"What's up with you two?" Oliver looked at Miley and me uneasy, "I feel like I'm missing out on something… like I'm not as close to you guys, as you are to each other…"
Miley glanced at me, chewing on her bottom lip, she didn't know what to say, and I sure as hell didn't, because there was something going on between us that made us closer to each other than to Oliver. "Why don't you come over this afternoon?" Miley asked Oliver.
I shot Miley a look… we were supposed to be celebrating our 1st month together… today. Miley shrugged and ignored me. "Okay," Oliver replied smiling, "I'm gonna get some ketchup, I'll be right back," he left the table. I was cutting Chemistry right now so I could eat lunch with Miley.
"Honey, we can celebrate after he leaves, promise," I loved it when she called me pet names. I began to feel giddy inside again. I reached my hand over and laced our fingers together, lightly placing my head on her shoulder. I felt the urge to touch Miley's soft skin everywhere, caress her, but I had to restrain myself… we were in school.
"Tired, Lils?" Oliver asked sitting back down with a plate full of ketchup.
I quickly ripped my head away from Miley's shoulder and placed my hands in my lap, "What do you need all that ketchup for?" I laughed.
I should've seen the signs… that Miley was going to break up with me on our 1st month anniversary, but I'm not the most observant person.
Oliver waved walking out her front her door, a humongous smile plastered on his face. I was angry at Miley; she flirted with Oliver the whole time. I crossed my arms and turned my back to her, I wanted her to know I was angry. "Lilly," her voice pleaded.
She gently touched my shoulder, and as if it were acid, I flinched away. "You might've as well had sex with him on the couch," I snarled, laying all over him like that, running her hands through his hair, lightly touching his skin, I shivered, I couldn't think about him and her.
"Lilly… I feel something with Oliver," I spun around, my eyes already hot with pain, and frustration.
"What?" I choked out.
"I mean I feel something with you… but…" she looked at the floor, and fiddled with her fingers, lightly cracking them before continuing, "but you're not a guy, Lilly."
She started this with me! I would've never had feelings for her if it weren't for her! That doesn't make sense… but I feel like she pushed herself on me, when I didn't even know I liked her yet. I hiccupped once, and a tear fell, I hiccupped twice, and more tears fell, "That shouldn't matter," my voice was barely audible.
"I just wouldn't ever be able to show my affection for you in public, I want to… but I can't. I'd be embarrassed," ouch. Burn.
I didn't realize how much I was crying, or that my nose was running, and dripping down over my lips, down my chin. I just knew I fell to my knees on her floor, and she fell with me, grasping me in her arms, rocking me. At the same time of wanting to cling onto her, I wanted to push her away as far as I could. I loved her and hated her at the same time right now. She breathed in my ear, whispering, "Shhh, it'll be okay," as if she still cared. She stroked my hair with her elegant fingers as if she still cared. She kissed my head as if she still cared. And she kissed my lips one last time as if she cared.
Ever since that night, I've always loved Miley, and every time I see her I feel a pang in my heart. Every time she doesn't return my phone calls, I feel like crying. Every time she avoids me, I want to break down and let her see how much pain she causes me.
I still hear her voice shouting in my head "You're the one who started this!" but she was so wrong. Doesn't she remember she was the one who kissed me? The one who asked me out? The one who broke up with me? The one who started dating Oliver behind my back?
"Lilly," my mom knocks on my door, "we have to leave for the anger session in five minutes," she opens the door slightly, giving me an apologetic smile.
Ever since I stopped showing no emotion but depression around her, she's been giving me those apologetic smiles, it makes me wonder if something's up. This is the first anger session I have to attend to… with Miley. We have to go to three of them, before we're allowed back in school. I am not looking forward to seeing her face.