Disclaim: I do not own Sands. I do own Lizz and Julio, be so nice to give them back.

Sorry, not betaed yet, it will be but I wanted to post something desperately.

Chapter 3) Girl issues

She sat in a chair facing Sands' door. He hadn't come out yet and there where no sounds that he was awake… ore that he was alive. With her arms crossed she stared at his door, while a battle set placed in her mind. If she would go in, horrible things could happen. He could be death, shot himself. She wouldn't even had heard it because he had a silencer. Second, if he wasn't death he surely would be pissed. He didn't like it when she got in his room. Ore he could be death drunk ore extremely sick by the mix of his pills and the alcohol he drank. She remember last time he did something that stupid. She'd left him to go to the hospital, it was back when El was still around, when life was a lot easer to deal with. Running and hiding, running and shooting, running and make sure you didn't get killed. Back them there was no time to think. No time to get worried. Just staying alive and stay out of the hands of a madman.

Now life was screwed up, because she had time to think everything throw and he had nothing to do. He couldn't read books, yelled at her when she suggested he learn Braille. He didn't want to get outside and snapped at her every time she suggested something. All he did was watch TV and get on her nerves. It wasn't health for a person to stay inside so long and with inside she not only mend inside the house. There where still so many other thinks Sands dealt with. His past, his blindness and his future. It was just to much for one man. Ore a girl.

She sighted. 'Kay if he doesn't come out I have to get in.' Still she remand silence on the chair. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. 'C'mon Lizz you had it coming, get you're ass up and walk in!'

She pushed herself up and walked to his door and stared at it. 'It's a door Lizz. Not a monster, just plain wood, screws and a nop.' Slowly she razed her hand and knocked.

No answer, what she had expect. She knocked again with the same result. 'Damn I really have to get in.' Slowly she pushed open the door and stepped in.

Inside it was dark, no wonder Sands didn't need to see and because of his old CIA habits he darkened his room. 'To be a step ahead the enemy.'

And right now she was the biggest enemy around. Again hell wasn't that far away.

"Sands?" She switched the lights on. To her surprise and relieve he laid on his bed with his arms behind his head.

"Sands?" She said again.

He turned his head towards her. "What?" he spook a bit annoyed but without any trail of stress ore sickness.

The fear she felt before faded and got replaced by anger. "Why didn't you answer me? I was worrying sick about you!"

"Then cut that out, kid." He sat up and looked at her angry. "I'm fin and not the kind of person you should worry about." He stood up, walked along her and pushed her aside. She let him walk away, after living with him for about six month she knew better then to draw attention to his problems.

She heard him sat down in the living room, walked beside his bed and picked up the empty bottle. 'Just like mom.' She turned around and smashed the bottle in the trashcan. Her eyes focused on the broken glass. Memories from years ago. Every day the same damn thing, empty bottles and a dead drunk mom hanging in front of the TV. And she made a habit out of it to yell at her about her terrible life. 'Lizzy you have no idea how it is to be a single mom, how it is to raze a kid all alone, how it feels to be so empty.' Her mom always love to complain about her problems, while she had to keep the house clean, make sure they bills got paid and there was some food on the table.

'I hate her.' She told herself again. 'Mom never paid much attention to me, did mother-daughter things with me ore listened to me.' Still… you only get one mom in you're life and at some moment she missed a female around her. Sands was nice, insane and cool. Like the psychopathic uncle she never had. But not a mom. And right now, with Julio and all the other things happening, she wanted a mom.

"I'm going to the market, Sands." She grabbed her purse and her hat. "Need something?"

By the look on his face it was clear he wasn't going to answer. She stuck out her tongue. 'Finn keep up the act, I'm outy.'

She closed the door behind her and let out a breath. She always did that after closing the door. She left behind a world of doubt, craziness. A rollercoaster that never ended. A very soft tiny voice sometimes remembered her she could leave. Leave it all behind, drive away and get a family, get happy. Be free.

'But I can't do that, I can't leave him. Not after everything.' She hated that voice, because Sands was the only family she had.

Sunken into her thoughts she walked over the street ahead of the market. It was still early so except a few tourist and salesman there was nobody around. She liked to go shopping in the morning. It was safer and there where no annoying kids around. It was safe, she could watch all the people around her, see there faces and no-one could hide in the crowd.

