im so sorrie that it took so long 4 me to write this chapter but with work and all other crap i didnt have the time. thank u to everyone who reviewed. and desdemona i took what u said n2 consideration and tried to make it easier to read. and i want 2 give redit to acosta again 4 an idea n the story. football head isnt used meanly anymore.
no I do not own hey arnold! please stop thinking that i do
Helga wandered the streets of her town as she thought about nothing. Phoebe was on a date with Gerald, and her parents' anniversary was today and they had went out. So instead of sitting at home watching TV, she decided to take a walk. Her feet led her to her old school, PS 118. It looked nothing like what it did when she lasted walked the halls of the school. It had been closed a few years before, why Helga wasn't exactly certain. In some cases she had heard to was lead paint, and in others she heard it was toxic mold.
Whatever the reason, the school board hadn't corrected it, so the school remained closed. As she walked up the steps, she wondered about Mr. Simmons. She hadn't seen him much since she left PS 118, and since she started high school, she hadn't seen him at all. She had to admit, even though he wanted everyone to get in touch with their feelings more than she had liked, Helga knew that Mr. Simmons was one of the few teachers left in the world who actually cared.
Her thoughts left her old teacher as she realized that the door to the school was unlocked. She thought that strange. There wasn't any graffiti outside of the school, so it didn't look like someone had broken in, but she stuck her head in and listened for anything just in case. Going inside the school, she walked around remembering things that she hadn't thought about in years. Walking past the principal's office, she remembered how Curly went ballistic one day, and threw dodge balls at everyone. Seeing the auditorium reminded her of how she played the part of Juliet after she had confessed to Lila that she liked Arnold. Helga wasn't sure if Lila remembered Helga's confession to her, and even if she did, she would have to think that she didn't have it any more. At least Helga prayed she didn't.
She stopped when she saw that she had reached her old classroom. Helga smiled at the rush of memories the assailed her as she went to her old desk. How they had all went crazy and ran away from Mr. Simmons when that flood had happened. When they had to use every trick that they knew to get rid of that drill sergeant to get Mr. Simmons back. Making sure the desk wouldn't collapse under her weight, she sat down. After a moment, her eyes trained directly on the seat that Arnold used to occupy.
Things between them were a lot different now. For years, they had barely acknowledged each other in school, now they spent most of their time together. They could only stand to be around Gerald and Phoebe for half and hour at the most, then they would make some excuse to leave the couple. The time that they spent alone, all they did was talk. She had even stupidly told him how she went down to the sewers once and almost ended up the Rat King's Rat Queen. She had to hurry up and change the subject because she didn't realize that she mentioned her locket. And there wasn't anyway that she was going to tell him what was in it.
Spending time with Arnold was great. Except when some girl or another would try to get his attention. With half jealousy half annoyance, Helga would only be able to take it for so long until she either walked away or went off. Like with that girl Stephanie. She was all over Arnold and Helga had tried, she really had. But it wasn't long until she had told Stephanie some not very nice things that made Helga pretty sure she wouldn't even think about looking at Arnold again.
Thankfully, everyone in school just took it for friendship and not anything else. That was something that they really were now. Not just someone he would help when he thought they needed it when they were younger. But actually friends and Helga loved that fact. Even though she loved the fact that they were friends, she also hated how much harder it was to hide her feelings. Before, it wasn't a big deal. They barely spoke, she didn't have to worry about hiding them for to long or slipping up. Now, half the time she was catching herself from saying something reveling and the other half she was stopping herself from almost kissing him.
Helga was thinking about how much easier it was before her hormones kicked in when a very familiar voice said, "There you are Helga. I've been looking everywhere for you." Thinking about him must have conjured him up, because as she turned her head, Arnold walked into the room.
Trying to sound casual as possible, she said, "Hey football head. What brings you here?" She watched as Arnold shook his head and smile slightly. They both knew that the term 'football head' wasn't said with mean intent anymore. Arnold even suggested calling her uni-brow. That wasn't something Helga had liked, especially since she'd had two of them since the eight grade. Arnold just laughed at her and said he wasn't serious. But he would find a name for her.
