PINK CRAYON ch. 3

Alright. So I've beem questioning my sanity lately, and decided screw it. So please enjoy.

"Alright. In order for what you so kindly call 'torture' to be over, you need to be my personal man slaves." Riri said, cracking her neck slightly.

Hichigo turned his back on them, and made a dramatic face. "Trouble has brought a cruel fate for our beautiful and talented Hichigo-sama! What will he do?!" he sighed. "No worries ladies out there" he winked. "I'll get out of this alive!"

"So anyway. I'll need some materials! We're gonna need...ribbon, cake, fake flowers, Downy fabric softener, Hearts plus! And those little vietnamese candies that Erikku-kun gave me."

"You need all this to write a fanfiction?!" Ichigo yelled. He nearly fainted at the uniform Ishida pulled out for him to wear. "You!" he pointed an accusing finger at the quincy. "You've been helping her all along." the quincy merely bowed his head in shame.

"I tried to run away, and gain freedom...the last time I tried, she tied me to a chair and made me listen to the barney song fifteen times. And even then she wasn't satisfied. Next was the fun song, and both emo songs. I-I..." Ishida shuddered, giving Ichigo a zombie like stare. "I've never been the same since." both teenagers sent a glance to the 'innocent' Riri, who was bobbing her head in time to the 'fufufuwaooooo' song.

"Man... id that's how she treats the guys she likes, I wonder how she treats those guys she hates." at that very moment a familiar voice cried out in pain.

"Not the teletubbies! NOT THE TELETUBIIIIIIIIIIES!" Ishida shivered with horror, as if he knew exactly what Aizen was going through.

"You don't know the half of it. Nnoitra had stuffed animals strapped to his body with duct tape, his eye patch covered in sequins, and buttons glued to his face. Then he was fed nothing but apple sauce for three months strait!"

"Stop stop! I can't take the horror! Help me green crayon!" he hugged his case of crayons to his now frilly uniformed chest. (How he managed to change without me noticing, who knows)

"We're not done yet! He was dunked repeatedly in soy sauce." Ichigo shivered, eyes widening in fear. "And then barbeque sauce."

"Noo..."

"A hint of thyme and basil."

"NOOO!"

"And he was placed in a water tank with a starving great white." Ichigo screamed in terror. "But she won't do that to you guys. The worse that will happen is some emo songs and avenue Q's 'if you were gay'" Ishida smiled, fixing Ichigo's frilly pink dress.

"Where are my vietnamese candies?!" Riri called. But she stopped yelling when she saw Ichigo in his uniform. "Oh my god! You are the meaning of cute!" she crawled over to him, looking up with adoration as if he was a god. "The slight blush, the showing of legs, the way your headdress compliments your hair!" she screamed with ecstasy, hugged his legs. "Perfect!"

"Um...I'm going to go get that stuff...over there...away from you..." he wiggled out of the authoress's grip, running down the stairs.

Riri turned crazed eyes on Hichigo, who was drawing on the walls. "Pin cushions..." the hollow cursed, turning around slowly when he felt those demonic eyes on him. Like chipmunks...chipmunks... oh it had been a happy picnic, until his peanuts were stolen and his father was turned into a weremunk!

"Yes pin cushions. Pin cushions are exactly what I have in mind!" she cackled, then gazed at Hichigo again with those big brown unblinking chipmunkie eyes! "You and Ichigo are going to fall in love, all because of sewing! It's perfect! Hee hee!"

"Knowing you, nothing is ever perfect." Ichigo grumbled, he dragged a bag of stuff to the top of the stairs. He pushed the once again drooling Riri off him. "I got you some craft wire while I was at it."

"You devil!" Riri shouted, enraged. "What are you trying to do?! Distract me?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now go sit in the corner while I listen to this tape of Erikku-kun yelling about Zaraki." she giggled hysterically as a high pitched male voice emitted from her computer.

"He was laughing and laughing! While getting hacked to pieces! I don't like that guy he's freaking crazy! Yelling yes ichigo kill me more! And laughing! He's getting KILLED!" she was reduced to fits of snorting laughter until she was clawing for breath. Then she paused it, and immediately calmed down.

"Alright! Time to get started!" she began typing at an unbelievable pace. "Oh ho! With the work we go! We're going through the tunnels! We're turning through the bed! And when we come back we'll do it all over again!" Riri sang.

"You know what scares me the most?" Ichigo whispered to Hichigo. Though the hollow wasn't listening, he continued talking anyway. "It's that I actually obeyed her..." he sat in the fetal position in the corner, cringing at the high notes that Riri tried to sing.

Hichigo simply hummed, rocking back and forth. "Chipmunks...no! Not the peanuts! Take my sister! Take the potato salad. Anything but the peanuts..."

Ichigo took out his box of crayons, glaring at pink. "This is your fault. This is all your fault."

TBC

heh. Sanity is lacking... review!