Disclaimer: I own everything in the chapter but Tavington and Bordon.
2. Curious Sounds From the Mistress' Bedchamber
By the end of the week much of the British Army would be headed upcountry. The dragoons billeted with the Rutledges were struggling to replenish their supply of horses, and to rest the ones they had bought, borrowed, or stolen. Loath to bid them farewell—especially Tavington-- without some special attention, Selina had taken it into her head to give a ball. Miss Gilpin broke the news to Jane early the next morning, before Selina was even up.
"A ball!" groaned Jane. "In three days! How in the world are we to do it?"
"We shall do it, my dear Jane. We have musicians, we have candles, we can set the cooks to work at once and order in what provisions we don't have at hand. I believe it a good idea. But it must be Thursday, for we are told the horses will be thoroughly rested and the Dragoons on their way very soon."
"I imagine a ball will make the British look upon us with even greater favour," Jane agreed grudgingly, "but it's going to be such an dreadful lot of work. And Selina will be no use at all, as you know."
"No, she won't be of any use—she ordered Phyllis make her a new dress days ago and will occupied with that—but as long as she stays out of our way she won't be a hindrance, either. And the ball will introduce you to the large numbers of new young men suddenly provided by Providence for your approval." She smiled thinly at Jane's helpless laughter. "There now, I've got you in better spirits."
"Yes—I must say you have," Jane replied, still laughing. "But I shall be too busy with our preparations to have much time for 'new young men!'"
She immediately told the house slaves about the upcoming event and gave orders for a general cleaning. A few looked horrified at the lack of notice: most looked resigned. Her maid Letty seemed the only one truly pleased. Letty was her old nurse Biddy's daughter, a few months older than Jane. They had grown up together, and Letty was now an accomplished seamstress and hairdresser, a pretty young woman with skin of a fine, pale gold, large, liquid eyes, and a sweet and lilting voice. Jane never included her in her otherwise harsh assessment of beautiful women, since it would not have occurred to her to place Letty in that category. Letty was very dear, and very pleasant to look at, but she was a slave, and so could hardly in Jane's eyes be classed with ladies like Selina.
Letty, hearing about the ball, was very excited for Jane and said at once, "You need a new dress, Miss Jane. You should order the carriage and go to Charlestown right away to Ma'mselle Renaud's. She and her girls can put something nice together for you in a day."
"I don't have time for fittings, Letty. I'm busy!"
Her maid ws not discouraged. "You said you needed some things for the ball from town. Well, then, honey, make your list and go, but let's stop first at Ma'mselle Renaud's and get your dress ordered. Next, we'll leave your list at the shops. Then you can see your Cousin Mary Laurens. You know she'll invite you to take luncheon with her, and by the time she's done eating and talking your dress will be cut out, and you can stop there again for a fitting before we head on home. They can finish the dress, send it out to you the day after tomorrow, and if anything needs fixing, Mama and I can take care of it. Please, honey. I like to see you dressed fine. You can leave Miss Gilpin in charge here."
It was a nicely organized plan, which Letty knew would incline Jane in its favor. Sure enough, Jane was tempted, and went from temptation to conviction. It would help if she could make her special orders in person, and if she were already in town….
"All right, we'll go. And you shall choose color and fabric, so it will be your fault if the dress is horrid!"
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Letty was in her element at Mlle. Renaud's shop. She had seen and liked the woman's work on other Charlestown ladies, and had thought of her because she was not Mrs. Rutledge' preferred modiste. It was a pretty little shop, staffed by a number of free women of color, most of whom were darker than Letty.
It did not take long to choose the gown. Letty had gone to Charlestown with a clear idea of what she wanted for Jane, and had spent the carriage ride refining her concept. What Mlle. Renaud had available came very close to her ideal.
It was a silk moiré of a very unusual pink—not the bright pink of Selina's favorite roses, nor the pale petal pink that Jane favored in flowers. It was an entirely different color, stronger and with a hint of grey in it. Letty wanted it made up as a polonaise to be worn over a contrasting petticoat.
"I'm surprised you don't find it too dull," Jane teased.
Letty was not going to joke about something she took so seriously. "Men like pink on women. They don't know it and don't admit it, but they do. It's going to look just beautiful in candlelight. It's not too pale to make you look washed-out, and it will be really pretty with your pearls and with this." She produced a bag, filled with yards of fabulous Valenciennes lace. The shop-owner and her women all gasped and crowded close to admire the beauty of it.