"I could ask you the same question. I was driving when I saw you walk by here. Before I could say anything, you came in here." Arnold told her as he took a seat next to her. Helga forced herself to drag her eyes away from his beloved face before she answered.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I was walking and this is where my feet took me to. I decided to come in and reminisce about the past for a while." She watched Arnold look around the room as it dawned on him.
"Isn't this out old fourth grade class?" At her nod he continued. "I remember now. I used to sit right there." He pointed his finger to a desk that was in front and to the left of them. "I don't think that anyone but you ever threw a spitball at me." After he said that, Helga felt herself turn red.
"Well, it's no secret that I was a bully when we were here. I was mean to everyone, except Phoebe." She told him glumly. She didn't want to get into that. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that she did all of that because she liked him.
Holding up his hands, he said, "Hey, I'm not trying to get on you for it. We were like what? Nine? That was almost a decade ago. We've both changed since then. And I knew that you were just doing it as a defense mechanism."
Giving Arnold a look, she asked, "Against what?"
Arnold's expression softened. "I saw how your parents treated you when we were young remember? I know you acted that way to cover up how you really felt."
Helga's eyes flashed. "Something that will never change is I will never except pity."
"Calm down Helga." Arnold said defensively. "I didn't mean that I pitied you now or back then. I just understand why you acted the way you did." He was quiet for a few minutes, then, "What did happen between you and your parents for everything to change?"
Helga didn't reply. None of her friends knew what really happened to make her finally get along with her parents, not even Phoebe. She didn't like to think about that time in her life, but could she really tell Arnold? She wanted to, but she didn't know how he would react. Deciding to take a chance, she took a deep breath and started to talk.
"I left." Was all she said simply.
Arnold looked at her confusedly. "You left? What, from your house?" It was obvious to Helga that in the time she hadn't spoken, he had figured that she wasn't going to answer and his mind went to others subjects.
Shaking her head, she said, "It was the summer after eight grade. I told Phoebe that I went to see an aunt spur of the moment." Arnold still looked confused until he realized what she was saying. "You ran away?" He asked her.
Nodding her head, Helga started to tell her story. "That summer, I went to the youth center a lot and I was in a production they were putting on. Remember the one that I put on about the food groups?" She said the last trying to lighten the mood but by the intent look on Arnold's face, she could tell it didn't work. Continuing she said, "It was really important to me and I wanted my parents to be there. I begged them to come and I left reminders all over the house. Opening night came and they were nowhere to be seen. When I got home, I asked them why they didn't show and Bob said that they had more important things to do than go see me in the play. Olga called so they spent four hours talking to her."
"I'm sorry Helga." Arnold said. He knew, just like everyone, that Helga had had neglectful parents. Half the time Mr. Pataki couldn't even remember Helga's name, and the other half he was only concerned about his beeper store. He always thought that they cared about her, they just never showed it like they did with Olga. Apparently, them missing her play was the straw that broke the camel's back.
He watched her stare off into space, and it seemed to Arnold, that she wasn't in the classroom anymore. "It wasn't hard to leave, and I knew that it would take awhile for them to realize that I left, if they ever did at all. I left them a note on my bed saying 'I'm leaving.' That was all. Later the night, I walked right out of the front door. Miriam was passed out in the kitchen next to the blender, and Bob was asleep in front of the TV."
"How long did it take them to realize that you were gone?" Arnold asked her.
Helga shrugged he shoulders. "Two days. I think that Bob had some important dinner with cell phone dealers that he wanted me to go to. He went to my room and found the note. He called Phoebe, but she hadn't seen me since the day before the play. After telling her that I probably just went to the store and didn't tell anyone, they went to the police and putting in a missing person report."
"Then why wasn't it on the news that you were missing?' Arnold asked her. Arnold watched the news everyday, and he never seen anything about her being missing.
