I AM SOOO SORRY; I UPLOADED THE UNEDITED CHAPTER!!! OH GOD!!! WELL HERE'S THE PROPER PIECE!!! SORRY AGAIN!!!

Wow; My first proper chapter: sorry about the wait... I had writer's block, a funeral, exams, and blood test. Lovely. Just to let you know; this mightn't seem the way it will actually be in future... I don't know... Don't judge Selphie; I was trying to set her up with the right kind of realistic (at least in my most unfortunate experiences of my ridiculous agegroup) personality. She may seem slightly Over The Top... but I'm known for that kind of thing... So deal with it. In the nicest possible way; of course. Anywho: this could seem dark (and more then likely weird; as I am in fact me at this point in time: which is a usual indication of such mentalities running though my stories) Anywho; here you go. Me and my fanfic.

Warning; there may be biting invovled.

With many thanks to lebrezie; for the excitement, for complementing my ever-changing writing styles, and for thinking I should be a proffesional poet (I'm aming for actor, but thanks... and you do realise I didn't actually write the stuff in the first part of the prolouge; that I just arranged approriate passages from W.B. Yeats instead... right?), to Jynx (Jynxer120); a loooong time as you can probably tell (though I'm not sure it's billiance) : ), and to Shawn16 for liking the intrigue.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts; any of it... but I own the plot and there's no law against using the same names as something else for characters; so hah! It's all legally mine... I think...

Chapter One

-Roxas-

xXxXx

"Selphie; for the last time: no!" I sighed; Selphie had basically been on the phone to me since we left her house. Her parents being away meant one thing to her: party. Selphie seemed to have her abode all to herself every other weekend; so she was like the queen of the good time social scene... not of the bitchy clique brigade (though they were omnipresent at her events); she just tried to make everyone have fun, keep everyone happy. But sometimes she was a little too eager for everyone else's pleasure; she'd frequently end up in a closet making-out with some guy, or she'd try desperately to get everyone a match. This was one of those times.

"Why not? I mean; you were attached to her face for some of the night. I don't see why you wouldn't-"

"NO! I don't like her; and you basically flung me at her! And she bites!" I argued

"Paine doesn't bite." She retorted

"How would you know?" I asked; but then again...

"It was a dare in seventh grade." She replied as if it explained everything.

"Well; she wasn't the same back then when her favourite colour was pastel pink." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation.

Sora, walking beside me in silence, shot me a confused glance. I mouthed the words 'Selphie-scored-Paine-on-a-dare-in-seventh-grade-and-doesn't-seem-to-realise-she-uses-her-teeth-now'; he smirked.

"Well I just think it's time for you to get a girlfriend again. I mean come on; you-"

"Selphie will you just accept the fact that I don't want an anchor right now?" I cut her off; I didn't want to hear the last words of the previous sentence; I knew exactly what she'd say: the things I knew were true.

"An anchor? What the fuck Roxas; we're not shipping equipment!" she said in an irritated sort of way.

"Not you; girlfriends in general." I replied; telling her my honest opinion. Girlfriends meant a leash. Someone who wanted you to do stuff with them whenever you were free; keeping you away from your friends and wasting your time. Kissing? Good stuff; along with what followed. Conversation; fine if the girl has a brain. But constant presence, annoying friends, and all those expectations? Nope. Not my thing. And besides... I'd had bad experience which taught me that no matter how cool the girl was; there was no guaranty.

"I am someone's girlfriend in general! I think... wait; no sorry, my mistake... But still." I had to snigger at this

"Um... Selphie? What about Tidus? Didn't you want to get him in the closet tonight?" I asked; knowing full well the answer. Selphie ate boys for breakfast; but when it came to Tidus, she was never sure of herself around him. She was always just about to tell him how she felt when some guy would walk past and she'd chicken out; going off to have some meaningless liaison under the bleachers with random guy A instead of confronting the one male that she actually cared for. Somehow; she'd never be what you'd call a slut... she was too nice for that. She just liked to be loved; and then some. She was always somehow convinced that the next time would lead to true love... but that didn't happen. She was a hopeless romantic at heart; but she often fell victim to lust, because that was something she knew how to handle.

"Uh; well then there was this guy, and I just got a little distracted... okay; I admit it. I am the female version of a womanizer... a manizer."

"Maneater; and it's okay to be nervous" I said; finding the perfect way to distract her.

