I'm evil.
-Lexii (Author)

Expecting people to
never change is like
expecting one candle to burn
forever...

Chapter Nine: How it Happened

I sighed for the what must be the millionth time in the day as the paper slipped between my hands. This has been going on for hours it seems. Since my fingers were still bandaged together, making paper cranes beame an arduous task.

It was already Saturday. The rest of the week flew by, but the hardest part was th questions at school. Everyone had already made their own opinion of what had happened, but no one stepped close to the truth, and that, I was glad for. The Sohmas' tried making my everyday life a little easier. Ryou stayed for the whole time, taking up residence in one of the villas at the Main House.

After my little breakdown, no one mentioned anything about my condition, besides the usual call from Hatori telling me to take my pills. The only difference that I took note on were the looks Yuki sent me. The sad looks from the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn't looking. The looks Kyo sent me. Not looks of sadness, but instead it looked like he was still trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong. And that thought alone made me sadden.

I sighed again as I crumpled the paper I had in my hand and reached out to take another one from the pile. It was a slow day here at Shigure's house. Yuki was out at his secret base, I said I'd go with him, but he said that he didnt want to bother me with it. Kyo was on the roof. Even if I were in good health, I'd never be able to make it up there.

My week at Shigure's was almost already up. Then I'd stay at the Main House.

"I surrender!" I said outloud and dropped the pathetic piece of paper I had been trying to fold for over the past hour.

"It's not that hard ya know." I heard a gruff voice behind me say. And I turned around to see Kyo behind me, leaning against the sliding door.

"Well, it's just that...umm." I held up my hands and that said it all. His face was crestfallen with guilt. And I rigorously shook my head.

"No no no! It's not your fault. I didn't see the ladder! It's not your fault at all. I'm just a little stupid. But it's definitely not your fault." I said, winding down, to see him grinning.

"Well you never were that bright." he said sarcastically and I smiled to see that he was acting pretty normal around me know.

"So...Your going over to the Main House this week." He said almost disdainfully. Even though all that's happened him and Yuki still don't ever wish to go back there. I heard him mutter something about a 'stupid rabbit' then promptly shut his mouth again.

"Yeah, I've always wanted to have a look around that place. It's really big." I said, nothing else came to thought. I looked at the clock and realized I should've gone to get the groceries the house would need while I was gone an hour ago and the thought of them starving in the house made me jump to my feet and grab my coat on.

"Where you going?" Kyo looked up in surprise.

"Grocery shopping, I keep having this thought of all you starving here." I said jokingly. Kyo detested grocery shopping, hence, I never asked him to accompany me, knowing he'd ground out a pained 'yes'.

"You'll be okay right?" He asked.

"I'll be fine, promise!" I said, all the while buttoning my coat down. Then I turned around to look at him one last time before going out the door. But he wouldn't allow me to see his face because he faced the other way.

"Well, bye." I said, uncertain before turning around to face the door, my hand already on the handle.

"Wait." He said from behind me, and I half turned to see him, but he still wasn't facing me.

"Umm...yeah?" I asked.

"Look. It's really hard for me to say this. So don't say anything right now." I heard him take a deep breath. " I...I mean we, We don't want you to go. I know I haven't been, well there for you, but I just want to say. You mean a lot to us. Just...don't go."

I've heard a lot of things in my life, but nothing can compare to what I'd just heard. I didn't know what to say. It touched me, I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I wouldn't let fall. I knew what he meant, when he said don't go. My fingers felt numb against the door. I couldn't think. So I said the only two words that could manage without breaking down.

"Thank You. I really mean it. Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me." I said, taking one last look at his back, and walked out of the house, into the snow covered ground. I pulled the coat closer to my body and started walking, while thinking of what he said. I mean, sure I knew they cared about me, but it was nice actually hearing it outloud.

I kept my head down as I walked on the sidewalk. I didn't exactly go to the grocery first thing. I wandered a bit my head still reeling. I don't know how or why, but my feet took me to the playground. The one I had so many fond memories of. I remember that I took Hiro and Kisa here once. But of course, it wasn't good enough for Hiro. I remember Ryou throwing a snowball in my face while waiting for our friends, I remember eating ice creams here with Yuki and Kyo. Both who refused to go until the last second.

I sat on the swing seat, lightly moving it with my feet. I didn't stay there long, but just long enough to get my thoughts together. I thought of my mom. I thought of my friends. I thought of the Sohma's . I thought of everything. And I thought to myself. For maybe not the first time, but this time it was for real. And now I was certain.