Jane whispered, astonished, "Where did this come from, Letty?"
"Don't you remember?" Letty was astonished in her turn. "It come off one of your poor Mama's old ball gowns. You told me to take the trim and the lace off all her dresses when your new Mama came, 'cause it was yours, just like her jewels. You just don't think about things like this enough, Miss Jane."
"I remember now." Not wishing to say anymore in front of strangers, she simply told Mlle. Renaud. "Yes, I want the dress trimmed with this." The lace was worth a small fortune. No, a pretty large fortune. It was clever of Letty to salvage something so valuable, and then to have cleaned and stored it so carefully.
"There's twelve yards, two feet, and seven inches there, in some different lengths," Letty warned the women, just to let them know that it would be unwise for them to try to keep any back. Then she smiled. She did not get to shop for Miss Jane very often, and it was such fun.
The petticoat was a problem. Jane already had one she thought would do, but Letty scoffed at the very idea, and selected some fragile white silk for the purpose. The petticoat itself could be made quickly, and the part that would show should be adorned with seed pearls. Ideally, the pearls should be sewn down individually, but there would not be time for that. Instead, strings of the tiny jewels would be anchored with enough stitches to make the stopgap unnoticeable to anyone but a practiced seamstress, examining it more closely than anyone could at a ball. In the time allowed, the seed pearls could be angled in a simple crisscross pattern. More strings would edge the sleeves of the polonaise just where the lace elbow ruffles began, around the décolletage, and all around the front of the skirt, where it opened on the petticoat. The pearls were too small to look excessive, but would give a subtle richness to the whole dress.
Jane's measurements were taken, and Letty found new trifles to add to the total purchase: a pair of ornaments to freshen Jane's white satin dancing shoes, for there was no time at all to replace those; some new white silk stockings clocked with pale pink. She paused, admiring a peacock fan, but forced herself away with a sigh, knowing that a peacock feather fan, however beautiful, would not go with Miss Jane's pink dress. She barely allowed herself the fancy she had for a moment, of herself holding such a fan, and wearing a gown of that particular peacock blue…
Jane saw her looking. "How about the one painted with flowers over there?"
Letty agreed reluctantly. She did not think the colors were an exact enough complement for the gown, but it would do, and she could see that Miss Jane's patience with dress shopping was at an end. There was no time for the perfect fan of her imagination to be created. The gown itself would have to satisfy her eye for beauty.
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They were back by the late afternoon. Papa was rapidly regaining his strength, and had been helped down to his study. Neither his illness nor his daughter's care of him had softened his temper. Jane stopped by to endure his usual unreasonable demands and criticisms.
"And what were you doing, leaving the house when your mother has so much to do to prepare for this ball? She has her heart set on it being a success. It will be useful politically for me as well. You only think of yourself, Jane. It's your worst failing." He looked grey and miserable, so Jane did not give him the retort on the tip of her tongue.
Instead, she kept her face serene and assured her father of her cooperation. "There were certain things we needed for the ball in Charlestown. I was afraid to leave the order to the servants, and I thought it wiser to see to it myself."
"And you went off with just your maid. I don't like that, Jane. With all the trouble nowadays, you should always have Miss Gilpin with you."
He was her father, so she did not ask him how Miss Gilpin would go about defending her from armed men. "I understand, sir. I shall always be very careful."
"And see that there's enough wine at dinner. I don't want to appear stingy before our guests."
He was her father, so she did not tell him that wine seemed to aggravate his gout. She merely nodded, and left when he waved her away. She would check on the dinner, and make certain he was going to be pleased with it. When Papa was dissatisfied with his food, she was always the first to suffer.
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After dinner, Selina presented her with the guest list, and Jane and Miss Gilpin wrote out all the invitations there in the parlor, while they waited for the gentlemen to rejoin them. Her father, feeling unwell again, retired to bed as soon as he and the officers had drunk their fill. Jane was glad of an occupation, as she listened with half an ear to Selina's outrageous flirting. It was infuriating. Colonel Tavington might be the nephew of an earl, but for all his grand relations, his manners were not grand. In Jane's opinion they were not even good. To take such advantage of her father's hospitality! She frowned deeply, and her anger made her writing careless. After blotting the third attempt at Colonel Webster's invitation, she crumpled the paper and cast it aside so angrily that Captain Bordon looked her way.
Hating the idea that someone had seen her lose control, even for a moment, she gritted her teeth and made herself write more carefully. The captain came over, smiling in his amiable way, and praised the beauty of her handwriting.