"The police decided not to say anything to the media. Since Bob's company is so big now with cell phones and every other electronic, they said that if someone found me, they might have tried to hold me for ransom, so I was safer without anyone knowing. They found me four days later. I was asleep on a park bench when two cops saw me. They brought me back to town and to the station. When my mom and dad saw me, they we hugged me and cried and I went ballistic. It was like everything had built up and came pouring out at one time. I yelled why should they care now, when they never did. They never paid attention to me, Miriam was drunk all the time and all Bob cared about was Olga and his business. I told them that if I had to go back, I would just leave again. I don't remember what else I said, but apparently the cops were listening, because they said I had to be put in foster care pending an investigation. After a few weeks of counseling and being in a foster home I decided to come back."
"I'm so sorry Helga." Arnold told her. He had no idea that she had to go threw all of that. And she didn't say anything about it. Arnold knew that it must have been very hard for her to have to do that all by herself. "If I had any idea I would-" He was cut off by her shaking her head.
"You can't solve every problem in the world Football Head." She said smiling. "But thank you anyway." Getting up from the desk, she turned to the door. "Come on. It's to serious in here now. Let's go to the playground." Knowing that he still wanted to talk about what she had just told him, Helga grabbed his hand and dragged him from the desk and the classroom.
After getting to the playground, Helga climbed up the monkey bars and sat at the top. Looking down at Arnold, she said, "Can you believe that it's almost been ten years since we were here. It seems like we were here yesterday, but a long time ago at the same time. You know what I mean?"
Arnold nodded his head as he climbed up the monkey bars and sat down next to her. "I know." Pointing to the street, he said, "I remember when I broke Eugene's bike." They talked and laughed about memories for awhile until Arnold said, "Remember when we tried to make Lila jealous by thinking that we were going out?"
Of course I remember it. Helga thought. It took everything in me to wait until you couldn't see me to pass out from pure happiness. Laughing instead, she answered. "Yeah I remember. It didn't try out the way we planned though." Arnold laughed even harder at the comment. "Arnie ended up getting a crush on you and following you around until he left."
He laughed even harder at the glare she gave him and didn't stop until she pushed his arm with her own. "That's not funny." She said hotly. "You didn't have to listen to him name the ingredients on every wrapper he was able to get his hands on." She gave a shudder at the memory that renewed Arnold's laughter.
"We could have been cousins Helga." Arnold told her. She would have liked to be his wife more, but she kept that to herself. The conversation dwindled as they each were drawn into their own thoughts.
Arnold kept replaying the talk he had with Gerald in his head. He knew that he liked Helga more than a friend. Just how much more he didn't want to think about just yet. But he wasn't sure how to bring up if she liked him back or not into the conversation. If only she gave a sign of it-
He stopped short when a memory came flooding back. She did gave him a sign once. But he hadn't thought about it in years. The day on the rooftop when he found out that she was Deep Voice. She had said a whole bunch of things that had freaked Arnold out, she even tried to kiss him if he remembered right. But after they had stopped Scheck, she said it was a spur of the moment thing and she didn't mean. Arnold had put it out of his mind shortly after that.
But what if it wasn't just 'spur of the moment' like she said? Gerald did say that she liked him for years. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it until he found out the truth. Deciding that there was no time like the present, he said, "Do you remember Scheck?"
"Good Lord." Helga said. "I haven't thought about that for a long time. How long did he get in prison?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Arnold said, "Twenty to thirty I think, can't really remember. I didn't think that me and Gerald were going to make it. You helped us a lot you know."
Helga darted her gaze away from him and shrugged her shoulders. "The money was wonderful, but what difference would it have made if I didn't have my friends or my old neighborhood?" She knew one of the main reasons she decided to help Arnold was because she knew if she didn't, she wouldn't see him again. All the money in the world wouldn't have made up for that. "It was the right thing to do." She continued.
"Well," Arnold said. "You kept surprising me that day." Before Helga could think about it, she said, "How?" Then she realized what he was talking about. The Confession. It was even capitalized in her head. It had taken her months to convince herself that he didn't believe her. And she had hoped that he had forgotten about it. But apparently not.
