Disclaimer: I don't own the Alex Rider series.

Once again, props where props are deserved. Thank you to my brilliant beta Anonymous-chic.

I sat on the sofa of my hotel room, staring at the blank television screen. I'd been in the same position for the last four hours, thinking of nothing. For the first time in my life, it had all stopped. There was no tide of pressure being placed on me, the kind I felt in the middle of a job.

Helen. My Helen. John's Helen. Alex's Helen. Helen. So beautiful. So good. So funny, clever, and charming. She was just as persuasive as Rothman, in a kinder way that made me love her all the more. She was so pure.

I reached subconsciously out for her, my hands meeting the air with cold frustration.

I could still remember lying beside her the day before yesterday. Her touch, soft and feathery. Her voice, clear and beautiful. Her smell, clean and warm; just like her personality.

I got to my feet, ignoring the spasms of pain in my leg muscles, and made my way over to the mini bar, pulling out a large bottle of vodka and sitting back down on the sofa.

I pulled the top off, using my teeth, and took a swig, the foul drink stinging the back of my throat. That was what I had to avoid. Hurt. Feeling. Emotion. Drink would do that for the night.

I took another swig, and another, and then another still, the gulps getting longer and more frequent. I could feel tears running down my cheeks, tears of hurt and pain and sorrow.

I went to take another swig and nothing but a few drops trickled out.

I hauled myself onto my feet and stumbled back over to the mini bar, pulling out a second bottle of vodka and walking unsteadily into my room again pulling the cap with my teeth and guzzling greedily this time, eager for the numbness the drink would give me.

I ran through the second bottle quicker than the first and after throwing it in the general direction of the bin, I lay down on my bed, goal accomplished. I could feel nothing. And I found the feeling quite to my liking. In fact, I could live my life like this. Become removed from myself. Freeze others out. And not with drink. I could do it quite easily if I wanted to. And I did. I wanted nothing more than for that numbness to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Well, actually, I wanted Helen more, but she was gone now, like John. I'd miss John. He was a good teacher and an even better friend. But I didn't want to think of them tonight.

I wanted to think of nothing, to be free for once.

I lay back on my bed, a double bed that felt so empty without her. I closed my eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep and then I was gone completely. At first, I could see nothing, but then, then she came back, my Helen. She was standing in front of me, a scowl painted on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, my voice light and happy.

She frowned at me.

"You're so selfish Yassen. Here you are in a three star hotel in Ealing while our son is staying in some bloody Child Care Home, alone and confused with no explanation about where his mum and dad have gone and why they haven't taken him too!" she said, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

I looked down at my feet, ashamed. She was the only one who could make me ashamed, the only one.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice truly apologetic.

I looked at her and her eyes softened. She smiled tenderly at me.

"Yassen, you don't have to say sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I love you. Just please, help Alex. He's your son. He doesn't even know John. Take him with you. To Russia, to France, to Germany anywhere just look after our son, please" she said gently.

"But MI6 will have a plan for him. Ian will be picking him up tomorrow. They would never let me take him with me," I said, voicing my doubts.

"Yassen, they have no say in other countries. Go somewhere where the two of you will be safe. Somewhere they can't touch you. Vanish, Yassen. Tell the care workers you're Ian, they'll believe you if you rush. Or just take Alex. I saw how much he loved you," she said quietly, smiling at me.

"I didn't want you to die!" I said, my voice breaking and tears rolling from my eyes, my numbness disappearing.

"I know Yassen. I know. Don't cry, it'll be alright. I'll wait for you," she said softly.

I leaned forward and kissed her gently. I could feel her lips on mine and I closed my eyes. I opened them again and blinked. I was back in bed.

I rolled over on my side, my head throbbing and looked at the bedside clock. It was only four in the morning.

I got up from bed and walked into the shower, turning the water on as hot and strong as possible, relishing the feeling of it pelting against me.

I got out five minutes later and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans, these ones ripped and a black shirt. I didn't bother with shaving, brushed my teeth then picked up my jacket and hurried from the room, my plan of action decided on. I would go and get Alex, get SCORPIA to fly us out to my home in Russia by helicopter. They owed me that much.

I checked out speedily and went down to the underground car-park, driving my car up to the surface and going as fast as the speed limit would allow, determined to get to the Child Care Home before Ian. There was only one that MI6 used in London anyway, one I knew very well having once kidnapped the orphaned daughter of the Polish ambassador.

I gunned the engine, grateful for the lack of traffic on the roads. I skidded round a corner and smirked. I was very close to the home; it was just around the corner, in fact.

I pulled over and took out my mobile phone, dialing the number I knew well from last time, hoping someone would answer.

"'Ello, Waterside Children's 'ome, Mark speaking. 'Ow can I be of assistance?" came a tired, disgruntled voice. Obviously he'd been sleeping on the job.