She sadly smiled. Living with Sands made you turn out into a paranoid. He claimed there was always someone that wanted you death, always something chasing you. She didn't believe it all, they lived in a peaceful villages now. And who could be after him? In theory he didn't even exist anymore. Everyone thought he was death, kidnapped ore locked up in a mental institution.

While she bought some fruit and vegetables she watched a group of little kids play hide and seek. Her eye's followed the little girl scampered away, holding a half eaten piece of melon. She sat back against a wall and pushed a piece of cardboard in front of her.

Lizz grinned by the view. Suddenly her eyes narrowed, a figure jumped back behind the wall where the little girl sat. Her eyes narrowed, picked up her bag and walked further.

'Is it just because I hang out to much with Sands ore is there someone following me?' Her step speeded up a bit. A drip of sweet run down her cheek, it felt like eyes where chasing her. 'Damn, let this not be true. I don't want to run away again. Not again, not again, not again.' She turned her head, but couldn't make up her shadowed. Her fingers dug into the plastic bags. 'Whoever you are, I won't let you screw up my already screwed up life again!'

She walked into a ally, into the shadows. Quickly she jumped behind a car with flat tiers. The plastic bags landed on the floor and quickly she zipped open her purse. 'C'mon where is it?!' A pink fluffy wallet, a pair tampons, few piece of change, peperspray. 'Damn it!' In a flash she looked up, then hold her purse upside down and emptied it.

A loud kunk echoed throw the ally. A small gun landed on the cobble-stones. Her face cleared from stress when she succeeded. She reached towards the gun. 'Found ya.'

"Lizz?!"

And she didn't know how fast she had to hide the gun. Her head flew up. A couple of feet back stood Julio, from the look of his face he hadn't seen her yet.

'Shit! If he sees me with this piece of killing he sooo will ask questions…' Her eyes shot open. 'And he sooo won't want to date me again if he knows this kind of stuff about me.'

"Lizz?" The young man said again. He looked around, then shrugged and turned around.

'No!' "Yeah?" Lizz said a bit to loud and stood up clumsy. Quickly she pushed the gun between her jeans behind her back.

Julio blinked. "Yeah." He looked at the car. "Where you hiding behind that car?"

Lizz felt her cheeks light up like fire. "No, off course not… I was… I, the bag broke!" She pointed down at the fallen things.

"Right." Not very convinced about her poorly excuse he walked towards her.

"Plastic bags are so not what the use to be." She stammered. 'Shut up Lizz! You're mumbling about bags! Shut it before you'll make a even bigger foul out of yourself!' Defeated by her own stupidity she kneeled down and started to pick up her stuff.

"Here let me help you." Julio offered and kneeled down as well.

"NO! No, you don't have to-" She warned him. But it was to late already.

He picked up her fluffy pink wallet and then reached out for a very personally and girly thing. Her tampons. Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Clearly Julio was just as shocked by the fact he was holding pure femininity on a string.

Lizz blinked, wanted to exploded in dying agony, grabbed the tampon and snatched it out of his hand. "Thanks." She slammed the thing back in her purse, hoping it would hurt. "I have to go home and…" 'Kill myself, hang myself, scream my lungs out ore just lock myself up so I will never have another fiasco with guy's ever again.'

Without finishing her sentence she jumped up and started to hurry her way out of the ally. Away from the shadows of shame. 'O, my god he so never wanna see me again…'

A warm hand grabs her shoulders.

"Hey, Lizz?"

She turns around, afraid he will make fun at her, shamefully staring down to his feet's. "Yes?"

"I had a really nice time last night?" In shock she looks up, right into his chocolate eyes that made her droll for days before she dared to talk to him. A bit pathetic, she had to agree. But she wasn't the type that would just run up to a boy and ask him out.

"You did?"

He chuckled, so cute. "Yeah, to bad you had to be back so early."

'And that thanks goes to…' She thought annoyed thinking about Sands. "I know." 'Brilliant feedback, Lizz really…'

"I didn't even got the change to say goodbye." He continued.

