You know what I realized 20 seconds after I woke up? I hate the Dai Li with a burning passion.

My head was throbbing when I finally felt safe enough to open my eyes after the guards dragged me away. My sight was a bit blurry, but I could see that I was in some kind of dark cell. I was facing the bars of it, anyway. With an irritated sigh, I sat up, holding my aching head. "This is not a good day for my cranium," I muttered, repeatedly blinking to try and get rid of the blurriness.

In about five minutes I was pretty much out of my temporary amnesia. I was in a cell, a stone one, with steel bars and a cold floor with a bowl sitting near me. Leaning over, I saw that it was filled to the brim with some kind of brownish stuff that looked like applesauce. Applesauce with chunks of meat. Yech. I moved as far away from it as possible, although I was hungry and it didn't smell too bad. Maybe I'd taste it later, if I got desperate.

Ok, time to regroup. I frantically started sorting out my mental filing cabinet, trying to remember what had happened between now and the time I'd been forced into Avatar Land. Then I remembered the most important thing - getting Syd home. Was she all right? I got to my feet and walked slowly over to the bars, examining the metal. This stuff was better than the ones in any prison in the real world. In other words, escape was impossible. How was I going to get out of this one?

The mushy stuff was giving off a stench so repellent I thought my nose would bleed. Annoyed, I did what I usually do when I'm alone - I talk to inanimate objects. "Might as well stop trying to make me hungry," I grumbled, "because I'm not eating you anytime soon. I want to live a bit longer."

It sat there.

"Well? What have you got to say for yourself? I know, Darrin is a big idiot that talks to things when he's bored."

It sat there.

When I'd had my fill of this nonsense, I sat down a few feet away from the accursed bowl of mush and started doing little school things in my mind to stay awake. "Okay, Angle-Side-Angle..ASA. Leg-Angle...LA." Forget this. Geometry terms were more boring than anything else. "Sun. Mercury. Mars. Jupiter. No wait...Sun. Mercury. Venus. Mars. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus..." I started to giggle. Something about that word made me giggle like anything.

"Uranus..." I whispered, starting to laugh. I heard footsteps coming down the hall, but I couldn't stop. "Uranus!" I was almost howling with laughter now. Two guards stopped in front of my cell, obviously wondering if I had a mental problem or something. "Um...I'm fine!" I stood up, holding my sides."Nothing wrong...nothing at all." They looked at each other, then opened my door, grabbing me by both arms. My laughter stopped mid-giggle.

They half dragged me to a large room, one made completely of stone, with a big stone table in the middle. At the head of this table was a chair, and hanging above the chair was a lightbulb. At least, it looked like one. The men plopped me into the chair, strapping my arms to it. "What's going on here?" I demanded. They just scowled at me and stood on either side of the chair. Great. What now, a trial?

You know the part in those kidnapping movies where they tie the person to a chair and then refuse to tell the person what's going to happen? Well, guess what? I wasn't havin' it. No way, Jose - I wanted my answers and I wanted them now. "Look, I'm not your average prisoner, ok? What do you want?" The guard closest to me leaned over and said, "Shut up. He'll be here shortly."

"Who?"

"Long Feng."

"Who the heck's Long Feng?"

"You will find out."

"Oh, didn't I see that one coming."

Don't you just hate those, 'it's better you wait and see' things that people say? Ugh. Anyway, we sat there for about five minutes, humming and counting wall rocks. Well, at least I was. Those guards probably had to go to the bathroom by now...standing there for so long. Eventually, though, there was this small rumbling noise across the room on the other wall. A doorway opened up in the aforementioned wall - Feng was apparently an earthbender. This was just...perfect.

A tall dude with long black hair and a gold and black jacketlike tunic stepped into the room, a passive expression on his face. His eyes narrowed when he saw me. "This is the one?" he asked the guards. They nodded, stepping back. Feng looked me over critically, like an animal sizing up its opponent. "Tell me your name," he commanded sternly. I rolled my eyes. "Darrin."

"Darrin." He wasn't an intimidating person, at least to me, but he sounded dangerous. "And where do you come from, Darrin? I know you're not from around here." I arched a brow. What was I supposed to tell him? Oh, I'm a fifteen-year-old high school kid from the year 2007, and I got here by accident because I touched a computer. Second question: "Duh, what's a computer?" Do you see my problem?

So I decided to lie, which Syd was better at than I was, but it couldn't hurt to try. "A village," I replied smoothly. "In the woods. I came here with my dad to get supplies and stuff." Feng considered me for a moment. "And...where is your father, might I ask?" That was a tough question. "Um...I don't know. We got separated a few hours ago." Being a liar was pretty easy in this place. But Feng apparently wasn't done yet, as he smirked and looked up.

The light fixture started swinging like an ominous pendulum, obviously controlled by the rock thingy it was attached to. I didn't mean for my eyes to start following it, but I couldn't help it. Still, I had some control over myself, because I managed to tear my eyes away long enough to glare at Feng. "What's this all about?" I snarled. "You're going to have to get used to our ways, Darrin," he said, stumbling a little over my unfamiliar name. "Even if we have to...manipulate your mind a little."

I wasn't going to be hypnotized! "Are you crazy?" I struggled, but the stupid straps were too tough. Even if I could earthbend Feng into the wall across the room (what a sight that'd be) I'd still be stuck here.

Bad karma. What would we do without it?

Ok guys, I'm allowed to have the bold-print letters now. As you can see, my flawless plan to get out of Ba Sing Se didn't exactly work. Neither was it a plan at all. Huh. Anyway, stick around to see what happens to me. I'm already pretty embarassed...yeah, as you guessed, Syd found these ducky boxers in my sock drawer (what was she doing in there in the first place?) and showed them to Jon.

Plus, Jon also made me put the Uranus joke in there if I didn't want my beloved duckies posted on Youtube. I doubted he would do that, but still...blackmail!

Enjoy the chapter, Darrin out.

Cut.

...cut.

CUT! Turn off the camera already!!!

Oh...it's broken now. Great, so now you'll have to listen to us try to fix this camera. Alright, try not to get bored, folks.

work begins on the camera