Date Written: October 7, 2007

Summary: Sooooo… Where exactly did those images come from, anyway?

Flo: I'll explain my reasons for continuing this at the end.

WARNINGS! Shoot, if you've gotten past the first chapter then I don't think I need to say anything, but just in case. Pretty much the same stuff as last time.

NOTE! Chapters might be short... for my standards, at least. And sorry for any typos, this has been sitting in my folder for a week and every time I remember I need to look it over, I'm exhausted from work. I currently am now, as well, but I'm like, "screw it!" So voila.

Hope you enjoy!

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"So, Sanji," Chopper began during breakfast that same morning. "How are you feeling today?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow at this question, not so much on the question itself, but the tone. As if he had already been feeling bad. Aside from that disturbing dream, he was fine. Hell, the fact that it was only a dream was a relief in a twisted way. So he answered, "Fine, Chopper… Why? Do I look sick or something?"

The entire crew at the table, minus Zoro and of course Luffy, stopped in their eating and stared at him. Luffy stared as well, but didn't take a break in inhaling his food. All Sanji could do was stare back in confusion. Could they see the horror he experienced last night in his face?

Suddenly, Nami broke the silence and laughed. "No reason, Sanji!" she said. "Uh, it's just that, um… you hit your head yesterday! Yeah! Isn't that right, Usopp?"

Usopp jumped at his sudden pull into the conversation, but quickly understood and said, "Yup! You were carrying some drinks for Nami and Robin when Luffy attacked you for food and you hit your head so hard that when you fell that you were knocked completely unconscious! Yes, I do believe that that taught Luffy a great lesson that day. One in which he could maybe learn to be as great a captian as myself one day and-"

"I did not!" Luffy protested through a mouth full of a God Knows What kind of food mix. "He fainted from-!"

He didn't get a chance to finish, though, as Robin had produced some arms from his head and covered his mouth completely.

"Our captian seems to forget," she said. "Cook-san doesn't faint. Isn't that right?"

Sanji could only nod as everyone at the table had stupid grins on their faces and kept awkwardly laughing. Except for Zoro.

Forgetting about that useless lump, though, Sanji began to wonder what exactly was going on.

UuUuUuUuUuUuUuU

This is stupid! Sanji was thinking as he made his way to give Nami her refreshments. Why should I suspect anything's going on? Nami said that I hit my head, so I hit my head! Why reason would there be for such a goddess to lie?

As we all know, a beautiful woman never lies anyway, so Sanji was right on track. Or so he told himself.

Then again, he had much better and more important things to do. Such as provide his Nami with proper nourishment so she would never have to go on a "diet." Oh, how Sanji loathed that word. Every time her heard Nami say it, it crushed his heart.

"Nami!" Sanji sang as he knocked on her door. "I have a delicious fruit drink made specially for you!"

No answer.

"Nami?" he tried again with another knock, this one a bit louder. There was still nothing, even the door did creak open a crack.

Strange, Sanji thought. Isn't she always in her room at this time?

He took a quick glance around her room, then shrugged his shoulders and turned around with the intention of going onto the deck. Perhaps Nami had decided to relocate and do her chartings where there was more of a breeze? Just as he was about to make his way there, he stepped on a piece of paper.

Simple logic told Sanji that it had merely blown out of Nami's room when the door had opened and bent over to pick it up.

Such a decision would haunt the man for the rest of his life.

Upon the paper was not weather predictions or charts or maps. Oh, no. There, printed on the sheet, were panels of Zoro and himself engaged in… in… activities that are completely unspeakable!

But they must be spoken.

Zoro was blatantly putting his hands all under Sanji's shirt, shortly followed by one going down the front of his pants. Then he licked the back of his neck! He seemed to be looking for something. That was no excuse, though. Sanji was being molested against his will and Zoro was obviously about to rape him! He was saying stop and everything, and Sanji's first thought was honestly, Why haven't I kicked the bastard yet?

Then, Wait… this looks like part of that horrible mural in my dream…

Before he could study the sketches more or remember anything else, though, they were taken from his hand by a scarred, tan one.

Marimo.

Due to shock and confusion, Sanji really had no idea how he was supposed to react. Embarrassed wasn't right because it wasn't like it was his idea or Zoro wasn't in it as well. Anger wasn't right either since it would make it sound as though he enjoyed looking at them. Every other emotion would just be out of place, too. So Sanji stood there and watched Zoro stare at the picture, face completely blank (Like his head, Sanji thought).