"I was NOT nervous. I'm... slutty and promiscuous. SHUT UP! And why would I be nervous about Tidus? I mean he's hardly a big deal; if he was a big deal I wouldn't get off with other guys. That's just common sense." I had to cover my mouth to stop the laughter reaching her.

"Um... you want me to say you do the rounds and you're a whore? You actually honestly want that? Wow! You really like him!" I mocked once I regained my composure (only to risk loosing it again); humming 'Love is in the air'... a song I couldn't stand; but it had it's uses.

"I DO NOT! FUCK YOU! AND YOU CAN'T KEEP A MUSICAL NOTE FOR SHIT!" She yelled

"Calm down Selphie; now, I realise you're in denial but: this is not the answer. You need to accept your emotions. Taking out your pent up frustration on innocent people, such as me, is not the answer. And I know I can sing; I'm unavoidably talented. This is just a sign of denial." I said in what I knew to be an annoyingly calm voice.

"Roxas; I'm going now. You're an asshole."

"You're slutty and promiscuous."

"Well I think you're gay; please accept this and find a boyfriend. Making up excuses about girls actually being vampires doesn't solve anything. Goodnight"

And then she hung up. I laughed softly; stuffing my cell in my back pocket. I had successfully pissed her off and got her to go away. We were constantly having arguments over how I should get a girlfriend; she only ever falsely accused me of being gay when she was really irritated by my evasion of the subject. I had talked to her before (at about three o'clock in the morning after one of her more-memorable –or should I say less?- wild house parties) about how it could be potentially offensive to gay people to accuse me as such as though it were a bad thing. She replied that if her gay friends aggravated her; she called them straight. I asked her about bi; she said she called them asexual. Asexual? Bi. As I remembered what she had said about her knowledge of Paine's mouth-work; I couldn't help but regret not throwing her own twisted comeback in her face.

I was about to comment on this to Sora; when I realised he was no longer there. 'Where the hell is he now?' I thought; seeing no sign of him.

"Sora? Hello?" I called; feeling slightly worried. Sora had a certain eccentricity; a knack for doing bizarre or extreme things that some mistook for stupidity. He wasn't senseless though; he just didn't care about anything enough to have rational concern for his own well being. I was apprehensive. I knew he needed something; some source of light or someone to guide him back to reality: but I didn't know what to do. Neither did anyone else. So his sudden disappearance invoked anxiety. However, within seconds the spiky haired expert in the illogical was hurtling past me in a frenetic blur.

"SORA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?" I yelled after him as he sprinted straight past his house.

Next thing I knew; I was dashing after him. He wasn't quite at his soberest, though he was getting there, and he was usually in a chaotic frame of mind: I knew from experience that this combination was nine point five times out of ten not a good idea. Funny; but not good.

As I rounded the corner I was just beginning to wonder how long I'd be running when I saw Sora was just standing there looking freaked out and confused. I stopped just in time to prevent myself from crashing into him.

"Jesus Sora! WHAT was that for?" I asked, hands on my knees as I got my breathing under control.

"Roxas, did you just…did- never mind, I must be losing it! That's the second time in two days I've seen her." Sora said; at first questioning and then mumbling in a way that made it seem as though he was really searching for a sign that something incomprehensible to me still existed in him. His statement, however, had me perplexed... but also worried. I scanned the street for any signs of a "her"; hoping (though knowing it was not the case) that he was talking about someone from Selphie's. When I saw no one along the stretch of path or road; the unease set in. Sometimes I really honestly questioned the state of Sora's mind. I took a side glance at the boy in question; a little desperate to see a look that would tell me he was messing with me. But I saw nothing there but utter bewilderment.

"Who're you talking about? I don't see anybody!" still vainly grasping for a sane explanation. None such clarification came.

"Exactly; I'm losing it!"He sounded as though he'd been expecting this; but was still a bit freaked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked straight out; seeking a similarly simple answer.

"Okay, yesterday I was in the alcove…you know mulling everything over about Olette and Riku… and I had this weird feeling…"

He'd said her name... He said the name each of us avoided. The name he hadn't spoken for months... I had to admit; it was hard to hear. I knew I'd winced in reflex of its sound... and I felt guilty. I always felt guilty. But this guilt caused me physical pain. I wondered if she was who he'd been talking about. Whether she was "her". With Sora; anything was possible.

