"Alright you can leave Miss Truscott, Mr. Stewart," the wrinkled woman with beehive hair and blood red fingernails orders.
I feel nervous; Miley is sitting right across from me… the opposite side of the room. Is she going to bring it up? Our relationship? Should I stay silent? My mother gives me a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before leaving the room. Mr. Stewart gives Miley thumbs up; he never knows what gesture to use… and well that one seemed a bit awkward for this situation. Miley picks at her cuticles, crosses her legs, coughs, constantly doing things to distract herself from what's happening.
"Well," she starts out with a loud voice, "I'm Dr. Lilac," Miley giggles, probably noticing the similarity in our names, well my first name, her last name. "So who wants to explain to me first, what happened?"
My eyes dart to Miley, but she seemed disinterested. I look down at my feet, and I hear Miley speak up, "I shouldn't even be here, she's the one who started the fight, so obviously she's the one with a problem."
Are you telling me that what we had meant nothing? That now you don't even care if we're friends anymore? I squeeze my eyes shut, this session is going to be too emotional for me, it's best if I just keep quiet, and let Miley do all the talking… who cares what I think anyways?
"Well there had to be a reason for Lillian to start this fight, Miley, do you think you did anything wrong?" Dr. Lilac stares at Miley.
Miley's face seems to go through series of emotions, "I did nothing wrong," she seemed to be controlling her voice so she wouldn't cry, "she just has a silly schoolboy crush on me that she can't get over. She's jealous that I'm dating someone."
She did not just go there. Is she fucking kidding me? A silly schoolboy crush? Is that how she really sees it…? I don't even lo--… who am I kidding? Yeah I still love her; it's my fault for falling for the wrong person. "Lillian, do you have feelings for Miley?" Dr. Lilac's voice snaps me back to where I was.
"Yes," I breathe out, defeated. I'm not going to fight her, or anything. I just want to get out of here. I glance at Miley; she seemed concerned, before she saw I was looking at her.
"Were you jealous that Miley was dating someone?" she presses on.
"Yes," I say again, staring at the bright red of my converse against the pale gray dullness of Dr. Lilac's carpet.
"Sometimes expressing how you feel will help prevent incidents like this occur. Lillian, maybe it's best if you take a break from Miley if you still have these feelings for her?"
"Okay," I'm just agreeing to everything. After this I don't want to see Miley again, but deep down I know I'm longing for her touch, for her to look at me again. For her to even care. I pull my legs up to my chest, still sitting in the chair, Miley has her right leg over her right, and she looks shocked.
"And Miley, maybe when you're dating someone, it's best not to flaunt that relationship in front of Lillian?" Dr. Lilac seemed proud of herself for solving this issue between us. But she didn't do anything, nothing has been solved, the only thing is now I know Miley really doesn't care for me anymore. She just thinks I'm some silly schoolboy.
"O-Okay," Miley studders.
"Well, I see no reason to have anymore sessions. You two are free to go," Dr. Lilac has a humongous smile plastered on her face. She must not be much of a therapist to notice the true meaning behind mine and Miley's voice when we spoke.