Chapter 4) Sweet first/last kiss?

Lizz sat on her bed, with her knees against her chin. She stared at the ground and silently cried. She wanted that for so long, a guy that thought she was special enough to kiss her. Finally after so much of failing she found one. One really special nice sweet and hot guy. Someone she thought was trustworthy, loyal and wouldn't make fun off her.

But her past started to catch up. The guy that was killed, brutally if she would believe Sands haunted her. Why now? Her step-dad was gone, shot, death, history. Why did the horrible sickening feeling came back when Julio touched her. It wasn't like he was aiming on sex ore anything?

'Right?' She sighted. 'This is going to be terrible, I just know. Terrible, horrible, unbelievable hard.' Another tear rolled down her cheek. 'Why?'

There hadn't been a reason to fear Julio, he was just being really nice and really sweet. He hadn't touched her ore forced her. He was nice, nice very nice.

"I hate me." She decided and looked into the mirror. "You're weak you know that! All you had to do was stand still and let it happen." Somehow she'd thought it would make the things from the past go away. " All you had to do was let him kiss you, it was so obvious he was going for that."

'But no, I had to run. Like a chicken, a big fat scared chicken!' She pressed her eyes shut and pinched into her knees. 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I can't do anything right!'

Again her breathing became hiccups and soon she was crying again. 'And now he'll hate me, because he tried to kiss me like two times and every time I reject. He probable think I'm snobby ore just being a mean bitch…'

Meanwhile a room and much self-pity further…

Sands picking up his old habit of chain-smoking. He was kind of worried but his pried would not let a weak feeling like that fuck up his so called psychopathic life. He was not going to feel worried, ore sorry. There was no 'I love you', 'I'm sorry', 'I care', in his dictionary. He was not the loving-peace-for-ever-guy. He was the mean-evil-villain. So off course he was not worried, he just wanted to know when the kid was cooking him dinner. Like she should be.

After a few more moments arguing with himself he stood up. It took him another few moments to walk up and knock on her door. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"GO AWAY!" She screamed.

He frowned, that was a bit to much of a reaction, now was it? "Why aren't you making dinner! I'm starving, kid!"

"Then call for some Chinese, I'm not you're god damn wife!"

"That will be a bit hard, the nearest Chinese's two thousand miles from here!" He recalled. "And quit the slang, if you're desperately trying to be cool make some dinner!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" After that there was a whole lot of other 'slang' Sands did think was appropriate for her.

Luckily he was calm as Ghandi. "Lizz." He said very mild. "You have five seconds TO GET YOU'RE ASS OUT OF YOU'RE ROOM!"

"YOU CAN COUNT TILL HUNDERED! This is my house! I bought it!"

"Not the point!" He growled. "Get you're ass out, ore I will get in!"

Clearly she remembered his last blunt redecorating from her room, last time she wouldn't come out of her room, he kicked in the door and shot throw the window. Off course back than it was a who different situation, back then he still had 'issues'.

The door opened. "Now, what do you want?" She said. He frowned, he didn't trust her voice. She suppressed something in it. There was something wrong. His old CIA-talent kicked in.

"So how was you're day, Lizzy-O?" He smiled.

"Okay…" By her voice he could make out she didn't bought he sudden nice behaviour.

"What did you do?" He continued.

"Went to the market, as I told you before." She said pensive. "Why the sudden outburst of interest."

"Just check'n." he reassured her. "You hear the strangest things now these day's. You never know what to expect outside, ore who."

She went silent and his smile wined. 'Jackpot.' " So who did you met Lizzy-O?"

"I have no idea where you're talking about." She said, waving away his words in a casual way.

"I'm sure I have no idea where I'm talking about, ore about whoever you might have met today." He reassured her. "Still I have the feeling you're not being quite honest with me. 'Caus you're being a little vague about the specific things you've done today. So, you tell me you went to the market, spent about four and a half hour there, came back without any good food, clothes, decoration items ore any other shit you mostly come home with. Now, that's close to impossible Lizz, caus' we both know you can't walk across the market without buying cheap and unneeded items."

"Stop playing psychiatric on me!" She wined. "It's annoying and it doesn't matter how much you talk, ore mind-game me, I'm not going to tell you who I met today."

His smile turned into a cocky smirk. " So, it is a who." He crossed his arms. "Let's see, let's see, who've you met. You're a teenage girl, all giggly, stupid and hormonal. Typical teenager, well, who did you meet, Lizzy-O?"

He did not receive a answer, the door got slammed shut again. He shook his head and laughed. She was so easily to get. And he wasn't even trying yet. Kid was smart, could think fast in hard times, he had to give her that. But plain stupid if it came to lying. One quick game of goodcop v.s badcop and she would crack. Good thing there was no way she would end up in a game like that. He would make sure of that. There was no way he would let her spill all his secrets.

'Now the boy only has to die.' He decided. The boy was trouble, could screw up his life if you could call it living. And everything that stood between him and get drunk had to be eliminated.

"Well, time to eat." He told himself and walked whistling into the kitchen.

.-.-.

