MIRACLE
By Hydraa
This is the sequel to "Invalids". Rated R for adult content. No action in this one, it's more of an introspective piece.
---000---
It was still snowing. Rosette Christopher propped her chin on her hand and stared out the window, wondering if it would ever stop and let spring return. She grimaced, glaring at her reflection and the two little horns on her temples, poking up against the fabric of her headdress.
"Sister Rosette!" At the voice, her head snapped back around. The lecture hall was full, the other novices staring at her. A few were smiling. The old woman teaching the class didn't look amused at all though. "This is not a time for daydreaming," she snapped. "Return your attention to your studies!"
Rosette thought of making a reply, but just huffed out a breath and looked down at her book again. Bible studies. Hours and hours of bible studies, every day, even Saturday. She hated it. She understood the importance of what she was reading, she certainly did, but she hated to be cooped up. She glanced at the window again. Then again, it wasn't like anyone could go out there.
She looked at the clock. Two more hours to go. The other novices were deep in their reading and the discussion. They enjoyed the class, but then again, all of them wanted to be nuns. She… sort of did. Except for the whole temperance for life and poverty thing. And the celibacy. There was definitely no way she was going to swear to the celibacy. Not with the six feet of sexy demon lying in her bed waiting for her with his smouldering red eyes and tight little…
Rosette huffed out another breath. That was not a good direction to think on right now. Besides, it wasn't like she was actually getting any lately. Sister Kate thought she was. She thought Rosette was still dependent on Chrno's legions to survive, though thanks to the machines on Eden, she generated her own legions now. Kate didn't know that. If she had, Rosette was pretty sure that she wouldn't be allowed within ten feet of her oh-so-sinful demon lover.
Yes, Kate thought she was getting lots, thanks to Rosette bouncing on her bed whenever she thought the woman or one of her spies was in earshot and moaning loudly, with a few shrieks tossed in for interest's sake. Kate's imagination was getting more of a workout than she was though.
Chrno hadn't changed out of his boy form in almost two weeks. Rosette had been patient. He'd been badly hurt in the battles on Eden and against Aion, and she had ripped his horns out. He'd been pretty sick as a result as well. But he hadn't been running a fever for seven days and he was eating most everything she brought him. They'd even got the cottage fixed up enough that they could sleep out there without the wards from the Order weakening them both. But he wouldn't change, and he wouldn't touch her, and when she asked about it, he just said he wasn't feeling good.
Rosette was starting to feel positively pissy about the whole thing.
Maybe he was depressed. Sex should snap him out of that. Maybe he was still sick. Sex should get his blood flowing again. Maybe he was bored. Sex should… she blew out another breath, seeing where this line of thought was going. She was starting to miss the time he went into rut and couldn't get enough. Yeah, she'd been sore after awhile, but at least she got some. Crap, maybe this was a demon thing.
Could demons become impotent?
She was musing on that horrible thought when she realized the nun was yelling at her again. "What?" she snapped. "Can't you see I'm busy??"
It was the wrong thing to say.
---000---
She never got to sit down in Sister Kate's office. The chair looked comfortable. Sort of. Certainly better than standing there in front of her desk watching the woman try to get that one vein to settle down on her forehead.
"Sister Brenda says you weren't paying attention in class," she told her coldly.
Rosette tried not to fidget. "Oh, yes, well, just distracted today, Sister Kate. Sorry, it won't happen again." She beamed at her.
The nun's brow twitched. "Apparently you weren't paying attention yesterday, or the day before. You slept through morning prayers and you peeled a bag of potatoes into the bin and threw the scrapings into the soup pot."
"Oh, um, yes, well, um…"
"Are you feeling alright?" Kate asked. "Are you sleeping well? Are your… legions… all right?" She looked positively pained. "Chrno is servicing you as required?"
Rosette gaped at her and blushed. "Oh, yes, definitely. All the time!" She grinned again. Kate looked vaguely nauseous and she resisted the urge to glare at her. She was just jealous.
"Then what is the problem?"
"Um. I'm worried about my brother. And Azmaria." That was a good one. She hadn't tried that one in a while.
"Usually concern over your brother has you running off on your own and nearly getting killed," the nun pointed out.
"I just… don't know where to look." That was true. "I feel so helpless!" That was true as well. Damn, now she was both horny and depressed. Life sucked. Maybe she should try shaking that Las Vegas dress at him. He liked that dress.
Kate frowned, leaning back in her chair. "You've been through a lot," she said, reading Rosette didn't know what in her face. "A tremendous amount, all without a chance to take a break and reflect. Perhaps that's what you should do."
Rosette stared at her. "Huh?"
"I'm sending you on vacation, Rosette. Take a week off. Try not to blow anything up."
Rosette stared at her for another moment, her mouth hanging open. Then her brain caught up with the rest of her and she bolted out of the office before the nun could change her mind.
Kate sighed and went back to her paperwork, wondering if the girl would even get out of her bedroom.
---000---
Rosette sprinted across the snowy ground, uncaring of how much the Order's wards drained her. She was free, free as a bird, she didn't have to pray or nothing, no more potatoes, and she was going to get laid if she had to order Chrno to strip and hang on.
