How To Kill Your Boyfriend In One Hard Lesson Chapter 6, an angel fanfic

Disclaimer: Don't own, etc., etc. Joss Whedon rules supreme and retains pretty much everything. Only written for personal enjoyment and because this plot bunny just wouldn't die, even after some serious staking…

Summary: Occurs after Brother, Unfortunately Mine. Rating 18 for sexual references. The sibling theme is not entirely played out …

HOW TO KILL YOUR (PSYCHO) BOYFRIEND IN ONE HARD LESSON

Chapter 6 – A Teenager In Love - Not

Harmony hit PRINT and watched the brightly coloured A4 sheets of paper grow on the pile with satisfaction. Most would consider it a trivial task to inspire pleasure, but being a vampire had given Harmony a new self-awareness. Shallow, yes, more than tending towards superficial, yes, but Harmony wasn't stupid.

Being Angel's secretary and working for the Powers That Be (of course that was by default, since she seemed to be the only vampire around here who didn't have a soul and was therefore Evil) might not be far up the food chain, but Harmony knew it was more than she could have hoped for. She wasn't good at any of the things vampires were supposed to be good at – the slaughter and the mayhem, the cunning scheming and homicidal plotting. Look at how she'd nearly ended up dusted when that bitch Tamica had framed her for killing that demon liaison! She was probably the only vampire in history to prefer blood banks to the necks of living people because the most terrified – initially - human seemed to recognise her ineptness in about a half-second flat and realise they were more lethal than her –

"I-I-Is this Angel's office?"

Harmony looked up and blinked in surprise; for all their exotic client-base, teenage human girls didn't feature. The girl was pretty in that Helen Bonham Carter 'sweet rose' way, with waist length brunette hair that wrapped around her like strands of silk, bespeaking either very expensive conditioner or else the sort of natural genetic good fortune that could make a vampiress go green with envy. She was slender but with nicely curved hips and a definite but not too large bosom. Right now however her eyes were damp with tears. Someone's probably stolen her teddy bear. "Yes but he's in conference – Hey – I said – Hey!"

"Why us?" Angel asked in exasperation. He seemed to be asking that question a lot lately, and it was starting to annoy him.

"Traditionally, Wolfram & Hart –" Gunn's explanation got no further as they all heard Harmony's yell of " 'You can't go in!'"

Harmony was on the interloper's heels as the young girl burst through open the double doors of Angel's office. However, by that time every occupant of the room was facing the door in a deceptively relaxed stance that belied the coiled readiness in each one's attitude and the fact that everyone had a hand on a weapon. This was after all, Wolfram & Hart, meaning anything could burst through the door – and sometimes did.

The teenage girl took in the occupants of the room with one sweeping glance, as they looked at her in baffled confusion. Then her lower lip trembled and her composure melted away like ice-cream on a warm hearth.

Spike did a double take and took a step forward. "Little Bit?"

"S-S-Spike." The girl hurtled herself forward to bury her face in his black T-shirt covered chest and began to sob brokenly.

"Oomph." But Spike hardly swayed under the impact; it took a lot more than an adolescent human, former primordial cosmic energy being or not, to put a vampire on his ass. His arms came round the shaking girl. "Sshh, pet." Lowering his chin till it rested on her hair he began to rub his hand on her back in soothing concentric circles. "Harm, get her a mug of coffee, plenty of cream, two sugars. Come on, Dawnie." Holding her to himself with effortless strength, Spike eased himself back and down onto one of the leather couches in Angel's office.

"The Key?" Fred stage-whispered to Wesley as they gathered around, glad to notice that Illyria had not stirred yet.

Wesley nodded silent affirmation, not taking his eyes of the girl, his expression troubled. Gunn and Lorne exchanged raised eyebrows and oh-oh here we go again looks.

Sniffling loudly, Dawn raised her head and rubbed at her eyes until Fred rapidly produced a handkerchief. "T-T-Thanks."

Angel looked at her curiously, having only ever really seen her at a distance; he had left for LA immediately after the then Scooby Gang destroyed Mayor Richard Wilkins I-III, a.k.a. the "giant demon snake", long before she arrived in Sunnydale. She wasn't Buffy's real sister of course. A mystical construct by an unknown entity for unknown reasons countless aeons ago, she had existed as pure energy for untold millennia until some guardian monks had forged her into human form and sent her to the Slayer to be protected from the Hell God Glory. Buffy had done exactly that, and died in the process. Somehow, however, Angel found himself unable to dislike this slender fawn.