"And elegant script, Miss Rutledge." He included Miss Gilpin in his praise. "I assume it is due to the excellence of your tutelage, ma'am."
That lady accorded him a thin-lipped smile and a little nod, busy herself. Bordon took one of the invitations and displayed it to his fellow officers, pointedly including Tavington. "Quite admirable, wouldn't you say? Music and handwriting, and French as well. You are an accomplished young lady, Miss Rutledge. What say you, Colonel?" He gave Tavington an unctuous look.
Tavington knew he had been a bit too obvious in his attentions to Mrs. Rutledge. He gave the letter a cursory glance. "Very handsome." The other officers added a few conventional words of praise.
Jane felt it was all very condescending. "Surely you mean only that I am accomplished enough for Charlestown."
Bordon raised his brows in innocent surprise. "No, indeed. There is nothing provincial about such talents. You are an accomplished young lady by any standard. I am certain your dancing will be of equally high quality."
Selina felt enough had been said in Jane's praise, especially as Jane was being so churlish about accepting a perfectly good compliment.
"There's nothing like dancing to help people get to know each other. Don't you agree, Colonel?"
Tavington gave her a naughty smile. "Oh, I don't know. There are other ways."
Bordon rolled his eyes. Lieutenant Fenton, not understanding his Colonel's meaning, enthusiastically agreed with him. "Not that I wish to contradict a lady—but a good game of cards is also very revealing. You learn a lot at a card table."
This silly remark was agreed to eagerly by his friends, and within a few minutes a round game was decided on. Jane preferred it as a background to her writing since it was harder for Selina to flirt in whispers when all the officers were seated together, watching each other like hawks. Miss Gilpin met her eyes, and they understood each other perfectly. They worked on steadily, listening to the excited chatter at the table, until their stacks were completed, and sealed, and entrusted to the slaves who would deliver them.
The two of them then settled down on the sofa, covering yawns. At a pause in the game, they politely said nothing, but made a great show of weariness. The ever-alert Bordon, noticing this, apologized for the late hour, and to Selina's annoyance (for she was winning), the game broke up at the end of the next round.
"Such a long day—So many things to see to tomorrow--So delightful, but so tired---Don't let our departure disturb your game." Jane and Miss Gilpin prepared to take their leave, knowing that Selina could not stay there alone with a group of men.
And thus, Selina rose gracefully with a smile for the gentlemen, and cooed her good night to them. Jane bade them good night too, very briskly, and hurried up the broad stairs to escape Selina's recriminations.
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The house had fallen into a regular schedule with the appearance of their British guests. Jane was busy with plans for the ball, with tending her father in the morning, and sitting up with her stepmother after dinner to make certain that excessive flirtation did not occur. Miss Gilpin took a nap in the afternoons. She was not so young as she once was, and the business of the mornings and the late hours at night were very wearing.
Jane's only time to herself was in the afternoons, when she could get away and spend some time with little Ash, her half-brother. He was, Jane felt, the only good thing to have come out of her father's marriage to Selina. She had been bitter enough on the day of his birth, when her father, after a day of waiting, stammered out drunkenly, "I have a son!"—and had henceforth ceased to show her any affection at all. Miss Gilpin had prepared her for the financial consequences of the little boy's birth. If she had been left penniless it might have been a different matter. But Jane was well-provided for from her mother's side of the family, and little Ash had gradually won her heart.
He was growing quickly, a strong little boy of eleven months, toddling about, holding onto chairs and his nurses' knees. Biddy reliably lavished him with affection, and his sweet-tempered wet nurse Coral with all the milk his little belly could hold. He was learning to eat rice porridge with his little silver spoon. More porridge ended up outside him than inside, but he was a nice baby, willing to put up with the absurdity of solid food to a certain extent. And he loved Jane.
Jane loved him, too. Perhaps it was odd, that she should feel so much affection for the little interloper who had taken her father's love and property. It was true, though. He was a darling boy, and his parents, while proud of him, did not bother to spend much time with him. Jane found him a never-ending source of fun and interest.
Besides, she liked being in the nursery. It recalled many happy times to her, especially since Biddy still reigned there. In the hazy afternoon on the day of ball she took a few moments to visit, since she knew there would no time later. She ran upstairs and was met by Ash's shriek of ecstasy.
"It's my boy Ash!" she called, laughing, as she picked him up. "How do you do today, most excellent gentleman?"
He grinned back with a gurgle.
