Disclaimer: See heading of the nineteen previous chapters.
A/N: I finally completed this chapter. It took me quite awhile to find the time to type, and then I had to figure out how "happy Edward" works. The end product is a bit shorter than some recent chapters, and sorry about that, but I finished it! It probably needs some serious editing, so let me know your opinions. Since the email notification system thingy seems to be down again, I'll say this now: to all of you who have reviewed, will review, and just like to be silent readers, thank you very much. I really appreciate it and love to hear from you.
Word of the day: Exultant-- from latin words meaning "to leap" and "intense"-- rejoicing
Chapter Twenty—Exultant
The moment my feet touched the ground, I was off, flying through the dim light. The landscape watered and blurred in my peripheral vision, a muddy green watercolor painting left out in the rain. Lightning flashed across the sky, heralding the tremendous crack of thunder that split the vaults of the heavens. A bit of sunlight gleamed weakly through a small gap in the clouds: it painted the scenery with a wash of diluted gold that shone oddly in this half-twilight of morning.
I had trouble keeping my thoughts together. Every time that they conglomerated into a cohesive mass they would be scattered by the memory of her scent, the texture of her tousled hair, the bright life shining in her eyes. With a smile, I remembered the petulant expression on her face when I had been forced to leave: the same look had appeared that first weekend that we had spent in the meadow clearing when I had refused to let her drive and she had asked if her presence had affected me at all. I still remembered my answer: "Regardless, I have better reflexes." Sometimes I found it amazing that I was even able to still speak around her, nevertheless keep my head. My tongue still thrilled to speak the words "I love you," my ears rejoiced to hear those words repeated back to me and something that I could only call my undead-dead heart throbbed in time with her pulse without ever beating once. Overlaying it all, like the pure and untainted light of the sun, was joy: joy to exist, to love, and to be able to, for a time, put aside the thirst of the clamoring beast.
I felt like I was skimming the heavens, lightning crackling above me in the sky, the earth flying past below. Somehow I had never felt so very alive, so vibrantly happy merely to exist. No questioning of the state of my soul, no pondering of eternal truths… this was enough for now. Everything else could be put aside, for a time, for this was our time…
The house, my home, appeared in my gaze almost too quickly, ending a brief moment of reflection, but a grin split my face anyways. In truth, I had missed my family desperately, but the pain had been overshadowed by the separation that I had enforced from Bella. But now, at this moment, I had all that was good in the world, all that was dear to me, within the city limits of a single town.
I raced to the door, flinging it open with a careless gesture only restrained by the need to not rip it from its hinges. I could hear the laughter inside, a fount of bubbling mirth. Alice looked up at me, her eyes sparkling brightly and an impudent smirk curving across her face. Her glance fell to the others, standing around the kitchen table, and one graceful hand extended towards them: Esme laughed as Emmett dug in his pocket, growling as he handed over a crisp banknote along with the words: "So you're right. Again. About everything, down to the rainwater soaking the floor, and him being completely oblivious." Jasper laughed, pulling his dainty wife close to his side. "I never know why anyone ever even bothers betting against you," he murmured, while Rosalie needled Emmett for his loss. Carlisle and Esme smiled: I merely retrieved a dishtowel from the kitchen, mopping up the water that I hadn't even noticed dripping off of me. In every single mind I could feel the radiating happiness, the essence of my family. How could I have ever left them? I knew why I had left them, of course: I couldn't comprehend how I had survived with out them, even if I was the odd man out. I was still family.
Rosalie must have noticed the grin on my face, for she finally turned to me and said, in her usual, incredibly tactful way, "You are positively manic-depressive, Edward."
I detected a note of hesitancy in her voice and in her mind, but there was still a small smile on her face. And I wasn't about to ruin the mood. For Bella's sake, I could forgive her.
"And it's all your fault," I rejoined, a full fledged smile on my face. "If not for you, I'd still be in some god-forsaken hovel in South America."
She looked a little startled at that. In fact, they all were quite surprised. Perhaps they were not yet used to see me out from a black and forbidding mood. Emmett was the first to recover, even though he still had one arm laced protectively around Rosalie's waist. He grinned up at me, a comrades-in-arms expression. The same look reflected on Jasper's features: my brothers, no matter what else they, or I, were. I heard the thought go skimming through Emmett's brain the moment it left his mouth, laden with a challenge: "If you're feeling so good, then, are you up for a game?"
"Name it," I shot back, feeling something beyond euphoric. Perhaps even…exultant. Yes, somehow that was fitting.
Exultant.