Doctor Rik and his two companions were met with the sight of a large room populated solely by geeks, rabid fangirls and various aliens that Martha had encountered and some that she hadn't in her various travels. It was a terrifying sight for anyone to have to walk in on and Rik expressed his fear by clutching onto Martha as tightly as he could, soon joined by Ade. They bumped awkwardly into a Cyberman who took off his head to reveal the pimply face of an adolescent that hissed "Keep it down, the Daleks are about to address the convention."

"Who are the Daleks?" Rik wondered aloud, annoyed that they were getting more mention than him. Martha stared at him in sheer, disbelieving horror that he could have forgotten his arch-nemesis; surely regenerating couldn't have addled the Doctor's brain this much. Not for the first time she glared suspiciously at the third party, wondering if this 'Ade' was part of a Dalek plot to rid the Time Lord of his acumen.

She was just about to take matters into her own hands, like she had proved she could do so successfully before on previous exploits, and destroy whatever hold this mystery man had on her beloved time traveller when the room broke into heartfelt applause. The trio turned their attention along with the rest of the room to the row of tables that resided at one end, where two very familiar figures were taking their seats.

"Thank you everyone for coming to this Doctor Who convention," spoke up the familiarly warm but unfamiliarly Scottish accented voice of…

"Doctor?" Martha whispered to herself, looking in confusion at the two men she had arrived with, both currently engaged in downing as many complementary drinks as was humanly possible in one go.

"I'm afraid Freema was unable to join me today, but I do have with me a real life Dalek!"

"Exterminate!" the Dalek opined to rapturous laughter and clapping.

"So… does anyone have any questions?" The real Doctor, not dead or regenerated at all, lifted his head and looked around his assembled fans with a good-natured smile. This expression fled his face when he saw Martha standing towards the back of the room, her dark eyes shocked and filled with tears.

Rik, who had been busy wiping a stealthy bogey on his friend's bald spot, froze at the sound of a dramatic silence. Assuming of course that it was meant for him, he swept his impressive locks back from his face and prepared to meet his public.

"Who are you? And why are you wearing my coat?!" The Doctor exclaimed, his focus drawn from the unexpected sight of Martha for the moment. Unfortunately, all Rik was aware of was her inescapable look of accusation.

"I'm the Doctor?" he volunteered. The crowd gasped. A shock revelation about who the next Doctor would be played by!

"No you're not, I am!"

Another gasp.

"Exterminate!"

"You lied to me!"

"Listen, Martha, dearest…"

"Exterminate!"

"Who are you?"

"Pink elephants!" Ade screamed at the top of his voice, not wanting to be left out of all the noise.

The Doctor vaulted stylishly over the table he had been sat behind and pushed masterfully through the excited crowd until he had reached the sorry group at the back of the room. His coat was meekly put into his outstretched hand and he swung it on with practised flair.

"I'm Rik, it's nice to meet you," Rik smiled, his gaze fixed enviously on the sweeping brown coat that until so recently had been in his possession. Ade added in a curtsey for good measure, remembering that this was the man they had stolen the Turdis from, so it would be best to get on his good side.

"Doctor, I thought you were dead!" Martha threw her arms around the Time Lord's neck and kissed his cheek in relief.

"I'm not, but we soon might be," he whispered in her ear, all traces of his Scottish accent gone.

"What do you mean?" The Time Lord impersonator and eavesdropper gasped in alarm.

"This isn't a real sci-fi convention; it's all part of an evil plot formed by the Daleks to destroy the Earth. Beneath those tables there are hundreds of Daleks, well, the ones that weren't killed in the Time War so not exactly hundreds, but you get the idea… they're all under there waiting to jump out at the lead Dalek's signal and unleash their army of evil but fantastic Doctor Who action figures who will kill everyone. I found out about their heinous plan and agreed to change places with the man who plays me in the television programme, David Tennant, because he looks like me but not as handsome, in order to stop them."

As this dramatic speech drew to a close, Ade fixed the camera with a confidential look, his eyebrows rising cynically. "I'm afraid it's all getting rather farfetched isn't it? Not the sort of quality you'd expect at all. It's only going to get worse."

His other half slapped him over the back of the head. "Stop talking to the children! You've already gotten me into enough trouble in this episode. I'm going to need a holiday after this."

The Doctor, who had waited patiently for this exchange to finish, smiled at the two friends. "I'd better get to saving the Earth. Are you with me?"

"What do we have to do?"

"Just stand there looking tense and like you're doing something important whilst I do all the real action." And with that, the courageous Doctor turned and sprinted through the immensely excited crowd despite Martha's cries to come back and not face the danger alone. The room fell into an awed, expectant silence as the Time Lord leapt up onto the table, grabbed the evil Dalek by the plunger and whipped out his sonic screwdriver, pressing it to the Dalek's domed head. A whitish-blue light filled the room along with the metal war machine's cries of anger and "Abandon plans! Emergency temporal shift!"

When the light had faded and everyone's vision had returned to normal apart from a few lingering spot dancing in front of their eyes, the Dalek and presumably his action figure wielding buddies had disappeared completely. The world was saved! Amid the whooping and cheering of the room, Martha ran forwards and tightly embraced the real Doctor, her Doctor, and in the triumph of the moment she received the sweetest, most sought-after kiss of her life. All was well.

…Ade turned his attention balefully to the camera once again and uttered "I told you so."

"Shut up! Just shut up! Why do you always ruin everything?"

"It was the poorly written, incoherent plot that ruined everything, Rik."

"You're right. I'm never working here again. Come on, we can nick that Turdis machine whilst everybody's busy celebrating, ride it back to Devon and finish those pints. What do you say?"

"I say that's the best idea you've had all decade, matey-dokey!"

And so, arm in arm, the two pillars of British alternative comedy left the jubilant Doctor Who convention and walked off into a pint-drenched Devonshire sunset.

"We'd better get an award for this…"

Finis.