"Hello, this is Ian Rider. I'm supposed to be picking up my nephew, Alex, later on but I'm afraid something's come up and I'm going to have to pick him up in the next ten minutes. I don't have a lot of time, I have a flight to catch so I was wondering if you'd have him dressed and waiting at the gates with two adults looking after him. I'll be five minutes, tops," I said, not expecting him to agree but trying anyway.

"What? Yeah, sure" he said, hanging up.

I smiled slightly, not expecting it to be this easy. I'd have Alex in no time. I tilted my head back against the seat and pinched the bridge of my nose. I'd lie low in London for a few days, they wouldn't expect me to stay in England, and then I'd get the ferry over to Dublin, Ireland, and wait in the SCORPIA safe house until it was time to fly to mainland Europe. Then I'd get a chopper to my home in Russia, a manor, twenty miles from the nearest town.

I sat forward and pulled my Gloch out from under my car seat, quietly opening the door and slipping out. I peered around the corner and smiled. I could make out the shape of a child between two bigger shapes, adults.

I pulled out a silencer and screwed it onto my gun, carefully sticking to the shadow as I moved around the corner and I fired. I smiled again as soon as I hear two dull thuds and the shapes dropped to the ground.

I stealthily moved down the path and frowned. Something wasn't right. Why wasn't Alex yelling, crying, running back inside? I moved forward and looked down at Alex. He was a dummy. They must have figured out I wasn't Ian. I was about to move on, determined to get to Alex, when the soldiers got back on their feet. Bulletproof vests. Why hadn't I anticipated this?

I reached forward and grabbed one of them by the neck, twisting viciously. I heard it crack loudly and he fell to the floor, dead.

The other one stared at me, eyes petrified.

"What's your name?" I asked softly.

"D-D-David," he replied.

I turned to head up the drive and heard the click of a safety being removed. I spun around and grabbed David by the wrist, pulling. He gave a yelp of pain as his arm broke in three places.

"The Queen doesn't want any heroes tonight David. You can let me past into that building to reclaim what's mine or you can try and fight me, a fight you will lose," I said quietly.

David blinked once and nodded miserably.

"Shoot me. I won't be called a traitor," he said softly.

I sighed and pointed my gun at his face. Surprisingly, he did not flinch. I pulled the trigger and watched him sink to floor, convulsing in terror. It was lucky for him I'd flipped the safety.

He lay on the ground and looked up at me, swiftly fainting. I smirked to myself and walked up the path, safety off on my gun, ready for more soldiers. I looked around and noticed a pipe running up the side of the building. I grabbed onto it and slowly, inch by inch, lifting myself up the pipe. I reached a window and judged I was on the first floor.

I gritted my teeth and continued lifting myself up the pipe when I heard a nasty creaking. The metal was going to give.

Frowning, I moved faster and faster. Just as the pipe peeled away from the wall, screws whining in protest, I jumped, my fingers gripping onto the second floor window I'd been aiming for. I pulled myself up slightly and looked in the window. I could make out four soldiers in the room. MI6 really wanted Alex.

I dropped my head below the sill again and grunted softly, swinging myself up, violently crashing through the window and to the floor of the room. I fired four times, taking out all four.

I rolled to my feet and moved quickly from the room onto a corridor. It wasn't long. I kicked in the door on my left and found a store room. The one on my right a bathroom and my eyes rested one the door beside it.

I quickly lifted my foot and kicked it in, expecting shouts and gunfire. The room was empty. It was a trick!

I hurried down the stairs to the ground floor listening closely. All the children had been hidden somewhere. I looked around carefully, running my hands over the wall, listening when I stepped. I had only a few more minutes before MI6 sent someone in.

Then I heard it. The tell tale creak of hinges. Under my feet. I stared down at the crimson rug then walked off it, lifting it up and smirking slightly.

A trapdoor. I grabbed the heavy brass handle and tugged, lifting it up and swinging it fully open. I was greeted by eyes. Large, fearful eyes. Children were packed down there. A few adults were scattered amongst them but for the most part, children.

I wondered how I was going to find Alex.

"I'm looking for Alex Rider," I said quietly. I heard a quiet murmur run through the children and then heard a small gasp.

"Yassen!" called one of them quietly. Alex scrambled up out of the bunker-esque structure and I lifted him up by the waist. He wrapped his arms around the back of my neck and I frowned slightly, not that Alex could see.

Suddenly, uplighters shone through the window, nearly blinding me.

"Yassen, put the boy down and come out with your hands up!" called a voice through a megaphone, "We have you surrounded!".

Alex buried his head in my shoulder and I looked down at him.

"Alex, now's not the best time. I'm going to take you out of here, back to my car, and then we can talk, alright?" I said.

Alex nodded and I stared down at the other children, scanning them until I came across an adult.

"You," I said quietly, pointing at him, "Get up here".

