a/n this is not Tohru/Hatori story, sorry if you were hoping for it xP

it's not that i believe everything happens
for a reason.. it's just that I think that some
things are meant to be broken; imperfect; chaotic.
it's the universes way of providingcontrast.
there has to be a few holes in the road..
.it's how life is.

Chapter One: Keep Your Word

We didn't have school the next day either, can't say that I'm not happy. It felt great to take a break, but once the snow lessens, it's back to the books! We were all outside the Shigure's house, just having plain old fun in the snow. It kind of felt like a big party, almost everyone was out here! I took in the scene around me, the light snow fall, the laughing voices, happy smiles, It made me feel good inside seeing people enjoying themselves. Kyo and Yuki, of course, managed to get into a fight about who's snowman was better...considering neither one had arms, noses, mouths, the fight was pointless. Hatushara, better known as Haru, just leaned lazily onto a tree, analyzing the scene, same as me. Hiro, staying awfuly close to Kisa, Ah, young love.

Kisa and Momiji were making snow angels, even Hatori decided to come out and visit, He had said Ayame wanted to come, but since it being too cold and considering their 'conditions' it wouldn't have been the greatest idea. 'I wonder if-' and in mid thought I felt a slight push from behind, a cold, wet, and soggy push. I turned around in time to see Momiji innocently whistling up into the sky and Kisa giggling behind her hand. The games had begun.

"Oh no you don't!" I yelled out giddily, bringing Kyo and Yuki into the battle, and by now, even Haru had formed out little game. It was Kisa, Momiji, Hiro and Haru. Against Me, Kyo, and Yuki. We were now all line up facing the opposing teams.

"Any last words cow for brains?" Kyo taunted. 'definitely not the brightest of the group' I thought with a giggle...but apparently I must've missed something. Because now we aren't dealing with plain ol' Haru. This was Black Haru. Kyo must've hit a nerve there I thought sheepishly.

"Ya damn pansy! What kind of ball is that!" Haru shouted enthusiastically, waving and shaking his arms about animatedly. 'The Sohma's have many...strange habits' I thought to myself, even though I had figured that out a while back.

Kyo looked around wildly to see if anyone else made the connection he probably made in his head.

"You sick bastard! Looking at other guy's balls, you sicken me!" Kyo shouted, I could almost see Yuki shake his head sullenly.

"You damn right know what I mean perverted dumbass!"

"Now now kiddies! There are virgin ears around!" came Shigure's sing-song voice. That's when Kisa walked up to me and gave a light tight on my jacket.

"Sissy?" She asked in her angelic voice, that we almost weren't able to hear a months ago.

"Kisa?" I asked, tilting my head to the side in question. She looked up into my eyes, and I could see the burning curiosity in hers.

"What's an vir-gin and a bas-tard?" I almost tripped over my own feet. Everyone was sent into a deathly quiet silence. I was pretty sure I could hear a soft snicker coming from Hiro in the corner.

"Well..umm, see well...theres a...umm, many young, gah, maybe not that way..." I stumbled over my words.

"Sissy?" She asked again quietly, oh great. 'Nice going Kyo...' Umm...should I even be explaining this to a 12 year old? Oh dear...

"Umm...Shigure? Hatori! A little help?" I asked, slowly sinking to my knees exashperated. With not a clue what to say.

"Oh, You're doing fine Tohru! Explain the birds and the bee's! Use the birds and the bees! G o Tohru! Go Tohru!" he said, cheering me on. 'Gah!' Kyo started this whole mess!

"Gah!" I dug my hands into my hair, hearing laughs from all around, the loud, obnoxious one from Kyo, a light chuckle trying to be concealed by the cough from Yuki, Black Haru's cackle, Momiji's giggle.

Before I could think I dug up snow into a round ball and shot it straight in Kyo's face, the source of this embarrassing conversation.

"Shit!" came the loud voice again, and Haru's wild laughs. I sighed in relieve as the little steam of mine went away with that tiny snowball. 'That question took years off my life.' Suddenly I felt giddy, happy, and I took hands with Momiji and Kisa and we formed a circle, just laughing and twirling around in our circle.

"Ring around the rosey, a pocket full of posies, Ashes, Ashes, they all fall down." and on cue we all fell down to the ground, laughing and giggling to one another. In the background behind our laughing, you could hear Kyo and Haru arguing, Yuki enjoying the peace, and Shigure and Hatori trying to relive the past.

"Tohru! Let's catch snow flakes in our mouth!" Momiji said, looking up into the sky, tongue sticking out. Kisa followed in the suit too. I looked up and toward the sky. The sky seemed a pure white, almost hard to look at. Looking up into that sky, made me remember a lot of things.

Flashback

'The sky's so white!' I thought aloud. Soft snowflakes were falling down from the sky, It was all in all, beautiful. The snow always made me calm, everything looked so peaceful out here, I heard the peals of laughter coming from a group of girls, and to my right kids chaining up their bikes.

It was the middle of the new year in Junior High, that was three years ago, while we were still in Eighth Grade. I'm not sure how we all met up at first, but that was when we all became friends, somehow. We were all different, and yet we complemented each other so perfectly.

"Hey guys!" I ran up to Uo and Hana just outside the gates of the school.

"Hey there yourself." Uo said with a smile, She was still kind of webbed into this all girl gang, but I know she'll get out of it somehow. Uo always found a way to make things right.