"Oh, I don't know." Arnold said casually. "Maybe since you said that you were in love with me, had a shrine of me, wrote poetry about me, and a bunch of other things that pretty much meant that you liked me, when I thought you hated me."
She knew it was coming, knew that one day he might actually think back on their childhood and start to question. Helga had always hoped that she would be on another continent when he did though. Now she had to choose between lying or telling the truth. Neither one sounded appealing.
"I never hated you Arnold." She said, attempting to ignore the whole subject. She had to change the subject. Now. Before he could answer, she said, "How are things with you and Lila?" She could tell by the look on his face that she had completely surprised him with the change of subject.
"What do you mean 'how are things?' We broke up last school year. We're still friends, but we don't talk much anymore." Arnold said. Even though Helga knew all that, it still surprised her how nonchalant he was about the situation. It wasn't a secret that Lila had liked Arnie the moment she met him. Whenever he would visit, she would always find a way to be around. The year before, Arnie had visited for spring break. Helga didn't see him because she went out of town to visit a cousin of hers. But she was told that if Arnie and Arnold were somewhere, then so was Lila.
When spring break ended, that was when Lila started to date Arnold. Helga had always suspected that Lila only did it because she thought that she was getting Arnie in a way. It made Helga want to kill Lila, but she didn't say anything about the subject. She had a feeling that Arnold knew it too, but was still crazy over her so it probably didn't matter to him. But something wasn't right in paradise, because after only two months, they broke up. It made Helga want to jump for joy and cry at the same time. She was beyond ecstatic that he wasn't with her anymore, but she knew that they break up hurt him too.
"Actually," She heard him say, drawing her out of her thinking. "I haven't really thought about Lila much since…" His voice trailed off, making her look at him. He was staring directly into her eyes. It made her heart race and want to fidget, but she was able to get out, "Since when?" Was it her imagination, or was his face closer to hers than it was a few seconds ago?
"Since I started to be around you. I really haven't given Lila much thought since the day that you got hit in the head."
"Oh." She said. "Glad to be of service. I'm ever so happy that I can help." She said laughing a little nervously as she mocked Lila. It was time to leave. Things were getting way to serious way too. Opening her mouth to make her departure, she was cut off when Arnold stopped her with a serious look on his face and said, "Helga, if I ask you a question, will you promise to tell the truth?"
He sounded so serious that Helga knew it was important. Nodding, she said, "Yeah, I promise."
Turning to face her as best as he could on the monkey bars, he said, "Have you ever liked me? From when we were younger to now?" Helga knew it was the moment of truth. She also knew what she had to say.
Opening her mouth, she said, "No. I've never liked you." She was able to see disappointment all over his face. Then she watched him turn red. "Oh, well…Uhh…sorry I asked. It getting late, I think I should get going."
Grabbing his arm, she said, "Wait. I wasn't finished. I said that I've never liked you, because…" Taking a deep breath, she continued. "I've never liked you, because I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you when we were in pre-k. You stole my heart with an umbrella. I was mean to you for all those years because I didn't want anyone to find out just how crazy I was over you. All that stuff I said when you found out I was Deep Voice was true. I have a closet full of boxes, full of notebooks, that are full of poetry about you. The locket I dropped down the sewer, it was my locket that had your picture in it. That's why I risked rats to get it. Even the shrine is true. I don't have that any more though. One was made from bubblegum, one with a football for your head, and another one a watermelon."
She wasn't looking at him. She wouldn't be able to take the look of horror that was bound to be on his face. Taking another breath, she started again. "I can't even begin to name half the crazy things I did because of you. I convinced Lila to give me the part in Romeo and Juliet just so I could kiss you. I even faked being your pen pal Cecil just to go on a date with you. And that isn't even half as bad as some of the other things I've done when you're concerned. So to answer your question, no, I've never liked you."
Sighing deeply, she looked over at Arnold, who's eyes were big and round. Opening his mouth, all he was able to say was, "Oh…well…" Helga knew this would happen. What was happening was the exact reason why she knew that she should have taken it to her grave.