Cutting across a snow covered flower bed, she went though a wrought iron gate set in a wall and immediately the wards loosened their pull on her. She just ran faster, racing to a little cobbled cottage under a rather singed looking apple tree. The light was on inside and she could see smoke coming from the chimney. Chrno was there. Of course he was there, where else was he going to go? He better be naked…
Rosette crashed through the door and slammed it behind her, knocking a vase off a shelf with a crash. "I'm home!" she shrieked, stripping off her boots and scarf and heading for the bedroom. And here she thought she'd be stuck at the Order for hours yet.
She ran into the room with its brand new, still smelling of paint wall, and stopped. Chrno was sitting in the corner between the bed and the wall, still in boy form, his arms wrapped around his knees. He blinked up at her in surprise, his face wet with tears.
It was like getting hit in the head with a bucket of ice water, bucket first. "What's wrong?" she gasped plaintively, but he was scrubbing his eyes with his sleeve and squirreling out of his corner like nothing had happened.
"You're back early," he said brightly. "I w-wasn't expecting you. I'll make tea." He tried to hurry past her into the main room, but Rosette grabbed his arm. Suddenly, her own desire was the last thing in her mind.
"What's wrong?" she repeated.
He wouldn't even look at her. "Nothing." Pulling his arm free, he vanished towards the kitchen.
Rosette stared after him, completely baffled.
---000---
Chrno woke the morning Rosette found him the same way he had all week; hours before dawn and shaking from nightmares. He could still feel his claws tearing into the Elder, feel his spike tail stabbing again and again. He could smell the man's blood, taste it where it splattered over his face and mouth, and it kept shocking him awake, wanting to scream.
Instead he would lie awake and stare at the ceiling. For the first few days, he did that until dawn, growing more and more tired but unable to sleep again; after that he got up and went into the other room to distract himself from what was lying beside him.
Chrno turned his head, looking at the young woman in the bed with him. Rosette was lying on her back with her mouth wide open, snoring loudly and drooling. He stared at her in the dark with his demon eyes and saw again the photo the Elder had kept, of her lying like that, only he was… Chrno closed his eyes. He didn't want to see her that way. He didn't want to look at her and see that image, but it kept coming back, like a sickness inside him, making him want to vomit. He loved her so much; the Elder was dead, he'd killed him and he hated himself for it. He shouldn't still have to see her like that.
Not able to stay there, he slipped out of bed and padded into the other room, his long braid swinging against his naked back. He hadn't changed into his adult form since it happened. He knew Rosette wanted to be with him, but he was terrified of touching her and remembering, of losing control to the rage, or worse, losing desire. If she found out… she didn't need to know. He didn't know exactly what had happened from that one photograph, but his imagination was driving him mad. Whatever it was, it hadn't been innocent and it hadn't been his Rosette's fault
Chrno padded into the living room and turned on the light, not worried about waking her. Rosette could sleep through anything. Crossing to the old, overstuffed chair beside the window, he curled into it and grabbed his book. It was the only one in the cottage and Rosette didn't read it unless she was doing homework, but he'd been slogging his way through it every night for days. It took a lot of focus, to understand the words and the concepts both. He wasn't a very good reader at all and the small print made his eyes ache. It calmed his mind though, diverted his dark thoughts, and made him feel quieter inside. It didn't lance the infection he could feel in his soul, but it made it more bearable.
Chrno sighed and opened the bible to the page he'd marked the night before. Squinting at the tiny text, he started to read, his lips moving as he worked to sound out the unfamiliar words.
Before Rosette's alarm went off at dawn, he was back in the bed beside her, still unable to sleep but dozing, one arm draped over her.
---000---
After Rosette left for the Order and her duties, he wandered around the cottage, cleaning it. He was on light duty, his horns still bleeding in his demon form. He was okay as a boy, and he assumed as a man, but the blood in his true shape had them worried. It rather worried him. He'd bled insanely after the first pair were torn out, nearly dying from blood loss before Mary created the Contract to save his life. She hadn't told him, but he'd figured out later that he took most of her life force to heal himself that first time. There'd been a lot she hadn't told him; if he'd known the Contract would kill her, he would have refused it, if he could. Pandemonium had owned his mind since his hatching. Aion had slunk his way in over years, slowly drawing him away from her to join him. Mary had cut those ties, deliberately he thought now, breaking Aion's hold on him without fully taking over herself, though certainly he had done what she wanted. She just set him up for Rosette to come along with her candy and her pigtails and blow every bit of self determination right out of him. He'd been hers from the instant he saw her, and he wondered if Mary had known it would be that way.
If it was or if it wasn't, Rosette didn't have the energy reserves to heal him in one go, not from broken horns. It would take time, and until it did and they could recap the fragments that were left, he wasn't supposed to do anything strenuous. Rosette was afraid he'd get sick again. He didn't want to argue with her the point that he got sick because he went flying into the snow and came back soaking wet. That would lead to revelations he didn't want to make.