Another flush of red appeared up her face. He stepped a bit closer and his hand slowly moved from her thigh to her hip. Her eyes widened. She was hoping for something like this, but so soon…

"You're nothing like the other girls around here, Lizz. There snobs. And you, it's really nice to hang out with you." His other hand moved up to her cheek and brushed away a few loos strings of her blond hair. "You're special, Lizz."

This was a moment she always longed for. A guy, nice good looking guy, very hot looking guy, liking her. Liking-liking her. He stood very close against her, with on hand on her face and the other on her thigh. Like a movie moment. Everything that happens in slow-motion, with romantic music on the background.

He moved closer again and with that his hand moved down her back. That moment she froze. Her movie-moment stopped and it was time for some nasty flashbacks. Her body tensed and later she would tell herself she did it because he almost found her gun. But right now, she wanted to get the hell away, back to her house, back to Sands with his guns and back to her room to crawl under her blanket.

She grabbed his hand and knocked it away, then she stepped behind until there was over a feet space between us.

"I-…" She swallowed and didn't look up. "I gotto go home."

Then she turned away and hurried out of the ally, while she tried to suppress the tears burning in here eyes.

.-.-.

He'd been sitting in his favourite chair. A leather black one. Ore a white ore even pink one for all he would know. But the kid said it was black so he believed her words. Not like he had a choice…

Anyway he was sitting there, for about a hour he guessed. It was hard to tell time if you had no watch, ore eyes.

The sun started to annoy him. Surprisingly, most people would be annoyed of the sharp beams of light tearing into there eyes. But after a crazy doctor, that problem was solved. Now the sun just annoyed him for being there and shin right into his face, making a Mexican day even hotter.

He stood up, counted five steps to the window and closed the curtain. Well pleased he made eight steps to the supply closet. There was one time when he had switched the light on, out of reflex. It took him a month before he wanted to open the doors again. All because he felt weak, not using a piece of cheap wood after one little mistake.

Not that bad, that 'one' other mistake cost you you're-

"Fuck you." He snapped the voice away. 'I'm not listening to you. Fuckyou, fuckyou, fuckyou, and fuck you're mother hard in hell.' He slammed the closet shut and walked into the kitchen. He opened the second closet, grabbed a glass, filled it with water and then felt in his pocket. Out of the orange jar he took one pill opened his mouth and swallowed it with much water.

'Flushed you straight to Broadway, fuckwit.' He grinned dark, opened the fridge and took out a beer. A bit low for his standards, but he emptied the tequila a few hours ago. He'd had to ask the kid to buy him some tomorrow. She wouldn't like it, but he didn't really cared much. She'd already made him smoke less, the leased she could do was get him some descent alcohol.

He sat back into his leather chair, succeeding his mission. He was bored, there wasn't much he could do and that annoyed him. So he drank, more then he use to do, mostly not to get death drunk, but with the right doses of his medication and the alcohol he could get in some lucid state. In other more understandable words, get high. See stuff, like colours. And he didn't know how long and how good his memory would work, so better see now then be damned when he was to late.

He took a swig of his beer and already stared to feel cold again. It always began with his hands, then his arms and soon his whole body whole be cold. Sometimes he would be shivering, sometime he would feel nauseous and had to stumble to the bathroom. But mostly he just felt cold even when the Mexican sun was high above the sky.

Suddenly someone slammed the door open and he was to late to pull his gun.

"Stupid, stupid key's!" The girly's voice sneered into the living room. The door closed with a loud bang.

"Well hello princess charming." He welcomed her with a sweet voice. "Nice to hear you're pleasant voice with you're kind words again." He was bored, he needed to work on someone's nerves. And Lizz was so easy to torture, like stealing candy from a pissed off teenage girl.

To his misfortune she didn't gave in to his comment and stamped right along him. It pissed him off. She wasn't suppose to ignore him. He sat up and looked at her, meaning turning his head towards her and trying to get more hints about her bearing.

'Let's changes tactics.' "You're late you know that!" He spat, raising his eyebrow giving her a cocky look. "What the hell did you bought that took so long?!"

A gasp for air. He started to grin, he pushed her right buttons.

Then he hear her running into her room, slamming with the door. He sighted, taking another swig. 'Must have her period again.' He shrugged. 'Fucking feminine thing.'

I think we can all agree with Sands,

Leave something nice to read for me please after the beeb,

Nuky