CHAPTER 7

I am very very very very very very very very very verysorry. I hit the largest writer's block I've ever had, but finally I'm done this chapter. Ooohoohooo…Tomoyo Tomoyo Tomoyo…

I was listening to "1000 miles" while writing the last bit. I'm such a romantic…

Again, sorry.

Tomoyo's chest sunk in. The air was shot out of her. She collapsed and fell to her knees. Meiling stayed standing, staring, tears…

Sakura-chan… Tomoyo tried to whisper her name to her heart, but the name tore a gap, a hole that took in Tomoyo's heart, soul, and almost her happiness.

Yes, almost. Tomoyo's eyes may have gone blank with shock. They may not ever go back to the sparkling blue, but Tomoyo knew that they would, no matter what she felt.

Sakura's happiness went into Tomoyo's body like water or air. Tomoyo was like a sponge and Sakura's happiness was the liquid. No matter how hard she tried, nothing could separate her from Sakura's happiness…

Tomoyo's eyes snapped open. She got up slowly and walked over to her Sakura exclusive calendar. The day was…

"What?" Tomoyo cried. That long? It seemed like it was only yesterday that she had seen that scene, but it was actually…a month.

"Tomoyo! School!"

"Coming!"

Tomoyo threw on her school uniform and looked into her mirror. Her eyes were darker than usual. Her hair seemed flatter. Her hands bonier…

Tomoyo reached the kitchen.

"Miss Tomoyo!" cried a servant.

"Yes?"

"You are going to be late!"

"What? I haven't even eaten!"

"You…you were going to eat today, miss?"

Tomoyo rode in the limo with thoughts. It was as if everything had passed her by without her noticing. She hadn't eaten for a while, judging by her bony hands and body, drooping hair…she was evidently over-tired, from the dark circles…

"Am I okay?" she asked the driver.

"I've been asking you that for a month, Miss"

The school was normal as Tomoyo remembered. She was in grade six. She walked to her locker and saw Sakura close by.

"Sakura-chan!"

Sakura turned. "Oh, hi Tomoyo."

Tomoyo was stunned. Sakura never acted so odd around her. Why…?

Then again, she did scream at her. The visage never escaped her mind, but Tomoyo had to make the better of it. Her head seemed to throb from her memory.

"You don't look very cheerful today. Sakura-chan." Tomoyo commented once they were in class.

"Tomoyo, what has gotten into you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm always like this…aren't I?"
"You're normally quiet and you never talk to me…"

Tomoyo racked her brain. What had happened? She had seen Sakura kiss Shaoran, then…then…

"I'm sorry, I've been out of it for a while…are you angry with me?"

Sakura's shocked face wiped away to a beautiful grin. Her eyes sparkled. "No, never. I'm glad you're back, Tomoyo."

In the sixth grade, everything seemed bigger, including herself, Sakura...

"Where's Shaoran-kun?"

"Man, Tomoyo, you have been out of it. He went back to…Hong Kong…" Sakura lowered her head in a soft, sad movement. Tomoyo instantly remembered Sakura waving to Shaoran…Tomoyo hadn't reacted….did Shaoran really leave?

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan…" Tomoyo said, her voice breathy and shallow. She had caused Sakura so much pain from not being there for her, like she always had been. But…

It was because of her…wasn't it? Tomoyo and Sakura walked home, Tomoyo clutching her bag in her arms. Sakura had been with Shaoran, but she was so young….only 12…so young for such extreme relationships, right?

"Tomoyo…I'm sorry"

"What? No, Sakura-chan, I should be the one who's sorry"

"Really?" Sakura skated, her hair blowing about her face. One lock got caught in her eye, and she flicked it away subconsciously, causing a tingle to go up Tomoyo's spine. "I always thought that you being quiet for so long was my fault, from you shouting at me, you know. I always thought that I did something…I'm sorry"

"No…it was more…like I did something to myself…"

"Like what?"

"It's….it's hard to explain."

"Okay…"

Tomoyo regained her strength over the next month, and Sakura entertained her with stories involving Kero and Shaoran arguments, with Yue hitting Shaoran firmly on the head, saying it was his job to protect her, all the while Tomoyo apologizing that she wasn't in these stories.

Everything seemed back to normal. However, Tomoyo's heart leaped further than before when she saw Sakura each day. She kept her camcorder to record Sakura's every movement, and each time Tomoyo remembered…

She remembered shouting her denial in loving Sakura.

It's not that she didn't know before, it was that she didn't know the intensity of that love.

