Well, this is interesting. Here, I sit in my bedroom, not unharmed but at least no broken bones, though I did suffer some unimaginable and mentally scarring things with said symboite that I rather not think about/revist.
Oh? Your here..it hasn't been that long seen you've last since me. Elektra and her new best friend, the Venom symboite followed me home and ambushed me on orders from Johnson. All for a damn necklace...
-CREAK-
Ahh, crap..MJ's home. I hear her walking in,greeting Jarvis (Avenger's butler) and entering the elevator..the secret elevator to our apartment.
Naturally, as my luck would have it, she would see the messed up living room and bedroom caused by my and Elektra's "friendly" talk.
"I'm home." MJ says.
I roll my eyes, dreading what comes next.
Maybe you should hide...
Shut up
Oh, did I forget to mention the damn symboite ACTUALLY bonded with yours truly? "
You know it w--PETER!!!!!" ...She must have seen the living room. Stomping up stairs, I knew how much I wished hell froze over. "Peter...don't tell me.."
Oh no, she's semi-angry.
I rise from my seated postion and hug her. "Who was it this time?" She asked.
And yes, she amazing espically when she's angry.
I try not to look in her eyes, because if I do, she use her magical guilty powers on me.
"Uh, I was just joshing around with Logan. You know how we supertights get antsy." I joked.
She sighed "Fair enough. Are you going to track them?" She moves toward the dresser. "No, Like I said Logan's got it covered." Man, you'd think by now I could hide my "concerned" tone of voice.
"How was your day?"
"Not bad." She started to change.
That I'm NOT describing to you, she's MY lucky (or unlucky) wife.
"I had a few problems during my photoshoot today." "Really?" "Yes, you know Mary Walker..." Oh crap..Typhoid Mary.."Did she h-?!" "No, she didn't hurt anyone. She threw a tanturm about not having the 'right' set of clothes for her shoot. And procceded to make everyone's day a living nightmare." MJ said.
Speaking of nightmares..
"No!" She jumps starled "No?"
THINK OF SOMETHING PARKER! "I mean 'No!' I wanted to plan a special dinner for you later but I couldn't fix or buy dinner for you. Sorry, about skipping lunch earlier."\
...No response..Oh shit...Um, um...um..
"It's ok, Tiger. I heard about Ottatvius and Brock."
Phew! "I'll cook tonight." She said. I make my way toward the shower. "I may go out on patrol, later tonight." I say as I climb into the tub, including the soap and rag.
"Don't forget to wash behing your ears and your bal-"
"I KNOW!"
You wash your balls? That must be...tiresome...
My eyes go wild...Elektra's still in the apartment!
"If you hurt her." I turn on the water to drown out the co-
"YEEOOOWWWSSSH!"
Forgot to set the water.
"Honey! You alright?" I hear MJ from the bedroom
"Yeah! Just forgot to set the water!."
You must be so forgetful, not telling Mary Jane she has an extended family..
I find, though telepathy from the suit, I could communicate with Elektra.
Shut up! If you go near her..
You'll what, tell her you re-bonded with us, that Elektra...
SHUT UP! Where is Strange?!
Not here, not ready. Just relax, Pete. If anything goes wrong...well...
I feel the tendrils creeping up from their hiding place..on my person...
Well, you'll have to tell her sooner or later, maybe never..wonder how that would drive you mad...
I sighed, women..they will ALWAYS get the jump on me. I sensed Elektra popping from the tiles...
Wait, when could the symboite do that? I knoew it could become invisble but, merge with..Yes, it's a new trick. Elektra said It's very handy for...jobs...then agian it handy for this,too. Now, your thinking "I know the situation is bad but Elektra is HOTT! Damn you, Parker!" Yeah, see that what I would be thinking as well, if you were Deadpool.."
"What the-? Don't talk about me!"
GAH! Who said that?
"Me, you jackass! How dare you cause me to break the fourth wall...in a fanfic!"
"Who the-?" I turn my head toward the side wall and there he is...Deadpool...Wade Wilson...cutting a hole... in my bathroom wall.
"How'd you get in here?"
"Well, pasty-face, I'm not even supposed to be here! But as idiocty strikes, I'm there to laugh! So, you caused me to do this..to your wall!" Wilson said "Just for that, I'm going to annoy you, like I annoy Cable! Besides this fic was getting interesting. I felt bored. Do you know what it's like waiting 30 days between now and my book? I get kinky, plus Elektra is here and, that would make you one lucky son of a-"
NO! He is ours!
"Yeah, Wilson you can have him a-." Elektra started to say, who's drapped over me, mind you.
"Fricken No! It's going to be--"
He's looking AT me...Oh...my...God
"Stop that!" I scream.
"So that why they call you 'Spider-Man' Ha! That's impressive..." Deadpool blabs."Ladies and Gents, this fic just got more interesting..and crazier! Even by my standards!"