Thinking about it brought it all back and he almost dropped the plate he was washing. He killed the Elder, tore his limbs off and threw them across the room, sliced his throat open to where he could see bone…
Chrno bent over the sink, heaving. Why was he like this? He'd killed a thousand demons, torn them apart without thinking or worrying about it. Certainly without any regret. He'd helped Rosette kill dozens over the course of their career together. Why was this so different? He'd killed for Pandemonium, he'd killed for Aion, he would have killed for Mary if she hadn't died, and he killed for Rosette. He'd been known as Aion's sword for years. He was a demon, a destroyer. Why did this time matter so much?
Because every other time he'd killed, he'd been ordered to.
Chrno stumbled weeping across the cottage into the bedroom and crawled into the corner between the bed and the wall, wanting to get into the smallest, most defensive place he could. He'd never killed anyone before without being told to. He'd never even hurt anyone. Having that excuse, feeble as it was, left him with a feeling of blamelessness he didn't have anymore. He'd committed murder and he had no one to blame but himself.
He remembered the Elder. Not the pervert who spied on women and violated them so he could take pictures. He remembered the old man who let him sleep in his back room, who told him stories when he was up working late at night and Chrno couldn't sleep. He knew that the Elder was one of the ones who found him after Mary died and kept him from killing himself before he was locked in her tomb with her. He knew that the Elder got the blood he needed when he'd been impaled by that worm demon. He'd never said anything about any of it; it had just been there, something between them that had nothing to do with the Elder's attitude about women or his inability to see them as people.
Until Chrno killed him.
He didn't hear Rosette come in, sobbing his heart out over what he'd done. Then she was standing in the doorway staring at him and he saw her again in the photo and felt the rage and the guilt, and thought he would gag at his inability to reconcile them.
"What's wrong?" she gasped, her expression horrified.
Everything. Absolutely everything and he couldn't tell her. "You're back early," he said instead, trying to pretend nothing had happened, even as he scrubbed his face clean of tears. "I w-wasn't expecting you. I'll make tea." He hurried past her, but she grabbed his arm and he was afraid his heart would stop. He wasn't sure he could defy a direct order right now. She couldn't know. She couldn't know what had been done to her or what he was.
It wasn't direct. "What's wrong?" she asked again, more softly.
He was afraid to look at her. "Nothing," he managed and hurried out of the room. Crossing the living room, he saw the bible he'd been reading at night and leaned on it for a second, trying to catch his breath before hurrying into the kitchen and starting the tea with shaking hands.
---000---
Rosette went to see Remington. She couldn't think what else to do. Chrno dropped the tea pot and his voice started cracking while he was apologizing. She wanted to just demand he tell her what the problem was, but he was so obviously going to try and fight her over it. She'd never seen him look so miserable and he was very pale. She was afraid he'd get sick again if she forced it. Scared and confused, she went to see the only man she really trusted one hundred percent about the demon. Sister Kate she mostly trusted, but not when it came to Chrno. Not if it would start the woman looking at him sideways again.
Remington was taking confessions. Sighing, Rosette waited in line with a bunch of giggling novices who probably were more interested in the man they were confessing to than their own sins and finally got to see him shortly before she grew impatient enough to start gnawing on the upholstery.
The confessional was a small, claustrophobic room with just enough room for a chair and the grill into the place where Remington sat. Rosette didn't particularly like it, but she had to admit she always felt better after she confessed and got whatever crap was inside her out. Remington usually didn't hand out heavy penance either, unlike some of the other priests. A couple of them seemed to think she was damned to hell for some reason.
Rosette flopped down on the hard seat and waited for the grill to slide open. "Bless me Father for I have sinned," she said automatically and grabbed the edge of the grill, staring through it at the silhouette she could see on the other side. "Something's wrong with Chrno."
"Oh?" Remington said, nonplussed by her change in direction. "Is he feverish again?"
"No. I don't think so. Not unless being sick can make you cry." She bit her lip. "I went back early and found him crying in the bedroom. He's trying to pretend nothing's happened, but I can tell he's really upset."
"Did you ask him what the problem was?"
"Yes," she said slowly, "but he wouldn't tell me. I'm thinking of ordering him to, but I know he doesn't want to talk about it. What should I do?"
"Maybe you should respect his privacy," the priest suggested.
"But it's really freaking him out!" she protested. "He won't change out of his little boy form and he won't talk to me and we haven't had sex since we were on Eden!" At that, she realized her mistake. "Oops."
Remington chuckled. "So, are you telling me that you got more than just wings on Eden? I wondered if you still needed his legions now that you can change shape."
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Rosette felt like beating herself on the head for letting that slip. "You can't say nothing!" she protested. "This is the confessional! It's secret!"
He laughed easily. "Don't worry about me. We'll have to talk about it at some point, but not right now." She breathed a sigh of relief. "Do you have any idea what's bothering him?"
"No. He's just being silly."
"No one's emotions are silly, Rosette," he reminded her, but she just pouted. "When did he start this?"
"I dunno. When he got sick the other week. Not that this time should matter, he's always getting sick!"
"He's been through a lot. Even with his legions, its been hard on his body."
"I know," she murmured, looking down at her hands. The last year had been a lot rougher on him than her. She didn't like to think about how many times she'd nearly lost him.