Tomoyo looked up to see the edited footage of their adventure. She smiled at the small Sakura's face shouting "hooee" while Kero shouted "advice" to her.

"I…I…" why couldn't Tomoyo say it? She knew that she loved Sakura…that Sakura was her number one, but for some reason she couldn't say it aloud, the three words "I love Sakura-chan". It never came out, only muffled and then burrowed by stubborn tears.

Tomoyo had to say it. It was a need in her heart to tell Sakura, because if she didn't, it would explode. She felt that she could live up to the promise she told Sakura one year ago…

"I would love that one person to be with me, but as long as they are happy, then I can live happy in response."

Tomoyo's hand shook as it closed over her phone. She picked it up, and almost touched Sakura's phone number on speed-dial when her Phone rang back at her.

"Daidouji."

"Tomoyo!"

"Sakura-chan?? What is it?"

"Come over, I have something to show you!"

Tomoyo quickly grabbed her coat and almost ran to Sakura's house if her chauffer didn't drive her first.

"Sakura-chan! What is it?"

"Look!"

Tomoyo lifted the paper, patterned with Japanese, when up popped a familiar face. "Tomoyo!!!"

"Kero-chan! I haven't seen you in a while."

"Exactly! Man, Tomoyo. Sakura got this letter from the kid and hasn't been functioning correctly since."

"Shut up" Sakura replied stubbornly.

"So, what's so special, Sakura?"

"See?" Sakura pointed at the end of the letter. Right before Shaoran's name, there was an alien symbol. It was Chinese.

"What does it say?"

"I looked it up….it means… 'love'"

Tomoyo put on a fake smile and congratulated with Sakura. However, Tomoyo's mind started to flee again. Tomoyo now recognized this feeling. It was the feeling from before, where she went out for a month. She forced her consciousness back and grabbed Sakura's hand. "Come on, let's take a walk. See you, Kero-chan"

"Okay! Buy me a souvenir!"

"What is it, Tomoyo?" Sakura asked, her oblivious self resurfacing.

Tomoyo sighed loudly. She was terrified, but she knew she had to tell Sakura. Telling Sakura would conclude their friendship, but also conclude Tomoyo's suffering, and Sakura's obliviousness.

"Sakura-chan"

"Hm?"

"I'm happy that you're happy."

"Thanks…"

Tomoyo grasped her hand. "I'm always happy when you're happy, remember that."

"uh...yea, okay."

Tomoyo's eyes filled with tears. "Because if you don't have a smile, I can't live! You have to be happy. Are you happy?"

"Uh yes, with Shaoran. You helped and I'm grateful..."

"You're happy! I should be happy..." Tomoyo collapsed. Sakura was pulled down with her. Sakura almost collapsed on top of Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked up into Sakura's face. The face was beautiful. She had aged - not much, but enough to be noticeable from the first face of Sakura she'd seen in the third grade.

Third...three. What a small number.

"You love him, and he makes you happy. I should be happy, because I'd do anything to make you happy and when you're happy I'm happy...but I'm not happy...are you happy?" Tomoyo's babbled gave Sakura a startled look, but it slowly softened, just for Tomoyo.

"I am happy Tomoyo. What's wrong? Has something happened? Has someone hurt you?"

Tomoyo remained silent. She grabbed Sakura's arms and didn't let go. She lowered her head, breathed carefully, trying not to shout again.

Tomoyo looked back into Sakura's face. It was close to hers. Tomoyo could feel Sakura's breath on her lips. So close…

Sakura had a questioned look. The adorable look she wore so often during the adventure that covered three years.

Three again. What was so special about that number? Why three? Tomoyo shook her head lightly. She was babbling again…

Sakura still looked at her. Her hair was slightly touching Tomoyo's face enough to be ticklish. Tomoyo, realizing the close presence, didn't move.

"You're happy?" Sakura asked.

"I..happy..." Tomoyo thought aloud.

"Are you happy?"

"Am I happy? You're happy?"

Sakura leaned in slightly more. Tomoyo squinted to relive her feelings. She can't ...no...Shaoran…

"You're happy?"

"I..." Tomoyo shook her head. She can't be happy..

"Because if you aren't happy, how can I..." As Sakura spoke, she was closer to Tomoyo than ever before. Sakura lowered her head onto Tomoyo's. "Are you happy, is the better question."

Tomoyo blushed furiously. She then looked into Sakura's eyes, the glowing green she had so long admired…

She jumped up, but on the way, their lips made a startling contact. Sakura flinched horribly, but Tomoyo didn't notice. Was she happy?

"Yes"