okay, i lied. i need reviews! please review people !! ;)

Her Smile

Vibrant, crimson hair glinted in the midday sun, beams of light enshrining the head of the heavy-built shinigami. Renji, fully equipped with sealed reiatsu and cleverly disguised in the common clothing of the human world, hid behind a tree and watched what, to him, seemed like a movie.

It was a normal Saturday morning in the park. The quiet chatter of couples out for a walk and families out on a picnic, buzzed in and out of the trees. Everywhere you looked there would be a garden of dazzling flowers, dainty faces upturned to the gentle caressing rays of sunlight. The crystal clear waters of the central lake reflected a plethora of shades as a volley of brilliantly coloured fish slinked in and out of the swaying reeds.

Overlooking the lake, isolated on the grassy stretch of bank, was a bench. And on that bench sat too people, both whom Renji easily recognized.

One was a rather tall, well-built young man. He wore skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt that emphasised the muscularity of his chest. A shock of spiky orange hair glared defiantly at passers-by who looked on him with disapproval and a pair of amber eyes that matched perfectly with the hair, declared arrogantly that he really didn't give a damn. His companion was a svelte, ebony-haired young woman with soft lavender eyes. She was perched happily on the bench, legs crossed, her petite figure taking up little space on the wooden surface. Clutched tightly in both her dainty hands was an ice cream. Strawberry flavour, Renji noted.

The boy too had an ice-cream and he ate it with slow, drawling licks. After one bite, he would wait before his next, trying to savour the taste for as long as he could. His partner beside him was a complete contrast. Her cute pink tongue darted in and out in an endearing manner, eager to devour the sweetness. In her childlike hurry, she didn't notice as a drop of ice cream trickled down onto her chin. Renji saw the boy's expression soften and watched as he gently cupped the girl's chin in his hand. He continued watching as the boy brought his face towards the girl's and tenderly licked the blob of cream that was smeared across her face. The first signs of a pink tinge were starting to show on her cheeks and Renji tore his eyes away from the picture before him. It was too painful to keep on watching.

Renji had always thought of her as his. His to protect, his to worship, his to love. From the very day she had barged headfirst into his life, he had thought of her as his.

Life in Inzuri had not been easy. The place was filth itself and had an extremely high crime rate. But no amount of danger was enough to faze Renji, Rukia and co., the fearless gang of hooligans that roamed the streets at all hours of day and night. Sure, there were nights they couldn't sleep due to the cold and days they'd go hungry because they weren't able to scavenge enough food but they always made it through, always together and that was all that mattered. Renji had learned early on that sometimes the family you made for yourself was more reliable than anything else.

Everyone adored Rukia. And with good reason too. She could think up the most awesome pranks to play on people, she could kick everyone's ass in a fight (including Renji's) and still, through it all, she retained a calm, gentle aura that put everyone around her at ease. They were all captivated by her.

Everyone, except Renji. On the outside at least. On the inside he burned for her with an emotion he knew none of his companions ever felt. It was something far more than adoration, more even than love. Renji knew, what he felt for Rukia, bordered on madness.

But he held back. Of course he could have declared his undying love for her during her first week with his gang. But he realised, with Rukia, things needed to happen in her own time, or else she would simply ignore them and go plodding on. So he waited, for her to realise him.

Time took its usual course and still Renji waited. In the blink of an eye, ten years had passed and the people who Renji had come to think of as family had long since been smothered in the folds of time. He was alone, with Rukia. One day, she made the decision to become a shinigami. Renji, ever the dutiful dog, followed.

Renji had prided himself on being the last one left with her. While all the others who had claimed to adore her had slowly left, he had remained by her side. Ever vigilant. He believed he had earned the right to her. He swore he would never waver from her side.

But then they entered shinigami academy and things started to change. Due to their high spiritual power, they had easily gained entrance but Renji soon discovered that in nearly all aspects of shinigami training, he was far more talented than Rukia. He found himself slowly climbing up a ladder that led to success, leaving Rukia to look up at him from the bottom. Each rung widened the gap between them.

Then had come the adoption. Unexpected, it cut through the relative peace of their surroundings. Renji had done his best to appear happy for her. And it hurt, god it hurt. Because what the adoption meant was that he, Renji, would have to sacrifice all claims to her. She belonged to the Kuchiki family now, the distance between them was too great.

She had looked into his eyes and quietly thanked him. Then she walked away, leaving Renji to shiver in the cold that was the absence of her warmth. That had been the moment. The moment to cast aside the veil and divulge all. To melt into the deep abyss of her violet eyes and speak the words that he had wanted to speak with a desire that racked his entire body. But…he held back.

Why?

Fear.

Yes, Abari Renji was a coward. Maybe not in front of other captains. And when fighting hollows he was fearless. But this woman…whose head barely reached his shoulders, had the power to make him cower, make him shake. Her disdain, her contempt, even the hardening of her lips in a line of disapproval was enough to shatter him. Destroy him. What did Rukia mean to Renji? To say that she meant the world would be a gross understatement.

From a bystander's position he watched her life. He watched her trying clumsily to fit in with noble society. He watched her fight fruitlessly to win the affections of her cold Niisama. He watched her heart being torn in two after what had happened to the master she had come to love, Shiba Kaien. Renji had wanted to wrap his arms around her and hug away the hurt, kiss her face dry of the tears he knew she shed in her private hours. He tried to reach out to her but…she was too far away.

Then had come the business of the execution. He would still have nightmares of it; her face cut into strips by the metal bars of her cell, wearing a white kimono with that collar tight around her slender neck. Her doe-like eyes had started at him with neither disdain, nor contempt though Renji knew he deserved both. She was like a swan about to be sacrificed by a group of savages. How could they sentence such a beautiful creature to death? And how could he have been so foolish?

For a fool was exactly what he had been/ he had allowed his pride to get the better of him and where had that led him? To a pair of amber eyes. To a shock of flaming orange hair. To a boy, who, even in his infancy, was more of a man that Renji could ever hope to become.

And to this man, Renji had been forced to say the words he had never thought he'd have to say to anyone…

'Please, save Rukia!'

Had he truly lost her to this man? This human? Was this the man who would take the place he had wanted so much? Watching her now, he had seen her give him a smile and he burned at the sight of it. The smile she had given this boy, this Ichigo, was not a smile she had ever given him. This smile had come from a place deep in her heart, a place Renji didn't have access to.

But he couldn't. He just couldn't believe that this was the end. He refused to believe that he had loved her so much and for so long, to be outrun in the last segment of the race by this human.

Perhaps it was just his natural stubbornness. Whatever it was, Renji knew he couldn't just give up. If he was to lose her, he refused to lose her without a fight. Renji thought this, with a desperation that belongs only to a man who enters a fight, knowing he has already lost.

Renji slowly turned away from the park and walked through an open gateway to Soul Society.

;) c'mon click that review button. you know you want to xD