"What kind of weird feeling?" I pressed on; making my voice sound heavily suggestive in a bid to lighten the mood of the situation; though I doubted it was something I could do... where was Selphie when you needed her? Actually; I really didn't want to know. And she probabley wouldn't be much help on this topic anyways...

"Not that kind of feeling you sick weirdo. Is that all you think about?" He played along... but I knew that it was only a temporary relief.

"Yes; but go on…explain, before I get any more ideas." I smirked, speaking before considering the possibility that I didn't want to hear his reasoning...

"It felt like…like Kairi was there. I- I don't know how to explain it. It was like gut-instinct or something but… I dunno. Then I looked around, and I saw her in the shadows. She was right there in the darkness and I reached out and then she was gone. I ran after her but there was no one there on the beach I knew, so I ran up to the plaza but I couldn't see her anywhere. I was so sure she was there… And then when you were on the phone I got the feeling again, so I looked around and I thought I saw her again; standing under the tree. I thought she was there; I was looking at her and then….then she wasn't. So I ran. I was sooo sure she was running just a second or two ahead of me but now…. I don't know… I must finally be cracking."

It all came out in a manically panicked sort of way... Kairi? I knew she had been a friend of his once upon a time. He'd found her washed up on a beach when he was seven; she had no memory of who she was or how she'd gotten there. An Amnesiac. They'd apparently been inseparable after that; she'd even lived in his house for a short span of time. Back when Riku and Sora were best friends she'd been the third to their trio. But when forced to leave by child welfare officials when the boarding school she had stayed in for two and a half years closed down; they lost contact. Half a year later Sora received a phone call from her... but apparently she'd hung up on him. Sora'd been pretty beat up after she'd left... he'd allegedly had a minor relapse of similar behaviour after the phone incident. I knew he still found it hard; even so long afterwards... he'd drop her name into conversations without even realising he'd done so. I didn't think that something so far back would be the last straw... but apparently it was.

"You've been hallucinating about some-girl -" it was too much; this was ridiculous. Even for him.

"My best friend." Sora interrupted me "Or my old best friend… I don't know anymore …"

"Sora, she hasn't talked to you in like…four and a half years. I mean, that's before Olette got here. That's before I arrived. That is before the whole damn-" I looked for the right word for a second, agitated "War even happened!!! I mean, if you keep thinking of Kairi as your best friend, you're just keeping yourself even further back in the past. You were friends with Riku back then!"

I spat the last part. It was all so ludicrous and if Riku was any indication of his former choice of friends; I wasn't so sure that I ever wanted to know her. The destruction Riku had caused was too great... who knew what this once-sweet little girl could provoke...

"Roxas; I know the difference between the past and the future. No, I'm not…over what happened, but I'm not obsessed with it…well not that much… and anyway Kairi had nothing to do with any of it. I think it might just be delayed grief or something…." He offered dejectedly.

But I knew the truth; none of us understood the difference between the past and the future or even the present anymore. Everything was a vague sequence of events... nothing seemed linked; but then everything seemed to blend... I couldn't explain it. Nothing could. And we were obsessed with it; Sora, like me (though I tried to hide it), was one of members of our little group who was lost in it all... it had cut him deep. And at first I was so bitterly pleased of this. I wished it on him. I felt guilty about it, even at the time, because I knew it was all too messed up and the only person to blame for it was Riku and maybe Olette (though I never voiced my acidic thoughts on her); but both of them were untouchable. So I dumped it all on Sora instead. But after a while I began to realise the error of my ways. I began to see that I just couldn't keep it up. He was as broken as the rest of us... and I think he really immersed himself in his regret. But I can barely remember. Times were ruff all over. And I knew it wasn't delayed grief either; it was constant... and maybe, to him, Kairi was a symbolism of happier times, of a youth and innocence we all lost too young.

I mulled it all over; unsure of what to say... unsure of the world. I finally managed to compel speech.

"Okay, whatever… Let's go back to your's and, I dunno, do something else."

Anything but think. Anything but feel. Anything but stand there in the shadows; are hearts lost to the darkness as they would always be... or at least that's what I thought.

I thought I knew about the tricks of the world and the secrets behind phenomenon of its tricks. I thought I'd lived the main events of my life already; I thought they were tainted and torn. Little did I know they'd only begin sometime that night; and they'd be nothing I ever expected. Nothing I ever could have. She was something that could never have been predicted...