It's okay now. I have the love of my friends. That's all I need. That's all I ever needed. I don't know why, but I've always thought that I was okay with it, but just a week ago, I found out I wasn't. Now when I think it, I actually feel that everything will be okay. It was a kind of happiness I could drown in. It made me happy.

I suddenly got up from the seat and started walking, stupid smile plastered on my face. I started walking fast paced to the bus stop, and sat down again. Still smiling a humming a song that I knew I heard from a while back, but still had no idea where it came from.

I saw the busses headlights while it was still away and watched as it slowed down at the stop. I quickly got on and just stood, holding onto one of the poles because it was so crowded. Then I felt something. It was like the warm fuzzy feeling from earlier, except this one was...different.

I felt a stab of distress. It was hot. Or was I just imagining that. It felt like an oven. Getting harder to breath with each second. I brought a hand to my chest. I tried to cough maybe to clear my throat. Nothing happened. It felt like my lungs were being strangled. My eyes started to water. I tried to choke out a help but nothing happened.

My knees started to buckle. My arms got weaker. I looked around the crowded bus, no one took notice. But in the last second before I black out I wasn't afraid. I sure as heck wasn't happy, but...I wasn't mad. I wasn't panicked. I was okay... Then, like a flash of lightning, I saw a face. His face. That silly cow. Then I hit the ground

A Week Later

It was deafly quiet. The hallways were empty. You could hear a needle drop. You couldn't even spark a peep out of Momiji. It was almost as if the whole Sohma Estate was an abandoned ghost town. For the past day, or was it two? Maybe it's been three. You asked someone here. No one could have told you.

Ritsu. He...wasn't the same. He never freaked out anymore, but took on Kisa's way of doing things. By not speaking at all. Or hearing. For who could be blame at a deaf mute? Not even he could.

I walked along the hallways, peeking into each room as I passed. Kisa resorted to not talking again. We haven't heard her voice in the past couple days. The effect it had on Hiro was even worse.

Even though Yuki and Kyo had sworn never to step foot in the Main House again. They were here. They have been for who knows how long since it happened. Even with more people the house seemed deader than ever. Now, when you see one of them, they just sit there and stare. Statue like.

For the past couple days Shigure engrossed himself in his writing. Never stopping to take breaks. He almost never came out of the his room. Ayame. He was less certain of himself all the time now. I think it was because he was so certain that Tohru...would be okay. But now she's...But now he's not certain anymore, can't make decisions.

Her cousin, Her cousin...he took it the hardest. No one's seen him in the past few days. He just up and left one day. He left all his stuff. No one knows where he went. But somehow he was somewhere. Doing something.

What? What happened you ask? Where is Tohru in this gloomy picture. You'll find out. I couldn't take this. I couldn't take being here. I couldn't take seeing all of this. I couldn't take seeing how it's affected all of us. Suddenly I felt angry. Mad. Confused. I stormed out of the house, being sure to slam the door. Screw Akito. I ran my hair through my black/white hair and made my way over to the old park.

The park where I met the real Tohru, the one who got mad, the one who was just as confused, the one that made me laugh. It felt different not having her around. She used to be everywhere. As I walked toward the old park, I took in what was around me, making sure not to miss anything, any part of it. I hated what was happening. We were falling apart at the seams.

I walked to the hill. And sat down, just gazing at the view. What the fuck happened? You ask again. It happened a week ago. I was walking Kisa and Hiro back from their school. My cell phone rang. Tohru. She'd been alone. On the bus, then it happened. Her heart failed. It was starting to erode. But it was so sudden. She was fine one minute. Then...she just stopped being fine.

I ran. I ran as soon as I heard. Kisa was screaming after me frantically, but I couldn't think. I was mad. I could feel Black Haru engulfing my very essence. It made me fast, my adrenaline pulsed. I ran as fast as I could. The Hospital. She was there. Kisa and Hiro has caught up with me when the found out the direction I had run in a look of horror flashed across Kisa's face. Everything stopped. Time had stopped. I didn't even register the faces of people I knew till I sped to her room. The elevator had been the worst part. Waiting for the numbers to go up. Nearly ready to shot all the people getting off or on.

Then I saw here. She was there. On the bed of crisp white sheets, She looked like an angel, but just by looking you could tell something was wrong. Hatori was in there with a nurse. He was looking over some papers, and looking at the monitor and shaking his head once in a while. I walked over to the bed and looked at her. Seeing her up close made me see. Her skin was pale, her lips chapped, her breathing shallow. Almost nonexistent.