He frowned slightly and pulled himself up and out. I grabbed him with my free arm and used him as a human shield, propelling him out the door.

"Don't shoot! For the love of god don't shoot!" he called. I pushed him in front of me and out the gate.

I came face to face with Alan Blunt.

"Yassen, let the boy go and we'll allow you to just walk away," he said quietly.

I shook my head and tensed. I pushed the human shield at Blunt and ran full pelt around the corner, jumping into my car, tossing Alex roughly onto the passenger seat. I gunned the engine and swerved around and headed the wrong way down a one way street, soldiers running after me trying to shoot out the tires.

I slid around a corner, the gearstick throbbing as I put it into sixth. I turned off into a shorter alley, sirens wailing behind me, much too close for comfort. I heard screeching as the wall scraped off the car doors and ignored it, pushing my foot down harder on the accelerator.

As I reached the end of the alley, a police car slid out blocking the way and I swerved wildly, scraping past, the car bumping me. I looked in the rear view mirror and frowned. They had a man leaning out the window loading his gun. They were going to try and shoot the tyres.

I looked at Alex, trying to calculate, and he stared back at me, clinging to his seat, terrified. Then, quite suddenly, I pulled the handbrake stopping abruptly, the other car smashing into mine. I had jolted them hard enough to gain a few seconds as I screeched away, startling a taxi driver who happened to be pulling out.

Houses and streets passed by in a blur, too quickly for me to do anything but avoid crashing into a wall.

Alex whimpered loudly and I frowned, taking my eyes of the road for a second to look at him.

"Alex, don't cry" I said, swerving dangerously to avoid a traffic island.

Alex sniffed loudly.

"Where're we going? Why'd you pick me up? I'm going to live with m'uncle" Alex mumbled, sleep betraying itself in his voice. I smirked slightly. In the middle of a knuckle biting chase he was still tired.

"I don't have time to explain. Now keep quiet while I'm driving little Alex, I need to concentrate" I told him. I turned my gaze back to the road, swinging a dangerous left and nearly losing control of the car.

I could still hear sirens but more distantly now. No doubt a helicopter was overhead trying to pick me up on the road. I saw a large sign advertising a shopping centre car park with spaces and I swerved into it, crashing through the barrier. Luckily, the security guard slept on, untroubled.

Alex cried loudly having bashed his head off the door and I ignored him, choosing instead to drive 120mph up a level of the over ground car park, skidding to a stop and pulling Alex from the car. I carried him as I sprinted down the stairs, jumping from landing to landing.

I reached the bottom and pushed through the doors, running into the 24hour Asda, sprinting through the menswear, past the groceries and pelting out the door, ignoring the strange looks I received.

I hurried down the rain soaked street and turned into an alley I recognized. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and thanked the layout of London. I was right outside the house of a man I'd been considering going to.

I looked up and down the street and then kicked open the door, walking in silently, Alex now whimpering softly. I walked slowly up the stairs and kicked open the door of the flat I was sure belonged to James.

Sure enough, he stood making a cup of coffee. As soon as he heard his door being kicked in he looked over at me, terrified.

"Yassen, I swear, I didn't know that the house had been renovated when I passed you the plan!" he babbled.

I scowled, remembering the job that he'd nearly ruined for me.

"James, I just need a place to stay for a few days. And the boy is staying with me as well" I told him coldly.

James nodded, blushing.

Alex squirmed in my arms and I set him down. He stared around the flat with a slight look of distaste on his face taking in the walls blackened with damp, the television that's screen had shattered and the mangy brown sofa that looked as though a dog had been chewing it for the last eight years. I trained my gaze around as well, remembering my last stay here.

There were two bedrooms, one facing East the other facing West, the doors on opposite sides of the living room/kitchen. The kitchen was filthy, rusting from lack of use. Takeaway pizza boxes lay scattered around the flat. If my memory served me right, both bedrooms were disgustingly smelly, filthy and infested with cockroaches. The bathroom. Where would I begin to describe it? Brown stains ran all over the walls. A steel bathtub stood inside, rusting and broken, the water having been switched off long ago. I noticed James had used bottled water to make his coffee. The toilet stank even from where I stood and I knew from past experience that the sink was populated by empty bottles of alcohol and used syringes.

Alex walked over to me and indicated for me to bend down. I crouched till I was at his eye level and he whispered in my ear.

"Yassen, I don't like it, it smells funny," he said quietly.

I nodded seriously and looked at James who was wearing that idiotic lopsided grin of his.

Alex turned around and stared at James, who in turn stared back at Alex. Then, with no warning whatsoever, James jumped forward, picking Alex up and slinging him over his shoulder, tossing him up and down in the air. Alex yelped and shrieked with laughter and I frowned, a headache coming on.

What had I gotten myself into?


Okay guys, that was fun, wasn't it? Any chance of a review????