Biddy looked up from her rocking chair, where she was mending one of the boy's shirts. "We're having a good time today, Miss Jane. We're in just the best temper, and we had a good dinner." She smiled, looking over at Coral, who was gathering up some of the child's playthings from the floor.
"Well, I hope you've had some dinner yourselves," said Jane. "Coral, you need to keep up your strength. Why don't you run out to the kitchen and have a bite to eat? And bring something back for Biddy when you're done." The young woman curtsied, and left them. Jane knew she enjoyed the odd chance for gossip downstairs. She was a very good nurse, but she was loyal to Selina, and Jane wanted a quiet moment alone with Biddy. Biddy, like Letty, belonged to Jane. She had inherited her from her mother, and she trusted her implicitly.
She sat on the floor by her nurse's chair, and sat Ash down on her lap, facing her. He liked the tickle-fly game, and squealed as Jane buzzed and poked him with a fingertip. When he seemed more in the mood to be quiet, she let him sit back, cushioned by her petticoat, and Jane dropped her head onto Biddy's comfortable knee.
"What's the matter, honey?" A loved brown hand set the sewing aside, and stroked Jane's hair back. The three of them sat quietly for a little while, Jane silent, Ash making endearing little noises, and Biddy humming a favorite old nursery tune.
Jane sighed. "It's nothing, really. Or rather, just the same old thing. Sometimes I think I can't live in the same house with Selina another minute."
"Well, honey, it don't do no good to say you can't when you know you've got to. What's your stepmama done now?"
Ash grabbed her finger and squeezed with a roguish smile. Jane smiled back. "She's such a flirt. Ever since those redcoats came to stay she can't think of anything but Colonel Tavington this and Colonel Tavington that. It's disgraceful. She even flirts with him when Papa's right there in the room."
Biddy paused in her stroking. "Miss Selina was married awful young. She never had time to enjoy parties and balls like a young lady should."
"I hate balls. Selina's ball is completely out of control, and I'm the one doing all the work."
"Letty told me you're going to have the prettiest dress ever."
"Thanks to Letty. She's so clever about clothes. She saved some of Mamma's lace and it's going on the dress. Selina is going to be pea-green with envy when she sees it."
"Don't you worry about your stepmama, honey. You think about yourself, and make up your mind to have a good time. I'll come down tonight when you're dressing so I can see you in that new gown of yours."
Jane laid her head back so Biddy could rub her forehead. That was her one sure cure for headaches. "Miss Gilpin thinks I should be inspecting the soldiers for a husband."
"Miss Gilpin is a smart woman. If you had a husband, you'd have your own home, and you could get away from here."
Jane's heart contracted a moment, remembering. Poor Ralph…
There was no use in moping. She could still make a future for herself. "I'd take you and Letty with me, you know. Wouldn't you miss Little Ash?"
Biddy paused, thinking of the children she had been forced to leave behind when Miss Clarissa's father—Jane's grandfather-- had bought her long ago. Letty knew that she had older brothers, but there was no guessing where they were in the world, or if they were even alive. When Miss Clarissa had brought her to her new home along with all her other possessions, her new master had seen Biddy, and noticed her, and after a time had given her the prettiest little daughter, with softly curling hair and golden skin. Miss Clarissa had never said anything to her, but maybe that was because the poor young lady was so sick those last months. When she died, and someone was needed to nurse the spindly little baby that everyone said would die, Biddy had been there to help with milk enough for both little girls. She had raised Miss Jane, and Letty had grown up with her in the same nursery. She wondered now and then if Miss Jane understood that Letty was her sister, but after all, what difference did it make?
She smoothed Jane's hair, and said, "I sure do love little Ash, and I would be sorry to go, but he has Coral and his mama, and he'll be all right. As long as I have you and Letty, I'll be happy. You find yourself a good man, and get out of this house."
Ash was asleep, his head fallen to one side, and he was drooling a little on her petticoat. Jane gathered him up softly, and took him over to his cot. He frowned in his sleep, looking very wise, and Jane thought him the sweetest baby in the world.
She turned to Biddy, with a saucy smile. "I'll try. I know you're right, and Miss Gilpin is right, and—well—everybody is right. I wish I could meet the right man."
Biddy looked at her keenly. "And just what do you call the right man?"
"Someone wonderful," said Jane, turning around, making her full skirts swirl around her. "Someone who appreciates me. Someone who likes music and French literature, and who will talk with me seriously. Someone who'll take me to far-away places."
"Someone good-looking?"
