She stared at him. "What are you talking about? What the hell are you talking about?"

He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I really don't know how to tell you this. I know that if someone told me this I would …I don't know what I would do but I know I would be completely insane over it. But I guess I should just tell you." He rested his hands on the biobed near her hips. "After the twins were born, you developed an infection. The Doctor thinks now that something about the planet exacerbated it. At the time, it was completely out of control. Nothing I did helped. I couldn't stop it, and I couldn't keep you alive. You died three days after the twins were born."

She stared at him. "Well…then explain what I'm doing here now."

Chakotay sighed. "Kathryn, I couldn't bury you. I didn't have the heart to. You were really and truly dead, but I couldn't accept it. And while you were dying, I couldn't accept that you were going to die. I left for a little while when you were sleeping; when I knew that the chances of you living were too slim to have any hope. I set up the stasis chamber you woke up in when we first came to New Earth, and when you died, I placed you in there, to preserve your body. I couldn't bear the thought of putting you in the ground, for your body to be…" he blinked back a new onslaught of tears. "I needed to be able to see you. I needed for the children to have a tangible link to their mother."

Kathryn's face had grown pale. She stared up at him in disbelief. "I was really dead?" she whispered. "Heart stopped, everything?"

"Yes. When I placed you in the stasis unit, I knew you were dead, and I had no hope of you ever waking up again."

"Then how…"

"The Doctor thinks there was something in the atmosphere preserving your brain activity longer than usual. We knew there were unusual properties in the air to begin with, but I never dreamed…But, when they arrived here, as soon as he scanned you he had you transferred to see if they could resuscitate you. Your brain activity was as though you had never died, not really."

"I can't believe this." She stared at a point above his head. "This is insane."

"It is. There was a problem, though. They came back with a cure for us, but for some reason, once he got your heart started again, your body was rejecting the cure. You were in a coma. We didn't think you were going to make it. After all, it took Federation scientists years to come up with this cure. He couldn't make a new one in the few hours he had before you died again." Chakotay grinned. "But then he got the idea to make a vaccine with the blood form the children. Can you believe it? The children's blood saved your life."

Kathryn turned her head sharply to look into his eyes. "Children?" she whispered harshly. "Years to make a cure? How long was I dead? What year is it? How old are the twins?"

Chakotay's heart sank at the terrified look in her eyes. He gripped her hand. "Kathryn, the twins are five years old. You were in stasis for five years."

Her mouth dropped open. "Five years? Five years?"

"Yes. Voyager just contacted me a few days ago. They came back for us, Kathryn."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "Five years." She whispered. "My babies aren't even babies anymore."

"No, no they're not." He smoothed back her hair. "But they are beautiful children, who I know will make you proud."

She was staring at the ceiling again. "Tell me about them."

"Well, I named our son Edward." Her eyes lit up briefly. "He looks a lot like me, with dark hair and dark eyes. But he has your scientific nature, Kathryn. He always wants to know how things work, but he never asks me for help. He figures it out on his own. I can't tell you how many things he's taken apart and put back together in the last year or so. He's also very quiet. He didn't start talking until he was three, but I think that's mostly because his sister did all the talking for him."

"His sister." She squeaked out, closing her eyes as tears poured down her face.

"Yes." He wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I name her Kathryn." Kathryn's tears came faster at that. "She looks exactly like you. Her eyes match yours exactly. Her skin is a bit darker – I'd say they both have skin tones somewhere in between ours – and her hair is mostly dark brown with a hint of red in it, but her face is exactly yours. She's a fireball, Kathryn. She hasn't shut up for years," he chuckled. "And while Edward is content to figure things out on his own, Kathryn must ask me a million questions a day. 'What does this do, Daddy? Why is this like this, Daddy?' Sometimes she absolutely exhausts me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And they're both so smart, Kathryn." His voice was choked now. "They're so smart. And they love to visit you. Kathryn always said that you were her princess in your glass coffin, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty."

"You told them my fairy tales." She said softly.

"Of course." He sat down again and wrapped her hands in his. "Do you want to meet them, Kathryn?"

She was quiet for a moment. "Not just said." She said evenly. "I need time…time to adjust to this. I fell asleep with two newborn babies, Chakotay. I can't resolve the fact that they're two children now, right at this moment. I need to absorb this."

He was disappointed, but he didn't show it. "I understand. But I need to tell them that you're alive. They don't know about any of this. In the meantime…" he grinned. "Would you like to visit with your mother?"

Her mouth dropped open. "My mother's here?"

"Yes. She's an amazing woman, Kathryn. Despite her grief at your death, she was immediately took charge of Kathryn and Edward and has barely left their sides since. But I can go get her and she can come see you, if you'd like."

"Yes, I would like that. And then you can tell…the children. And ask that they let me have a little while before meeting them."

He knew the children would hate that, but he just nodded. "Would you like me to get Gretchen now?"

"Yes, please." She said. Then she smiled briefly. "I just…I need some time, Chakotay. This is a huge blow to me. I went to sleep five years ago, and everything was so different. I hope you can understand."

"Of course I do. This is a huge shock to you. I'll got get your mother, and then I think you should probably rest for a little while. And I'll need to comfort the kids. This is going to be a shock to them, too."

"Yes." She said neutrally. "I'll see you later, then?"

"Of course." He planted a kiss on her forehead, and she squeezed his hand. He turned to go, but she called his name. "Yes?" he asked with a smile.

She gave him that crooked little half smile he had always loved. "I'm wondering…If this is Voyager, then who's the Captain? And the First Officer?"

"Tuvok is the Captain." Then he grinned. "And Tom Paris is his First Officer."

Kathryn groaned. "I'm surprised the ship is in one piece."

He spoke to the Doctor briefly before he left, and they both agreed that Kathryn should take her time acclimating herself to this new life. The Doctor said that while Chakotay ran to get Gretchen, he was going to do additional tests to make sure everything really was going to be fine. But as Chakotay walked back to his quarters, he didn't feel reassured. Everything was not fine. The Kathryn he knew would have wanted to move Heaven and Earth to see the children that had waited so long for. She had loved those babies. She had loved them as they moved around in her womb, turning somersaults and making her laugh with their kicking and punching. "I'm surprised I don't have bruises all over my stomach," she had laughed, "The way they kick in there!" But she hadn't cared. She loved feeling them grow, and all she had wanted was to hold them in her arms. Despite how uncomfortable she had been being pregnant with twins, and despite her grouchy moods, she had loved them, maybe more than she had loved him.

He leaned against a bulkhead, bringing his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose. His reunion with Kathryn hadn't gone the way he expected. He didn't feel the way he should have, and she hadn't acted the way he felt she would. She should have been demanding to see her children, no matter how old they were. For that matter, she should have been demanding to leave Sickbay, and to be able to make her way to the bridge and start giving orders again, no matter whose ship it was now. She had been surprisingly recalcitrant, and aside from asking who was in charge of Voyager now, she hadn't wanted any other information on the ship or the crew. And once he had finished telling her about the children, her emotions seemed to shut off, and she hadn't asked any more about them. Granted, she definitely needed rest, and time to adjust. Yes, he thought to himself. That was it. That was all she needed.

But still, he couldn't help but remember the look in her eyes as she asked for time. As she told him, more or less, that she didn't want to meet her children just yet. That look hadn't been Kathryn.

Had something happened? Had that part of her that was Kathryn died and not been able to come back, and this was just a shell of her?

Had he saved Kathryn's body, only to lose her soul?

TBC

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