My Security
Chapter 27
I hoped to update earlier, but the recent NH storyline on the show has me loosing motivation. I wasn't really happy with this short chapter, but here it goes.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Unknown
"I'm sorry, son." the lawyer patted Nathan on the back, handing him the sheet of paper he had just read aloud. Jimmy followed, escorting the attorney out of their home.
Tears filled Haley's eyes as she watched the scene play out along with emotional faces of their friends as they anticipated Nathan's soon-to-come reaction. She left her position and walked over to the sofa, where a despondent Nathan was reading the DNA results over and over.
"This can't be...99.9...There's no chance?" he gasped.
For the first time, he noticed Haley had arrived, his sullen cobalt eyes meeting loving brown ones. "She's...she's...not mine." He clarified to no one in particular. She stepped closer, invading his space and rubbing her delicate palm across his chiseled cheek.
"I know, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I know how much you love Helena...we both do." she choked. Nathan nodded along looking down at the results again. Almost mechanically, he skimmed the page, and then suddenly backed away before ripping the paternity test to shreds. He marched out of the room. "I'm borrowing Mr. James car and going over there to get my baby!"
"You can't." Haley argued much to Nathan's surprise.
"Why not?" He whirled around to face her.
"Just don't go Nathan, it's done." She rung her hands together and chewed on her bottom lip.
"I'll ask you again...Why not, Haley?" His voice rose because he was becoming agitated by her uncharacteristic behavior.
The faced off for a moment, silently communicating their own frustrations when the girl finally threw up her hands and replied to his prior question.
"They're not there. No ones there, okay! She screamed, venting her rage at the situation.
The boy backed against the wall as the rounded the second wing of the home. What the hell was he going to do now?
Cautiously, the petite brunette made her way to him. "I was going to surprise you." She was in tears now. "I went over there hoping to pick up Helena and bring her back here, so she could celebrate the results with us...but the pace was empty...no sign anyone ever lived there...except for this note attached to the front door." Reaching in to her purse she pulled out an envelope and held it out for him. On the front, Nathan was written in Nikki's handwriting. "I was going to give it to you once everyone left. I didn't open it." She said softly, hoping he knew she wouldn't invade his privacy like that.
His strong fingers took the letter from his girlfriend and he quickly tore open the paper. A small square of paper about the size of a Post It floated out of the woven fibers and down to hard wood floor. There was no need to pick it up. The words could be read clearly from where they stood.
Nathan,
Sorry, it wasn't suppose to go this far.
You weren't suppose to be so great to Helena.
Things were suppose to be different.
I'll always tell her how loved she was by you...
The father she could have/ should have had.
Nikki
Nathan ran his hands through his hair, his limbs shaking with restlessness. Nikki barged in weeks ago, turned his live inside out and all he was worthy of getting besides a heart ache was a lousy sheet of orange paper with some phony apology. Yet, why was he startled by this. His life had gone to hell a long time ago.
"I was happy, so happy!" he exclaimed on his way down the next corridor. "I should have known the other shoe was going to drop...I don't deserve love." he paced into an empty room. "Why should anyone care about me...a stupid orphan with no fucking future...Aunt Deb was right." he murmured.
"Nathan, nothing that woman has ever said was right!" Haley spoke up, finally catching up with his long stride. "You deserve everything. I love you and I always will." She insisted as she tried to embrace him.
Gently, he pushed her aside, before glancing down at her. "Don't, Haley. Loving me only brings disaster. I never want that for you...I couldn't bear it." he sniffed.
Then, he was gone, vanished from the study where they had been chatting.
Haley returned to the questions and sympathy of their friends. She thanked all of them for coming and politely apologized for Nathan not being up to visitors due to the current situation. Gradually, they started to leave. Lucas was the first, storming out, and no good bye. Lastly, she walked Brooke and Peyton to the door.
"I don't know why everyone is acting so stunned. I told you guys Helena wasn't Nathan's from day one. That ho Nikki found out about his big ass trust fund." Peyton advised.
"She is definitely a gold digger." Brooke added.
"Bet she thought she would be set for life." Peyton huffed. I guess she couldn't pay someone off to fake the DNA." Impressed, she smirked before frowning again. "The bitch had the nerve to use her own kid like that...she's low."
Brooke elbowed her so hard; she nearly knocked the lanky girl over. They watched the distance in Haley's eyes, how hurt she too appeared to be at revelation Helena wasn't her boyfriends child. This gave them even more respect for the quiet beauty. The dark haired girl hugged Haley.
"Ignore Sawyer...she means well." She defended sweetly, leaning back to see her face and tapping her chin. "Haley, I know it may not seem like it, but this is a good thing."
Brown eyes narrowed defensively as the shorter girl took a few steps out of the embrace. "How can it be? Nathan's devastated...I'm..."
"It's the way it should be." Brooke shrugged with no apology. "Haley, when the time is right, Nathan's baby should come from you. It will be beautiful." She fantasized and Peyton nodded in agreement. "I have dibs on corrupting him." She teased, walking past Haley and following Peyton out the door. Haley shut it behind her, sliding down the fine wood and finally letting herself fall apart not only for the loss of precious Helena, but for the days she now had numbered with the love of her life.