Flashback

"Haru, Go wait in the waiting room." He said. I just stood there by her side, then I heard more commotion by the door.

"Sissy..." Her eyes tearing. Streaks falling down her face. "Sissy, Sissy no! Sissy please." Kisa ran over to the bed, While I was numb with fear as to what this meant. Kisa was hysterical, she ran to her crying, screaming, shaking Tour's arm, which only waved like a puppet doll. I could remember distantly hearing her say, "Tohru, wake up! Wake up! Haru, Sissy she won't wake up. I saw the nurse pull her away from Tohru. Circling her arms around her.

"Haru! Take Kisa, And go to the waiting room. Go now." Hatori said, this time more sternly. I still didn't move, and Kisa still cried.

"Is she okay?" I ground out. Eyes gone steely.

"Hatsuharu. Go now. Take Kisa. I will tell you when we know for sure, but your being here won't help her in her state right now." He said evenly in his ever professional voice.

I took one last look at her face. Kissed her forehead. And left. Sitting down into one of the many chairs in the room. I saw Yuki, slouched his in his. His once proud shoulders stooped low. Kyo. leaning against a wall that promptly had a hole the size of a fist next to him. The others just stared into space. Tohru...she was a part of us. She was our other half. And now...

Kisa settled down next to me. Crying hysterically still. I pulled her into a hug, and let her cry. I felt like crying too. But Black Haru's personality won out, and I punched the chair next to me, sending it flying near the whole Kyo had already made. 'I won't allow it. I won't allow her to die.' I thought angrily

I suddenly stood up. Kisa went up with me.

"Why the hell wasn't anyone with her!" I shouted angrily, my eyes flaming as I shot a look at everyone, snapping them out of their gloom.

"Don't you even dare give me that look." Yuki sneered from his seat, not looking up once. Shigure didn't even look up from the floor. My eyes went to the only other person in the room that could've been with her, but wasn't.

"Kyo, You better start talking before I kill you." I said, deadly serious. Shigure looked up now. If anyone could tell that I wasn't just joking around, he definitely could. Kyo tensed up, ready for the obvious fight about to happen.

"You know I'd never let anything like this happen to her by choice! Your a fucking bastard for assuming that." He yelled back, readying his fists.

"Well you damn right did." I screamed back, and with the new speed from Black Haru I punched him square in the jaw.

"STOP. Stop this now. This is no way to handle this." I let Kyo out of my choke hold to see Ryou.

"What the hell do you know! You left her the first time you found out about it! What do you say about that?" I yelled, voice full of accusations. I could see what I did took affect immediately.

"Don't you dare presume to think you know about what really happened! Do you hear me? Don't. You. Dare." He shouted. His face contorted in rage. And I regretted what I said.

"You had no idea what happened. You have no idea." he continued to ground out.

"Now we sit and wait. She will be fine." He said, trying to convince us, although he ran his hand through his hair, a sign of stress. I could tell straight through his eyes. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

A few hours passed. Although it felt like years. Kisa settled down to loud hiccups. Ritsu looked like he was having seizures. and I unclenched and relented my fists. Drawing blood from the crescent moon nails lines. Then Hatori came in. He looked like he aged a couple years in those hours. Everyone looked up at him, some with gloomy eyes knowing fully well that she was...dead. While others, Kisa and Kyo, they had that small, but stealthier spark of hope.

"Everyone. This is hard for me to say but...I'm sorry, everyone." He said head bent down.

"Fuck." I said slowly, I felt a warm wetness slid down my cheek. I suddenly stood up. Just that starting sentence out of Hatori, I knew. Something was wrong with her. It was over. I never told her of what really happened at the old park. I never told her about what I really felt. And now. I'll never be able to. We'll never be able to what I always pictured us to be.

"Fuck you all!" I shouted out to no one in particular. and Ran. Ran far away.

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I hate putting an authors note in chapter, but this is important. Yeah. See now, this was originally going to be Tohru/Akito, but then it kinda shifted towards Tohru/Haru...dilemma I know. So give me your opinion on whose better.

PLEASE REVIEW which pair you like better. Shit, I'm already in a C2 community for OX and the ONIGRI although I am happy I got accepted into a C2 community. But I kind like the whole Haru and Tohru thing, and I've already gone too far with it, but it the general public wants Akito. I'm a master at swinging this whole thing around in a giant U-turn, while all the while making it believable.

Well REVIEW AND TELL ME. Or should I just stop this whole story now? Cause I like it. No this is not the last chapter.