Jane snorted. "I suppose I must be reasonable. I'm no prize myself, so I can't be too particular about looks."
"Miss Jane, you're a very nice-looking girl—"
Jane rushed over and kissed Biddy's cheek. "Said like a true doting nurse. Nobody else thinks I am. But thank you all the same. It's nice to hear it said, even if I think you may be just a little prejudiced!"
Biddy took her hands, and said seriously, "If you find the right man, he'll think you're pretty too!"
"Maybe the right man will have to be blind!"
Biddy gave her a light swat, and Jane hurried away laughing to check on the progress in the kitchen.
She galloped down the steps quickly, in high good humor, thinking about her new dress. I can't wait for Biddy to see me in it.
At the landing, she turned and looked down the hall at the second floor of the house. It occurred to her to get a fresh apron out of her clothes press, and she turned off that way. The hall was silent and echoing. She walked more softly as she passed Miss Gilpin's room, knowing she was having a rest.
"Aaahh!"A soft cry of pain came from Selina's room. Jane started, and then thought she had better see if her stepmother was all right.
"Aaahh!"It was Selina. Could she be ill? Jane scowled. If Selina took it into her head to be sick, after all her work—
A thumping sound. Jane walked more quickly. Selina's door was slightly open. Jane lifted her hand to knock, and then saw her stepmother.
She was not alone.
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Jane could not at first take in what she was seeing. Selina was lying naked in her bed, and the—man—with her was naked as well. Jane was startled just at the sight of her stepmother, whom she had never seen undressed in all the years they had lived together.
And the man. Jane forgot to breathe. His skin was nearly as pale as Selina's. He was slim and muscular, and his arms and legs were covered with fine dark hair. He was lying on top of Selina, his arms grasping her tight against him. His back arched, and Jane could see his chest, with a sprinkling of dark hair that shaded into a line traveling down toward his navel.
Her knees trembled. She could not turn away her head. The man's chest sported tight dark nipples. She had never thought about men having nipples. They were nothing like those on Selina's soft full breasts, large and rosy. He was bending toward them and took one in his mouth, sucking and pulling at it, worrying at it like a hungry wolf. Selina moaned and thrashed in his arms. Her white legs wrapped around the man's waist and her hands clawed at the powerful back. The man was moving, a deep surging motion that seemed as strong and triumphant as the waves of the ocean. A dark red spear of flesh impaled Selina, pinning her to the bed. Smooth white buttocks flexed, as the man thrust into the woman beneath him with an irresistible rhythm. With every thrust, Selina moaned; that wordless "Aaahh!" that sounded most horribly like the cry of a woman in mortal agony.
The man tossed his head back in rapture, and Jane saw his face, the face of Colonel Tavington. A responsive pang of anger and something for which she had no words flared deep inside Jane's belly. She felt frozen, but the terror of being discovered gave her the strength she needed to move sideways just a little, just the few inches that would put her behind the wall. She opened her mouth, trying to breathe without sound. Air rushed in over a dry throat. She licked her lips and swallowed.
The guilty couple in Selina's bed had noticed nothing. The sounds continued, the man's deep sobbing breaths, Selina's gasping moans, the thump of the bed, an undefined wet sound with every lurch. Jane shuddered like a rabbit in a snare.
Selina was an adulteress. There was no reason to treat her with respect ever again. She would burn in hell for her sin. Jane felt a hard bitter joy, thinking of what Selina would suffer. She would make those same ugly noises as she burned. Again and again and again.
The thumps were faster now. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thudthudthudthud. Tavington was growling like a beast; like a bull on a cow, Jane thought, despising him with an aching rage. Thudthudthudthud. Oh God, cannot the whole house hear them? Is the whole world blind and deaf but me?
Selina mewled like a cat in heat, and wailed, "Ah, Colonel, I shall die!" Jane clapped her hands over her ears, and leaned back against the wall, shaking.
The thudding slowed and stopped abruptly. Tavington gave a long grunt of satisfaction, like an ill-bred man after a hearty meal. Jane's upper lip quivered in scorn, and her thighs pressed together convulsively.
She must get away from these awful people! But how? Softly, she slid her feet from her shoes, and stooped to pick them up. On tiptoe, she shuffled down the hall to the landing, and even more softly, crept down the steps one at time. She reached the foot of the stairs, and collapsed suddenly; in a puddle of tears made of anger, and shame, and contempt, and frustration.
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Next: Chapter 3—Dancing with the Enemy