Oh yeah! Fan Fic is back in business lol :)
It's really working - woohoo!
I'm really glad people liked the last chapter. To be honest, I suck at angst so we really needed some humour...
I'll finish by saying two words. BOOSH MOVIE!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: Belongs to the wonderful Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt.
The quote is from Evanescence's beautiful "My Immortal".
"But you still have, all of me..."
"You're totally mad!" I shriek, giggling nervously for some unknown reason, "that's so mental!"
Also, for some equally random reason I found I was on my feet, standing behind my chair, kind of using it as a shield against him. Like I was defending myself from his crazy accusations (it wasn't really helping I suppose, but points for trying).
He looks at me now, completely cool and composed, as if he were totally used to calling his best friends gay and having said friend brandish a chair at him. Wouldn't put it past him actually...
"Is it really?" He asks in that infuriating way. You know what I mean. The way that seems to say: listen to me, foolish mortal! You know I'm always right - Ballbag!
"Yeah, but you can't be serious! You are joking aren't you?" I laugh, desperation edging into my voice a bit. That's weird for me - innit? I'm really not the desperate type. Now Howard on the other hand...
"Naboo never jokes. Has no sense of humour." Says Bollo solemnly.
"Hey, I do!" Frowns Naboo, "I just happen to be deadly serious about this."
"Though it is funny though. Vince too good for-
"Shut it Bollo!" Hisses Naboo, his frown is now so deep I find I'm wondering how he can even see anymore.
I know what Bollo was gonna say anyway (I'm not that thick), "Vince to good for Howard". Nowwhy would Naboo feel the need to stop him saying that? Oh right, because he thinks I'm in love with him! Yeah right...
I find I'm laughing again at the idea. It's so crazy, what else can I possibly do? I'm Vince Noir. I don't get deep feelings for anyone. Especially not Howard Moon AKA Jazz Spanner.
Why?-I hear you ask. Because he's my friend. Also because I'm straight. Plus he's so not my type at all and...well...
He hurt me.
I mean, really hurt me. Why would I be in love with someone who could do that to me?
I'm so occupied by all this random crap floating around my noggin that I forget I'm still laughing. Dementedly, I'm afraid to say.
"Vince, stop it! You're looking well creepy."
"I think you broke him with the truth Naboo. Vince now a spaz." Agrees Bollo, shaking his head sadly.
Needless to say, I snap out of it.
"Bollo!" I choke out, "You believe him too?"
"Of course. Naboo very wise."
I sigh at this.
"Plus Howard and Vince are meant to be," I felt a little choked up at his sincerity, at least until he adds, "Even though Howard is a jerk-off."
Nice!
"Okay, you guys have gone well weird, I'm starting to think you're being serious." I squeak, voice suddenly high.
"We are." Says Naboo.
"Are you stoned or summit?"
"Yeah! But that's not why I'm saying all this. Howard's obviously going away 'coz he thinks you don't feel the same. But we all know you do." He grins dopily, looking pleased with this analysis.
I'm not so pleased. For some reason it makes me want to cry. I don't know why.
"Thanks a lot Oprah," I say sarcastically, before making a sudden dash for the exit before they can see my expression.
I don't stop jogging until I'm far away from that awful coffee shop (which is quite an achievement with white heeled boots and tight, blue skinnys. Let alone eyes full of tears).
I need to process this information. It's too much for my mind to handle. I'll break it down...
Howard not happy.
Vince not happy either.
Howard leaving.
Vince very sad.
All because...
Howard love Vince.
And...
Vince love Howard???
Ahh! It's insane. I'm giving myself a migraine! It can't be true can it?! He has the dress sense of a blind llama, is totally obsessed with jazz (shudder!) AND is a moody old git.
But he's MY moody old git.
He so kind. He also cares a lot about me, I know. Like when I got all infected by that skanky jazz virus. He still saved me, even though I'd taken a big old bite out of his precious jazz record. I can be such a man-bitch to him sometimes, but he still looks after me. Like how he made sure I had a job to go to after school at the wacky Zooniverse. Crazy times. Groovy days...
Images of Howard suddenly fill up my head. Howard and me crimping. Howard painstakingly setting up stationary village. Howard scatting for all he's worth...
Howard Howard Howard.
My Howard.
Oh god. I can't let him leave. I just can't. I have to see him. Then I'll know. Then I'll know how I feel. Yeah.
"Please don't be gone already Howard." I suddenly beg out loud as I race back towards the flat like my life depends on it.
And in a way, I guess it kind of does.
I've been everywhere...Leroy's, the pub, even the jazz club (hey, it could happen. He may have got smart and figured I wouldn't look there. Or not...). I can't think where else he could have gone.
"Damn it!" I thump my hands on a nearby dumpster (that was outside of Vince's beloved Topshop. Worth a try seeing if he's there I thought, even if it's not open. I swear I once saw him mewing outside the doors after having had consumed a shameful amount of alcohol pops one night...).
My knuckles are bleeding. It hurts, but what does it matter? It's nothing compared to what I feel inside.
The little guy's not that bright. He obviously doesn't want to be found if he can hide this well. Maybe I should give up. Go back to the flat and wait for him.
I already know that's not really an option. If I go back, I know I'll wimp out and pack my bags. Get the hell out of there before he even comes back. The cowards way out.
I'm no coward. I'm Howard Moon! Man of...
Aw screw it. I can't make myself believe that anymore than I can convince myself that Vince will forgive me before I go.
So why bother?
I back away from the bin I'm slumped on and head for home, where I can gather my belongings in peace and get the hell out of there.
"Sorry Vince," I whisper sadly into the night.
"Oy! Flipping idiot! That bird, umm Vince. She's around the corner-I think. She's really funny looking. Funny looking...Just like you and your little eyes, funny looking little running man! Heh-heh!"
I glare up at the simpleton moon, before realising what on Earth he meant.
"Vince?" I gasp, "Vince!" I call out a little louder before darting around the nearest shop corner.
I barely hear the moon grumble before turning his back on us, "You're welcome! Ungrateful, small running, funny eyed man..."
It is Vince. I see him. Stood a little further up the street from me. He sees me too. Oh dear. Oh no. What am I gonna say to him?!
I did hear him call my name and all.
I see Howard, peeking around the corner at me, looking all shy and dorky (as Howard often does).
My heart beat speeds up.
It's as if time's slowed down for us. All earthly sounds fade away, until it's just him and me.
We both slowly step towards each other, unable to break eye contact despite being at such a distance.
Suddenly I feel unbearably nervous (another first for me).
The moonlight casts an eerily beautiful glow across the empty street as we move closer.
What am I gonna say?
I don't know what's gonna happen - what I'm gonna do. All I know is one thing.
Naboo really is right.