"I'm having a thought," Remington said to her. "Just based on timings. Do you remember when Chrno was sharing a room with me? Before we got those wards up around your cottage to hide your astral signatures?"
She frowned. "Yeah. What about it?"
"Chrno was worried about you and told you he didn't want you to go after that demon without him. Do you remember what you said?"
She thought back. She mostly remembered yelling at Remington for not taking good enough care of him and a really boring lecture on lust. "Sort of."
"You told him to never question you again," he said. All of the laughter was gone from his voice now and she started to feel cold. "Had he ever stood up to you before?"
"No."
"So he stands up to you once and you threaten to feed him his wings if he ever did it again."
"I did not!"
"You did. I heard you. You made his place very clear to us both. I don't think you realize this, but Chrno was very upset by that."
The cold turned to ice. "But he couldn't go with me," she protested. "He was sick and that demon was after him. You saw how bad he was when I got back. He nearly died! He couldn't have gone outside!"
"Yes," Remington paused and she heard a regretful tone to his voice. "Chrno was far too ill to go outside for any reason. But you treated him like a slave."
"No!" she gasped. "I would never do that!"
"No?" He sighed. "I think it would be easy. Chrno likes to obey orders. He's comfortable that way. I think for him to try and give one is very significant and probably very hard for him to do, but you brushed it aside like it meant nothing. Your relationship is already horrendously unequal. I think he's hurting now because he's finally realized it. Don't forget, this is a demon who defied both Pandemonium and Aion for freedom. He gave himself to you, but there's a difference between giving something freely and having it taken. You took his freedom away from him, Rosette."
Rosette slouched on her chair, her hands pressed against her burning cheeks. Was he right? Was she as bad as Pandemonium and Aion? She couldn't be. She loved Chrno!
"The worst part of it for Chrno," he continued, relentlessly, "is unlike with them, he can't ever leave you. He's still dependant on your astral, isn't he? He'll die without it. He left Pandemonium and Aion when they abused him. If he leaves you, it'll be suicide for him. Now that you don't need his legions, he also knows that only he will die. Imagine what the thought of you getting tired of him must do to his self confidence."
Rosette whimpered, crying silently. Her poor Chrno, her poor, poor Chrno. How could she have been so awful to him? No wonder he didn't want her. She was terrible! "What do I do?" she wailed. She didn't want to leave him; she never wanted to leave him. She wanted to run over there and beg him to forgive her instead.
"I want you to pray," Remington told her, "and meditate. Clear your mind and your emotions. Then I want you to go to Chrno and apologize to him, but you have to mean it. Then ask him what he wants and listen. Remember always, in a true dominant/submissive relationship, it's the submissive that has all the real power, even though it seems he gave it all to you. If he actually tells you something, it must be important."
Rosette nodded slowly, sniffling. She hadn't expected anything like this. "I'm sorry, Father," she managed. "I've really sinned, haven't I?"
"Pride is a sin, Rosette, but it's not a fatal one. Go do your prayers. Don't let Chrno see you so upset. It'll only make him feel worse."
"Thank you," she murmured and opened the door, scrubbing her eyes with her sleeve as she went out, closing the door quietly behind her. She felt awful, but good at the same time. She'd make it up to Chrno and make him happy. He deserved to be happy after everything he'd done for her.
Rosette dug her battered old wooden rosary out of her pocket and headed determinedly for the church. She had some praying to do.
---000---
Rosette woke up in the middle of the night. Her mind was whirling a mile a minute, leaving her unable to sleep. She'd actually heard Chrno getting up a while ago and waited for him to return, but he didn't come back. Finally sitting up, she could see a light shining in the other room.
She hadn't talked to him yet. She'd spent the rest of the afternoon praying in the church, clearing her mind like Remington told her, and she'd seen he was right. She'd taken terrible advantage of someone who really couldn't fight back. He'd been staring at the fireplace when she got back though, and looked so worn out that she couldn't figure out how to bring it up. She'd made him dinner though and he'd been obviously stunned. They could live off astral without eating if they had to and she'd never cooked for him before. He barely ate any of it though and her worry deepened. If it kept up, she'd haul him back to the doctor, after asking politely.
Now though, she got up and padded quietly to the doorway, peering out. Chrno was curled up in the big armchair, one leg tucked under him and an arm draped over his head, playing with the end of his opposite ear. He did that sometimes when he was really thinking and usually didn't even realize he was doing it. She'd always thought it was adorable before. Now she was too worried to appreciate it. She was losing him; she could feel it.
He had a book open in his lap, she realized; her bible in fact, and he was apparently reading it, the toe on his free foot kicking back and forth. Reaching the end of his page, he turned it to the next and kept reading, his eyes moving back and forth very slowly.
Rosette leaned against the doorjamb and watched him for a while before she went into the room. Chrno realized she was there when she was only a few feet away and looked up like he was afraid she would yell at him. She could clearly see the tension come into his body. It made her want to weep.
She smiled gently instead. "What part are you reading?" she asked him softly, kneeling down beside him so she could see over the chair arm at the book. He dropped the hand he'd been using to play with his ear with and shifted a little so she could see more of the book.
"This middle part," he said softly, "where the messiah is going around blessing people and taking away their sin."