It was late, the sun had turned into the moon seven hours ago. Still, Lizz was awake and not planning to go to sleep any moment. She kept turning and tossing. Finally she kicked the blankets away and sat up.

Angry she looked to the door. 'I hate him, mister owh, I'm so smart.' She pouted her lips. 'Like he is that smart, he lost his eye's, not me.' Sulky she stepped up. 'If I'm not going to sleep, I better start doing something, anything.'

She was about the get herself a book for the first time in… years, but got distracted by a soft sound, coming from her window. She picked up a gun and carefully walked towards the window. It was stupid, but she still held her guard as she always looked behind. It where the things that reminded her every day of the things she'd seen and did. At that time, it didn't seem to matter. She'd witnessed dieing man, run away through whole Mexico, learned to shoot, drive a car, tent wounds and stitch them up. She'd gone used to see blood, smell gunpowder and be afraid whole the time. Back then, it was a rollercoaster of happenings and she had no time to recover from the memories. The where put in hold and appeared in her head from time to time. That's why see hated to go to sleep, that's when she found time to think, and think she did. Not just remembering, but also reliving. And Sands didn't make that all easier.

She pushed away the curtains and to her surprise she saw Julio stand outside on a balcony from a floor lower. Frowning she looked around, but couldn't see anyone but him, and he smiled at her. So she opened her window.

"Hey, can I get up?" He asked. Lizz bit her lip, she didn't feel that well and she knew Sands would kill her if he knew a stranger was in there house. On the other side, it was her house and Julio wasn't a stranger, technically.

"Sure." She answered. Julio nodded and started climbing. After a few moments he pulled himself up by the window-seat and sighted.

"That's the last time, I do that." He laughed, then a serious gaze appeared in his eye's. "Why did you leave so sudden?"

Lizz felt herself flush. Damn, she had that question coming. And it wasn't a question she wanted to answer. She shrugged and sat on the edge of her bed.

The both went silent for quite a long time.

"I had the feeling you did not want to kiss me in the ally." Julio said sudden.

Lizz stared at the floor. "No, it's not that, I just-" She paused. "It's complicated."

"Why?" Julio stood up and sat side her. "Ore you want to kiss someone, ore you don't. There is no line in between."

She gave him a odd look. "O, believe me there is." She smiled sadly. " You have no idea."

"Then tell me." He said a bit demanding. "Sorry, but the first moment you're all flirty and the other one you're dropping death cool. "

She stared to fumble with her sleeves. "Let's just say my last couple of 'dates' didn't end so well and that's a understatement."

Julio nodded slowly. "I see." Then he turned around. "But that doesn't mean I'll be like that 'last couple of dates.' "

She shyly smiled. "True."

He turned more towards her. His eye's pierced into hers, she wanted to look away because she knew she was flushing again. But he took hold of her jaw gently and turned it towards him. She looked at him again, this time more interested then frightened. He smiled at her and she could feel the butterfly circle in her belly. His other hand touched her shoulder and for a moment she wanted to pull away. His fingers slid down her arm very slowly until they found hers. There fingertips brushed briefly. She watched as his hand took hers. Slowly he bow forward. She felt her body tremble when his lips touched hers. He kissed her again and she felt the space between them reduce. She smiled, closed her eye's and parted her lips.

'Damn, he's a good kisser.' She thought and her smiled grew.

For about two seconds.

After that the door flew open. She gave Julio a hard push so he fell backwards of her bed. With a hard grunt she heard him land on the floor.

"Lizz?!" Sands muttered in the doorway. He looked a bit sleepy and disorientated.

"Yes?" She answer, so neutral as she could.

"Did you look the door?" He asked her. "Cause I would swear I heard someone."

Her eye's grew. "Uhh, yeah I did."

"You're sure?" Sands asked again and stepped into her room. "Cause I was very sure I heard something. Could also be a rat ore something…"

"Yeah, it must be a rat." She said, getting more nervous every moment because the room between Sands and her bed shrunk by the moment. "I heard there are a lots of rat around here. But I'm sure that nasty mouse as run by now!"

Sands started to laugh. "Naah, I think I found the rat." He grabbed Lizz by her shoulder and pulled her off the bed. "You have three seconds to stand up as a man and then die as one!" He pulled his gun and aimed on the bed.

"Sands! DON'T ACT SO PSYCO!"

"Shut up." He replied. "That's two seconds, amigo."

Julio stood up and stared at the gun. "Y-you don't w-want to be doing that s-señor."

"I don't?" Sands asked him. "And what makes you so sure of that?" He stepped forwards. "You come in here, in the middle of the night, just to do WHAT?!" With every words he did a step forwards, until he stood face to face with the boy. "Get the hell out before this little bitch has to clean up the blood stains and you're mommy is getting worried where you're little baby angels stays."

Julio gulped, looked at Lizz who was gesturing to the window and made a run. Lizz pulled herself loose and spur to the window.

"I'M SORRY!" She screamed, but the boy was already gone. And she couldn't blame him.

Aww the first time I wrote down a 'sweetkiss' and Sands has to fuck it all up. You nasty little man. (pouts).

Please leave something sweet,

X Nuky