"What's up, Niblet?" Spike asked as Harmony joined the semi-circle of surrounding adults, holding out the requested coffee. Taking the mug from her and handing it to Dawn, his voice hardened. "You're not in LA on your own?"

Dawn gave him her ultimate Bambi-After-His-Mom's-Been-Shot look, but it bounced off like a rubber ball against a wall. "T-the others think I'm sorting out my admissions paperwork at UC Sunnydale for the weekend."

"Didn't that get…sucked in or…down…into the crater when I closed the Hellmouth, like Sunnydale?" Spike asked.

"Not quite. They lost half a parking lot, that's all, and it's more of a valley actually. It's already being considered a special conservation area. Giles bought that old mansion on the hill," Dawn paused as Angel visibly flinched, but decided to go along with everyone else and tactfully ignore it, " - it was about the only other thing that survived besides UC Sunnydale, oh, and the airport, so we're camping out there while we rebuild new houses at the top. I loved the school when Buffy and I were in Rome, but I thought it was best if I went to UC Sunnydale with the other Slayers who are still Freshmen, so Buffy's not worrying about me being someplace else." Dawn explained.

"So what happened?" Gunn asked, to the point as ever.

Dawn looked at Spike miserably. "I-I really, really need your help. I-I just didn't know who to turn to. Everyone's working so hard, flat out, to get things up and running. We've got new Slayers arriving by the busload every day, a lot of them with their entire families back to the nth generation in tow; half of them have no idea what's happening and most go into serious denial when they find out. Then there's all this hassle with the new Watcher Council and the old Watcher Council –"

"Yeah, we've had run-ins with the Old Guard." Angel admitted. "I imagine they're even less happy with you up in Sunnydale than they are with us here."

Dawn snorted, "Tell me about it! You wouldn't believe the crap they've tried to pull on us, especially messing with Giles' head – can you believe they actually sent letters addressed to Judas Iscariot II, c/o Sunnydale?"

"Charming." Lorne muttered sarcastically.

"Yeah…and Giles tried to get this book for us…the something Codex…" Dawn scowled fiercely at the memory, "…and somehow the Watchers Council got hold of it and instead sent this other book by that famous Italian guy, Dante, you know, where he gets taken on a tour of hell…it was the last book, the famous one with the Ninth Circle of Hell, the deepest, worst and most terrible pit, which is for –"

"…those who betray." Wesley Wyndham-Pryce finished for her.

Angel shot Wesley a sharp glance, something in the Englishman's voice making the hairs on his dead vampire arms prickle – no mean feat, but Wesley's attention was, seemingly, focussed entirely on Dawn.

Dawn nodded in furious affirmation, "That's right. 'Traitor' is the nicest thing they've called him."

"Hey, it's one up on 'perverted'." Harmony interjected, jerking her head towards Wesley.

"Thank you, Harmony." Wesley's tone was biting.

Dawn blinked then went on hurriedly, "I-I just don't want to be the cause of another problem they've got to run around and fix, they hardly get chance to eat and sleep as it is…besides, I feel so stupid. It's all my fault." She appealed to Spike, "I really thought I was being careful this time, I swear. I promise, after Justin turned out to be a vampire –"

"Jeez, what is it with you Summers women and the undead?"

There was another frozen silence and Lorne raised his hands in defensive surrender as everyone glared at him.

"It was ages ago, and she didn't know." Spike defended her sharply.

Dawn gave her defender a watery smile and hastened to explain to them, "I met him at a party, it was my first date. He was really cool, even though he was a football jock. We were in the woods and Buffy –"

"You parked on a first date?" Angel demanded censoriously.

This time everyone glared at him; Spike raised both eyebrows and drawled, "Hello, glasshouse and whacking great boulder?"

Angel cringed; Spike had been the non-consenting recipient of some of Angelus' more exotic sexual experiments and knew exactly what sort of debauchery the older vampire was capable of. Hard-core pornography had nothing on Angelus' appetite for perversion.

"Anyway, he was…you know." Dawn shrugged. "This time I was so careful I was practically paranoid."

"It ended badly." Lorne stated rather than asked. "The tune changes, but the song remains the same."

"That's the problem." Dawn looked at Spike. "He won't accept that it's ended atall. That's why I'm here. I'm being stalked, literally by the psychotic demon boyfriend from hell."

Continued in Chapter 7…