Ten minutes later, Haley did her best to compose herself before going to check on Nathan. She was aware of the boy's history of erratic behavior when his emotions were in an upheaval. She wanted to be prepared for the worst; rage, panic or even the possibility he would take off like he had done in the past...abandon her.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked lightly on his bedroom door. Opening the door, she was calmed by what she saw. Nathan was sound asleep, clutching a picture frame in his hand. Carefully, Haley removed the item. Upon further inspection, found it was a photo of his parents, the only one Deb had allowed him to keep after he was sent to stay with her after their death. Haley ran her fingers across the glass. They were a gorgeous couple, still quit young in their late thirties. Nathan's was the spitting image of his father. This thought made Haley smile. He'd only get better with age. Haley perched the photograph on the night stand with a heavy sigh.
"I know you miss them and need them, especially now...I wish my mom were here too." she remarked aloud to the silent room.
Setting down her purse, she slipped out of her shoes and Jacket. She tossed the articles of clothing to the wingback chair in the corner of the room before climbing in and curling up into Nathan's side. He lay on his back, so she resting her weary head on his chest, her arms crossing his shirt covered middle as she protectively clung to him, hoping to shield him from all the pain of the world, so damn angry at Nikki for what she had put him through. But was worst, she, herself had been insecure and selfish to Nathan, jealous of a little girl. She had feared positive result of the paternity test, but this was far more tragic. If only she could take them back because she too loved Helena. A child's love was so sacred. If only…..
Yawns fell from her lips and she snuggled further into the boy's muscular side. She was exhausted by the day's events, her worry for Nathan and what their impending future would bring. Soon, she was napping too.
Jimmy James tip toed through the partially opened door of the teenage male that lived in his home only to find him in bed with his eldest daughter. Yet the scene didn't get a rise out of him, only a sentimental memory and a ghost of a smile. He remembered loving someone with such dedication once...a long, long time ago.
He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Nathan! Haley! You guys get up." was his fatherly demand. "You haven't' had your dinner yet and it's getting late. I'll meet you in the dining room in twenty minutes."
Watching the drowsy pair start to stretch and yawn, he mad his exit, thinking how sour the evening had turned. Truthfully, he had been relieved Helena wasn't Nathan's daughter. The young man wasn't ready for fatherhood. Nathan had the best of intentions, but he was still so young and immature himself, so battered. Besides, he was sure Nikki had ulterior motives that apparently didn't pan out and give her the results she wanted. God, he was grateful for that. As Helena's father, Nikki would have driven a wedge between him and Haley and he would eventually have to sacrifice going to New Jersey with Haley in the fall to get any type of visitation with that cute toddler. Jimmy didn't think Nathan could survive a separation from Haley like that for very long...or vice versa.
As the pair became lucid, both lay facing each other, holding hands as they had done after waking for years now. Haley studied Nathan, afraid to say anything that might close him off even more than the way he left their last conversation. But she couldn't help reaching out to him as his eyes glistened with water. She let go of his hand and brought hers up to his handsome face. She brushed the back of her hand over his cheek and along his strong jaw line. His pain became hers and her eyes soon mirrored his. He took the initiative and laid his hand at her slender waist, drawing her close, breathing in her delicious scent.
"Shhhh...don't cry, Baby. You'll get me started." He whispered. "I didn't mean to lash out at you or what I said." He confessed. "I was hurt and being self-deprecating. Didn't you teach me that word?" He tried to lighten the mood a bit. She gave him a proud little smile. He kissed her forehead. "The way you love me is everything, Haley. I'm going to make sure I do my best to make sure you never regret it." He seriously voiced.
She shook her head adamantly. "I won't ...I couldn't regret a second I share with you, Sweetheart. I love you and we'll get through this the way we've always done...together, I prom..."
Nathan's mouth was connected to hers before she could finish her sentence. Tears still stained both their faces as the salty kisses fuel and undying hunger and need for closeness during this time of trouble. They spent the next couple of minutes, caressing, petting, holding and kissing like two crazy kids in love. They made out to the last possible minute, and then went to join Mr. James for a family dinner.
Later that evening, Haley stayed at Nathan's foster home. Mr. James knew it was futile to request she sleep in one of the guest room, called it a night right after dinner, hoping the recent incident with Nikki and Helena would at least get the pair to use safe sex.
"But, Hales." the pouting blue eyed lad whined as his mate pushed him off her and buttoned up the oversized pajama top she was wearing.
"Nathan Scott! I will not have sex in my father's home!" she warned in a hush tone. "That's just disrespectful." She blushed.
"We were already heading to third base!" he moaned. His arousal was still very prominent and damn it, he wanted to make love. "Fine, let's just go to sleep." He gave in, throwing his athletic body down and across the mattress; he rolled his eyes in frustration.
Haley was a girl that like rules and sticking by them. She wasn't going to budge on sex at the James mansion. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, thinking of his aunt to ease, no completely loose his hardness. Opening them again, he watched Haley rub her pretty brown eyes and get comfortable on her side of the bed before he nestled into his familiar sleeping spot, his head lying on her breast with his long arm across her chest, cover the other perfect mound. Sure, this wasn't sex with Haley, incredible, mind blow sex with his girl. It was better. It was what meant the most...It was love.
Pamela.