Finally, he looked up and said, "Is this supposed to be me?"

"Who the hell else would it be, you shitty swordsman?!" Sanji yelled.

Zoro blinked before casually continuing. "Well, I can tell that that's you 'cause of the eyebrow… but why am I hugging you?"

"More like why are you molesting me?!"

"Hm?" Zoro squinted his eyes at the picture. They then nearly bugged out of his skull as his face turned red. "What the hell?! Why would you read this?!"

"What?!"

"I mean, I figured you had dirty comic books or something and a hell of a lot of kinks, but with me?! And to go so far as to have someone draw and write something with us, that's weird, man!" Zoro paused and seemed to begin to contemplate something as he looked down at his chest before, "My pecs aren't that big, are they?"

That got a swift kick to the head. "I didn't have that out of my own choosing, idiot! It came from Nami's room! And you WISH that I had kinks about you!"

After about five minutes of the basic insults and fighting that was no shock to their crew members, hence why they didn't come down, something must have clicked in the swordsman's head. Perhaps that something was, "Why are we fighting each other when we have both been wronged?" or, "Say, maybe we should try this. You know what they say! Don't knock it 'til 'ya try it!"

But no. It was more like, "What am I pissed about? It looks like I'm gonna be on top."

Of course, the cook didn't see the greatness in this revelation. "It doesn't matter! Somebody is producing pornographic material of us doing it together behind our backs…! And just because you seem to have the upper hand in that one picture, doesn't mean I won't turn the tables on you later, ya' know!"

"I'd like to see you try, you perverted cook!"

Eventually, the two calmed down/decided to see if there were more pictures continuing this in order to find out who ends up topping. Logic told them that there might be more in Nami's room, and after Zoro was forced by Sanji to take a solemn vow not to go through her panties (not that he would 'cause… come on, it's Zoro!), they entered.

Not five minutes later: "Hey, I told you to not got through Nami's panties!"

"I'm not!" Zoro yelled. "She's just weird and put them in the top drawer instead of the bottom!"

"Since when do you actually think about where to put your underwear? Last I heard, you toss the nasty things on the ground."

"I'm not talking about this with you."

"Good, 'cause I don't want to! Just stay completely out of her dresser! You might stumble across something that's private!"

"You mean like those drawings that we're trying to find?"

"That does it!"

Sanji spun around and aimed a kick for Zoro's head, while Zoro took out his swords and quickly blocked it. Really, it was all quite predictable. Kick, block, jab, duck, kick, block, jab, duck, over and over, until Zoro slashed one of Nami's curtains.

Silence and a quick glance to make sure she hadn't heard the fabric rip and was charging down to pummel them into the ground. Nothing. The two sighed in relief, then Sanji remembered what was going on while Zoro's attention went to the damage and maybe how he could hide it.

"You stupid, shit head!" Sanji pretty much screeched. "You've ruined Nami's lovely curtains! Now what will block the sun from disturbing her sleep?!"

Zoro didn't say anything. He kept staring at the large rip he had made. This was pissing Sanji off.

"Hey, didn't you hear me?! I said-!"

"Shut up and look what's behind it!"

Grabbing his head, Zoro shoved Sanji's face toward the wall behind the curtains, only to have him desperately trying to get away from them two seconds later with only three words for Zoro to try to understand why.

"It's the mural!"

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1.) Reason for continuing: It's amazing what ideas come to you while you're bored at work. I got to thinking, "Wait, how would Sanji get such images to dream about in the first place?" Plus, I had a lot of fun writing the first chapter anyway. Still debating whether or not to make this an actual Zoro/Sanji fic. Any opinions? Either way works. Though, admittedly, if I were to make them a couple at the end, a sequel might happen. -shrug-

2.) I don't really think that Zoro would freak out about this nearly as much as Sanji… so long as he's dominating. Plus, aside from fighting and crucial decisions, Zoro doesn't seem to care much about other things. Except, if you go by the fandom, having sex with everyone and every thing.

A/N: Figured I should stop with that discovery since if I kept going, this would be the entire story. Explanations will be mostly in the next chapter.

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with links to a seriously hot and SCANLATED Zoro/Sanji doujinshi that actually doesn't show much naughty parts… no, seriously! If you want, I can!