Rosette swallowed, wondering what he was trying to tell her. Actually, it seemed pretty obvious. "I always kind of liked that part," she told him just as quietly. "That you can do something really horrible and still be forgiven, as long as you truly regret it."
"Really?" he said, not looking at her and instead staring at the book. "That can happen for real?"
"Yes," she told him, leaning against the chair arm and uncaring of her bare knees on the hard floor. "It's called repenting. If someone really repents of what they've done, they can be forgiven it."
She was so close she saw him shiver. "How? They have him dunking people in the river here. I don't understand."
Rising up, she squirmed into the chair beside him, afraid he'd push her away. He let her though, squirming around until they were both squished in the big chair. His body was warm beside hers, but he didn't look at her, still staring at the book. She felt a pang and put an arm around him to stroke his ear. Once, she would have rubbed his temple where his horns would be in demon form, but with them still bleeding, she would only have caused him pain.
"It's called baptism," she told him. "Where you tell God that you're giving yourself to Him and you want a fresh start. He'll give it to you."
"Were you baptised?"
"Yeah, me and Joshua both. We were just babies." She paused. "You can be baptised and still mess up, but God always loves you and he'll forgive you messing up when you feel really bad about it."
She stared at him intently, hoping he realised what she was saying to him and how badly she wanted him to forgive her. After all the praying she'd done already, she was fairly sure God did. Since he didn't try to stop her, she kept stroking his ear, just gently tracing the edge of it with her fingers. It was the barest touch, but it sent warm tingles all throughout her. She knew it usually had the effect of bringing him to his knees, but this time his cheeks only reddened a little and he still wouldn't look at her, staring at the bible.
"Is there something so bad," he swallowed, "that it can't ever be forgiven?"
In that instant, Rosette wanted to die. "No," she choked, tearfully. "Nothing."
At that, he looked at her, his red eyes so round they were mostly hidden by pupil. He stared at her, his brow tight, and leaned forward, resting his forehead gently against hers. Rosette leaned forward against him as well, wanting to cry and being afraid to. Did he hate her? She didn't have the courage to find out, not here where the walls felt like they were closing in.
"Do you want to go somewhere?" she whispered. "Just get out of here and take off?"
"The lake?" he whispered back. "It's cold though."
"I don't care."
---000---
She gathered up blankets while he dressed in his warmest clothes and then asked him to wait while she went to get the car. He blinked at the request but didn't protest as she darted out into the frigid night, dressed in her thickest wool dress. She drove the car back around madly, but was careful not to do anything to frighten him the way she normally did as she navigated the way to the lake. He hated her driving and for the first time, she took that into consideration. They skidded a bit on the icy roads, but he didn't say anything, holding the bible to his chest. She didn't protest. If it gave him comfort, he could have it. The Order had lots of others.
It was a horrible night, the wind sheeting snow across the windshield. The car's heater struggled unsuccessfully to keep the car warm and their breath misted in the air as they drove in silence. It was terrible, but she kept driving, headed for the lake that had always been their escape.
It was frozen and next to impossible to see, even with demon eyes. Rosette took the lead when they stopped, breaking a trail for him as he followed with the blankets. Reaching the edge of the lake, they found a sheltered spot under a thick copse of trees and she cleared a place for them to sit before she started gathering dead branches to make a fire. Chrno she didn't ask to help at all and he watched her curiously, standing there wrapped in most of the blankets.
"Don't you want some help?" he asked at last.
Rosette flashed a smile at him. "No, you just take it easy. I'll have this done in a flash." She piled up wood for the fire and frowned at it, realising she didn't have any matches. "Chrno?"
"Uh huh?"
"Can I, I dunno," she twirled her fingers at the fire. "Make this burst into flames?"
He smiled, the first smile she'd seen on his face in weeks. "I don't know. Why don't you try? Point at it and imagine your astral getting really hot and firing out of your palm into the wood."
Rosette stared at the fire, pointed her hand at it dramatically, and tried to imagine her astral flowing out of her like a spear of flame. She was actually quite surprised when it did.
"Ah!" she shrieked, jumping back from the sudden bonfire. Chrno started laughing and she grinned at him, suddenly, absurdly happy. The cold meant nothing against that.
It didn't last. Chrno's face paled and his smile faded. Shuddering, he turned away.
"Chrno!" she cried, starting towards him with her hand outstretched. He looked back at her.
"S-sorry," he whispered, hugging the blankets and book to himself.
Rosette swallowed. This was killing her. She had to do it. She had to apologize and hope it was enough. If not, she didn't know what she was going to do.
---000---
Chrno watched Rosette throw a few more logs onto the fire and walk towards him. She looked like she was preparing herself for combat.
He did not feel prepared to face it. He could hear the Elder's screams in the back of his mind and he clutched the book so tightly that his fingers hurt. It promised salvation, but he couldn't believe it. Not for a demon. Not for him. He saw blood splatter behind his eyes and swayed.
Rosette put her hands on his arms, pulling him unresisting to his knees beside the warm fire. "Chrno," she said slowly, her head bent. She took a very deep breath and looked up at him. "I want to apologize, from the bottom of my heart."
He stared at her, so surprised that the screaming stopped. "Apologize? For what?"