"I have to go." She said, as she scrambled down the bars. Wiping at her stinging eyes, she made her way to the school's main entrance before she heard Arnold calling her name. Moving even faster, she made it to the bottom of the steps before he caught her arm. "Helga would you wait?" Arnold told her.
"Wait for what?" She asked as she jerked her arm out of his hand. "For you to let me down easy? That you don't like-like me as Lila would put it? Thanks, but I'll pass." Moving away from him, she was stopped as he stepped in front of her.
"I never said I wanted to let you down-" He stopped when she tried to dodge in front of him. "Easy." He finished when she stopped trying to get away. "Can we just talk about this?" He asked her.
"So I can get stalking charges brought up? That's alright." She said as she tried to move pass him again.
Making a sound of aggravation, he said, "If you try to leave again, I'm going to throw up in the truck of my car and drive to some where deserted."
That froze Helga. Looking him up and down, she said, "You have to get me in the truck first."
Laughing, he said, "I'm an athlete, remember? I can easily pick you up and put you in the truck."
Throwing her hands up, she said, "Fine!" Going to the top stair, she sat down. "Talk." Was all she said as she looked at him.
"You could have let me answer before you started running away." He told her.
She gave him a look of disbelief. "You didn't need to. Your face said it all. You were shocked and horrified."
Shaking his head, he disagreed. "Shocked, yes. But not horrified."
"Please Arnold. You looked like you were ready to head for the hills."
Sighing, Arnold leaned against the concrete railing. "Well excuse me for taking a few seconds to get over the shock that you've loved me since we were three. That doesn't happen everyday you know."
Before she could answer, he walked up the stairs and sat down next to her. "Yes, it was a shock. The locket and poetry is sweet, but the shrine is kind of weird. But none of that matters when it comes down to the fact that you loved me. And still do, if I heard right."
"None of anything matters if you don't care back." She said to him.
"Who said I didn't care?" He asked her.
Freezing she turned to him, and looked at him for a long time. Finally, she said, "If you expect me to believe you if you say that you love me, then you're crazy."
"I'm not going to lie Helga." He said honestly. "I don't love you." He was cut off from saying anything else by Helga standing up.
"Well if you'll excuse me, I think that I'll go find a rock to crawl under for a few years." She said and made to go down the stairs.
Pulling her arm, he made her sit down next to him. "If you can let me finish?" He said. When no reply came from her, he started again. "I said I didn't love you, yet. That doesn't mean I couldn't or wouldn't ever love you. But I think that I'm already halfway there as it is."
"I don't believe you." she said not looking at him.
"Why not?" He asked offended.
"You said that you didn't think about Lila when we're together. How am I supposed to know that I'm not a rebound. That you're just saying this to get over-" She was cut off when his lips met hers.
Even after all the other times she kissed him, it had never really been a real kiss between them but this time it was different, this was they're first real kiss. She knew that she wouldn't think about any other kiss again. That was the last coherent thought she had as she kissed him back. When Arnold pulled back from the kiss, she was barely able to understand him as he said, "Does that seem like I was trying to get over Lila?" Before she could answer, he kissed her again.
It was Helga who pulled away from the kiss this time. Looking at her, Arnold said, "What's wrong?"
"Pinch me." Was all she said.
"What?"
"Pinch me. If it turns out this was just a dream, I'll never get over it." Smiling, Arnold took two of his fingers and pinched her lightly.
"There." He said "Satisfied?"
"Not really." She said, as she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now I am." Then she pulled him into another kiss.
Alright, I didn't really like how this ended because to me there was just something missing, but I wanted it to be realalistic. Arnold only found out that he had feelings or Helga a short time ago. For him to be in love with her already wouldnt have been real. And the fact that I honestly think that any normal person would have run for the hills if they were told that. As much as I love the show, I've realized since I'm older that Helga is really crazy. Not my funny friend crazy but the kind of crazy that mean she should be put in a psych ward. She's still my favorite character though. And with Helga running away, for her to just suddenly get along with her parents wasn't real either, thats why thats in there.
Well I hope that you liked my Hey Arnold! fic. reviews are very much vauled.
kialajaray