A/N: Again. Twilight not mine.

I spun the steering wheel around, perhaps a little viciously. The rear of the car began to fishtail on the gravel, and I could feel a bitter smile creeping onto my face. The sounds the bits of rock made as they flew into the surrounding trees and knocked against the panels of my Volvo were oddly satisfying. I waited to correct the car's course until the last minute, just to see if I could still time my actions correctly.

Humans are allowed to do this sort of stupid thing for the thrill, so why shouldn't a vampire get the same privilege?

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I felt guilty. Bella, my own dear Bella, has been thrill-seeking all summer during my absence.

I couldn't help but wince at the thought of what might have happened to her. Motorcycles, cliff-jumping, and werewolves! She courted death the way that no other mortal in all of my acquaintance had!

And all to hear the sound of my voice. I supposed I had to be comforted by the idea that Alice hadn't seen a future with a mentally unbalanced Bella in it.

I ran one hand through my hair, in the same manner that always made Bella ask what I was thinking. I probably told her as much of the truth as she told me.

Again, that pang of guilt as I drove up between the ancient cedars and watched the ghostly pale façade of my home appear from amid the green.

I remembered how it felt to have Aro take my hand and rifle through every memory in my brain. I had seen again my own eyes, stained crimson, in the mirror, watched myself stalk down dark alleyways, relived my own personal hell.

Is that what I did to people? Was I really any different? I was able to live my life privately, but no one else around me was. Except Bella. Didn't I owe her privacy?

I owed her my life, as well as my existence. She was the only thing that had prevented me from destroying myself, and she was what made this state of being life.

I had never known exactly how dead I was until I had felt the soft warmth of her, heard the rich rhythm of her breath, and come to know the depths of her emotions.

I had been dead to the world in more ways than one. My heart didn't beat, that was true, but I was dead emotionally too. The only attachments I had been capable of forming were with my family.

Bella brought me into a whole new world.

I stopped the car as I reached the outbuilding it was normally stored in, slid out of the seat, and plodded towards the house with a heavy tread.

As I entered the house, I noticed that it seemed oddly empty. Shivering echoes ran up and down the walls as the structure creaked in a high wind. Everyone else must have gone out hunting.

I walked across to the dais my piano sat on, flipping the lights as I went. A house like this shouldn't be kept in the dark.

I ran a hand across the rich mahogany top of my instrument, then lifted the lid, settled it onto an upraised stand. Taking a seat at the piano bench, I stared out the window. A storm was brewing. My hands seemed to move of their own volition, caressing the ivory keys gently.

Silence hung in the air like a thick gauze curtain. With a stroke of a key, I parted it, let it give way to the beauties of music. Melancholy chords poured forth, mingled with the fabric of whatever soul I had left as the tearful rain splashed against the world outside.