Her lips firmed, her eyes wet. "For treating you like a pet instead of a person. For never asking you what you wanted. For telling you what to do all the time and never listening to what you try to tell me." Suddenly, she was hugging him to her, sobbing and wailing. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean it! I was stupid! I was bad! I never meant to hurt you! Don't hate me!"
Chrno was so stunned he couldn't breathe for a month. She was apologizing to him? For what? That was what he was made for. She was his master and he loved her. Quickly, he squirmed his arms free of the blanket and wrapped them around her, hugging her close.
"It's okay," he told her frantically. "I don't hate you, I could never hate you. It's all right. I love you, I love you!" The pain rose in him again, the Elder's screams echoing, and he gagged, not able to hold it in any more. It was let it out or die. "Oh God!"
The book said he'd be forgiven if he really wanted to be. But he was a demon. He couldn't be forgiven. Rosette had his face cupped in her hands, her eyes streaming with tears as she kissed him repeatedly on the lips, sobbing.
"You don't hate me!"
Blood across the room, a dying man's screams. "Oh God, help me," he whispered and saw her start in surprise. The words dragged out of him with a pained hiss, words he'd read in the book.
"Bless me… Sister… for I have sinned…"
Her eyes opened incredibly wide. Chrno grabbed her wrists in his hands, not able to take his gaze off her, not able to move. The guilt and the grief had him and they were all gushing out like an infected wound that had broken open.
"I killed the Elder," he gasped. Her eyes grew impossibly larger. "I… I went to him… the night you went after Dafau… for Remington… for a machine to save him… The Elder… the Elder had pictures of the nuns… and Azmaria… and you…" His voice cracked, coming out high-pitched and unfamiliar. "He had his hand… in you… and I killed him…" Tears were pouring out of him now, his words choked with sobs so hard they stole his breath. He couldn't let go of her though or move his eyes, and he could see the tears in her own. "I tore him apart… and I can't stop seeing it… and you… and oh God I want to die! Please… please forgive me! I can't be like this anymore!"
---000---
Rosette felt Chrno abruptly collapse against her, sobbing madly, his entire body shaking against her. She'd had… no idea…
Suddenly, she was outraged, madder than she'd ever been. Madder than at Kate, madder than at Aion, madder than anything. Rage rose up to grab her, but she pushed it away, able to keep it at bay for only one reason. It wasn't what Chrno needed.
Now she understood the conversation in the cottage, and all his actions beforehand. He'd been tearing himself apart from guilt and grief, self-destructing and not knowing how to stop it. She could have killed the Elder herself in that moment and she felt sick that he'd touched her, but she forced her arms to close around her lover, forced herself to remember the words he needed and to feel them in the depths of her own soul before she spoke.
"Do you repent?" she whispered.
"Yes!" he gasped.
"Do you accept God's grace and His love?"
"Yes!"
She closed her eyes. "Then you are forgiven."
Chrno started to cry again, shaking even harder than before, but she could tell these were healing tears. She just held him, nearly lying down with him as he wept himself out.
He'd thought she'd hate him, that all of them would hate him, but that wasn't what the Order was based on. She couldn't have sworn herself to it at all if it were, even to save her brother. She wouldn't have risked bringing a demon to them if that were true. The God she wore the blue for had more than enough room for one little demon who loved more than he'd ever harmed. She stroked his back, his head cradled on her breast as the weeping slowed. Finally, he just sniffled, hiccoughing a little as he got his breath back.
"Are you better now?"
"Can you baptize me?" he asked instead of answering.
Rosette blinked, startled, and looked at the lake. It was the middle of winter and he'd already nearly died of the cold once. He didn't need to risk pneumonia on top of everything else. She closed her eyes and remembered what Remington had told her.
"All right," she said.
She led him to the water's edge, Chrno following docilely, and kicked in the ice to clear a space before hitching her skirts up and tying them above her bloomers. The wind was frigid and the water was freezing cold, but Chrno didn't make a sound as he waded out into it with her. Rosette bit down on her own curses, putting one hand on his back once they were out deep enough and one on his chest.
She was pretty sure there were all sorts of words she was supposed to say, a specific ritual she was supposed to follow, but it was bloody cold and she was shivering and she was pretty sure they were both going to get sick from this.
"I hereby give you forgiveness of all your sins and welcome you into God's arms," she told him, teeth chattering, and dunked him backwards into the water. The water was cold for her; she could only imagine how bad it was for him. He was only under for an instant though and then back up beside her, gasping and shivering. "Come on," she hissed, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the water behind her, back to the fire.
They ended up stripping down, wrapped in the blankets and huddled together, so close to the fire that the edges of their blankets were almost burning. Rosette shuddered, sniffing miserably, and hoped the sun would come up soon. Chrno was pressed against her and she was still cold, save where he touched, which wasn't much given how small he was. She sneezed, violently.
For the first time in weeks, Chrno changed shape, shifting back into his adult form and wrapping his larger arms around her. Rosette leaned against him.
"We are so going to regret this," she bitched stuffily.
"Never," he answered softly and kissed her shoulder. A moment later, he kissed it again and started working his way up her neck. Shifting his position, he loosened his grip on her and stroked his hand tenderly along the side of her breast.