"I sense a strange electrical wave, similar to yours Tohru." Hana Jima stated, looking behind me, gazing there. That was when I felt the tap on my shoulder.

"Huh?" Was my intelligent response. I whipped around and sure enough, there he was. Ryou Honda.

"ohmygosh! I heard you were transfered over here!" I said, while giving him the biggest bear hug I could muster. Ryou Honda was my cousin from my father's side. He was one of the few people who knew about my health issues, and he was the one who helped out with me and Mom when Dad died. He was like our support system, I guess you could say he was an older brother to me.

"Oh yeah! Uo, Hana, Meet Ryou! He's my cousin! I've told you about him before, He's always helping me and mom out." I said, introducing them for the first time.

"finally able to meet you."

"Pleasure."

From then on, we were always together. It was always Me, Uo, Hana, and Ryou from then on. We went to movies, picnics, school activities. It was always fun. We always thought we'd always be friends.

Present

Oh how wrong we were. He disappeared right after the accident happened. The car accident, the one with mom. He just up and left. He lived on his own like Uo. He never showed up at the funeral, or school, after a week his apartment was empty. No one saw or heard from him since. Ryou became a sore subject around me, Uo, and Hana Jima. It was almost like betrayal. Uo still thinks that he had something to do with the accident, but...he wouldn't have. Hana Jima, doesn't even act like there was ever a Ryou.

I think they've blocked them out of their minds, it's almost as if the don't remember the laughs and smiles we've all held together back then. It was almost as if they're memories have been pushed to the farthest corner of their mind, never to be touched again. Maybe I was the only one who remembers.

"Tohru?" Kisa gave a light tug on my jacket again.

"Huh?" I said looking down at her.

"You looked...far-away." she said slowly.

"Only for a little bit, but I'm all good now! Pinky swear!" I said, locking my pinky with hers.

"Good." She said smiling up at me.

"Let's all head home now, it's getting cold now." Hatori called out to all of us, he was always he responsible one.

"Awwee! Just a couple more minutes!" Momiji started.

"Shut up ya brat! Jeez." Kyo started shaking Momiji's head. I sighed, as I took up the back of the group while walking back to Shigure's house, It was that far away from the house, but enough to make you tired. My chest felt like it was being compressed, squeezing hard. My breaths came out in short breaths as I steadied myself on a tree. My arms were burning, I couldn't hold them up any longer. I had already fallen back behind the group way behind. But since I took up the back, no one noticed.

I couldn't stand anymore, I sank to my knees and leaned back on the tree. Trying to take deep breaths, trying to make the world stop shaking. Then I saw a face. A little boy's face. It felt like my heart was going to burst in flames of pain. For a little boy, he was able to haul me up to my feet with almost no trouble at all.

"ughh..." I moaned, crouching back down to the cold, wet, snow covered ground.

"What's the matter with you?" said a gruff, yet young voice I immediately recognized as Hiro's. Nothing was said for a few minutes, I knew we were alone.

"...don't...tell anyone.." I said, trying to get the words out properly. After a few minutes, the pain resided, although I was dizzy, but I was able to stand up straight.

"What's wrong with you girl?" He asked again, sounding annoyed and maybe even a little concerned...or maybe that was just my imagination.

"N-nothing, just umm...don't tell anyone...please?" I asked, almost begged. I couldn't stand it if people found out. How would they take it? How would they take it if they knew that I could just keel over sooner or later without knowing when? My guess was that they wouldn't take it well.

"I just got a little over worked and it was really nothing, I"m perfectly fine now, no one needs to know, I mean nothing has to be said to anyone. I'm perfectly healthy, I swear! And Umm, well yeah! Every thing's just fin-"

"Shut up. You talk way to much." He said, turning on his heels, and walking away toward the group, which was already almost out of sight.

"So you won't tell anyone?" I pressed on. He still didn't look at me, then all of the sudden whipped around.

"On one condition."

"Anything...err, well almost anything?" I should expected this. I sighed, shaking my head.

"You have to tell me what's wrong with you, If you call that healthy, then there's no way in hell that I would like to see you sick."

It took me a couple minutes to think it over. What kind of conditions were those? Knowing him, I thought that he'd want money. Well...just a thought. I could trust him right? Who would he tell...everyone, that's who. But if I don't tell him, then he'll go and tell everyone right here and now. I sighed, once again.

"Coronary Artery Disease, I wasn't born with a healthy heart. You could kind of relate the symptoms to asthma. It just means my heart isn't getting enough oxygen and blood. That's it. Not that big of a deal." I tried to brush it off with a smile. But Hiro wasn't stupid.

"You know, People, especially women can die from that. I'm not stupid, It's more serious than you make it out to be. What do you take me for! But I guess since you told me, I'll keep my word...for now." He said crossing his arms. I smiled, he wasn't that bad a kid at all.

"Thanks." I said, relieved,

"You should at least tell Hatori." Was all he said before walking out. Leaving me there standing, contemplating that idea. But knowing I never would. What he said shocked me though, he told me the information I wanted to know, but didn't want to know at the same time. I started thinking stuff, about the future and so on. 'Get a hold of yourself, Your sixteen, and no way are you gonna get beat by some old heart problems!' i thought to myself to keep the morale up, but I think. Somewhere deep down, I knew I was wrong, way wrong.