CHAPTER 8

I have to see if I can get all my ideas down. We'll have to see, I suppose…

It was as soon as Tomoyo came back from her vacant-ness, she went away. Or did she? Tomoyo had walked to school, sat in the same place and talked to Sakura all the time once again…but Sakura didn't act the same.

Tomoyo knew Sakura was trying to forget it. Numerous times Tomoyo had punished herself for letting Sakura feel such pain, but later on never regretted it, as now Sakura knew about Tomoyo's feelings. But then what? How should Sakura respond? Apparently Shaoran had told Sakura the truth of his love, and had not…had not…

Once again, Tomoyo's head did not obey her heart. Not only could she still not utter the words "I love Sakura" but she couldn't realize the pain she cause Sakura by the lip contact. Each time Tomoyo tried she remembered not the sensation, but Sakura's horrid flinch that Tomoyo ignored at the time.

But Tomoyo stayed healthy. She did not deteriorate, though she wanted to desperately. The only change was that she didn't videotape Sakura that much anymore. Sure, there was the occasional snapshot, but seeing Sakura's fake smile and vacant thought-filled face during class tore Tomoyo apart, and Tomoyo did not ever want to see that face again.

Every time Tomoyo tried to talk to Sakura about it, planning out a thought-out speech of how she was sorry, her brain shut up and refused to say he words Sakura needed to hear. Tomoyo simply said "Good Morning" and "See you tomorrow" each day, and Sakura never replied.

Tomoyo sat down next to Sakura and once again looked at Sakura's beauty, basking in the sunlight through the window. As much as Tomoyo knew she loved Sakura, it seemed as if now that it was revealed it was not as strong. Tomoyo still smiled every time she saw Sakura and her heart gave a gratifying leap in her chest, but it wasn't as extreme. Tomoyo now yearned to make amends and to apologize, but what with her heart disobeying her…

"Good morning, Tomoyo" Sakura said.

Tomoyo almost screamed. She was now used to talking first, and Sakura's face wasn't as fake as before…was she forgiving, or was she still acting, and Tomoyo was used to the acting as being normal?

"G-good morning, Sakura-chan…"

"Tomoyo, do you want to go for a walk after school? There's a nice juice shop down the road…they have cool smoothies."

"Uh…why—sure" Tomoyo said. She was terrified, but if Sakura had chosen to speak, Tomoyo may never get another chance.

The hours passed by slowly, and Tomoyo couldn't stop looking at Sakura. Sakura was actually more cheerful, smiling more often at conversations and whispering jokes to Tomoyo during class. She participated in gym with more enthusiasm. It was as if she was repeating Tomoyo's month in her vacant auto-pilot, and is now coming to her senses. Remembering that time, Tomoyo cringed at her own actions. After Shaoran came with Sakura back from saving the world once again Tomoyo had the small bitter feeling in her heart grow to the extreme of deteriorating from the shock. Tomoyo had shouted at Sakura, and then ki…ki…then she hurt Sakura even more, all for personal gain. How could Sakura ever forgive her?

In what had seemed like two centuries, the bell rang and Tomoyo watched Sakura's cheerleading practice. Normally Sakura didn't plan anything unless she was completely free, but Tomoyo knew this was a special case.

"Tomoyo, let's go!" Sakura yelled in delight, energetic from her practice. Tomoyo nodded dumbly as Sakura took her hand.

She's acting the same as before…should I be happy, or cautious? Tomoyo's mind asked her constantly. She insisted to be cautious, but eventually it melted away to reveal the giggles she had kept in for so long…

The smoothies were delicious and Sakura told Tomoyo about her recent conversation with Shaoran via letters and e-mail.

"He said he's coming back for Christmas vacation! What should I get him?" Sakura was back to normal, and Tomoyo was glad…but the back of her mind chided with the negative thoughts that Sakura was going to burst into negativity and respond to Tomoyo's feelings. Even at the small thought Tomoyo cringed. She might as well get used to the idea though…it wasn't as if she was going to love Tomoyo back…

They were walking to Sakura's house, Sakura insisting on cooking, and Tomoyo couldn't handle it any longer. If Sakura was going to reject her, Tomoyo wanted it over and done with and have Sakura break her heart.

"Sakura-chan…why did you treat me for all of this?"

"Why not?" Sakura asked cheerfully, but stopped. Sakura quieted down, but did not look sincere. "I mean…you are my best friend, and you've treated me for all these years…"

Tomoyo shook her head. "I've deceived you, Sakura-chan. I don't deserve to be your friend anymore, and—"

"Don't say that," Sakura said, and grinned. "You are my best friend. No matter what"

Before Tomoyo could reply, Sakura dragged Tomoyo to her house, chatting lightly the entire way.

At Sakura's house Yukito and Sakura's brother were there, talking and drinking tea. Sakura rushed past them, giving Yukito a wave and her brother a nod and told them to entertain Tomoyo, who was left in the middle of the hallway as Sakura zoomed up the stairs.

"Hi Tomoyo" Yukito said, grinning at Sakura's departure.

"Er….hi…um, what is Sakura—"

"Who knows? She was so loud and jabbery this morning I couldn't understand her. Must be some dialect of some Monster language"

"Touya!" Yukito looked at Tomoyo and grinned. "She's just cheerful again. Don't worry about it."

Tomoyo nodded but couldn't help but glance up the stairs every now and again to see if Sakura would come down. The one time she did, however, she zoomed past and all Tomoyo could tell was a flash of pink and green. Touya and Yukito dismissed it, and Tomoyo's suspicion increased.

To change the subject, Yukito began blabbing. "So Tomoyo, you know about Yue, and Touya knows about Yue, but I don't know much about him except he cares for Sakura. Hmmm…he does say how he's annoyed at Keroberos a lot…who is that?"

Tomoyo was amazed at the lightning fast words popping out of his mouth. She was also surprise that Touya was not fazed a bit, and grinned as Kero came down the stairs.

"I heard Tomoyo came form Sakura! Tomoyo! Did you bring sweets??"

Tomoyo looked and saw that no one was surprised. Sakura must have introduced them after all the Sakura Cards were created.

"No, Kero-chan. I'm sorry."

'That's okay. Hey Yuki-rabbit, why'd you blab that you didn't know me??"

"Sorry…sparing time" he winked at Kero.

Tomoyo was very confused. "What is happening??"

"Dinner's ready!"

Everyone got up and walked to the kitchen, leaving Tomoyo alone on the couch, pondering. She was more confused than ever, but she followed along.

As she entered the kitchen, she not only saw food, Touya and Yukito at the table, but Shaoran was there! And Sakura and Shaoran were wearing the clothes that Tomoyo made for their last adventure. But…why?

"Happy Birthday, Tomoyo!" Sakura yelled and handed her a portion of food. "My birthday?"

Everyone laughed and helped themselves. "I suppose it's not really your birthday party" Kero said, "It's more of a thank you party. But we'll treat it as your belated birthday party! Sakura said it wasa the third of September, but you were funny by then."

"Thank…me party?"

"Of course! You always did everything for Sakura, and let her figure things out for herself." Touya said.

"You consoled her when I couldn't" Shaoran mentioned.

"And tried your best when I couldn't do the same" Sakura smiled softly. Tomoyo's surprised face broke into a contented smile that grew bigger and bigger until she burst into laughter and ate every scrap of food given to her with gratitude.

Afterwards, however, after Sakura bid Shaoran farewell, Sakura grabbed Tomoyo by the hand once again and told her quietly, "Let's go for a walk"