Rosette closed her eyes, sighing. It was still freezing cold, but the fire was hot and he was starting to use his astral to keep them warm, somehow utilizing it to shield them against the chill. Her desire, shoved down for hours now, resurged with a vengeance. Before she could do anything, though, he roughly pushed her back against the ground, leaning his weight on her to keep her down. Rosette yelped, but he went on kissing her neck and now her face, pressing his lips to every inch of her.
"Chrno?" she asked, confused. She tried to reach for him, but he grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head.
"Shh," he whispered, rubbing his cheek against her. "You're mine. Mine." He went on to kiss her ears, reaching across her to both of them, and licked her horns before pulling back to work on her neck again, making his way down.
Rosette relaxed slowly, letting him do what he wanted. He'd never been so dominant before, but she had the feeling it wasn't her he was doing it for. He was combating the Elder, covering her with his kisses and his scent to banish whatever memory he had of what had been done to her. The blonde smiled and tilted her head back, aware that this was a healing for him as much as the baptism and far more enjoyable a one for her.
---000---
Chrno moved to her breasts, afraid to let go of her and have her take over. Not this time. He couldn't fully understand his actions himself, not the way Rosette did, but he knew he wanted to possess her, to overwhelm her and have her respond to him as she never would to any other man. That would get the image of the photograph out of his mind, make him forget that anyone else had ever touched her.
He laved her breasts with his tongue, sucked on her nipples until she was gasping. They were beautiful and pink, tiny and hard under his tongue. He worked them until he had her crying out, her entire body trembling, and then continued his way down, kissing her ribs and stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel. She was intensely beautiful to him, gasping in air and covered with a golden sheen of sweat. He had to let go of her to go further, but when he did, she didn't move, just lay there and breathed.
"Chrno…" she whispered.
Chrno smiled at her though her head was turned away, her eyes closed, and shifted so he was between her legs, gently nudging her knees apart. She let him and his breath caught. Rosette wasn't shy, but she'd never really let him see her before, not like this, and his passion for her surged.
"Rosette," he gasped and ducked his head to taste her deeply.
Rosette shrieked, her back arching, and he grabbed her hips to hold her still. Her hands tangled in his hair as he worked and suddenly she was pulling him against her, burying his face in her folds. It didn't matter, she wasn't in charge. He had her screaming, shaking out of control and wailing his name. The Elder hadn't even managed to wake her up. He was nothing to Chrno anymore except a regretful memory. Not gone, never gone, but not consuming him either.
He pushed his lover until she went over the edge, howling at the top of her lungs, and her entire body tightened around him. She held that position for a long moment, her flesh pulsing under his tongue, and then collapsed bonelessly. Shuddering himself, he crawled back up to her and pulled her exhausted shape into his arms.
"Whoa," she managed at last. "That was really jake... You should do that again."
"Anytime," he murmured and reached for the blankets before his shield wore off and let the cold in again. Rosette cuddled against him gladly and closed her eyes, happy to just lie against him until dawn arrived.
---000---
The Sunday sermon went smoothly, starting early as it always did and leading to the end where the faithful would take communion. Remington stood at the alter and spoke smoothly, Kate at the foot of the stairs and ready to assist him with the Eucharist.
They had just started and he'd given the wafer and wine to a half dozen nuns when the doors at the back of the church banged open, letting in a blast of freezing wind and snow. Everyone shuddered, looking to see who was so late.
To no one's surprise, it was Rosette, her nose red and her face pale. She'd been down for three days with the flu, Remington knew, which did make it somewhat surprising that she'd shown up at all.
What was even more surprising was that Chrno was following her, almost mummified in heavy coats and just as sick as she was. Remington had been making daily trips to their cottage to bring them soup and generally check on how they were doing. He didn't want to see either of them end up as sick as Chrno had been after he helped him out. Both of them should have still been in bed, and to see either of them in the church was unheard of. Remington wasn't sure Chrno had even set foot in it before. He certainly wasn't welcomed by everyone. There were angry murmurs from some of the older members of the Order and Kate's lips tightened.
"Sorry," Rosette coughed, sniffing. "We slept in." She yanked off her coat and threw it over the back of a pew before slumping down beside Anne, Marie, and Claire. Chrno took his own coat off more slowly. He was back in his boy form, his hair badly braided and his ears drooping. He didn't look like he could breathe through his nose at all.
Remington fought the urge to laugh at the two and raised a hand to silence the murmurs. "As you're here now, Sister Rosette, are you prepared to take communion?" She hadn't done so since she was made into a demon, though she never missed a sermon, late though she often was.
"Not me," she grumbled miserably and cocked a thumb at Chrno. "Him." She shot the small demon a glare. "The holy water only! Don't you eat or drink anything!"
The church was stunned into silence. Even Remington was shocked speechless. Chrno looked around himself nervously and shuffled down the aisle, his arms wrapped around his chest in a protective gesture as he came toward him.
"What?" Rosette grumbled, glaring around her.
"Are you serious?" Kate gasped. "You can't be serious."
