Disclaimer: I don't own the Alex Rider series

I turned over and sighed again for what felt like the eighth time that night.

"What's wrong?" asked John sleepily, wrapping his arms around me. He made me feel so safe. But I felt dirty now. I'd taken to spending long periods of time in the bath trying to wash away the feeling of uncleanness. It had been two weeks since I'd taken the test. It was time to tell him.

"John, darling I-I'm late this month" I said quietly. I felt his back stiffen and he drew in a sharp breath.

"I-I think our family is about to begin" I said softly.

I heard John exhale and I turned over to face him. He kissed me gently on the cheek and softly nipped my ear.

I nuzzled into his neck, his calm breathing soothing me so I felt I could fall asleep for the first time in the last two weeks.

"I love you Helen" he said breathily.

I nodded and closed my eyes, tired of thinking, tired of feeling, tired of knowing.

Too tired to think of the lies I'd just told.

I just fell into sleep and it welcomed me with open arms.

"Are you sure you're comfortable?" asked John anxiously.

I frowned. I loved him very, very much but his constant adjusting of my pillows was starting to irritate me.

"I'm fine" I muttered through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Helen, did I mention that Yassen said he'd come over and stay the next few days? Yeah, he wanted to be here for the birth, said he wanted to come see you and be there when his godson's born. I said 'of course'. I mean, we are making him the godfather, right?" he said, smiling at me.

I swore that just for a minute, my heart stopped. But I couldn't say Yassen couldn't be there, could I? Unless I was clever about it... God, what had this turned me into?????

I chose my next words very carefully.

"Honey, I know you're really excited about the birth, I am too. And I know Yassen is one of your best friends, like a nephew, maybe closer. But having your best friend staring at my you-know-what while a little person is shooting out of it is not my idea of a good time" I said.

John smiled and cocked his head. God, he looked so good. He knew I'd never put my foot down on something like that.

"Fine" I said grumpily.

"The Rider charm wins again" he said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

I grinned back, tired.

"Not the Rider charm. The Rider puppy dog eyes" I teased.

He leaned in and kissed my neck, growling softly. I reached round and twiddled with the back of his hair.

There was a soft knock on the door and it swung open to reveal Yassen carrying a bouquet of lilies. That prick. John must have told him they were my favourite. Bastards, one and all. And John was always moaning about leaks in his line of work. Hypocrite!

"How is she doing?" he asked John quietly.

John pulled himself away from me and led Yassen into the corner to talk quietly.

I studied Yassen in that moment. He was wearing a black shirt, the top three buttons undone, black cargo pants and black boots. I trained down over him, to his feet. He was handsome. Very handsome. The way he had poise, it just increased his looks. I slowly moved my gaze up again and when I reached his face, I noticed he was smirking at me. Git.

He broke off talking to John and strolled over,

"How are you Helen?" he asked quietly as he leaned over to place the flowers on my bedside cabinet.

I smiled at him.

"Tired. Cranky. Frequently over emotional. Pregnant, I suppose" I said lightly.

John smiled at me and Yassen nodded seriously.

John ran a hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Tired?" asked Yassen.

John nodded wearily.

"I haven't slept in 96 hours, so yes, I guess I am tired" he said.

Yassen smiled sympathetically. He must have been in a good mood.

"Why don't you go get some coffee? I'll stay and keep Helen company" he said quietly.

John looked over at me and I coudn't not nod. If I didn't, John would be suspicious. Suspicion went hand in hand with his job.

I nodded and John smiled, turning and leaving the room.

There was silence for a minute then Yassen padded stealthily over to me.

"You know, it kills me when I see you kiss him" he said quietly, sitting down on my bed.

I scowled.

"That night was a drunken mistake. The worst kind you can make. I don't love you Yassen" I said steadily.

He leaned in closer and my eyes were frozen on his lips. So hard but so soft.

"Really? Then why do I get the feeling that if I do this?", he said, reaching forward and pushing my fringe back, "You won't object?".

I shivered slightly, my eyes half closed. I felt his lips on mine and his tongue traced against the outline of my lips. I was about to open my mouth but I caught myself just in time.

"I'm pregnant Yassen. Pregnant. I'm married to your teacher. Does that mean absolutely nothing to you?" I said quietly.

"Not when you're having my baby", he whispered in my ear, his cool breath tickling me, "You know, at first I couldn't think why you'd have it. But now you are having it, I'm over the moon. I'm ecstatic. We're going to have a child together Helen. A piece of me and a piece of you. Two halves of the one whole. I thought about you, you know. Every single night when I was lying in my bed just resting, it was you running through my head. Your taste...your smell".

How on Earth did this man know how to push me like that?

"I'm hoping for a boy Helen. A son. If it is a boy, call him Alex. It's a nice name. And don't tell it about me. I just want to watch, not raise. I'm not exactly the nurturing type" he said quietly.

I didn't know what to say and he kept on talking.

"I never knew my father and look how I've turned out. A man the world loves to hate. But then again, I suppose our child would be better off without me. John will be a terrific father" he said quietly. I was barely able to hear him.

He leaned forward again and his lips brushed mine then he pulled away and sat back down, running his hand through his hair. He was about to say something when the door swung open and John strode in, hands in pockets.

"Machine wasn't working" he informed me with a smile. I smiled back and John came over, leaning in and kissing me gently. I felt his hand twirling my hair around and Yassen coughed loudly and conspicuously.

John pulled away, flushing, and I stroked his cheek.

The door opened again and the midwife came in, beaming. She was red cheeked with untidy blond hair and a matronly figure.

"Won't be long now...

So what did you think???? Worth reviewing (hint hint, nudge, nudge)