

Fifteen minutes later

The Circle

Fez was holding up a paper plate filled with chicken, salad and bread, wolfing it down like it was the last meal he'd ever get.

Donna and Eric were sitting together on the couch, making out like two teenagers.

Jackie twisted a strand of her hair around her finger and looked to her left at Hyde.

He was just staring at her with his mouth hanging slightly open. He tore his gaze away from her to look at his other friends.

"Yeah, even this sucks. Let's get out of here, Jackie."

They went back upstairs to find Red carrying off Kitty to the house, she was obviously not able to walk anymore. He pointed at Hyde and frowned.

"Let me tell you something, boy. If you decide to leave town I'll come after you to kick your ass. This is getting too much for her, and now my dumbass son decided to tell her he and his girlfriend are moving away to go to some other college far away from here. You stay."

They sat down at the table and Jackie grabbed a bottle of wine that was still sitting there, next to three empty ones, the reason why Kitty had to call it a night early. Smiling to herself she thought about the woman who had been like a mother to all of them. In most of these memories that woman was mixing a drink, had a drink or just had had a drink and she shook her head. They had always made fun of it, but Kitty really had a problem. But she also remembered all the good things... And unfortunately, the embarrassing moments, too.

"Remember when Kitty caught us making out in front of her fridge?"

If she didn't know it better she would have thought he had read her mind. But since it was the first time he ever came close to what she was thinking she was somewhat amused.

"How could I forget? There wasn't a place we didn't make out back then. Remember that one time in Eric's bedroom? And in Lauries? And..."

She stopped herself, realizing that they had somehow landed on dangerous territory. Talking about making out wasn't the best thing to do for two ex lovers who tried to be friends, especially not on a night like this when they were both drunk and had just shared a good amount of Hyde's special stash (the one for special occasions).

Fez stumbled up the basement steps, carrying a radio on his arms, "Chequered Love" by Kim Wilde was playing. He didn't make it that far before falling down and falling asleep a few feet away from them.

You say everything's alright
I say nothing can go right, yeah
Oh what a game you can play
Sad days add to confusion
Sad ways end in dillusion, yeah
That's the name of the game

"Fez. I don't think he'll ever change. But he'll still be leaving, like all of you do. That sucks man. We will all just lose contact and never see each other again."

Well I know your love is rough
And the road you take is tough
But I just can't get enough
Chequered love

Jackie had never thought about this. A part of her was still the naive little girl who wanted to believe everything would work out and be fine in the end, they would be good friends again. But thinking about her relationship with Donna she knew that this would probably never happen after all that they had been through.

Touch me, do what you want to
Say no, then, I just need you
Babe, your gonna drive me insane
You are man for all seasons
You are man with no reasons, yeah
You're the man with no pain

And she was sure she wouldn't see Hyde ever again. They had attempted to be friends somehow, but there was too much pain still too fresh, even after over a year. And she had to admit she still had feelings for him, so she was actually glad she could leave Point Place, and with it him, behind her.

Oh I can't let go
'cos I need you so tonight

"I'll better go now, I have to leave pretty early tomorrow. They'll be there I guess, so..."

She knew he wouldn't be there to say goodbye, friends or not, it just wasn't him. So he got up with her and walked her to her car where they were standing in silence, looking at their feet. Jackie found herself fighting back tears and decided to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, so... Maybe I'll see you around..."

She was surprised to feel his arms around her and caught off guard she hugged him back and found herself smelling his scent, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her, his cheek on hers, for one last time. She tried to pull back but he still held her tightly, so their faces were only an inch apart, lips temptingly close.

"Yeah, bye."

With that he turned around and walked away, into the backyard, shaking Fez. Jackie stood there a little while longer, reliving what had just happened, cursing herself for being weak.

July 31st, 1981

Hyde's Apartment

It was close to midnight and he found himself in his apartment, in an old worn out armchair, staring at the TV screen and waiting for actual pictures to fill the screen when MTV would launch at midnight. He had been at a party where some dark haired chick had been all over him and tried to lure him into his car, but he didn't really feel like partying and decided to go home. For some reason she had followed him and was currently trying to give him a lap dance to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" while he tried to get a better look at the TV screen.

She sat down on his lap facing him and tried to kiss him, but he turned his head away so she simply slid down and opened his belt.

"Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll!"

He looked up to see footage of the moon landing and heard a guitar riff being played. Some blond chick with weird hair appeared on screen introducing herself and announcing the first video to be played. He looked down and noticed that his pants were down and the chick from the party was trying to give him a blowjob, drunk as she was.

"Ah, what the hell."

He turned off the TV and pulled her over to the couch.

September 13th

The basement

He had a few very bad weeks. Fez was gone, leaving him with Donna and Eric. His father was sick and refused to tell anyone what was really going on. And Kitty kept talking about how Jackie was and when she had called and what she had said.

And he had found himself watching MTV over and over again to see what she was doing. Hyde didn't like to admit it, not even to himself, but she was really good. Especially compared to those losers they had paired her up with. And she looked pretty good, even though she had a more modern haircut now and was of course wearing clothes that matched the latest trend.

But what really pissed him off was that that stupid song kept following him around. And it pissed him off even more that he didn't really know why he was so pissed off. All he knew was it was about Jackie. But he didn't love her anymore. Not after all this time he did not. He was just mad at her most of the time but had decided to let it go. And now everywhere he turned that stupid song was playing somewhere. And he didn't even love her anymore.

Looking at the clock he realized Donna's show was on, so he got up and turned on the radio.

All your love is gone
So sing a lonely song
Of a deep blue dream
Seven horses seem to be on the mark

Yeah, don't you love her
Don't you love her as she's walkin' out the door

"God DAMN IT!"

He kicked over the spool that had served them as a table for all this years and went back to turn the radio off again. This couldn't be real. This wasn't real. He started pacing the basement, cursing everyone and everything around him.

What finally pulled him out of this was the sound of the door. He turned around and saw... Donna. He had been pacing the basement murmuring for the last two hours, without even realizing it. He had thought about Jackie for two hours, had wasted time and energy on her. And because nobody else was there and Donna playing the song on her show had started it, he felt the urge to slam her head into the nearest wall.

"What's wrong with you, Hyde? Do I even dare to ask?"

"Well, obviously you do. And you wanna know what's wrong? You people. You and Eric and everybody. You made me sick all this time and I don't even know why. Well, now I do. You guys really suck as friends. You don't even care what others want, you just care what you want. Damn you sicken me. Remember how we used to hand out and be friends? Somewhere along the road that turned into us hanging out and you guys being genuine assholes. And you even played that fucking Doors song. Ah, whatever. Fuck, I'm out of here!"

He stormed out of the basement and jumped into his car. But he didn't start it, he just sat there, staring at the dashboard. He turned his head and felt the urge to touch the window. It felt cold and smooth, but it felt real and familiar. Hyde leaned his head against the glass, closing his eyes and screwing them into tight pits of gristle as a wave of unbearably intense emotion crashed down on the shores of his soul. His lips writhed, he tried to speak, he tried to yell, but all he could manage after a while was a hoarse whisper.

"Jackie!"

One word, one name. After over a month of her physically leaving him he had finally realized that she was gone. While she was still there there was always the chance of seeing here, even the chance of them getting drunk and hook up. Or maybe get back together. But now she was in New York.

She was gone.

Yeah, all your love is gone
So sing a lonely song
Of a deep blue dream
Seven horses seem to be on the mark

Well, don't ya love her madly
Don't ya love her madly
Don't ya love her madly