Hello True Belivers! Why in the blue hell am I talking like Stan? Anyway, welcome to the fic, I your host Deadpool will be guiding on my journey to said fic. Ya' see it all started way back when I was anonymously contacted for a job to retrieve a necklace. The pay was more thawn enough to entice me...hehe..entice. Oh, where was--Oh yeah. The pay was more than enough for me. So, I'm in the big apple trying to question people of its wearabouts. And having no such luck. People yell all sorts of colorful things to me...man this town is great...
"Let see...west of Mahattan...nope..."
Hmm..I knew this was going to be difficult but...
-THWIP!- THWIP!-
Ooohh..It's Spidey!
"HEEYY!!!" ...--
He's mumbling to himself, wearing a strange costume and, swinging to..somewhere. Maybe I can give my Ravencroft Asylum card, they've been looking for new patients! So how do I fin?-
-LIGHTBLUB-
-TWEET-
"Taxi!"
I hate these NY Taxis..yellow..makes me think of food, considering I haven't eaten since I've gotten here.
"Can you follow Spider-Butt?" I ask the cabbie.
"Sure, just pay me the right fare." He says. "Then awaay we go!"
God..this thing is annoying me.
Stop fighting, we're only thinking about your best interest, Peter..
"Sure, you want the necklace to become corporal, Elektra wants to give it to Johnson. Where is MY best interest?"
With us... There's no need to get rid of us, we can make your and MJ's life easier...
"By using her as a host? No."
Peter, we can all be happy. Me, you, MJ, Elektra...Speaking of Elektra.
"Your staying with her?"
Yes, we've come to an agreement.
Oh, HELL NO! Elektra is bad enough under normal circumtances but, with you stuck to her, HELL would open.
"Besides, Matt would kill me...And, here we are..."
The Baxter Building, home to the Fantastic Four.
You won't get rid of me...when this is over, you won't WANT to get rid of me..
"Says you.." I land one of the windows, taking a peek inside. Empty. Getting in this place wouldn't be easy, so..I put out my cell phone.
Wait..you thought I would sneak in, damage equipment, get into a superhero slugfest and leave without answers? Who do you think I am?..Hmm, I just got a tingly feeling.
"My Deadpool senses are tingling..great scott, I think he's stopped!"
"Uh..what?" The cabbie says.
"Okay let me off. So how much?"
"$25 Hey we're at the Fantastic 4's buliding? You want an autograph?" The cabbie continues.
"Uh, yeah something like that." I hop out the car, leaving the cabbie a tip.
"What's this?!" He yells.
He must love my tip.
"It's Canadian money! Keep it!"
So, Spidey's at the FF's not-so humble home. Must be collecting bugspray the way Superman collects kyrptonite..
I've been here before, the FF's lab still has that mint fresh smell. Creepy.
"Well, Spider-Man, as far as I can tell, this is nothing new." Reed Richards, leader of the Fantastic Four, big brain and all, said.
Being in a tube is never easy, espically when your naked..The symboite was in a vile, concidering the work that was done to get it off in the place was painfull.
"It communicates with me, telephtically. It wants to be corperal." Richards is one of the most smartest men in the planet.
"If I had ta' be a pile of goo, i'd wan' that necklace too." Bem Grimm, the ever-lovin' blue eyed Thing. Always the sane one, well not if you count Sue Storm, of course.
"But using the necklace is out of bounds." Richards said "The symboite is a parasite, it needs a host, it can't be stable on it's own."
"Well, that's what it's been telling me.."
Not to mention the power it has...
"Even if it could become whole, where would it go?" Ben says
"Hell if I know." I say
"Well, thank you for coming to me Spider-Man, If I had time, I'd do research on this manner and this interesting theory.." Richards said.
"Thanks for getting it off me." I said.
"Uh, stretch, can Spidey put on clothes now?" Ben said.
Opps, forgot about that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving slightly in the shadows...then it hit me..
"Elektra!"
'It' moved toward Ben.
"Eh?! What The-?"
"Ben! Don't worry I.."
-CRACK!-
That was the sound of Mr Fanstatic's jaw meeting Elektra's foot. She's jumping like a jack rabbit, keeping The Thing off-balance, while he smashes thhe equipment..and..test tubes!
"BEN STOP!" I screamed through the glass..like he can hear me.
"What? Can' ya see I'm trying ta bring down the lady!" He says.
"Where is the necklace?!" Elektra yells at him.
"We don't know nothin' 'bout no necklace!"
They're fighting in a small, cramped part of the room, full of...bio-chemicals...This is the point where I'm banging on the glass but, can't crack it...I need a mircale...
"Ohh, is this the bathroom, 'cause I REALLY need to open the floodgates and...oooh! A fight, plus sum naked dude in a tube!"
Wh- Oh no...Deadpool...-sighs- I look up and say to the big man upstairs
"You must be swamped and this is short notice..."
"Well, I heard necklace so I don't need to put two and two together...IT'S PAYDAY!" Deadpool says as he jumps into the fray.
My life somehow, just got a million times worse..