"Why not?" Rosette asked. "I baptized him last week. He wants to take the communion. The holy water part only!" she added, shouting the last at Chrno. He didn't answer her, stepping up onto the dais and kneeling uncertainly on the tiny stool placed there. He looked up at Remington nervously.
"Are you sure?" Remington asked him in an undertone. "The holy water will burn you."
"I'm sure," he answered back, just as softly. "I need to."
Kate, meanwhile, was reeling at this latest revelation. "You baptised a demon?" she shrieked. "Are you mad??"
"What's wrong with that?" Rosette screamed back, though her voice was too stuffed up to get really loud. "You keep telling me that God loves everyone!" The congregation turned their heads to look between each one as they screamed.
"Not demons!"
"Why not? He's got a good soul!"
"He doesn't have a soul at all! He's a demon!"
"That's bullshit!"
"Don't you swear in the house of God!"
It didn't look like the argument would be ending anytime soon. "Rosette baptized you?" Remington asked Chrno. "Why?"
"I…" Chrno looked down. "I wanted to make up for things I've done… in the past. She said God forgives."
"He does." He gazed at the lavender-haired demon fondly. Kate's protests aside, he had no doubt that Chrno was possessed of a soul, and a very good one indeed. "But to take the communion…"
"Rosette says not to take the wine or the wafer. She's afraid they'll poison me, but I talked her into the holy water." He looked up at the priest again.
"You don't have to do this at all, Chrno. I don't want to see you hurt."
"Me neither. But I have to do this all the way. Or as far as I can." He twisted his fingers together and coughed wretchedly. "It's not blasphemous, is it?"
Remington hoped not. "I don't think so." Sighing, he turned to the bowl of holy water and dipped his thumb into it, careful to barely wet the skin. He turned back and Chrno closed his eyes, wincing in preparation.
"In the name of the Father," Remington said loudly, immediately stopping the argument and drawing everyone's attention back to him. "The Son, and the Holy Ghost." With that, he made the sign of the cross on the demon's forehead.
He expected smoke and the smell of burning flesh. Demons were vulnerable to holy water and Chrno had proven in the past he was no exception. There was nothing though and after a moment the demon's eyes blinked open in confusion.
"Did you put any on me?"
Remington would have said no, but he could see the shine of water on the demon's forehead. Chrno reached up and touched his skin, bringing his fingers away to see they were wet. His eyes widened.
"Chrno?" Rosette called. "What's going on?"
"What happened?" Kate demanded at the same time.
Remington looked out over the congregation, so shocked that his knees felt weak. "The holy water didn't burn him."
"What?!" Kate and Rosette shrieked in unison.
Chrno shuddered on the stool and suddenly he changed, shifting to demon in an instant. The congregation screamed as he spread his wings, the steel-studded leather he wore creaking when he shifted. Blood trickled steadily from the fragments of his horn stumps.
"Give me the wafer and the wine," he told Remington flatly.
"No!" Rosette shouted. "Chrno, no!" She ran forward, but he flared his wings, his tail lashing in warning.
"NO! Don't stop me, Rosette!" She skidded to a halt, horrified, but she didn't take another step toward him.
"Please, Chrono," she begged. "The wafer and wine are deadly poison to demons!"
"And the holy water burns." He looked up at the priest. "Please, Father."
Remington couldn't refuse him, though his heart shuddered at the thought that he might be about to kill his friend. Breathing a prayer under his breath, he reached for the wafer and the goblet of red wine. The entire church was frozen and silent, except for Rosette's frightened sobs.
Repeating the words of the ritual by rote, Remington carefully placed the wafer into Chrno's open mouth and held the goblet to his lips. The demon drank, deeply.
"No," Rosette sobbed. "Don't die!"
Remington pulled the goblet back and Chrno bowed his head, his wings shivering. He shuddered once and Rosette cried out aloud. Remington set the goblet aside, not noticing when it spilled, and knelt before him.
"Chrno?" he called softly. "Are you all right?"
Chrno lifted his head, his red eyes wide and slitted. "It was just wine and a cracker," he whispered. "It didn't hurt at all."
"Oh my God," the priest breathed.
"Were they blessed?"
He nodded. "Yes. Consecrated to God."
"Then why am I alive?"
Remington smiled, cupping the demon's cheeks. "Do you really have to ask about a miracle?"
Suddenly Rosette was there, sobbing and hugging him and coughing, her nose running. "You idiot!" she gasped. "You stupid, stupid idiot!" Chrno flinched, apologizing, but she was beating him over the head, shrieking about getting back at him for this.
Remington straightened up and looked at Kate. She was gaping at the two, her face white. He almost laughed at her, but the two demons in front of him were being disrespectful enough. He finally had to kick them both out, banished back to bed, and returned to the church, to deal with the obvious repercussions this was going to cause.
THE END
More to come. Haven't quite done all the things I want to do yet and there's a lot of room to play with this series. I haven't quite decided what's coming next though.
In other news, I am deploying, but it's a short mission and I should be back by the end of the month. I might even have an internet connection while I'm gone. But I do plan to have time to write when I'm not working, so expect some more stories at some point.
As always, review if you liked. It makes me feel good and it would be great to come home to a box full of comments..